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Author Topic:   I suspect abuse.....
Birdsong
Knowflake

Posts: 258
From: Kalamazoo Michigan
Registered: Aug 2001

posted September 04, 2001 09:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Birdsong     Edit/Delete Message
Can anyone help me out with this one?

I believe that a long term situation is about to blow sky high.

I am too personally involved in this one...because the glyphs are spinning at me.... I don't like the way she looks...not one bit

Her: Jan 5 1966
12:15 am...Kalamazoo mich

Him: March 19 1959
4:56 am
Toledo Ohio

I have known this man for almost 10 years...and I was floored to find out he is a Pisces....all I saw was that Gemini Mars....he exhibits none of the softer qualities of Pisces and only the pinchy side of his Cancer Moon.

She is a very strong Cappy Sun...but her Saturn squares her Moon and opposes her Pluto.

She seems to be either wearing down...or waking up...but she will not meet my eyes....I knOw her better than that...and she knOws it too.
I do think the Uranus rx has been hard on her....it's in the 12th conjuncting her Pluto...

Any insights as to the two of these long married people... whats going on there?....

Dani

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted September 05, 2001 12:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Dani,

They have violent aspects between them doubled so you may very well be correct. Violent aspects usually indicate fighting or f%@*, I mean sex. Could be both, especially in this case. If it's violence, she'll leave when she's ready. Saturn is going to conjunct her Moon soon and she may very well walk away from it. She'll do some heavy introspection at that time but if she hasn't left before, she'll probably go back if she does leave. A battered woman leaves on the average of seven times before walking away for good. Just remember, the decision has to be hers and hers alone. Begging her to leave will not work. All you can do is be there for her when she's ready to walk out the door and let her know you're still there for her if she goes back. Take heed of some of your sister's Aquarian traits because you're going to need them to watch this situation! Aquarians couldn't be awesome humanitarians if it wasn't for our aloofness. If you need any more info on this issue, just let me know. I did an internship at the battered women's center when I was in college.

BTW, she has Uranus transiting her 6th right now and it's not conjuncting anything.

About him--it's his Moon square Mercury combined with his Gemini Mars that got me. This man doesn't know the meaning of rational.

Take care and keep that podium hid when you're near her.

Love and light,
~Auriel

------------------
I guess because it’s about a man who loves a woman so much
that he knows, without being told..how she feels
what makes her hurt and ache inside
…Linda Goodman in Gooberz

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Birdsong
Knowflake

Posts: 258
From: Kalamazoo Michigan
Registered: Aug 2001

posted September 06, 2001 12:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Birdsong     Edit/Delete Message
And how did you knOw I was dusting off my podium?...Never mind...I knOw how yOu knew.....

I was looking at her natal uranus....I could not handle her transit chart...thats how I know I am too close to this one.

Ok...so Aquarian style rise above it and get a good view eh?

As far as their sex goes...because I happen to know it is not lovemaking...she and I have been close for years.....( she one time said she had vaccinations that lasted longer!.!!!eeeeewwwwwww bleach!!!)the sex is probably part of the violence if my intuition is right.....

She has gone from a ladies 12 to a girls size 5 in a year......her skin is hanging from her face...and she is showing anorexic behavior. She has fought eating disorders before......but she was laughing saying it made him mad because has lost her breasts....and she has.....there is nothing there.....and she was quite buxom before....
Her giggle about it was all wrong...and when I lOOked at her...she dropped her eyes again......

Thie woman is devoutly religious...and has been raised in a faith where the woman does what the man says...the Bible tells her so.....and she has always disapproved of my astrology.
She called me up and asked me to look at her chart because she thinks she is going crazy...and she was whispering so her husband would not hear her on the phone...and then he picked it up and yelled at her for being on the phone for 3 hours...and I blew right then and there...and yelled back "Who has time to be on the phone for 3 hours! Who do you think you're talking too!"...and he hung up....
boy it was a bad bad feeling.

I have always been the rebellious friend that he thought was a bad influence....but he has never talked to her like that around me...although I knew he did.

Mark cannot stand him at all......

She has had a change of jobs and homes in the last year....plus she went back to school...he is threatened by her 'thinking'.

And frankly I am worried.

Do you think the Saturn Rx might light the fire?...
It does not look like it will ease up on her soon does it?

Dani

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted September 06, 2001 09:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Dani,

A battered woman needs unconditional Love and support. Lectures are wasted on them. They are used to lectures and put downs from their batterer and that's how they interpret any lecture just because of association. That's why I said learn from your sister and why Aquarians are so awesome at working with battered women. Most people find our aloofness a negative trait. I disagree. If it wasn't for our aloofness, we wouldn't be able to continuously watch someone go back to a bad situation and keep our mouths shut and still be there when they left again. You say you're always surrounded by Aquarians and that's for a reason. LEARN OUR POSITIVE TRAITS--and aloofness is a positive one and I don't care what anyone says. You absolutely need it with your friend, Dani. If you don't distance yourself emotionally, the situation will eat you up and you won't be there when she needs you because you'll feel so strongly about it that you have to walk away.

Sexual abuse is part of the abuse and it's part of her chart but I can't talk about it. It's screaming at me not to and I always follow those voices. If I didn't people wouldn't reveal so much to me when I open their chart. They can open up to me and let me SEE or they can close me off. Most open up to me and I think it's because they know I care and they are safe and I will honor their feelings. You saw this in action with your husband. It took me forever to rectify his chart because he closed me off and wouldn't allow it. It wasn't until he opened up to me that I was able to do it. She's very open with me but I feel her asking me not to talk and I have to honor that.

I can say that I knew instantly that Venus must've gone Rx in her progressed chart because it wasn't in her natal chart. When I checked her progressed chart, I was right on. Pull out your Ephemeris and go to her birthday. Go to Venus and count down the number of years she is. Then keep going until Venus is direct. That'll be the time she walks out the door. If she walks before then because of that Saturn conjunct Moon, she'll still doubt her ability to be truly Loved by another until that Venus goes direct with her progressions. She chose this lesson for a reason and she needs to re-MEMBER why. Just re-MEMBER it's her lesson and she is the only one who can learn it. You can't do it for her. If you want to help, be there for her with unconditional Love. She needs it. If you want to express your Virgo, have her make two lists. (I thought that one would make you happy ) One list should be what she has to gain by staying there. The other one should be what she has to gain by leaving. Tell her to search her heart and be completely honest with hersELF (she has that ability) and dig deep for her answers. Then help her sort her feelings out about her answers. Actually you won't even have to do that. Let her talk and don't interupt. If you need help with prompts, just let me know. I'll give you some of my counseling techniques. I rarely say a word when I do counseling. I don't have to.

I'll look at Saturn later. I don't have time this morning and am already behind schedule. I took Joshua to school and came home and he was calling just as I was walking in the door. He forgot his homework. I took the girls to school and then took Joshua his homework. Aneasha was calling just as I was walking in the door. She forgot her lunch money. I felt like asking Aneasha to call Kassiana's teacher before I went up there to see what she forgot! And to top it off, my throat is STILL sore! Ugh, and I drank half a jar of honey last night!!

And stay off that podium when she's around!!

Love and light,
~Auriel

------------------
I guess because it’s about a man who loves a woman so much
that he knows, without being told..how she feels
what makes her hurt and ache inside
…Linda Goodman in Gooberz

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Birdsong
Knowflake

Posts: 258
From: Kalamazoo Michigan
Registered: Aug 2001

posted September 06, 2001 12:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Birdsong     Edit/Delete Message
Ok sweetie...I hear ya.

I will follow your guidance.

She knew I was going to talk to you...thats why she is so open to you......but I also knOw in my heart...she would not want me to knOw the details.
It frightened her that you could knOw so much...but I told her you were safe with ALL of her feelings...and she has conveyed that to you without a doubt.

And once again my aqua friend....you leave me in awe!

Dani

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted September 06, 2001 07:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Dani,

Her Venus will go direct in 2006. I think she'll leave before then but she has a long healing process ahead of her. Venus is going to stay on 28*Cappy for many years once it goes direct. Hey, at least it's direct!

Thanks for the words of understanding and support, Dani.

Love and light,
~Auriel

------------------
I guess because it’s about a man who loves a woman so much
that he knows, without being told..how she feels
what makes her hurt and ache inside
…Linda Goodman in Gooberz

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted September 07, 2001 05:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message

------------------
Remember, love can conquer the influence of the planets....
It can even eliminate karma." Linda Goodman

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Birdsong
Knowflake

Posts: 258
From: Kalamazoo Michigan
Registered: Aug 2001

posted September 08, 2001 01:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Birdsong     Edit/Delete Message
Auriel.

All day long, I turned your words over in my head.....it's not just this particular friend with whom I must learn to distance myself.

This totally goes along with opening that third eye doesn't it?

Because the more you can see...the more you can feel...and the more you can feel the more you can grieve for what you cannot fix....and the more you drain yourself of the LOve of Life you were trying to embrace by opening your 3rd eye in the first place.

It could become very depressing.....you have to protect yourself...or else you are no good to anyone.

A lady at church...last year her husband of 25 years left her suddenly...right before Christmas.....and during the Peace we hugged and wished each other Peace...and I could feel her pain so badly...I LOOked at her and asked if she was alright...and thats when it exploded out of her...no one knew before that.....

I held her for a long time...and I felt that black pain of hers roll into my chest like inky thick waves on a beach...I took it on purpose...she could not stand up on her own right then.
It was very clear to me at the moment that I was experiencing something I was familiar with...but not in this life.
I KNEW HOW to take her pain from her...does that make sense?

Within a week I was sick with a chest cold.

Mother Kathleen and I talked about it...and she told me to be very careful with this ability while I learn to harnass it... ...and always if I 'look after' someone in pain at church...I will spot her watching me very closely.

She has this ability too...and she said it can really be harmful if you take too much.

I can see that.

My girlfriend that this thread was started for,....whew! I am SO close to this one...the glyphs jumped around on the paper...(Just like Joes used to!)...well, I already knew what yOu knOw now.....I had just pushed it out of my mind.
She was right there across the street...we were always there for each other.

But then she moved to the other side of the village......to a house off a ways from others....a house big enough to provide LOTS of privacy for she and her husband....something they did not have across the street.

And whatever big change was in the offing before...it's the move that has made the dangerous difference.

I will work very hard on keeping a cool distant clear head.

She and I used to always have coffee on the phone in the AM...and what with the kids and all...she has 4...well our lives changed...and we have drifted away from it.

But since she moved...we never knOw a good time to call either...so now we are drifting even further.
It seems to me he might like that...and so I believe...I will make myself a little more available...casually of course.

Thankyou.....

Dani

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted September 08, 2001 08:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Dani,

With my Pisces rising, I absorb EVERYTHING. I have to keep a constant circle of protection around me to protect mysELF or I get drained and sick. I can't do astrology when I'm tired or I get sick. When I open a chart, I don't just see some aspects, I feel the Soul. It's soooooooo draining sometimes. Especially if they are in pain. It completely drains me and if I'm already tired, I crash. I've learned to make people wait. I don't care if they get impatient--they just better not show it to me or I'll never answer their questions--and I don't care if they're paying for it either. Money is not exactly a motivator that's going to make me jump. I'd rather forget the money and be at PEACE with mysELF. Therefore, I refuse to do astrology if I'm tired. I can't or I pay severe consequences and my health is more important. Period.

Yep, the more you re-MEMBER, the deeper things are felt. That means pain is felt on a deeper level but Love is too. If you learn to embrace the pain and re-LEASE it back to the universe, you'll take another step farther on that path to re-MEMBERing.

Have a good weekend, Dani. I won't be around all weekend.

Love and light,
~Auriel

------------------
I guess because it’s about a man who loves a woman so much
that he knows, without being told..how she feels
what makes her hurt and ache inside
…Linda Goodman in Gooberz

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Birdsong
Knowflake

Posts: 258
From: Kalamazoo Michigan
Registered: Aug 2001

posted September 08, 2001 02:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Birdsong     Edit/Delete Message
Have a great weekend sweetie!!!!!

I am off to the world of wheels to make

Dani

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BlueDove
Knowflake

Posts: 36
From: Dryden, Michigan
Registered: Sep 2001

posted September 09, 2001 01:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueDove     Edit/Delete Message
Hey, sweet Dani!
What a caring friend you are!
Terrible to feel helpless and hard to stand back and wait, isn't it?
And even harder to keep ole' Trigger Mouth (heehee) in check here, huh?

Auriel gave excellent advice (as usual)...
it's so hard to be aloof, especially when you care for her like you do.
I get tend to get too involved emotionally in situations like that and I end up walking away, out of personal protection, just like she said (what an eye-opener!).
But what good does that do anyone, because you're always left with that feeling of guilt that you abandoned them in their greatest time of need

Prayin for your friend...
sorry it has to be that way

Love, Lisa

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Birdsong
Knowflake

Posts: 258
From: Kalamazoo Michigan
Registered: Aug 2001

posted September 09, 2001 02:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Birdsong     Edit/Delete Message
LISA!!!!!!! THERE you are!!!!!

I thought you'd never get here!!!!!!

Check out the icons...they are SO

Auriel is right tho'...and so are you...ol' Trigger Mouth could really take that man out back for a whuppin'

You should have seen her face when I told her I asked Auriel to lOOk at her stuff!

Geez!!! The fear!!!!
I felt like she could have sat down and put her thumb in her mouth........

I had to put her at ease...so I flat out told her that Auriel said there were private issues that she did not want discussed...and that Auriel respected that feeling.

I could hear her holding her breath...really sad you know? as you say...that ain't no good......

Have you around here yet?

Dani

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BlueDove
Knowflake

Posts: 36
From: Dryden, Michigan
Registered: Sep 2001

posted September 09, 2001 11:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueDove     Edit/Delete Message
Yup!!
I finally made it!

Wow, so many cool icons to choose from!
I just can't make up my mind! he hee hee

I been looking around a bit, yes,
and there's so much to learn and read!!
I could sit here all nite!

That poor lady,
did what Auriel said give her any insights or help her feel any better at all?
Yes, that fear....
it's scary as hell to look the truth right in the face and have to deal with it.
I understand why she would feel scared.

yeah, the best you could probably do is just be there when she needs you...
but I don't think an occasional subtle truth zinger would do any harm either!
She may need a wee bit of wake-ups now and then to help her on her way.
I know I have been so thankful for the times when you were honest and open with me...it really helped me me too see things in an objective way, and helped me to see things in a different light.
Just be careful, like Auriel said,
not too take her pain into yourself too much.
It is her decision and path to walk...

But still lots of prayers for her to choose the right path.

These icons are addictive aren't they? haha

Lisa

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Australdi
Knowflake

Posts: 401
From: Australia
Registered: Apr 2001

posted September 10, 2001 10:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Australdi     Edit/Delete Message
Dani
I've been there too .....
I got through it all 'cause of my friends....I just knew they were there when I needed them
....unconditionally
....the time it takes....is the time it takes....self esteem comes from sorting it out for yourself though....and only self esteem will heal (eventually)
Auriel is soooo right!!! (she just blows me away sometimes!!!!!....GO GIRL!!!!)
Dani, with a friend such as you.....your friend is blessed & my faith in the universe providing all that you need is restored!
Aus

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted September 10, 2001 01:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message
I agree with Aus. If everyone had at least one friend like Dani, the world would truly be filled with Angels.

------------------
Remember, love can conquer the influence of the planets....
It can even eliminate karma." Linda Goodman

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted September 10, 2001 08:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks ladies. Sometimes when I'm ready to throw in my humanitarian towel and quit doing astrology/spiritual counseling/psychology, I hear something nice like your kind words and re-MEMBER why I do it.

Love and light,
~Auriel

------------------
I guess because it’s about a man who loves a woman so much
that he knows, without being told..how she feels
what makes her hurt and ache inside
…Linda Goodman in Gooberz

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Birdsong
Knowflake

Posts: 258
From: Kalamazoo Michigan
Registered: Aug 2001

posted September 10, 2001 10:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Birdsong     Edit/Delete Message

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted April 09, 2002 11:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

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Aphrodite
Moderator

Posts: 3280
From: San Francisco, CA, United States
Registered: Feb 2002

posted May 02, 2002 10:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
hello dani,

i am curious as to how things are going with your friend. this thread is an inspiring example of friendship

love,

aphrodite

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