posted January 14, 2005 01:29 AM              

are you really from neverland?

anyway, im virgo also and i resist anything i need to do until its cruicial i get it done. no prob., most vitgos procrastinate.

posted January 14, 2005 02:00 AM              

I can totally relate to your first post. I did the acting thing for a while and did lots of stand up, etc., and though ppl told me they thought i was great, in the end it wasn't worth the anxiety i felt prepping for that moment before you go on. I always felt like i was stripped naked infront of all these people, just exposing a part of myself that was just waiting to be judged. though i loved the performance aspect i hated all the anxiety that came with it.

I also write poetry and even having to read it in front of friends fills me with such dread. I swear the pain is palable. AND i am a LEO, isn't that supposed to be the obnoxious "LOOK AT ME" sign, so must be my pisces moon. So sometime i wish i had a more public moon. Maybe cause i have lots of 12th house action. Don' know exactly but i am pretty private and tend to get really worked up when someone i don't know asks too many personal questions.

As for the boy situation- i know it's hard but (and i hate to tell you this) boys will be flakey like this for a LONG time and is not a reflection of you or your personality merely a hormonal frenzy that typically lasts until they are about 27. I am not saying this is true for all men but for most. So don't take it too heart. Remember that if you think you are precious- ppl will see that in you and treat you that way too.

posted January 14, 2005 02:16 AM              

Secondly, ladya is perfectly right. You should see yourself as the beautiful person that you are, not because of someone's opinion of you. People come and go and beauty is completely subjective depending on the observer. And you do NOT have to conform to 'trends' like straight hair to be beautiful. There are several kinds of beauty...and the most powerful and lasting kind is the one that shines from the inside. Some of the most beautiful people I know are beautiful simply because I like them so much, their smiles shine happiness and love and charisma, and not because of their features or hair.

This sag boy has obviously hurt you, but he obviously is not the right one for you either. You should move on, be a little open minded about others, and enjoy the fact that you're single and thus have unlimited opportunities. You have a life time of relationships ahead and look forward to greeting them each The first kiss is a great memory, but that's all it is. There will be many more and better kisses...and believe me, im 19 and am already divorced after an arranged marriage that was a complete nightmare. I would rather have not been in that relationship than be in the mess. And you are blessed to have a clean slate. You can have anything and anyone; if you believe in yourself. I said this before to Archer and I am saying it again to you: Confidence is sexy I am short, chubby little girl with a round face, round eyes, round lips and red red cheeks. lol. And I have been in at least four relationships, all of which have been at least somewhat a source of joy for me. The only reason I see anyone to be attracted to me at all is because I exude confidence. All my bfs have told me that to date. And that's simply the secret to being healthy mentally as well as stable and attractive.

You ARE beautiful, and if you weren't why would he have kissed you in the first place? Everyone is beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you how you look. Look at the mirror, stand up straight, and honestly tell yourself all the good things about yourself. Because we all overcriticize ourselves. When someone else sees us, they don't see the things we see , that we hate so much. They see the initial things--the beautiful eyes, the attractive smile, the great figure. And when you find that special someone that will be the right person, they will love everything about you because you are you, not because you conform to some standard pulled out of thin air, that is subject to change on a daily basis!

posted January 14, 2005 02:57 AM              

when i, as a virgo, wanted to act and couldn't quite get it together, another (now famous) virgo shared this with me when we dated. he said "dude, take an acting class..even if you don't ever act..its the best thing i ever did for my self esteem".

posted January 14, 2005 04:41 AM              

I can definitely relate to your feeling shy and self concious all to well. I am really trying to overcome this because it is holding me back from really enjoying and living my life to the fullest. I know telling you that doesn't help, but just wanted to let you know I understand you very well and that your soo not alone sweety.

I know the times that I have felt the most outgoing and confident are when I have gotten so fed up with being alone and sad and got up the courage to put myself out there and meet people with no fear. I told myself I will not be afraid of being rejected anymore, no one is better than me so if they reject me its their problem. I basically had to trick myself into thinking that I didn't care what people thought of me, though I did, just to be able to be myself. I kept comforting myself that there is nothing anyone else has that I don't and there is no reason for me to feel inadequate. Maybe this could help you too?

I agree with Ladya as well, I think you should learn to believe that you ARE beautiful and you should try not to compare yourself to the fickle beauty standards of today. And yes the people that I find the most beautiful over time are the ones who radiate love and warmth from the inside. This inner beauty just enhances every positive feature you have and attracts people to no matter what you weigh what texture your hair is. If straightening your hair would make you feel better, then invest in a straightening iron and go for it and put on some lipstick..whatever it takes, and let these aid you until you can find confidence without them. You will see just acting confident was the key all along and not the straightening iron or lipstick. And yea confidence is VERY sexy..esp to the opposite sex!

Speaking of the opposite sex.... Virgo there is absolutely nothing wrong with you for not having a boyfriend. Trust me, having a boyfriend is not everything. You'll have one soon enough and you'll see it can be nice, but not such a big deal. It def doesn't define you. You know what, having a boyfriend when your not confident in yourself can end up making you some guy's slave instead of girlfriend. If you are looking for validation from a guy, you might as well put a sticker on your forehead that says "use me and abuse me". I recommend becoming happier just being yourself before getting involved with a guy, especially one your age. They CAN def be fickle and leave you feeling worse than you started. As you can see just how fickle that sag guy is. I would recommend that you try to distance yourself from him to avoid getting hurt and hurting his girlfriend. When you do end up in a relationship you will see how crappy it feels to be cheated on and sympathize more with her, but for now think about how you would feel being his girlfriend and finding out. I honestly think he is bad news, but you must make your own decision..thats just my humble opinion. I'm 21 and they aren't even much better at this age (which is why I'm with a 25 yr old). It is nice to be in a relationship, but I think you should just remember to try to work on loving yourself before you put your confidence in a guys hands. Does that make sense to you? Whenever I've gone into a relationship without much confidence, I've ended up compromising my beliefs and left feeling worse than I started because I was so concerned with making the guy happy and not myself. In high school having boyfriends only caused me to get behind in school and please them in ways I wasn't ready for because I wasn't ready for a relationship. SO maybe not having anyone yet is a blessing in disguise for you Look at it that way.

Well sweety I hope that you can overcome your shyness with time and practice, just remember that you ARE beautiful especially when you smile and radiate from the inside I hope all of our responses help you a little. Please keep us updated as to how your doing. I look forward to getting to know more about you, sounds like we have a lot in common and can learn from each other. Well best of luck to you.

Monica

posted January 14, 2005 10:31 AM              

you obviously have deep rooted problems in acceptance of your physical self. don't let that hold you back, as what you see is not what other people see.

you said you have good features.
tell us about them.