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T O P I C R E V I E Wand.Lady DeeWhy would you want to change him? What about the qualities that attracted you to him? The concept of perfection will only limit you.,......enjoy the imperfections.Lady Deeedited for being trigger happy and posting twice.and.GooberzlostlovefoundNo, you cannot change a man, in my opinion. And it's not a good idea to try. People change when/if they are ready to. Not when you (as in the "universal" you) want them to.It will only make a man resent you.just my $0.02GLLFGooberzlostlovefoundThat's not to say people *don't* change. It does happen. But it has to be on behalf of their own desire...and.Natural111Hmmmm.... That's a tough question.I can say this, a human being can only change him or herself. And sometimes that change is brought on by other human contact. Contact between lovers, friends, family, teachers and sometimes even strangers. BUT, it's up to the person to receive stimulus that will cause the change/growth. So, basically, sometimes a man can love something about you and love you, and because of that wants to change something in himself to make him a better person because he admires it in you. That's vice versa as well. :-)Oh, yeah, but a lady's man....?... I always figured that's a self esteem issue there. A man who needs so much attention from women, is like a woman who needs so much attention from men. And again, the same thing applies for that issue as well. DayDreamerPersonally, I wouldn't waste my time. I'm sure guys can change...ive seen some of my girlfriends change because of a guy, so dont see how guys wouldnt also...maybe not exactly to your liking, but its possible. You'd probably change in the process of changing him, like change your mind about the guy or change your mind about changing him. VenusWhy would you want to be with someone you feel the need to 'change' - something I can never understand. I think you should accept people the way they 'choose' to be or walk away.It seems to be a 'woman' thing as I think men are far more accepting of people the way they are.VenuscappyJust adding my two cents:Whenever you try changing people, you crush their spirit in one way or another. It's like putting a bird in a cage. Change has to come from within the person. And people do change through relationships, especially the romantic kinds. But this doesn't come out through one person trying to change another, it comes through the effect of love on both people: it's like they merge as one. By the same token, many of the divorces out there happen because one person try to change the other and failed.The only lesson is: if you like someone, and there's something you really wish to change about them because it bothers you that bad, then this person cannot possibly be compatible with you. That's your signal to exit the scene...Ladies' man do change sometimes, especially when they fall hard for someone...But don't expect that you could change a ladies's man by your own actions or wishes. And I agree with Venus: women has this thing indeed of wanting to change a man; call it vanity or a princess syndrome or maybe a residue of our education as girls who are supposed to meet the perfect man one day...it's just not healthy and realisticNatural111Well said, Cappy! Wise, wise, words. I've digested them and have learned something :-)sue gWe've no right to change anyone...have we?I suppose the question we have to ask is how would we feel if someone tried to change us.....do unto others etc...As for a ladies man.....unless you want to remain just friends, I would run a mile.....unless of course you dont mind sharing him? Mama MiaAnd: I think you should rethink that question..If a man is a ladies man and he changes that it will be bc he wants to not bc you can make him. Think back on some of your lessons with the Aqua guy.. Stargazer *******As for a ladies man.....unless you want to remain just friends, I would run a mile.....unless of course you dont mind sharing him?********* PansPrideChanging a man? Changing anyone man or woman unfortunatly in my observations It takes both tragedy, and success to change anyone. I've some experience with helping someone change, and changing myself recently. She wanted to change her life I made it happen, but not to the degree that she wanted it. So we've split, bitterly. And that's my success, knowing that I've help to form her into an excellent mother, and someone elses excellent wife. My tragedy, Now i know i shouldn't be so Naive, that i really need to grow up and can't find substitutes for my pain. And of course knowing that She will be someone elses, that someone could give her what I wouldn't. It hurts, but point is mostly that I helped her change her life, she help me change mine. She will find someone that can give her what she needs someday, as will I.Just a side note this has been the worst year of my life. God help me in 2009...------------------Sun Cap, Moon Lib, Venus sag, Mars Cap, Leo Ascendent1scorpI've had men try to change me. They like me and I'm "almost" perfect for them... but if I would just do this... or just respond like that. It's very depressing to be on the receiving end of it. Especially if I truly had feelings for the person. I came to a point that I felt I wasn't good relationship material because of it. It took me a while to realize that it wasn't "me" that had the problem, as I was much more accepting of their quirks than they were with mine. Thing is, to me the quirks they would try and change weren't really changeable. It is part of who I am. Yes, I analyze things to much. Yes, I'm not a morming person. Yes, I have my periods to where I need to be alone. Yes, I go out of my way for people. No, I don't feel the need to snap back at someone even if they deserve it. No, I don't always want to go out. Yes, I do need at least 6 hours of sleep. No, I don't want you to buy me things. Etc., Etc. __________________________________________Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranusLibra moon, pluto, and asc. tinasparkleJust my two cents, but I think that we are the only ones that can make a change in our lives or personality/behavior. Secondly, I would ask how you would feel if he decided you needed to change? Try to love him as he is, but if there are behaviors that you find untenable or inappropriate, better to avoid the relationship all together. Tinasparklejuliuhmmmm.. I know what you mean here. IMO.. never, I mean NEVER try to change someone. Understanding and adjusting is all you can do. Personally, I would tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and ask if he would feel the same were you so popular with the guys. Show him a little of how it makes you feel. If he truly cares for you, he'll understand and try to adjust himself somewhat in consideration for you. That's not "changing" per se.. so much as caring SwerveIf you changed him you wouldn't respect him and it would defeat the object anyway.Besides, if he's a player he'll probably catch on and play you right back while you think you're leading the dance.Dangerous stuff!SwerveYangYou can't change a man! Dulce LunaIts not even worth the energy....Mama MiaI believe she gets it!!!lalalindatotally agree with Swerve
People change when/if they are ready to. Not when you (as in the "universal" you) want them to.
It will only make a man resent you.
just my $0.02
GLLF
Oh, yeah, but a lady's man....?... I always figured that's a self esteem issue there. A man who needs so much attention from women, is like a woman who needs so much attention from men. And again, the same thing applies for that issue as well.
I'm sure guys can change...ive seen some of my girlfriends change because of a guy, so dont see how guys wouldnt also...maybe not exactly to your liking, but its possible. You'd probably change in the process of changing him, like change your mind about the guy or change your mind about changing him.
It seems to be a 'woman' thing as I think men are far more accepting of people the way they are.
Venus
I suppose the question we have to ask is how would we feel if someone tried to change us.....do unto others etc...
As for a ladies man.....unless you want to remain just friends, I would run a mile.....unless of course you dont mind sharing him?
If a man is a ladies man and he changes that it will be bc he wants to not bc you can make him.
Think back on some of your lessons with the Aqua guy..
Just a side note this has been the worst year of my life. God help me in 2009...
------------------Sun Cap, Moon Lib, Venus sag, Mars Cap, Leo Ascendent
They like me and I'm "almost" perfect for them... but if I would just do this... or just respond like that.
It's very depressing to be on the receiving end of it. Especially if I truly had feelings for the person. I came to a point that I felt I wasn't good relationship material because of it.
It took me a while to realize that it wasn't "me" that had the problem, as I was much more accepting of their quirks than they were with mine. Thing is, to me the quirks they would try and change weren't really changeable. It is part of who I am.
Yes, I analyze things to much. Yes, I'm not a morming person. Yes, I have my periods to where I need to be alone. Yes, I go out of my way for people. No, I don't feel the need to snap back at someone even if they deserve it. No, I don't always want to go out. Yes, I do need at least 6 hours of sleep. No, I don't want you to buy me things. Etc., Etc. __________________________________________Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranusLibra moon, pluto, and asc.
Tinasparkle
Besides, if he's a player he'll probably catch on and play you right back while you think you're leading the dance.
Dangerous stuff!
Swerve
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