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Author Topic:   aries/pisces synastry
Sabra
Knowflake

Posts: 10
From:
Registered: Jan 2002

posted March 15, 2002 04:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sabra     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Auriel,

When you have a chance, could you look at a synastry for a classmate friend of mine and me?

My data:
born: March 24, 1956 - time: 2:02am
Haifa, Israel

My friend:
born: March 3, 1977 - time: ?
Cincinnati, OH

We seem to be having an up & down friendship and I feel I have been deceived and taken advantage of by her. Part of this reminds me of the passage in Love Signs of how a Piscean acquaintance of Linda Goodman once remarked, "Well, you know what I always say - promise anything, and get out of it later."

After rehearsing it many times in my mind so I could be as tactful as possible, I finally got the courage to tell her how hurt I felt. She just responded with a "Sorry, I didn't know you felt that way" accompanied with a nervous laugh. Her laughing started to get my Aries blood boiling and since I didn't want to say anything I would regret, I walked away.

A few days later in class we had our usual friendly conversations, but there seem to be more deception and broken promises. On the last day of class (which was a week later), I again approach Ms. Pisces that I felt used. This time she said I was immature and we went our separate ways.

Now when we pass each other in the hallways at school we just give each other the silent treatment (and I also get the "evil eye" from her). The only exception was when we crossed each other’s paths last week and without either of us stopping, I wished her a “Happy Birthday”. She smiled and actually said thank you (for the first time to me). I think she was pleasantly surprised. But the next time I saw her, which was a few days later, Ms Pisces reverted to her silent treatment behavior.

I have been advised to forget about the whole thing and don’t waste my time. Easier said then done especially since we are majoring in the same field and we most likely will be in the same classes (it is a small local college).

The weird thing is that I miss talking to her and I can't stop thinking about it; I guess it is because I still want to be friends. I am so confused. Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks!!

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted March 17, 2002 10:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message
Welcome to the site, Sabra!

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted March 18, 2002 04:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Welcome Sabra. I'll get to it when I get a chance.

------------------
To fall in Love, is to rise. . . .
~Upendra

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted April 16, 2002 10:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Sabra,

I see some harsh aspects between the two of you, but deception isn't really one of them. I see you stifling her ability to communicate at times, but for the most part, communication seems decent. She has some internal conflicts that she needs to deal with, and you may be picking up those issues. You may be an Aries, but you have a lot of Earth in your chart, and she doesn't. You are more grounded than she is, and you may have expectations that she can't live up to, because it's not in her. You both need to learn to accept the other without conditions or expectations to go forward.

------------------
To fall in Love, is to rise. . . .
~Upendra

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Sabra
Knowflake

Posts: 10
From:
Registered: Jan 2002

posted April 17, 2002 01:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sabra     Edit/Delete Message
Auriel,

Thank you so much for your response; especially with your wrist being strained. I really enjoy reading your replies to others and thrilled that you took the time to answer mine.

I have sensed some of her internal conflicts. Although I am not sure what they are, I know she has to deal with them herself and I never once pried, which is why I tried to help her in other ways to alleviate those issues. She is also extremely shy and it seems she wants help, but doesn't want to ask verbally.

There are a few things that you mentioned that I am curious about:

Do you really think that there was no deception on her part even if it was unintentional? It is just that nobody has done that to me before and maybe that is why I felt I was deceived?

May I ask how I am stifling her ability to communicate? I don't even want to discourage or repress her from communicating. In fact, in our past conversations, I would ask her how she is doing in her studies, her health, etc. and I would refrain from talking about myself. Sometimes, I would ask her a question, like have you ever been out to the ocean? Instead of a yes or no, she gave me a long answer and it was such a joy just listening to her.

I have done a lot of things to help her without expecting anything in return (honestly), but at the end of the semester, it just felt like I was doing all the giving and she was doing all the taking.

I know the potential is there to become good friends if I let it develop naturally over time, but I feel if I don't take the initiative to break the silence between us soon (I don't think she will) then the friendship will be lost. I also don't believe she would want to listen to my explanation. I am even willing to apologize for my behavior.

Again, thank you so much for listening and I do hope your wrist gets better.

Sabra

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted April 17, 2002 06:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
I guess I have to ask what you were giving and not getting in return? If you give without expectations in return, your return will be sweeter. You also have to understand that when a Pisces opens up to you like that, they're giving the greatest thing they have to offer. Pisces is very secretive and doesn't open up easily, so she's giving of herself. It sounds like you have different ideas of giving. Do you open up to her in return?

Your Saturn squares her Mercury tightly. If you examined your relationship or spoke to her about it, you would find that when the transits set it off, you do stifle her communication.

------------------
To fall in Love, is to rise. . . .
~Upendra

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Sabra
Knowflake

Posts: 10
From:
Registered: Jan 2002

posted April 19, 2002 01:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sabra     Edit/Delete Message
Auriel,

We were both enrolled in the same database class that met three times a week and in which we had five large assignments and a final project. Most of the time the classes were labs instead of lectures so we could work on our assignments. She ask me for help on many occasions that would last from a few minutes to an hour or more.

Each time, I stopped what I was doing (I do the same for other students in other classes) and tried to help when I could. I even helped her with other classes, assignments, and by lending her software, textbooks, etc. There were times when she got stuck on the assignments and because of the lack of time in class I let her take my assignments home. Even though she was living with her parents she was very busy having two part-time jobs and always seem to be babysitting her 18-month niece. I knew she would not just copy the homework because she already had a lot of it done.

Not once did she even utter a "thank you". That didn't even cross my mind until the end of the term. In my other classes most of the other students help each other and it seems gratifying. Also, there is an unwritten rule in school; if someone helps you, you try to return the favor later or at least try to show some verbal appreciation or at least acknowledge the help you are getting.

A couple of weeks later, I ask if she would like to get together to do the final project. She agreed that this was a good idea. I have done this in many other classes with other men and women and it always worked out very well for many reasons.

One day she ask me for some assistance with her schedule for next term, such as what combination of classes should be taken, who are the good instructors, etc. The very next day I ask her for some help with my schedule. She just mumbled something and wouldn't even turn her head to look.

Another day, I mentioned that I needed to talk to her (I forgot what it was) after class and it would only take a few minutes. This is the last class for us in the day and since we both park very close to each other we always take the ten-minute walk together. We got to our cars, and I said what I have to say will only take a few minutes. She said I should have said it while we were walking. This was right after I had just got done helping her in class for over an hour. My mouth just dropped and I just said some other time and walked away.

In class I started to help her less unless she really needed it because I started to get behind in my own work. One day after the instructor was helping her with a homework problem, she whispered to me that she should ask him more often. After asking her why, she replied, "Because he does it for you". Another time when she ask the instructor, he suggested that she ask me since he was busy helping others. I pretended that I didn't hear him say that, because I wanted her to ask me without me just offering. After getting frustrated trying to figure it out herself, she started surfing the Internet. It was like she was sitting there waiting for me to offer help. Twenty minutes later, I couldn't take it any more, so I ask her what she needed help in.

In the mean time I kept reminding her of the final project about once a week and she kept saying it would be a good idea and she would like to get together. A couple of times I suggested a day and time. As time got nearer to the due date I just said you pick a day and time and I will revise my schedule. She just always seems to be busy and had one excuse after another. One day she mentioned that she and a girlfriend went out drinking to 1 am. Two days later she said she went out again with the same girlfriend and was up late again. Finally, I said I thought you said you are always busy. "I'm busy during the day but not in the evening" was her reply.

On the last weekend before the project was due she said she had a busy schedule but would let me know via email whether we can do the project together. Sure enough, at the last minute she backed out of it. When we met in class, she said it was easy and had already started on it. Boy, was I naive!!

On the last day of class I told her that she abused my time and trust and that a reputation like hers will get around the school very quickly. I also said I didn't appreciate being taken advantage of and deceived. I am just not sure whether this was intentional on her part. Of course she denied being deceptive and I now regret for saying those things. It was the last week full of exams and projects and I had very little sleep at the time. She was all done with her exams and projects.

You mentioned that "Pisces is very secretive and doesn't open up easily, so she's giving of herself". I sensed that and I truly was flattered whenever she spoke to me while rarely speaking to others. You also said "it sounds like you have different ideas of giving." I know that the above is more of a giving on a physical realm, but a couple of times, I said if she ever felt like talking or need an ear just let me know, but I didn't push it. You ask me if I open up in return. I would have love to, but I felt I was never given the chance.

Thanks again for your help, but I am still confused.

Sabra

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted May 08, 2002 04:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Bringing this up for the other astrologers here. There's a lot more to be said, but too much typing for me. There's a lot here. Maybe I'll work on it a section at a time, but I've done all I can for today.

------------------
To fall in Love, is to rise. . . .
~Upendra

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Aphrodite
Moderator

Posts: 3280
From: San Francisco, CA, United States
Registered: Feb 2002

posted May 09, 2002 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
hi auriel, greg actually answered sabra on the other site . . . so it's all good. wow does the universe listen

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted May 09, 2002 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Sweet! Thank you, Greg! I wanted to be able to help more, and had a lot to say, but just couldn't type it!

------------------
To fall in Love, is to rise. . . .
~Upendra

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Sabra
Knowflake

Posts: 10
From:
Registered: Jan 2002

posted May 09, 2002 08:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sabra     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Auriel,

I knew your wrist was hurting and I didn't want to burden you with my request or keep bugging you about it since your health is a lot more important.

Believe me, I know the frustration and pain you are going through since I had the same ailment a few years ago because I work with computers 40+ hours a week. My hand was becoming numb from the pain in my wrist, but I opted to go to a chiropractor first before surgery. I'm glad I did. After two treatments, the pain went away and hasn't come back since except once in awhile I do feel a small twinge but it doesn't last long. The chiropractor told me that many patients come to him after they had surgery, because the pain always came back like it did before.

In the mean time I took my question to the other site because I needed some answers quickly. I apologize for not telling you, so you could close this thread, but I was hoping you could still help. I highly value Greg's (and yours too) opinion, but your responses just seem different (almost psychic) from what I have seen in this forum and I am eager to hear what you have to say. Especially, since you mentioned that you had a lot to say.

If you can't, I understand. If you can, just whenever you have a chance even if it is a section at a time.

Thank you so much for keeping my post in mind, and please take care of your wrist.

Sabra

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted May 10, 2002 09:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks, Sabra. Greg was actually my teacher. He didn't teach me about the planets or what the signs mean. He reminded me that I've been an astrologer in other lives and that I should learn it by lOOking within and re-MEMBERing it. It's why I chose not to learn it by reading books. That was the best advice anyone could EVER give me.

The problems I'm having with my wrist are from a car accident I was in 1 1/2 years ago. I broke it in six places and tore the ligaments in three places. I had emergency surgery to reset the bones the day of the surgery, but just had the surgery for the ligaments back in January of this year. Considering there was a direct impact from her car to my arm and hand, the doctor was amazed I still have them. I had angels watching over me. I see a chiropractor once a month.

I'm leaving soon to go out of state, but will lOOk at it again when I return. Thanks for all your patience and understanding.

------------------
To fall in Love, is to rise. . . .
~Upendra

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Starchild020
Knowflake

Posts: 131
From: I live in the cloud of dreams.
Registered: Apr 2002

posted May 12, 2002 05:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starchild020     Edit/Delete Message
Sabra may I ask if you have strong feelings for her? You seem like you do, because since you have such and earthy quality you should have just let her go, and forgotten about being friends with her. Am I right, do you have other feelings for her?
the reason it feels that your giving and she's taking is because she has a leo moon. and so leo's love praise and attention and thats what she's soaking up. She may just need improvement on giving. I really think your attracted to her! It's ok you can tell me if I'm wrong.
I'm a pisces myself by the way.
-Starchild

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Sabra
Knowflake

Posts: 10
From:
Registered: Jan 2002

posted May 15, 2002 10:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sabra     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Starchild,

That is a legitimate question and thanks for asking. It does seem from my posts that I have strong feelings and that I may be attracted to her. If someone else wrote these posts and I was reading them, my line of thinking would be the same as yours. I think part of it, is because with my Aries sun, I rarely do things by halves including friendships. Aries expects total devotion and sincerity in friendship.

I do have feelings for her, but I must stress it is only on a friendship level, nothing more. As far as being attracted to her - of course I am attracted to her, but not on a romantic level, if that makes any sense. I believe there is always an attraction of different intensities between two people that like each other. Usually when meeting someone new, people get vibes from each other and they start talking about various topics and find there may be common interests etc. There had to be some type of attraction for them to even start talking however small that attraction may be.

So I guess I could say I was attracted to her because of her personality, our mutual interests (we were taking the same classes together) and she just seem like a nice person. She is also extremely shy (and I know how that feels) and she needed help with her studies.

I am just trying to understand her motivation. I mean I could this turn around from what you suggested. For example, I have observed more than once that sometimes if someone has a strong interest in someone else they would ask them a lot of questions or ask them for help consistently even if that person that is doing the asking knows the answers or really don’t need any help. They do that so they can spend more time with them and maybe build a relationship.

Who knows, maybe that was what Ms. Pisces was trying to do? One reason I say that is because in this one class she struggled during the whole term. But, when we took the final exam she whizzed right through it without even flinching. Out of 20 students she was the second one done. I helped her a lot during the term, but not enough to ace the exam. Heck, I didn’t get done till more than a half-hour later. Did she really need the help during the term after all? I just find that rather odd.

Yea, you are right about her Leo moon and loving the attention. I have an Aries sun and I do know about the need for attention, and I also can’t stand being ignored. You are also correct about her needing improvement for giving. I felt that there was no giving on her part whatsoever. I would think I gave her enough examples on how to give, and she not even show the slightest appreciation.

I am also in a dilemma. Because we are both majoring in the same program, it is inevitable that we will be in the same classes together especially since the school is small. I know there will be at minimum three classes where we have to do one big project in each class and these are done in teams. From my past experience with her, I don’t know if I can trust her anymore. I tried talking to her in past occasions (see above posts) and she swims away in denial. If we are on the same team (it could easily happen), going to the instructor won’t help and I think will just make matters worst. In a previous class, which she was not in, the instructor gave us a final project to complete. The instructor divided the class in two (4 on each team). I ask to be on the other team, because there was an individual with a bad attitude and wanted to do everything himself. The instructor’s response was “deal with it, that is how it is in the ‘real world’.”

What I do find odd is that aren’t Pisces the ones that usually have a need to help people? I know, I know, that is a generalization based just on the Sun sign and one has to consider the affects of the other sign. I would welcome any more insights or experiences you may have regarding the above.

Again, thanks for your interest.

Sabra

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Starchild020
Knowflake

Posts: 131
From: I live in the cloud of dreams.
Registered: Apr 2002

posted May 15, 2002 04:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starchild020     Edit/Delete Message
Hey Sabra,
Being a Pisces myself I'll tell you a little secret about Neptune girls. The Pisces girl you know has definitley been giving you many mixed messages. I bet you feel a little mystified by the way she is. She's very clever she's keeping you right on your toes, she's making you wonder about her. Pisces girls have a very natural intution and she can almost read your mind. I don't think she's the type that has lots of personalities or even the moody type. I think she's clever and secretive. She knows exactly how you feel, have no doubt about that. I definitly think she's leaning on you, and you like that,You like treating her nicely, you like the fact that she comes to you for help, you also want to know about her problems and she's knows it. The reason you can't avoid her, is because you dont want too. You like her and she likes you. Only you can sense if its just a friendship or more, I can't say much about that. I noticed in her chart that her mars was opposite her moon and that makes her run in to some problems with anger and the way she may get insensitive towards a relationship.
Anyhow the thing about Pisces women always being very helpful varies greatly. A pisces woman will probably want to help you a lot, enough, or just little. But the help factor really doesn't dissappear. I know she doesn't appear to be very helpful, but she can be. She probably has a lot of issues right now. Now lets see my advice is to be as clever as her, but you won't be since you dont naturally inherit that sense. I guess all you can do is not talk to her until she comes to you. When she does come to you, the way that you could hurt her feelings is to act uncaring towards her. Just to ignore her and brush her off will make her sad. If she really is using you, use your anger and tell her to go to hell, now that would make her cry. But really just be yourself and if you can't be as strategic or as clever with your feelings as she is, just try hard to back off it's not worth it. But don't worry I really see something special for both you. You'd be good for each other if you just understood and gave her another shot.
Byebye

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