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Author Topic:   selfishness
cancerrg
unregistered
posted October 02, 2005 05:19 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
a scorp friend when asked , what he dislikes in cancers , said - SELFISHNESS'

this is something that a cap told me too but this not so with gems and libras . sags and aries come in between .
i could add aquas in the list of caps and scorps.
so do cancers make an image that categorises them as selfish ?
on a scale of ten , how should they be placed .
does there selfishness shows overtly and how would u compare them with others in this aspect ?

everyone's invited.

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Neptune's Muse
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posted October 02, 2005 05:45 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No sad faces CANERRG!! Pleeeeeeease!

But...the truth is, maybe cancers, or most of them do not intend to come across as selfish but they often do appear so to others. I have experienced that myself with a cancer friend (Male). The MY NEED/MY MOOD/MY EMOTIONS are important and pressing and the excessive self absorption. In addition to that, the withdrawal syndrome of the cancers, they withdraw as if people's feelings are unimportant, as in people will never get upset, and they can call you back or resume contact when they want you or pretend that nothing happened and expect you to resume without ever being hurt yourself, and during that time, all your contact attempts are in vain. The fluctuation between being good friends, casual friends and suddenly very close friends? How do you call someone a friend when you don't return their calls or reply back to their messages, etc etc because you don't feel like it and your mood is more important than anything in the world? And suddenly, you emerge of the sea depths to call them back and recount your deepest darkest psychological updates?
How cancers react after that is problematic, because if you try to show them after that type of behaviour, indirectly that you are upset by being cold etc etc, they feel it but dont take action and so on and so forth.
It is exactly this type of behaviour that come across as selfish but maybe you are right, and you don't consciously do it and unaware of it!

Cheer up cancer
Peace,

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sue g
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posted October 02, 2005 05:56 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know of a cancer woman who talks of her constant need to give back to herself.......and portrays herself as very giving......but to my eyes she is one of the most self absorbed people I ever met.....

Another cancer male I know, very gentle, but again very self absorbed and rather me..me..me...he has Aries rising..so that may make a difference...(I too have that placing so understand it a little)..

The other thing I have noticed about some cancers is that they tend not to make the first move with social life and hold back a lot....I find this difficult at times.

xxx

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Lauren
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posted October 02, 2005 06:32 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Only when it comes to food. They're paranoid about people eating everything of something they like so they try to "save" food lol and hide it hehehe

It's hillarious..cause most times noone was gona eat it anyways LOL

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freebird
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posted October 02, 2005 10:13 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lauren

I kinda have to agree on it when I think about aunts and cousins who are cancer I have realized that..Ya pretty selfish about food.

I would say that cancers are kind and some are so kind that sometimes I wonder why are they the way they are but I think as the time passes and when they learn thing or two then they start getting selfish.I would say when they are naive they are kind but when they turn smart they come across selfish.

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Mystic Gemini
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posted October 02, 2005 10:30 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wierd. The cancers I know are never stingy. They will nver hesitate to give me half of there food.


I guess it depends on your chart and how you would react to them or have them react to you.

------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

*´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ * Lost in the peace of serenity
Blind my eyes I cannot see
Lost my soul but found my heart
Again a time, when I shall start

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steelrose
Knowflake

Posts: 108
From: Spain
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 02, 2005 10:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for steelrose     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Selfish? I would say no… They are born givers and would bring you the Moon if you ask for it… But they do seem to be a bit self-absorbed in a way… More in a paranoid way, inside their thick fortress… a bit self-centered… as if they were unable to see the big picture, as if they could not take harm as accidental and was always meant against them, as a complot…

They are very unforgiving… but not selfish… Sometimes that inability to move forward and that resentment may make them appear as mean but that’s only a misleading impression.

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hot_ice
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posted October 02, 2005 10:57 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yeah i have kind of noticed that,though they are nice most of the time,but you can notice that they can be *a bit* selfish at times,but when they are in a giving mood they can give you almost anythin,they will work their ass of for you....

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cancerrg
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posted October 02, 2005 12:36 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
this sums up all .

NM : i identify with what u said and i feel that gives a clue to the solution of the problem too ( to an extent)

but my problem is , ain't other people scorps , caps or aquas as selfish as us . i know scorps can be very giving but i feel they are as interseted in thier interests as us . i can say this b'cos i have been with scorps all my life . selfishness has a negative conntation .

then why was this pointed by scorp and cap not by others .

quote:
Another cancer male I know, very gentle, but again very self absorbed and rather me..me..me...he has Aries rising..so that may make a difference...(I too have that placing so understand it a little)..



I remember , you somewere said about the cancer/taurus/aries . i totally identify with that .

i always find it tough to approach people .

well , does this trait makes u feel that they are weak ?

quote:
Wierd. The cancers I know are never stingy. They will nver hesitate to give me half of there food.

I believe the cancers that u know where my kind but i know cancers that fb and lauren are talking about.

well , any solutions to the problem would be welcome. i am concerned by this b'cos i have gone out of my way to help people but then again .... the problem stays .
also this comes from people that i am very close ( ok, they said , it wasn't about me but i can guess)

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beebuddy
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posted October 02, 2005 09:58 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Crabs are like natural business people. Not selfish but SELF CENTERED. They are out for themsleves and their clan and they are probably the CEO of the clan!

But there isn't any selfishness or greed, a Cancer will always give a fair deal so long as their interests have been satisfied.

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Lauren
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posted October 02, 2005 10:11 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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risingcancer
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posted October 02, 2005 10:39 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think it all depends on the person's chart. I will use myself as an example: My sun sign is Leo(2nd house)and gathering from what I have read most people and myself included say my personality is unlike the sign,being in the 2nd house(finances) I can spend like the leo(lol)My asc is cancer and I tend to be on the quiet side until I get to know someone and as for being stingy or self centered I had many people tell me that I should think more of myself then I do. I really do think it all depends on the person's chart and the overall planetary placements.

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Tula
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posted October 02, 2005 11:53 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's always difficult for me to make sweeping generalisations about sun signs. Having known my fair share of solar Cancers, my opinion would have to fall in line with those who note a tendency toward oblivious self-absorbtion, rather than overt selfishness. The Cancerians I've known have been profoundly needy, though generally kind-hearted folks. The ones I'm referring to were in no way petty, greedy, or stingy about material possessions (or food!), but often would act as though the world revolved around them, and seemingly every one of them felt that he or she had a monopoly on the sadness and joy of the world. While Leo more often comes to mind when someone thinks "Drama Queen/King", Cancer would, in my opinion, make a strong candidate for the "Drama Prince/ss" of the astrological court!


Edited to add that although I never witnessed any weird possessiveness over food, I have observed on that subject a kind of thoughtlessness and rudeness in some Cancers. Some examples: They'll polish off every morsel in the fridge without a thought for anyone else. If when dining with a Cancer you leave a portion of your supper on your plate, and get up from the table, your food might be gone when you sit back down!

Lunar Cancers, on the other hand, are some of the most selfless people you're likely to meet. Quicker temper than their solar cousins, though!

Both the best and worst qualities of the sign seem magnified in Cancer Rising individuals, although the excitability and broodiness present in the solar and lunar Cancerian seem notably less pronounced to me. In fact, the lack of these more forceful attributes appears to considerably weaken the character, unless other factors in the chart favour emotional stability and independence.

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Mystic Gemini
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posted October 02, 2005 11:57 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I love my beautiful cancerian friends and family.

------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

*´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ * Lost in the peace of serenity
Blind my eyes I cannot see
Lost my soul but found my heart
Again a time, when I shall start

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Mystic Gemini
unregistered
posted October 03, 2005 12:02 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
being in the 2nd house(finances) I can spend like the leo


Leo in the 2nd house here. I know what you mean LOL.


I have a cancer rising also


------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

*´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ * Lost in the peace of serenity
Blind my eyes I cannot see
Lost my soul but found my heart
Again a time, when I shall start

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TheEvolution
unregistered
posted October 03, 2005 12:17 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
with no offence to cancerians and with intention of honest opinion i say...

scorpio is selfish when self centeredness goes overboard.

cancer is selfish by default.

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SecretGardenAgain
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posted October 03, 2005 01:49 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
personally...ive met some pretty selfish cancers myself...altho leos are up there too....

it doesnt have to do with dislike (i disliked ex hubby virgo too but selfish is definitely NOT a word to describe him).

in the sense of all justice i would say there are def selfish cancerians i have seen...disproportionately too...but maybe i got a bad random sample!

Love
SG

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sthenri
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posted October 03, 2005 05:14 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The Cancers I have known have been pretty thrifty, with money and food. They will share but they expect to direct where the money is going, in other words a bit controlling of others where their money is concerned.

Example: Friend of mine and I, she has a Pisces Moon, and Virgo Venus, are out to eat at a Chinese restauruant. She gets up angry, and decides we will buy groceries and eat at her house instead-the food is better.

So I wasn't really expecting it-in my budget.
She has a lot of arguments with her Scorp husband this way.

Venus in Cancer, is thrifty too, one of my b/f's had this and he wouldn't loan me $5 unless I could prove why I needed it and when I would pay it back-he was well off.

Moon in Cancer-me and others I know are very selfless with our time and money for a good cause. We are suckers for a good story-and we like to be involved-I agree on excitable and broody. We need to be that way-and when things are bad-poetry, and music make us stronger. The things that say weak to other people-say strong coming from Cancer.

There is a tendency to hang on other people, be indecisive, moody, sensitive to criticism, and suddenly selfish-if hurt. Cancers are sweet but get hurt and can turn cynical-just like Leos.

I know some sweet Leos that turned selfish and mean one day-

Natasha


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cappyme
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posted October 03, 2005 10:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappyme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think cancer's are self-absorbed but not really self- centred, as in they don't go around thinking they're the greatest people in the world (far from that), probably a bit too into themselves, and thats not bad, and it could in a strange subtle way selfish (caring about thier own problems), but I've known selfish pisceans too, anyways the cancers in my life are a blessing, I love them, there is this one cancer, I really admire her, she is so intelligent, and so caring. I remember once me and my friends were going off to the park (walking) and I was sweating a lot, and suffering from dehydration, and my best friends, they all just walk forward, on and on, and I really felt bad, cause all of my friends were walking so fast (according to me), and I couldn't keep up with them, meanwhile my cancer friend was enjoying with her friends, everyone was enjoying actually, but she looked at me and accompanied me, and she was really patient, everyone went off forward, I had to take breaks in the middle to you know calm down, and she was with me throughout, she and a leo friend, I really appreciate her for what she did, I mean she could have just gone and enjoyed with her friends but she came out and helped me, her and a leo friend . Some cancers are really caring and perceptive cause they usually go through bad experiences and can tell you something about it, but anyways I kind of think my scorpian friends are the most perceptive. my cancer friend is still the same, cheering everyone up when they're down, talking to the most lonely and rejected person and treating her with respect. She is a true blessing . I really hope I'm more like her when I grow up, I really need to stop thinking about myself and my problems and pitying myself sometimes, need to be a bit more humble. Cancer men I know are really funny and kind of crazy! and selfish-hmm really don't know.. and I've known cancers I'm not a big fan of too .
Sorry for ranting about my cancer friends greatness (she deserves more) but anyways
Godbless!

------------------
Life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.

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celticfyre
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posted October 03, 2005 11:58 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Neptune--you rdescription for the Cancer withdrawal syndrome is so on the money...my cancer boy is just like that!...tho I know it sounds like excuses but I know for a fact he has been busy at work (REALLY SWAMPED) with new responsiblities etc and now that he has his daughter home (She's going to be 12 in a couple of weeks) his focus is on her... He seems to get self absorbed in the stuff he needs to do rather than him self. He puts so much energy into it that he often winds up just crashing and falling asleep or jsut zoing out at home...so I know he's not off running about, partying, out with other women etc so that isn't it. Problem is he is like myself a martyr to the cause what ever the cause may be...it just isn't our relationship now... I known he has a tenedency to feel guilty when he can't devote the time to me and he told me early on how it would be and he is right and he doesn't want to be unfair to me or hurt me etc and despite this I took on his challenge..in fact my exact words were I am willing to take you on if you are willing to let me and he agreed so....What the hell is my problem???? That I basically don't know how to act...I have received lots of good advice form a lot of caring people here and I tried to follow it. But the disappearing act just makes me crazy...if cancers are that needy and clingy then why isn't he I would love it if he were... i would certainly feel more secure. mY other problem is now how to react to this whole thing...i've been told not to act cold or aloof (which would be my natural tendency to do so) should i just be cheerful and understanding as if nothing has happened, or a combination of being direct and honest and tell him yeah i understand but it still ****** me off.....I don't know.

------------------
ML

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MoonDuchess88
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posted October 03, 2005 03:42 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok, as a cancer, I agree with what some of you are saying to a point though. But I also want to defend my sign. Cause like to point out that the majority of people in my everyday life who accuse me of being emotionally selfish for withdrawing are the same ones who drain me with their problems all the time. I withdraw because I need them, they're convieniently never there. I need some time to myself too, my life can't revolve around them 24/7, I have work, school, and other things to take care of (including myself). And then I can go back to other people!

*edit* Im sorry, just having a bad day...

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celticfyre
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posted October 03, 2005 04:12 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Duchess,

It's okay, I understand. You Cancers are so giving of yourself that you do need time to recharge yourself. I have to do that too. We Scopio's often find ourselves help others as well and it can be draining. as the moon gets fuller you should start to feel better

------------------
ML

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alanabelle86
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Posts: 40
From: Somewhere over the rainbow
Registered: May 2009

posted October 03, 2005 04:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alanabelle86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thats funny.... my best friend is a Cancer and she's ridiculously selfish towrds her brothers and sisters...and bossy at that...but with everyone else, she's so generous it's amazing...could be because shes got her asc/merc/venus in leo as well ...shes very me me me

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MoonDuchess88
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posted October 03, 2005 05:00 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah, again I was having a bad day....sorry about that. My sag friend has been calling me once again about problems with her guy. I was annoyed because even when I do give her the advice, she NEVER listens to me and ends up in the same place. So naturally I was like arrrrggghhh when I saw this thread. Ive cooled down now , thanks Celtic.
But not to bring up your Cancer man again, but when I mentioned that stuff in the above thread I didn't mean romantic partners because I feel that when you're in a romantic partnership with somebody you do have an OBLIGATION not to dissapear on them for such and such days, and be more straight foward with them. People can call me possesive all they want but that's how I feel. Same thing goes for close family members and friends who are like family-not the acquiantances I mentioned in my above post.

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Neptune's Muse
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posted October 04, 2005 06:06 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
MoonDuchess, it is ok!

I am not a Cancer, and I do the withdrawal with no COMING BACK thing when I feel the person is just draining me -- pure selfishness from their part. It's all about their problems, you listening and offering sympathy, so it's the disappearing act. I don't think in this case that I have to give an explanation even, and I know what you mean. Draining people are HORRIBLE.

But the thing we were talking about is disappearing without causes...Celtic mentioned reasons as being immersed in work, etc, but it hurts, we all have to find time for the ones we love, and especially close ones, Cancers are uber-sensitive when it comes to being ignored emotionally but they do it, (unintentionally?) to people.

Cancerrg, where did you disappear?!
Now the cancers all went hiding...hmmm

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