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Forum:	Lindaland Central
Topic:	Will I cope on my own with two children?

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<table border=0 cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 width="95%"><TR><td bgcolor="#CC3299"><TABLE BORDER=0 cellpadding=4 border=0 cellspacing=1 WIDTH="100%"><TR bgcolor="#871f78"><TD COLSPAN=2><CENTER>T O P I C     R E V I E W</CENTER></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>ListensToTrees</TD><TD>I've just found out I'm pregnant again.....wasn't planned. I used to trust 'coitus interruptus', but I won't be trusting him gain, lol!I don't think I will be staying in the relationship with my boyfriend. We don't even live together- I am living in my mothers house (which was meant to be temporary until I found out I was pregnant with my little boy who will be 2 in October). I left home at 17 and stayed in rented flats and with friends for 5 years. I don't get on that well with my mother.I am getting tired of my boyfriend's inability to compromise. He doesn't do anything to make life easier, to compromise. He does work as a DJ 2 or 3 times a week, but chooses to stay up until dawn every night of the week. I am a light sleeper. I have to get up early for my son. I used to go and stay with him a few days a week, but he has turned his house upside down to do work on it but hasn't been able to finish it because of other work he does. I haven't stayed there for months. I feel as if we're growing apart, I don't feel like I'm in a relationship because I don't see him and just lately we've not been getting on. We argue about routine (I feel it is important for very young children, he can't grasp such a concept). We also argue about meat and diet issues....amongst other things. I also don't feel he makes enough effort to make his house child friendly.Now I've just found out I'm pregnant again. On one hand, I've got no idea how I'll cope, as my little boy hardly slept for the first year, and still wakes up frequently. I've always been a light sleeper; thoughts going around in my head at night if I've got ideas or just worried about something. I don't know how I will manage to be a good mother to two without neglecting one or the other, and that would break my heart (my mother also works full-time and I will defintely be moving out).And on the other hand, I have been kind of worried about my son being a lonely only child. This might....IS the only chance for him to have a brother or sister in within the same age group. And the thought of abortion seems so horrible.....I keep thinking....and feeling that a spirit is waiting/ready to come to me. Once I've made one decision or the other, there will be NO going back.I know that this is to much to ask you knowflakes....so what I'm asking, is if any of you out there have been in or are in a similar situation. How did you cope raising two small children on your own? My son will be 2 years and 8 months by the time the baby will born. I want to be optimistic, but this is SUCH a shock.Sometimes I feel I hate my mother for never giving me my own space, forever nagging me/treating me like a kid (I'm 25), telling me how to raise my son and I hate my boyfriend for letting me down. I'm glad I'm a mother, but I kinda wish it had been with someone else.The sooner I move out, the better. I just wish I knew what would be best for my son. Would I be a better mother to just him alone? Or would having a brother or sister mean more than the world to him? (even if it takes him a while to get used to it at first). Sorry knowflakes....just unloading my burdon by doing some theraputic writing. Love & Light</TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>pixelpixie</TD><TD>We have seen you post here under a few names. One name is no different than the other..in the sense that you............ that is to say.... You can do anything. I know you can. Worry, think, explain, adjust.... anything you need to do will work for you. Please keep talking. Congratulations. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/star2.gif"></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>LibraSparkle</TD><TD>Firstly, Congratulations! <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart2.gif">Apparently this little person chose you for a reason. You'll be up to the task. You kinda have to be. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/wink.gif">I think its normal (single mom or not) to have the worries that you are having. Read your post again. Obviously you already love this baby (and you son) so much that you are concerned your performance might not meet their needs.See there? That IS what it takes to be a good mother... The *want to* factor. You are aware that your children need a good mother, and you aren't going to allow yourself to forget it.Also, I agree with you that your life as a mother will be much easier to command once you are no longer living with your mother. She will always see you as her child, as you will always see your children, and probably feels as though she would be failing her child (and grandchild) if she doesn't take an active role. The only way to nip that is to not live in her home. Sucks, I'm sure... but she is your mother, and it is her house.You need your own house where you are the Mommy... the head of household... where YOU can reign supreme. Good luck, sweetie. It will all work itself out, and you will be a wonderful mother.Congratulations. You can do this! <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/love.gif"></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>Yang</TD><TD>Congratulations <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/balloons.gif"> But I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through with your boyfriend.Realistically-think of how many other single women there are, out there, who cope with raising their children. Don't be frightened! you are NOT alone!</TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>sue g</TD><TD>Oh you sweet thing.....and dont apologise.....that is what we are here for isnt it?I am in awe of some of the women in my life......single and coping wonderfully.....with two, three or more children...and do you know what, I have a very strong feeling that this new little soul will be very easy for you to look after, and everything will fall into place....you will get a new home and life will provide for you in more than one way...I am in awe of you......25.....and so responsible and so caring.....how can things NOT turn out for you sweetie.....Will pray for you and send you lots of Irish luck.....And one thing girl......never hold back when you wanna share......these people here are diamonds........ <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/angel.gif">Love to you <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart.gif"> Sue G xxx</TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>ListensToTrees</TD><TD>Your words have given me warmth like a cozy fire on a wintry evening. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/love.gif">I feel that the advice each of you has given me is full of truth and wisdom.I am feeling stronger already. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/angel.gif"></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>Yang</TD><TD>Glad to hear that <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/love.gif"></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>Yang</TD><TD>Glad to hear that <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/love.gif"></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>sue g</TD><TD>Just "tune in" girl when you want that fire, or some strength......tune into the love here.....there is enough for everyone....... <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart.gif"> <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/love.gif"> <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart.gif"> <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/love.gif">x x x </TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>ListensToTrees</TD><TD>That is so beautiful....I could cryIts easy to forget, to feel we're alone when we're never aloneAll over the world/s....flames, sparks of the divine flickering away, wherever they may be, knowing that all the world needs is love <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart2.gif"> <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/angel.gif"> </TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>Hedgewitch</TD><TD>dear LTT ~i have another perspective for you...i envy you! i love being a mother, i'd love to have more babies than my one babe....and how nice it would have been to be a single mama raising my son in his first years....no heartache, no abuse, no terror, no fear that a child's own father wants to eat his own offspring. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/frown.gif">please, LTT, be very grateful that your man lets you be a mother to your children...that he doesn't attempt to destroy you in the most subtle and insidious ways....that he doesn't mortally wound your very soul with his voracious anger at you and the world.why do some men hate their children and the women who bore them so very much? what is it about a woman birthing a man's child that makes him turn all his violent rage at the world against her? why does a man desire to destroy his own child and the soul of the mother?i agree, nothing in the world can replace a father with a good heart toward his own child...but that's almost a fairy tale in the world today, at least in my world. the fairy tale is so pretty...to have your child's father love and desire his child, the best for his son....given though that this option doesn't exist, i'd take being a single mother any day....with a basket full of babies! they are the light and joy of the universe. every baby is a star from heaven.LTT ~~ i know you'll be a divine mother to your babies...all of them. they chose you for this reason. celebrate. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/blueheart.gif">may goddess bless you and bring you all things good. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart2.gif">love and light to you ~~ Hedgewitch</TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>sue g</TD><TD>Yes Listen......the power of love is huge....... <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart.gif">Love and God bless Sue xxx <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/love.gif">xx</TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>ListensToTrees</TD><TD>Thankyou, Hedgewitch.I want to hug you, to take away the pain you've experienced. I really do, precious soul.Love and Light to you, my friend <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart.gif"> I realise how lucky I am. I get too wrapped up in my own stuff- need to count my blessings. And there are good men out there, there really are. Mine is one of them. What's difficult is finding one who will commit! Learning to sense a person's energy is a good way to choose who to let into your life and who to keep out of it.....we all have the ability- we just forget how......what I mean is I really feel for you, Hedgewitch- you should never have had to go through that, no-one should- but at least you're ok now.....and you have your sweet angel, and they mean the world <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/love.gif">I am sending you my love and light <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/angel.gif"></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>Solane Star</TD><TD>Love and light to you ladies!!!You both have so much strength and sometimes don't even know it!!! <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/angel.gif"> You guys are wonderful mothers!!!Love <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart.gif"> Solane Star <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/star.gif"> </TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>Bluemoon</TD><TD>Listens, I am a single mother of my son. He has never met his father and he is 22. I would not marry my 7 year old daughter's father either. Although I have lived with him for the past 20 years. My health and therefore my financial situation has kept me here. I use to love him, but that has been shredded beyond repair. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/frown.gif"> <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/blueheart.gif">ANYWAY........... I would not trade anything for my wonderful children. My son is the joy in my life and although we do butt heads, my daughter is the world to me. I prayed for her to come to me for years before she was born. Love and light to you, Listens. May you find nothing but joy.</TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>Hedgewitch</TD><TD>dear LTT ~thank you so very much for those kind, loving words. they sent soft healing light through my heart, and their sweetness soothed me. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/smile.gif">you have healing mother love strong in your heart. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/love.gif">thank you too, Solane, for those words of strength.love, Hedgewitch</TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>ListensToTrees</TD><TD> <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart2.gif"></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>sue g</TD><TD>Hi ListensRemember girl, when you feel wobbly or a little vulnerable just come in and post.......you were on my mind today.....and I would love to help........ <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart.gif"> xxxx</TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>ListensToTrees</TD><TD>Thankyou. I appreciate it. Your words have helped me already.I noticed in your profile that you are a healer. What sort of healing do you practice? I'm interested. I would love to master a form of healing some day. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/wink.gif"></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>sue g</TD><TD>Hi ListensI started off doing massage and aromatherapy,,,,study of the oils and stuff,,,then studied Reiki 1,2 and 3 and also learned some spiritual healing, colour therapy, a little about healing spaces and spirit clearing......a bit of everything really. I do absent healing at the moment with photographs..... <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/heart.gif"> xxx</TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>Devilfish</TD><TD>aw, ListenstoTrees <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/blueheart.gif"> i had four children in seven years!!!!!!!!!!!! i had my first at 18, my last at 25 with every new babe i worried "can i do this" "will i be a good mom" will the other children suffer" and you know as soon as they were born things fell right into place, and i would think how did i ever worry! you can do this, i think its great to have them so close togather, my kids are super close ,they are very loving and protective of eachother. i've had hard moments when ive doubted myself but their love has always carried me thru. enjoy your son , enjoy this new growing soul. you are a gentle lovin spirit and some children dont get that kind of love even when they have the two parents at home............ remember,the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. sending you strength. <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/angel.gif"></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>Thorshammer</TD><TD>My sweet lovely Uk girl...you know those SAGI MEN....loners of hell...I will write you later, but i know you can do this job...its nothing for you...your so cute... you are so inquisitive..you jumped right to wanting to know what SUE did as a healer..such a Knowledge seeker E, You are going to be a great mommy again!!!!having all that power to want to KNOW...you'll do just fine lady. MUAHHHHH</TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#FAEBF8"><TD valign=top>ListensToTrees</TD><TD> <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/blushing.gif"></TD></TR><TR bgcolor="#F4D5F0"><TD valign=top>ListensToTrees</TD><TD>Devilfish, you rock! <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/starsmile.gif"> superstarAnd the fact your children are so loving towards each other shows you are surely doing somthing right <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/wink.gif">And all you mums out there are superstars! <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/starsmile.gif">I love all you knowflakes <IMG SRC="http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/love.gif"></TD></TR></TABLE></td></tr></table>

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