posted June 03, 2007 11:56 AM              

Afetr my father walking out on my mother to be with another woman, my mother and I went to live with her parents. My mother had no coping skills with life, so I was left at my grandparents most of the time. It seemed that her desire to be a parent died and never returned. Men seemed to take top priority with my mother and was never there when I needed her the most. Alone and upset, my grandparents reached out and I reached back to them. The bond formed and they became my parents - I don't know what I would have ever done without them, cause they were my saving grace.

A few months later, my mother found an apartment and I had to move with her. I didn't want that and I spent many many nights crying in my bed at night. I wanted so bad to be with my folks. My mother would become greatly enraged and would punish me for ever showing emotion or crying. (I used to wonder why I have anxiety issues and repress my emotions).

In my "8 year old mind" at the time, I left "home" when I was 8 and had to start living in the real world, where I was NEVER allowed to be a child. I was ripped away from "my family" (Maternal grandparents) was was sentenced to a life of sheer hell (Had to go live with my mother) out of my control. I was forced to live a life that I didn't want. I was forced to be with people (Evil stepfather and his 4 kids - that I was forced to raise) who I didn't want to be around.

My mother's husband is her enabler. (He takes care of everything and she doesn't have to be reposnible for anything) Since the start he has hated my mother's children and I figure if it was a legal thing back then - he would have murdered both my brother and I in a heart beat. He now has most of the control in my mother's life and she totally accepts it.

They banned me from "my home" several times and took away my supports. I fought so hard to leave but was forced to remain until 18 - then I was kicked out and told never to return. I figure my mother was after the child support payments/baby bonus.

What resulted is that I hate my biological mother - the one who stepped up to the plate but never took any responsiblity for anything. Today, I will have nothing to do with my biological mother and "her family". It took me 27 year years to leave them and now I have.

What would indicate this in a chart? In natal, progressions or transits? Just a guess though.......Many thanx!

posted June 03, 2007 12:13 PM            

My brother and I were raised in a similar situation, my grandparents became my surrogate parents and I still think of them like that! Tho, my mother and I have always had a relationship of sorts, I never really warmed up to her much....

I have had to go back and re-raise that little girl who was emotionally abused, more than once and I think it is an ongoing process. I figure if my mother lacked in parenting skills and did not know what to do with a trippy little Pisces girl, then I do and I can raise her better anyway!

I will ponder what may be in my chart to lend oneself to the similar upbringings we share. I have a 6th house moon in Taurus oppo my Scorp asc, square my stellium of Mars, Merc and Jupiter in Aqua in the 3rd that opposes Uranus---hmmmm maybe the moon square Uranus has something to do with it.......

posted June 03, 2007 02:35 PM              

At around 7 years or so Saturn (duty, also restriction) squares its own place and any other planets which happen to be nearby. This gives us our first "taste" of personal responsibility. For some people with difficult Saturn issues indicated in their chart it can indicate a problem with the "authority" figures in their life.

Guessing,

posted June 04, 2007 12:09 AM              

Saturn sextiles the moon and Neptune trines the moon. Mercury squares the moon. Venus in square both Jupiter & Neptune. Ruler of the 4th is badly afflicted.

I'm REALLY NOT SURE where my pluto is located - but with the transits I'm going through - it's right in the 4th house. My "home" life growing up was a sentence
in hell.

Could somebody look at the transits for Dec 24/79, Oct 1/83 Calgary and see if it fit my description? Thanks.

Right now I am feeling the energy of Pluto - on a small dose. Part of my unconsciousness/subconsciousness has ben blown partly open and the "underground"stuff is starting to leak out. There is 27 years of buried hurt emotions that have not thawed out. It seems frozen in time and it's slowly thawing. I am slowly crawling up a mountain and I have no idea the intensity of pluto is like.

Early 1980, my nightmare started.....

Natal/Transit, currently I have 2 HEAVY hitters at bat.

Here are my planet info

Planetary positions
planet sign degree motion
Sun Aries 13°15'06 in house 11 direct
Moon Cancer 24°50'58 end of house 2 direct
Mercury Taurus 1°40'57 in house 12 direct
Venus Pisces 6°03'13 in house 10 direct
Mars Capricorn 13°14'49 in house 8 direct
Jupiter Sagittarius 6°15'38 in house 6 retrograde
Saturn Taurus 20°31'02 in house 12 direct
Uranus Libra 11°27'27 in house 5 retrograde
Neptune Sagittarius 2°50'55 in house 6 retrograde
Pluto Virgo 27°57'57 in house 5 retrograde
True Node Aquarius 22°24'42 in house 10 direct
Planets at the end of a house are interpreted in the next house.

House positions (Placidus)Ascendant Gemini 19°54'56
2nd House Cancer 7°54'13
3rd House Cancer 24°51'03
Imum Coeli Leo 14°46'51
5th House Virgo 13°10'48
6th House Libra 28°29'28
Descendant Sagittarius 19°54'56
8th House Capricorn 7°54'13
9th House Capricorn 24°51'03
Medium Coeli Aquarius 14°46'51
11th House Pisces 13°10'48
12th House Aries 28°29'28

Major aspects
Sun Square Mars 0°00
Sun Trine Jupiter 6°59
Sun Opposition Uranus 1°48
Sun Sextile Ascendant 6°40
Moon Square Mercury 6°50
Moon Sextile Saturn 4°20
Moon Trine Neptune 8°00
Moon Sextile Pluto 3°07
Mercury Sextile Venus 4°22
Mercury Quincunx Neptune 1°10
Venus Square Jupiter 0°12
Venus Square Neptune 3°12
Mars Square Uranus 1°47
Jupiter Sextile Uranus 5°12
Jupiter Conjunction Neptune 3°25
Neptune Sextile Pluto 4°53

Many thanx ((((HUGS))))