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T O P I C R E V I E Wteasel http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2019/03/05/jassy-correia-and-besties-safety-roll-call-text-when-you-get-home/Gvu0UlaZ7muEwW5BXS2iWI/story.html StubbornVirgoAs someone who was stalked and assaulted while trying to walk out to her car after a college class, I can personally attest to how meaningful this article really is.I've sent "made it home okay" texts every day since that happened. Due to my long commute to and from work, I also send "made it to work okay" and "leaving work" texts to my family once I've made it out of the parking lot and am in my work or my car. These are more for my family. I think they're more traumatized than I am, fearing that one day that assault will turn into something even worse. It's easy to see why...I was lucky once. There's no guarantee that I will be lucky again.teasel I was going to say more, but I'm really tired. Dee💜Randall quote:Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:As someone who was stalked and assaulted while trying to walk out to her car after a college class, I can personally attest to how meaningful this article really is.I've sent "made it home okay" texts every day since that happened. Due to my long commute to and from work, I also send "made it to work okay" and "leaving work" texts to my family once I've made it out of the parking lot and am in my work or my car. These are more for my family. I think they're more traumatized than I am, fearing that one day that assault will turn into something even worse. It's easy to see why...I was lucky once. There's no guarantee that I will be lucky again.RandallBump!PixieJaneMy first reaction upon seeing the title is that too many people are crazy with their constant texting, and I'm glad it's technically illegal to text and drive though many do...and texting is also used in stalking, and that includes men spying on and controlling women (as well as vice versa). But even that aside, too many text when bored and hit the roof when they don't get a text back, or at the very least want to be the first to know what happened. About the only reason I have texting is for emergencies. 'Course I gotta worry about kids being somewhere very different than they claim, but I don't make them take a picture to prove it (though I would given reason, but I wouldn't tolerate an adult doing this to me, nor would I do to it to an adult).But the article isn't so much about that for those thinking it was. Still, it's nothing new...and for those that it might make feel better...some men who do step up:WWYD: Two Guys Drug College Girl's DrinkWWYD: Woman receives unwanted attentionThere are a whole bunch like that, including men trying to lure teen girls or domestic battery in public, but as I know it would trigger some I won't post those. Lots of men and women will step up. (Likewise, there was one in which a woman pretends to drug a man's drink and it's a woman who steps up to warn him while a group of men who saw it laughed it off thinking he got what deserved for being so stupid as to leave his drink unattended. I'm sure I can find that one again if you want.) Of course many won't. I think back and I remember absurd situations I've had to deal with in which everyone turned away even in broad daylight or otherwise tried to sweep it all under the rug so they're not inconvenienced in any way. But there have been times when people intervened and I (and we) should remember those as well. It's too easy to remember the bad and forget the good, especially when certain groups try to divide us against each other rather than unite us.Oh, bonus! A guy grabs a waitress's butt, and like in so many movies she smacks him down...what was really great is that her male boss said that was awesome! (I know more than once I've hesitated to defend myself even verbally or ran instead of pressing charges for fears, right or wrong, that I'd--or someone close to me--would be the one targeted for retribution for upsetting the hegemony, but it's not always like that, so I loved that part of her supported by her boss.)The Kind of Story We Need Right Now: Waitress Body Slams GroperteaselBump. teasel http://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-56361529 teasel quote:I don’t even know how to word this because I feel like my words can’t do justice to how many women are feeling right now. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Sarah Everard and how a woman was not allowed to walk home. It’s unbearable. ⠀⠀⠀I’ve also felt a deep sense of connection between myself and other women this week. I’ve had conversations about how being hyper-conscious of our safety is just something we’ve done throughout our entire lives. The deep sense of connection is one of fear. ⠀⠀⠀We have all shared our live locations.We have all changed our shoes.We have all held our keys between our fingers.We have all made phone calls, both real and fake.We have all tucked our hair inside our coats.We have all ran down dark roads.We have all theorised our escape routes. ⠀⠀⠀What’s so insidious is that these things don’t even feel like ‘special safety tools’. They’re literally just engrained behaviours and actions we’ve had to pick up since we were little girls. Because ’that’s just the way it is.’ ⠀⠀⠀‘Text me when you get home xxx’ is a standard procedure amongst women. Auto-pilot. ⠀⠀⠀I wish more men understood the fact that we cannot walk alone at night with headphones in.That whenever we get in Ubers, there’s the lingering thought this could be it.That whenever you say ‘they’re just being friendly’, you are part of the problem.That whenever we walk past groups of men, our heart beats a little bit faster.That whenever we shout back at sexual harrassment in the street, we take yet another gamble at risking our safety. ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Stop harassing women.Stop victim-blaming women.And stop burdening women with the weight of other men’s actions. ⠀⠀⠀A woman should have been allowed to walk home. http://www.instagram.com/p/CMR7GmRlO4L/ teasel http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/mar/17/breaking-silence-patriarchy-men-help-end-violence-against-women teasel http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/mar/19/women-harmed-every-day-invisible-men StawrI lived 10 minutes away from my grandma. I use to have dinner with her once a week. If I drove home when it got dark. I had to call her. I thought it was a bit much. But she use to have to take the bus at night with her mom. One day they were waiting for the bus at night and a man pulled over to attempt to abduct them. Their saving grace was she was super pregnant with my oldest uncle, and her mom was senior citizen age. Possibly in her 60's. So the guy backed off and drove away. But they were definitely grabbed first.teasel quote:Originally posted by teasel: [QUOTE]I don’t even know how to word this because I feel like my words can’t do justice to how many women are feeling right now. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Sarah Everard and how a woman was not allowed to walk home. It’s unbearable. ⠀⠀⠀I’ve also felt a deep sense of connection between myself and other women this week. I’ve had conversations about how being hyper-conscious of our safety is just something we’ve done throughout our entire lives. The deep sense of connection is one of fear. ⠀⠀⠀We have all shared our live locations.We have all changed our shoes.We have all held our keys between our fingers.We have all made phone calls, both real and fake.We have all tucked our hair inside our coats.We have all ran down dark roads.We have all theorised our escape routes. ⠀⠀⠀What’s so insidious is that these things don’t even feel like ‘special safety tools’. They’re literally just engrained behaviours and actions we’ve had to pick up since we were little girls. Because ’that’s just the way it is.’ ⠀⠀⠀‘Text me when you get home xxx’ is a standard procedure amongst women. Auto-pilot. ⠀⠀⠀I wish more men understood the fact that we cannot walk alone at night with headphones in.That whenever we get in Ubers, there’s the lingering thought this could be it.That whenever you say ‘they’re just being friendly’, you are part of the problem.That whenever we walk past groups of men, our heart beats a little bit faster.That whenever we shout back at sexual harrassment in the street, we take yet another gamble at risking our safety. ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Stop harassing women.Stop victim-blaming women.And stop burdening women with the weight of other men’s actions. ⠀⠀⠀A woman should have been allowed to walk home. http://www.instagram.com/p/CMR7GmRlO4L/ [/QUOTE]teaselA shooting in Plymouth, because a man hated women. One manor social media said, “I hope the women of Plymouth accept some responsibility for this.” http://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/mar/03/incel-movement-terror-threat-canada http://amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/aug/13/plymouth-shootings-may-be-a-sign-the-incel-culture-is-spreading And just in case anyone wants to jump in with something shoot England, and guns: http://twitter.com/ovierocks1/status/1426254985000538117?s=21
I've sent "made it home okay" texts every day since that happened. Due to my long commute to and from work, I also send "made it to work okay" and "leaving work" texts to my family once I've made it out of the parking lot and am in my work or my car. These are more for my family. I think they're more traumatized than I am, fearing that one day that assault will turn into something even worse. It's easy to see why...I was lucky once. There's no guarantee that I will be lucky again.
I was going to say more, but I'm really tired.
quote:Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:As someone who was stalked and assaulted while trying to walk out to her car after a college class, I can personally attest to how meaningful this article really is.I've sent "made it home okay" texts every day since that happened. Due to my long commute to and from work, I also send "made it to work okay" and "leaving work" texts to my family once I've made it out of the parking lot and am in my work or my car. These are more for my family. I think they're more traumatized than I am, fearing that one day that assault will turn into something even worse. It's easy to see why...I was lucky once. There's no guarantee that I will be lucky again.
About the only reason I have texting is for emergencies. 'Course I gotta worry about kids being somewhere very different than they claim, but I don't make them take a picture to prove it (though I would given reason, but I wouldn't tolerate an adult doing this to me, nor would I do to it to an adult).
But the article isn't so much about that for those thinking it was. Still, it's nothing new...and for those that it might make feel better...some men who do step up:
WWYD: Two Guys Drug College Girl's Drink
WWYD: Woman receives unwanted attention
There are a whole bunch like that, including men trying to lure teen girls or domestic battery in public, but as I know it would trigger some I won't post those. Lots of men and women will step up. (Likewise, there was one in which a woman pretends to drug a man's drink and it's a woman who steps up to warn him while a group of men who saw it laughed it off thinking he got what deserved for being so stupid as to leave his drink unattended. I'm sure I can find that one again if you want.)
Of course many won't. I think back and I remember absurd situations I've had to deal with in which everyone turned away even in broad daylight or otherwise tried to sweep it all under the rug so they're not inconvenienced in any way. But there have been times when people intervened and I (and we) should remember those as well. It's too easy to remember the bad and forget the good, especially when certain groups try to divide us against each other rather than unite us.
Oh, bonus! A guy grabs a waitress's butt, and like in so many movies she smacks him down...what was really great is that her male boss said that was awesome! (I know more than once I've hesitated to defend myself even verbally or ran instead of pressing charges for fears, right or wrong, that I'd--or someone close to me--would be the one targeted for retribution for upsetting the hegemony, but it's not always like that, so I loved that part of her supported by her boss.)
The Kind of Story We Need Right Now: Waitress Body Slams Groper
quote:I don’t even know how to word this because I feel like my words can’t do justice to how many women are feeling right now. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Sarah Everard and how a woman was not allowed to walk home. It’s unbearable. ⠀⠀⠀I’ve also felt a deep sense of connection between myself and other women this week. I’ve had conversations about how being hyper-conscious of our safety is just something we’ve done throughout our entire lives. The deep sense of connection is one of fear. ⠀⠀⠀We have all shared our live locations.We have all changed our shoes.We have all held our keys between our fingers.We have all made phone calls, both real and fake.We have all tucked our hair inside our coats.We have all ran down dark roads.We have all theorised our escape routes. ⠀⠀⠀What’s so insidious is that these things don’t even feel like ‘special safety tools’. They’re literally just engrained behaviours and actions we’ve had to pick up since we were little girls. Because ’that’s just the way it is.’ ⠀⠀⠀‘Text me when you get home xxx’ is a standard procedure amongst women. Auto-pilot. ⠀⠀⠀I wish more men understood the fact that we cannot walk alone at night with headphones in.That whenever we get in Ubers, there’s the lingering thought this could be it.That whenever you say ‘they’re just being friendly’, you are part of the problem.That whenever we walk past groups of men, our heart beats a little bit faster.That whenever we shout back at sexual harrassment in the street, we take yet another gamble at risking our safety. ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Stop harassing women.Stop victim-blaming women.And stop burdening women with the weight of other men’s actions. ⠀⠀⠀A woman should have been allowed to walk home.
But she use to have to take the bus at night with her mom. One day they were waiting for the bus at night and a man pulled over to attempt to abduct them. Their saving grace was she was super pregnant with my oldest uncle, and her mom was senior citizen age. Possibly in her 60's. So the guy backed off and drove away. But they were definitely grabbed first.
quote:Originally posted by teasel: [QUOTE]I don’t even know how to word this because I feel like my words can’t do justice to how many women are feeling right now. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Sarah Everard and how a woman was not allowed to walk home. It’s unbearable. ⠀⠀⠀I’ve also felt a deep sense of connection between myself and other women this week. I’ve had conversations about how being hyper-conscious of our safety is just something we’ve done throughout our entire lives. The deep sense of connection is one of fear. ⠀⠀⠀We have all shared our live locations.We have all changed our shoes.We have all held our keys between our fingers.We have all made phone calls, both real and fake.We have all tucked our hair inside our coats.We have all ran down dark roads.We have all theorised our escape routes. ⠀⠀⠀What’s so insidious is that these things don’t even feel like ‘special safety tools’. They’re literally just engrained behaviours and actions we’ve had to pick up since we were little girls. Because ’that’s just the way it is.’ ⠀⠀⠀‘Text me when you get home xxx’ is a standard procedure amongst women. Auto-pilot. ⠀⠀⠀I wish more men understood the fact that we cannot walk alone at night with headphones in.That whenever we get in Ubers, there’s the lingering thought this could be it.That whenever you say ‘they’re just being friendly’, you are part of the problem.That whenever we walk past groups of men, our heart beats a little bit faster.That whenever we shout back at sexual harrassment in the street, we take yet another gamble at risking our safety. ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Stop harassing women.Stop victim-blaming women.And stop burdening women with the weight of other men’s actions. ⠀⠀⠀A woman should have been allowed to walk home.
http://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/mar/03/incel-movement-terror-threat-canada http://amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/aug/13/plymouth-shootings-may-be-a-sign-the-incel-culture-is-spreading
And just in case anyone wants to jump in with something shoot England, and guns: http://twitter.com/ovierocks1/status/1426254985000538117?s=21
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