posted February 06, 2007 08:23 PM              

As you know, we have been seeing each other for 7 months now. Before i ask you guys for your thoughts/advice, Here are the stats on this relationship...

*We have been intimate for the past 2 1/2 months.

*He tells me he is elated when he sees me.

*We are limited in our time spent because of distance and schedules so we only see each other once or twice a month.

*We talk to each other once a day.

*We go out to lunch or dinner and he has never paid for any dinners. we each pay our own.

*He tells me he misses me...when i ask.

Ok..I mentioned to him tonight that i got a call out of the blue from an ex fiance (Pisces) that i haven't seen in 10 years. He wants to go out to dinner and catch up on old times (don't know how he got my number) I said maybe, but thinking i wouldn't do this because i would not want to hurt my guys feelings.

I asked him about what his thoughts were about seeing other guys and he said " I already told a while back"

Well, " a while back" was when we only knew each other 2 months. at that time he said that he didn't mind if i saw other people. things have changed since then. we are intimate. That means something as far as I am concerned.

posted February 06, 2007 08:55 PM              

Sinderlou.......I can't believe he's throwing you another curve ball......

After he said, you already know what I think about that.......did you say anything, did he say anything else?

I find it very hard to believe that he would want you to see other people at this point and not be jealous.

Do you really want to see this pisces? Or did you mention him only as a little "hey, see, here's another guy that's interested in me.....hint hint!!!"

posted February 06, 2007 09:29 PM              

I mentioned this man calling me because i tell him everything about my day. And that had me surprized because i dont' know how he got my cell phone number. i haven't seen or heard from him in 10 years. All i know about him is that people have told me that he still loves me and he has not been serious with anyone since we parted (He was a virgin when I met him)

This subject of being exclusive and seeing other people just sort of spiraled off of mentioning this guy calling me.

When he said that comment to me. I said "So you don't mind if I see other people" He said, "No, we already discussed this subject." I didn't say anything back after that. I was numb and literally speechless.

I feel like he doesn't care when push comes to shove.

If I am being used I think I will puke.

posted February 07, 2007 05:48 AM              

I emailed my present crab (who told me that he could care less if I see anyone else besides him but at the same time tells me he is elated to see me and misses me) and told he I was going out.

I have not heard from him. I am meeting him today for a quick lunch and told him I look forward to seeing him because it "gives me Joy when he is Elated".

If he lays a finger on me, I will slam it in the car door so help me God. I am getting really tired of this crap.

posted February 07, 2007 06:10 AM              

If he said he didn't mind if you saw other people because it has been previously discussed- when things weren't so personal... It seems to me like yall aren't on the same page. And my pessimistic self of course I have to wonder with the distance and him not caring - maybe he's already doing that?

Either way, maybe have an honest talk with him about it and if you're not on the same page tell him you're gonna go read a new book That's what I'd do, anywho.

posted February 07, 2007 06:25 AM              

Thanks for your advice. Coming to a sound decision is hard when you are thinking with your head and with your heart at the same time.

My heart wants more and feels something very deep here. My head is telling me to run for the hills!

He acts like he cares. I didn't come out and flatly say I loved him but I said that a part of me loves him and I asked if he felt that way too. He said yes.

Is he just telling me what I want to hear when we are close? Over the phone he said "We already discussed this." He was very curt and seemed aggitated.= when he made that comment.

Is 7 months too soon to be wanting to be exclusive to someone? Honestly, if I am pushing things here I will back off. Is this too much to ask? Maybe wait a year to see if there is more here?

I am starting to question everything. In my mind, we were exclusive. If he has seen anyone during this time I think I will most definitely puke.

posted February 07, 2007 06:32 AM            

He might not want to show you how much he cares or how vulnerable he is.

If someone I love asked me if he could go out to meet his ex I'd probably say: sure you can just make sure you won't come back

posted February 07, 2007 06:40 AM              

I wanted to know how he felt about me. I want to know where I stand. I have told him repeatedly that i feel very close to him and that my nature is that I am one on one with a man once I have become intimate. He knows my standing. For him to say that he doesn't care, is breaking me up.

I went out to see my ex last night because if he doesn't care then I shouldn;t either. I am thinking, maybe he has gone out with on dates with other women here and there. We only see each other once or twice a week so he has other days in the week to do as he wishes.

I will not be made a fool of. At the same time, this is killing me. I need to know how he TRUELY feels. HE gets annoyed when I am direct with him.

QUESTION: What do I have to do to have an answer as to how to know how this man really feels?

posted February 07, 2007 07:07 AM              

He is a Cancer Sun and Cancer Asc. What is the point of saying something that you don't mean? Why would you do that and take a chance of losing something you want? I can't imagine these head games for the rest of my life.

Is this just a temporary crab thing before a final committment or is this a lifetime crab thing? I might be able to make it through a temporary situation but a lifetime will tear me apart.

I like to be serious and I want to go deep with someone. Sidestepping and being dishonest will never allow that to happen. I would be in a constanted state of suspended aggravation.

posted February 07, 2007 07:51 AM              

I appreciate your personal point of view and your honesty regarding this. If this is how a typical cancer is then I shouldn't be so upset I guess.

Now I am wondering how he is feeling knowing that I did go out to meet my ex last night.

Will he act like he doesn't care? I will be seeing him today and am just wondering what I am in for. I hope he doesn't blow me off since it is a far drive.

Should I be direct and explain what you have explained to me? Should I say that I believe this is why you act this way? That you say one thing and mean this opposite?
Will this scare him even more? I feel like I have to act differently to get along with him. I want to be myself. I want to say how I feel.

I don't want to hurt him. i don't want to be hurt. I feel like putting your cards out on the table is the best thing. Would a crab be happier if I did the same thing?

posted February 07, 2007 08:18 AM              

I just have to determine if I should be exclusive to this man or not.

Actions speak louder than words. I know how it is when we are together. It is wonderful. But i don't see him 5 to 6 days a week so I have no idea if he is getting any action.

posted February 07, 2007 08:36 AM              

And I wouldn't wait 'til Valentine's Day for it, either - with Mercury going retrograde on the 13th, I'd imagine something would definitely get in the way.

My perspective, for what it's worth . . .

posted February 07, 2007 08:51 AM              

Its interesting you should say about the attraction thing for Pisces.

Not only did I have my ex call after 10 years but someone that I have known as strictly a friend has confided that they have liked me for years and asked me out yesterday as well. In addition, someone I work with has been asking me out for the past two weeks. This indeed has been an interesting few days.

The one I want tells me he could care less though I feel he feels something different.

I think I may take your advice and just be blunt about my feelings. I am tired. I want to be myself. i don't want to play little headgame dating games things. We aren't kids
there shouldn't be this thing where you say one thing and mean another. Say what you mean.

I dont; know if I am a typical Piscean or not but I HATE wasting my time on situations that are pointless. If there is nothing to take that is positive, I believe it is best to remove that negativity from your life.

posted February 07, 2007 09:50 AM              

At this point, he knows you want more from him, and he feels he has the upper hand and will indulge it (Cancer males can be very immature when they feel vulnerable, and they scuttle away and hate directness.) If you keep playing this game, it's like giving a child the upper hand. Be the adult instead and he will have no power over you.

A lot of times with guys you have to be willing to walk away when they act up and treat you in a way you don't want, (and you have to be able to do this, without being attached to them responding - you have to be truly over it and ready to drop them, which is seems like you are there - that's the only way it works) or else they will keep indulging in the childish behavior. Telling them and explaining and asking what they feel and giving them chances doesn't really do a whole lot of good, you have to take *action* for them to understand. It's the way a lot of dudes are conditioned.

I'd stop calling him and talking to him regularly and do other things instead. I would do this for long time to break the pattern. he's going to want to hold on to it. But when you don't call or speak with him, He'll probably want to know what is going on and call you. You can also be pleasant but short when you finally do talk to him. Any kind of emotional reaction and he'll think he has you where he wants you again (again, you need more of a capricorn energy to balance immature cancer energy)

Once he realizes that when he plays these games with you that he risks losing you, he may stop doing it completely and reveal his true feelings because he is scared of losing you more than being vulnerable to you. If he keeps doing it he's not worth your time.

posted February 07, 2007 10:06 AM              

His Venus is in Gemini, His Mars is in Leo.

I will be meeting him in the next couple hours and whatever spills forth from my mouth will determine if i ever see this man again.