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Author Topic:   Aqua's And GRUDGES
Mama Mia
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posted August 25, 2005 01:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ohhh they make me sick with this...

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Battle of Evermore
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posted August 25, 2005 01:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Battle of Evermore     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Indeed...

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Gemini Nymph
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posted August 25, 2005 01:22 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LOLOLOL. Speaking as an Aqua-Mars, the thing is we have to be right, and if we can't be right, Aqua's fixed nature makes it a VERY hard time for us to let the issue go. Aqua endows us with a great mind and a lot of intelligence but not necessarily the wisdom and humility to exercise those gifts wisely.

If there's a brooding Aqua in your life, give them their space and let 'em brood til their little, hyperrational Uranian hearts are content. At some point, most of them arrive to the logical conclusion they're being idiots and just need to drop their petty grudges all on thier own.

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Battle of Evermore
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posted August 25, 2005 01:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Battle of Evermore     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Jeez... I don't know about that logical conclusion thing GN. I think they like it.

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Mama Mia
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posted August 25, 2005 01:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I undestand I have a tone of Aqua in my chart but this is ridiculous..Gemini Nymph I asked you the other day about advice as to how to handle this grudge holding ex Aqua of mine. I mean we broke up back in January and yes I said somethings that hurt him but I only said those things out of hurt and disappointment myself..

We went all winter and speing not speaking him basically, rolling his eyes and the bad body language.. It bothered me so that I text him on several occassions to let him know that I am over what he did and I wish him well with the decision he made. I tried really hard to be his friend. Still the cold shoulder is all I got.. So class ended in the end of June and two and a half months had gone by since we have seen each other.

Last night the gym opened back up for us and we were the first two there. I got there and he ws sweeping the gym in the dark I walked in and said very pleasantly hi and he gave me the a real dry hi and turned his head it appeared as if it hurt him to speak. As I walked out the gym he could not keep his eyes off me.

Anyway as I got ready to leave I walked back through the gym to the lot and they were still shooting ball and I hear him say to another guy there she go and the other guy says I see her and I thought oh this is so 7th grade. I mean what is the problem let this go why are you still holding a grudge you wanted to go in another direction..

My Pisces senses figured it all out though.. He is still dealing with his feelings for me and holding the grudge keeps them pushed down. He really wishes that I would not come back to the gym it would be so much easier on him. Oh well I enjoy what I do maybe he should go somewhere else..I am so glad tht I am intouch with my feelings and I do not hold grudges..

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sthenri
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posted August 25, 2005 07:19 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mama Mia, this is just a thought and I certainly do not think you should change your lifestyle for anyone, but maybe you are telling your Aqua that you are happy he is out of your life by being pleasant, instead of dry?

From his point of view, if he was sensitive at all, he may believe you are laughing at his pride and at his decision. Because it was his decision that broke you up, and when a man has made a decision to leave, which is rare, he is alway afraid of being laughed at or making the wrong move.

If he ever does make a move, he wants validation to prove he is right, and if he doesn't get it at home, then he wants it all around. By being happy and pleasant you are actually saying, I am happy without you, and I am better off this way.
That would make him feel a little jealous, plus being curt with him would seem like more attention because you're nice to everyone.

Anyway that's how I see it, I too had a relationship with an air man, that ended the same time, I said hurtful things, he's with someone else who pressured to commit. He has moon and venus trine uranus. What's weird is that he is the same, in that when I ran into him and acted pleasant he was curt and dry. When I was dry, he was pushy and wanted more of a reaction.

He was afraid that when I was pleasant I was setting him up for a vindictive remark, but when I was curt he showed him I had given up on wanting to hurt him, that is no passion.

Part of my problem is that I am very passionate and whenever I would get that way it would scare him off.

your pisces nature probably is passionate too, and your aqua is watching and sensitive to any kind of mood. he's waiting for when you are dry and detached like him to approach.

I am normally very nice too and so it took effort to be dry. I listened to a pisces male who told me what to do, don't give any attention, act very dry, talk to others. right way he'll talk to you. I was shocked it worked, I thought I had to change my life, or apologize and all I had to do was ignore him. This works for me, I would rather do that than wave a flag, or write a letter.

give it a try,

This approach does not work with the aqua I am going steady with now, as he has venus in pisces, a leo moon, and a bunch of planets in the 12th right now. He hates being ignored for any reason and loves attention. he also is very focused on one women which I like.

It takes real maturity to approach someone who isn't like you, it's easier if someone shows signs of similarity in thinking, or mood. For me I find it hard to be less passionate.

Take care,
Natasha

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LeylaLeFay
unregistered
posted August 26, 2005 12:52 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! NEVER NEVER NEVER!

Heh. lol :P

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Mama Mia
Knowflake

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posted August 26, 2005 09:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ooooooohhhhhhh LOL!!!!! Sthenri you are the bomb girl. Infact I was going to page you some time today and get some advice from you seeing that you have had alot of experience with Aqua men..

Actually you are right bc I remember in the gym like almost at the end I had gotten so exhausted from his negative energy that I began to tune him out all the way . And you know what he started talking loud behind my back and saying lil things that were directed to me but indirectly to get my attention. He began to stare at me more and more and one day I was running in the gym and I caught him peeking around this cutain at me and I was so shocked all this was bc I was ignoring him..

But I am really ok with him out of my life I am not really happy but I am ok. IT is my Pisces nature to be nice and friendly to
ppl. And personally it hurts to be mean. I just thought after 2 1/2 months with out seeing each other that he would drop that grudge and get on with life. He decided to
to chose someone else but some how he is trying to dump that bad decision on me, which is not at all going to happen.

I know that he is dealing or trying to deal with his feelings for me and he had no idea that I would still continue to be in his mind and maybe in his heart after all this time. He is highly attracted to me I KNOW THIS!!! It is one of those things where he loses focus all around when he see's me but know's how to play it off..

So thankyou for that info and I will do that not just for results but I need to bc I am real sensetive to ppl's moods and and feeligs, and so is he all though he was acting so mean he never took his eyes off of me and that is bc he was doing that lil Aqua studying ppl thing which is what he does.. Thanks again Sthenri...

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Mama Mia
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posted August 26, 2005 10:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh and I was thinking just what you advise me to do is what he has been doing to me all the time..Aqua men are so damn backwards. He really is telling me that he is not happy..Bc when you are happy with someone it shows. In the beginning when we started dating and even as time went on you could see it even the other guys saw it in the gym and so did my girlfrieds one of my girls said he so smitten with you..So to see that in an Aqua guy is something..

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Mama Mia
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posted September 01, 2005 12:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bumpty bump bump...

First of all I was reading soemthing and felt someone else could benefit from this.

Second this is for Sthenri, Well it not take long get results form your plan. I was told by one of his best friends the entire deal with the grudge thing and all. I asked his best friend why does he have a grudge with me he made the decision to do what he did. He said it like this he is not holding a grudge against you. He was like he KNOWS that he made a bad decision and he F*cked up and he just does not know how to come to you. (inabilty to express his feelings) and so that is why he acts that way. So I have ran into him twice in the last week and I just ignored him turned my head and did not even speak..

Here is the killing part, I saw him at the gym last night and it is weird how instantly can feel his energy when I enter the gym or when he enters the gym. There is this other guy that has gotten my attention and I have spoken about him b4 and he is the guy that I spoke about on the forum that I was not so aggressive with. Anyway we saw each other in the gym last night too and he instanly came up to me and gave me the biggest hug and was blushing so and so was I. Ex-Aqua was standing there taking it all in and I could see where the steam was coming out his ears. He was so jealous, plus his boy told he was jealous b4 all this cause he thought we were talking..Aqau men are a trip you gotta learn how to handle them..

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ariestiger
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posted September 01, 2005 04:28 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Forgive me for laughing...if I try to give my Aqua a hug he says "Now, now. Control yourself" or "Get OFF me! What's all this for?!" whereas if I tell him to bugger off, he laughs, as if he enjoys it (!!!) and is all over me.

The nicer I am, the nastier he is, and vice versa. Simple, really.

Oh, and regarding grudges...he remembers EVERYTHING I say.

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cancerrg
unregistered
posted September 02, 2005 02:13 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
sthneri , do u think this approach would work well with caps and gems ?

ok, not in a romantic realtion but if we are just friends .


are aquas real grudge holders , i always thought we wtaer people were infamous for this , what about the revenge part ?

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Mama Mia
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posted September 02, 2005 05:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Cancerrg: Cancers and Scorps hold grudges not Pisces unless we have heavy Scorp or Cancer influence.. Yes Aqua's can hold grudges to the highest height...Their grudges are mostly passion grudges as the one that I was having held against me by a certain Aqua...

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cancerrg
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posted September 03, 2005 06:38 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Any idea about caps , leos and gems? even in simple realtions .

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LILYGIRL
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posted September 03, 2005 08:50 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am a Gemini, and I absolutely despise people who hold grudges, but this might also be the Sag and Aries in my chart. I was also raised in a household where virtually all memebers got angry, stated their case and that evening or by the next day, you had moved on. I am very much this way with my spouse and children. A 45 second firecracker but for Godssake let's get on with it. Or as Morgan Freeman says in Shawshank Redemption-- "Get busy living or get busy dying." The grudge to me reflects a slow wretched death--not between you and the "grudged" but between you and your own soul.

As a Gemini, I tend to fly or float away eventually from many people. If I get really hurt, betrayed or emotionally obliterated by someone, I pretty much without much forethought reduce then sometimes cease communicating. I also do this too if someone is simply too overpowering or negative.

I think this makes sense for me as my words, letters and speech often define how crazy I am for someone. It takes alot of emotional energy for me to be as communicative as I can be (and an often unmet need to rest and recharge). But in my head the person sort of dissolves. I will be cordial and communicate if approached but not reach out directly.

The whole grudge thing for me implies expending very negative invisible energy on a case you probably already made over and over again.You've made your point; the other his (her). There is no wavering on either side. The grudge therefore is for cementing the negative. It has a heavy weightiness that I find unappealing; it's time consuming and draining.


PS: My Gemini mother in law who is a sweetheart holds grudges big time. But I think she has an Aqua Moon. My Gemini sister who I adore more than anyone in the entire world, does not hold a grudge per se but she can get and stay angry and hurt inside her head for extended periods of time. Plus with the gemini she has to yak it out, parse and mince an danalyze it twenty ways to Sunday to get it out of her system--Yet, she has a Cancer moon. Once again I think the configuration of the Venus, Mars, Moon and Sun will significantly impact the "grudge propensity."

PSS My Aqua sister can cut you into tiny pieces with her tongue and will hold a fierce grudge but under the pretense of an airy "I don't care; I want my privacy...blah blah." My Aqua love of 8 years never held a grudge against me but the privacy and detachment demands Aquas exact on the average sensitive human being can seem like a severe grudge against you and your heart. .... ROFLMAO.

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sthenri
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posted September 03, 2005 09:59 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes this is generalizing, but an air sign even with other influences is still air and so different from Taurus. My brother is an Aqua, and my sister has a 3rd house moon and 11th house Venus, and even with much earth in their charts they are quick to anger, and quick to forget certain things only.

It gets to the point where every verbal communication from me has to be planned. I will go to my sisters house and there will be burn mark on her carpet which drives her nuts. She will talk about it for an hour and then do nothing. Still she will remember it. It drives me nuts but I can't say anything. Then I or her Scorpio husband will one day rip the piece of carpet out and replace it and she will be happy.

And she will talk about it even when its' replaced and talk about how she fixed it:> I have argued with her and she will never forgive me if I were to win an argument.

Air signs can hurt when they gossip, or discourage, and it hurts themselves too because, communicating does take energy.

I believe this is because air signs are not very energetic, or waste their energy, and need to save their energy for significant events and people very close by. If something or someone sucks away energy, it's an irritant. Taurus people are naturally overpowering and so always get attention, it takes a very sensitive Taurus and stable Gemini to be friends.

The one Gemini I used to know well still speaks badly of me as often as possible to get attention, and encourage me to leave town, and always will, because he thinks his friends sympathize with me too much.

Aquas are very angry but it's rarely as hidden or rationalized. I can tell when an Aqua is angry quickly and if I care can defuse it. It's when it's past the point that it gets ugly, because it takes so much time to get the Aqua in a space to talk about his or her feelings again. If I feel anyone is taking up too much time in my life to need hand holding I don't care what it's called I get space for myself.

Taurus and Cancer people don't seem to hold grudges that they hold over you, they just freeze up and spent more time on other activities, or family. The more a person's social life is threatened, the more dangerous the grudge is.

If it's something you said to an Aquas family member it's better than something said to a friend.

In my case I happen to know the Aqua who is angry at me has two friends of his, another Aqua and a Gemini who are both on my side. So I am waiting for those two to convince him before I call.

Capricorns are very similar to Aquas in that they are very proud and need to be defused right away, it's better to admit you are wrong and accept the explanation as to why right away.
Cancers and Caps are a little better in that if you get one alone and kiss, things work out:>

Again if a Cancer or Cap gets kissed and it doesn't feel like you are all there it has the opposite effect. I have to decide tonight whether or not I will continue my friendship with a certain Cancer male who I have dated in the past but he has made up his mind he wants kissing tonight or no go.

Okay I edited my post to generalize less but I may have done this. I apologize to air signs, but air has certain tendencies and I have to remember what they are to keep from arguing with my air sign friends.

Natasha
Taurus

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LILYGIRL
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posted September 03, 2005 10:16 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Uh... I am pretty sure OJ was (ooops IS) a stone cold Cancer (July). Nicole was a Taurus??

Also he had a ton sloshing loads of water in his chart (pisces cancer stuff). I will have to look it up.

On grudges, like I said I would check out the rest of the chart. A Sun is going to just show a peek, be it Aqua, Cap or Gemini. When I check out, I check out. Energy and all. I don't have that much experience with folks being vindictive or being that way (I hope not at any rate) but it would be cool to hear what other signs think about grudges and whether they keep them, hold them...

Though that thing about hanging up on the phone seems extremely juvenile---very high school. My apologies to you. LOL.

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sthenri
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posted September 03, 2005 08:35 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't worry about it, I don't think my post made complete sense anyway, as I am trying to juggle too many people this week and it shows.

Actually I love Aquas and everything they put me even if I won't admit it.

Mama Mia, have fun with the new guy:>

Natasha

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SecretGardenAgain
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posted September 03, 2005 09:10 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
a lot of female frustration from air men comes from their being so darn attractive (emotionally, mentally) and at the same time so impossible to understand. they are the only men in the zodiac who i have dated who have not tried to control my actions. they would rather **** you off by being themselves. but having a scorp stellium house no. 2 a man trying to control me is a big no no. fire men will do this, so will earth and water men are infamous for it.

so its these mysterious, sexy creatures that pique our interest, then its difficult to tell ourselves that they are not good for us, they are addictive like junk food and about as bad for us in emotional/understanding terms as it too.

nonetheless that doesnt take away from the fact that they are great conversationalists, intelligent, friendly and downright SEXY.

>>any questions? check out the post in MM's libra thread.

Love
SG

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cancerrg
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posted September 04, 2005 03:24 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
gemini : the grudge logic is really good , i liked it . infact it was refreshing , a new way of thinking . thanks.

sthneri: i feel u are right about the caps and cancers being kissed and helping them forget .
i can't say about ( thats why i was asking u ) caps but cancers don't really forget , they have just let it go for the moment , if the peerson repeats the mistake , the grudge infact increases .
do u think its the same with caps and taurus ?

sg:ever dated a libra ?

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sthenri
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posted September 04, 2005 12:35 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Geminis and Saggies are quick to anger and quick to forgive if nothing is said. I grew up with a Sag/3rd house moon and she is pretty much a firecracker, with a long memory for things I made her do, usually these things come up during dinner and drinks. Maybe because of her Taurus moon, and Venus in Capricorn.

I don't know but I try to stay away from actually holding grudges, but I do have some.

I think Cancers like reassurance that the grudge is really over, and my Cancer friend likes to be told sorry and at the same time what a great person he is, I give praise often.

Luckily this Cancer isn't much of a firecracker, Libra mars, taurus moon.

Natasha

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alanabelle86
Knowflake

Posts: 40
From: Somewhere over the rainbow
Registered: May 2009

posted September 05, 2005 08:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alanabelle86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh boy lets talk about grudges...

i've got my sun/merc/venus/pluto all in scorpio....MOON in leo, and MARS in aquarius..

ive got one working on 15 years...:embarrassed:

------------------
Libra Rising, Scorpio Sun, Leo Moon

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cancerrg
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posted September 06, 2005 11:13 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

me too , mine are twenty years old too !

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MAGUS of MUSIC
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posted September 06, 2005 11:19 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just when I feel Air and Aqau guys arent getting a fare representation,

Secret Garden swings by to show a more complimenting image and side of us.

Sincerly thanks again SGA

From now on your my first choice for a devils advocate !

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cancerrg
unregistered
posted September 06, 2005 11:45 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
when she is your advocate , we are sure to loose our case !

water advocates neeeded!


hey , i put this to sg , i am putting it here too , where does the flighty nature of air comes from, i mean how do u justify it ? just wanted to understand the psychological aspect of it .

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