posted August 22, 2005 05:59 AM              

I want to ask u guys something...

Some people are very talktative, some people are very quiet, some people are both.

I'm one of the people who are both.

Now, sometimes when somebody is talking to me, I can become quiet, and not feel the need to say much, because I've already given my input and don't think it's necessary to say much more.
My silence during conversations makes people talking to me, believe I'm "hurt" or "angry" whatever, which I really am not! What really confuses me is, why do people think that?!

The other day for instance, my mother(who is very talktative, lib/tau/sag) was asking me to run an errand for her, and the only comment I got into that conversation was "ok", because she talks talks and talks, and I just listen. After the conversation she asked me something like "are u ok?", and me, kinda confused over that question said "yes I'm ok.."

I asked her later why she so often thinks that I'm hurt, upset etc, and she told me that I just look very sensitive lol, which I'm not lol!(Ok I'm sensitive, but not über-sensitive)

At the moment I have a GIANT ZIT on my nose lol ! and my friends keep mentioning it, and I get silent, because I don't get hurt over their comments(if I got hurt I'd try to defend myself), and I also think it's a waste of energy to defend myself over such a petty little thing, I think it's normal for them to comment on it, but some of my friends think that I DO get hurt and tell the other friends to "back off" "stop it" etc, just because I get silent! I don't understand why this silence is misunderstood for me being hurt..

The reason for my silence is, that sometimes I think it's without purpose and a waste of energy to comment.

here's my chart, plz give me some insight as to why ppl misunderstand me:

planet sign degree house motion
Sun Cancer 27°51'05 10 direct
Moon Libra 08°38'22 01 direct
Mercury Cancer 12°57'14 10 direct
Venus Gemini 18°11'02 09 direct
Mars Aries 02°52'15 07 direct
Jupiter Taurus 29°43'05 09 direct
Saturn Sagittarius 27°12'07 04 retrograde
Uranus Sagittarius 27°53'56 04 retrograde
Neptune Capricorn 08°17'12 04 retrograde
Pluto Scorpio 09°45'33 02 stationary (D)
True Node Pisces 15°02'13 06 direct

posted August 22, 2005 01:58 PM              

quote:

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oh and well , i feel virgos simply go silent if they are told of thier mistakes .

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They don't go quiet. They're just ignoring you.

I'm Virgo rising, but with a lot of air (think flakey, easily bored, easily distracted). Often times if someone points out a mistake I've made, it's not that I don't want to hear it - I'm simply not paying attention. LOL. I hate making mistake, but I am far more anxious over a mistake I've made that I *know* I've made and that no one else has caught yet. Then I'm in this race against myself and time to fix it or accept blame for it before someone sees it and thinks I'm an idiot.

If someone corrects me, I often feel relieved, actually. I would prefer they tell me than just assume I'm stupid. If they correct me, and they're right, I feel they're respecting me.

posted August 22, 2005 02:11 PM              

quote:

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The reason for my silence is, that sometimes I think it's without purpose and a waste of energy to comment.

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That's very Virgoan - for this Mercurial sign, communciation should be purposeful, informative and ecomonical - it seems almost the opposite of Gemini's "talk for talking's sake" reputation. To Virgo, if there's nothing to say, then there's nothing to say.

Moreover, beause Virgo is concerned about correctness and accuracy, it will not speak if it doesn't know how to respond. If a Virgoan doesn't understand a situation or a question, they're naturally incline to wihdraw and ponder it, seeking an answer, rather than to say "I'm not sure I understand" "Could you explain that better" etc. A Virgoan tends to assume if they don't understand, they're at fault and so they need to resolve it.

posted August 22, 2005 02:35 PM              

quote:

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quote:
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oh and well , i feel virgos simply go silent if they are told of thier mistakes .
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They don't go quiet. They're just ignoring you.

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that literally means , they have to be silent for that . specially in front of nagging cancers ,lololololol

ok, what in case , someone caughts u , not necessarilly corrects . what's a virgos raction in that case? ingeneral.

i hope virgos read ur second post , i'll ask my bro to read this . but its too difficult to convince them if they dont want to do something . its not like us cancers , are virgos good listeners ?the patient one.

posted August 22, 2005 02:36 PM              

i feel the same - it's a waste of energy, to me as far as what i deem as "petty" or just someone venting, like I do, but sometimes i'll ramble on about stuff (mostly need-to-know information / technical, educational stuff) and then just get silent ???? *crickets*. like a balloon being blown up and then - *pop* sssssssssssss - also, notice what happens when you let go of a blown-up balloon that has not popped - what happens? i do that too.

posted August 22, 2005 03:12 PM              

Cancerrg:

quote:

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oh and well , i feel virgos simply go silent if they are told of thier mistakes .
i dont think it applies to u but in general...

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True, that doesn't apply to me, because I usually comment when a mistake has been pointed out about me, either I argue or agree, but don't go silent on that, it's more when I feel the talking is useless rambling that I go quiet, but I always find it healthy to comment on mistakes pointed out abt myself, as I can learn something abt myself.

quote:

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hi thosa,
Its a mutable sign quality (Gemini, Virgo, Sag, Pisces)
This is because mutable has 2 distinct sides to its personality.

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Oh yeah, I never thought about that, so this means all mutual signs are part talk, part non-talk?

thirteen:

quote:

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My husb. is like this and it does bother me. I need feedback when I am conversing with him. I need to know where he stands on the matter. I need him to clarify his perspective so I can continue to converse, change the topic or stop conversing altogether. I read in a self help book somewhere when a person hears nothing they will always take it to be a negative.

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Same thing with my mother fx, and when I don't give her much of a reply, she'll just continue rambling lol, and no what that self help book said was wrong, silence does not always mean negative emotions.

Gemini Nymph:

quote:

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That's very Virgoan - for this Mercurial sign, communciation should be purposeful, informative and ecomonical - it seems almost the opposite of Gemini's "talk for talking's sake" reputation. To Virgo, if there's nothing to say, then there's nothing to say.

Moreover, beause Virgo is concerned about correctness and accuracy, it will not speak if it doesn't know how to respond. If a Virgoan doesn't understand a situation or a question, they're naturally incline to wihdraw and ponder it, seeking an answer, rather than to say "I'm not sure I understand" "Could you explain that better" etc. A Virgoan tends to assume if they don't understand, they're at fault and so they need to resolve it.

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Good point.

amisha:

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i do this often as well - i have saturn in virgo in the 1st house but i have a leo rising but i also have a capricornian mercury? wtf????
i feel the same - it's a waste of energy, to me as far as what i deem as "petty" or just someone venting, like I do, but sometimes i'll ramble on about stuff (mostly need-to-know information / technical, educational stuff) and then just get silent ???? *crickets*. like a balloon being blown up and then - *pop* sssssssssssss - also, notice what happens when you let go of a blown-up balloon that has not popped - what happens? i do that too.

only thing is, if i am quiet in the midst of a conversation - i may tend to forget what was talked about - maybe bits and pieces will pop back up but.............i will most likely feel what was said much deeper which is why i remember phrases more than the conversation itself - yeah, school was fun. lots of daydreaming and paraphrasing, i did. as i get older - it's becoming increasingly more apparent that I do this since I’m a pretty quiet individual.

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Heh, kinda surprised to read abt u being a quiet person, since ur big three(sun, moon, asc) are all fire signs(am I right?).

anyway, thanks for all ur answers ppl

posted August 22, 2005 04:13 PM              

i think saturn in 1st and mercury in cappy with my ever so "cooperative" mars in 12th are the culprits. i especially think it's the saturn in virgo in the 1st. i just come across as stern and contemplative - sometimes i hate the bugger. in close quarters (whatever that means) i'm not quiet but i'm lacking in the conversation department on the emotional tip. very austere and cold. i do these a lot too which is a hinderance on a personal tip:

person
"your friend is just a bundle of joy. where did you meet them? there is a sale too, wanna come?"

me
"my friend? i'm sorry, i didn't catch that, my friend is what?"

person
"never mind"

posted August 23, 2005 01:54 AM            

I started intentionally being quiet when I was younger, because I found out I was annoying people with my every opinion. Then I learned that silence served a great number of purposes.

- You learn more, because you're listening more
- You're not encouraging further conversation by those who are overly talkative
- You seem more mature (mostly as a teenager)
- You are less likely to betray yourself and your motives
- You seem mysterious, and sometimes wise
- People pay more attention when you do have something to say

Those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

No one ever asks me if everything's alright, though. I guess everyone's just used to my mannerisms by now.

posted August 23, 2005 12:48 PM              

quote:

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I started intentionally being quiet when I was younger, because I found out I was annoying people with my every opinion. Then I learned that silence served a great number of purposes.

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That is quite amazing, AG!! It's unusually that someone is able to consciously redirect his own behavior, especially at a young age.

posted August 23, 2005 10:39 PM            

Now I know that Saturn is the only planet in the first part of my life. There's Saturn in the 1st in Gemini, and then nothing til the 5th house. I think that means that Saturn had it's way with my early life.

Also, Capricorns are known to want the approval of others, so it was a move that made sense at the time, and was later reinforced when I learned as a senior in high school that a female friend of mine still wouldn't sing around me because of comments I made in the 7th or 8th grade. I was astounded that my voiced opinion could carry that much weight with someone. Yikes! I'm glad I changed.

I'm a Cap with a Sag stellium, so I perhaps I'm prone to tactlessness. Course there's no water in my family either, so there wasn't really an example of tact to follow (3 ARies, 2 Leos, and an Aqua). Now I mostly keep my comments to myself or quietly tell them to a co-conspirator who understands I don't mean any harm by my comments. I'm very seldom in a person's face about what I think of them, or what they're wearing, or what they're doing incredibly stupidly... Ok, sometimes I can't help but say something about doing things the wrong way, but it depends on whether or not I feel like being mean.

posted August 23, 2005 10:39 PM            

I find out all I want about a person by observing and listening, and usually their motives and how they operate instead of it being the other way around. I tend to be cautious and have a sense of others' motives anyways, an intuitive sixth sense that comes naturally and also because of my Merc in Scorpio - I am a natural detective...