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Author Topic:   Reaching a balance
cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 3
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted December 13, 2004 09:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy     Edit/Delete Message
First time on this great forum...Seems to be full of insight so I wonder what you guys think of this:

A lot of us come here to try to understand the "romantic" behavior of someone we have a crush on/have fallen in love with. We hope to get some clue on someone's action (and our chances at gaining their love/attention) based on their astrological sign.
So my question is how much is of the sun sign (and other chart info) and how much man/woman behavior accounts in our understanding of our S.O. and therefore sketch a plan on how to deal with "a situation."
Ex:
I've had a crush on this guy for the past two years. At first I could control it and play it cool (I'm a cap with scorpio rising by the way;although the scorpio has been problematic and my mars is in capricorn) but it later got out of hand and I've started acting really awkward around this guy who was a friend by the way. I got cornered in a situation whre I had to confess my feelings (big mistake but it was a gamble and I don't regret doing it). He reacted more than well although he could not return my feelings. I wasn't expected him to being the "realist" that I am. We remained "friends" with me doing most of the reaching out in order to save face and also gain some time to deal with all that had happened. I thought he also needed some time too.
To make a long story short, we were far away from each other over summer and most of the communication was by emails. On one of his last emails back in Aug. he suggested we get together for coffee on my return; that was a huge improvement from his "defensive yet friendly" attitude back to the time of my confession.
I didn't take it as a romantic gesture (although my heart was hopping, can't help that) but accepted nonetheless. We then meet at a social gathering in Sept. where I played it cool, emphasizing the friendly thing. He took me by surprise and started heavily and openly flirting with me. As I was about to leave, this aquarius guy (had to be!!!! so speak a bunch on that!) looks at me in the eyes, smiling, sincere and serious and told me he meant to call me for coffee. He didn't specify a date or anything but it didn't bother me because he was making such an improvement I thought!And it definitely wouldn't have been a "friend" get together coffee but the beginning of something more, at least I hoped. and he tacitly agreed, I think.
Well, anticlimax, this guy just never followed up!
I'm sure that happened to women a lot and it's a case of male losing interest or something!
So am I dealing with a case of a man simply leading me on and/or having lost interest or the case of an aquarian man being an aquarian and doing things his own way???
It's really important for me to know because I am serious about this guy and would like to give it try(depending on the answer) but I'm at a point where I'm feeling like a total fool and have imagined it all! I mean, I see this guy around and he's acting like nothing happened, has been nice while I'm about to explode and fall apart inside!

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 19966
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted December 13, 2004 09:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message
Welcome!

------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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NeoKitty
Knowflake

Posts: 93
From: Heaven
Registered: Dec 2004

posted December 14, 2004 12:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NeoKitty     Edit/Delete Message

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running_bull
Knowflake

Posts: 28
From: the desert, usa
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 14, 2004 12:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for running_bull     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
So am I dealing with a case of a man simply leading me on and/or having lost interest

yes! probably both. here's something I learned early on... some men can be the biggest jerks, others can be emotionally stunted, and still other's make you feel like your back in jr. high. you can't have them just as you want.

my goal is to find a mate just messed up enough for me to handle and i hope for him the feeling is mutual, because i'm a handful too, lol.


quote:
I'm about to explode and fall apart inside!

don't feel bad. it wasn't like your husband left. he's just some guy, not the second coming, lol. I think you are probably a great lady, who most likely has other potential suiters. you can't make someone like you, love you, or treat you well. sometimes we just have to move on.

just think, for every moment you spend thinking about this unforgettably rude person, you could be focusing on making yourself happy or finding a new future ex...

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zoso
Knowflake

Posts: 79
From: Nevada
Registered: Sep 2004

posted December 14, 2004 01:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for zoso     Edit/Delete Message
We're going after the same elusive Aqua, I think.
I know EXACTLY what you are saying . . . almost fits my story to the T. Actually, it does. Please don't say he is a snowboarder from Cali, I will keel over and die! No, really, though, keep on the friendly thing, especially with Aquarians, they are all about friends. In fact, being their "friend" might mean more to them than being a girlfriend to the other signs, which is awesome for you.

Here's a tip that I hope you don't take offensively:

Do what YOU do and let him do what HE does and it will fall into place because you're not focusing on HIM. I have a Scorpio Venus and I tend to obsess a lot. I find it better to just do my thing, alone and content. Whenever I do, people notice my independence (Aquarians like independance anyway, not that you are independent for HIM--that would be pointless) and then the rest will follow.

[I had to edit to say that I often feel like he used me and I'm a total idiot for imagining all these great things that will happen between us in the future . . . until he writes a little email and I'm elated for a few days. This tip I wrote here is something I just started saying to myself and I hope it works for you, even if it fails me. We'll see]

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Mama Mia
Knowflake

Posts: 190
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004

posted December 14, 2004 04:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Them dang on AQUA MEN.... Yes Zoso is right do what you do and let him do what he does.
and things will fall into place. been there with my Aqua guy. the less you care the more they seem to care. And also alot of times they can act non interested but it can be just the opposite, that is the way they keep in control of there emotions. Just b his friend and keep it friendly and watch what happens. And whatever you do keep your composure. Also if you can ignore him and watch what happens there also. I had to learn all these things over time and they do work.

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cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 3
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted December 14, 2004 09:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy     Edit/Delete Message
Well thank you guys for your advice! Really helps.
I've been keeping it cool so far. I've been going out with my friends almost twice every weekend and have lots of fun. I've just met a guy who's interested in me, I think. All my friends say so but I'm taking it slow. he's a gemini by the way! I'm starting to believe that I'm attracted to air signs. Opposite attract case? because I have no air on my chart!
I just keep thinking of that aqua guy though. I do interact with him as friends, having read so much on those aquas. And he's proven to me that he could be the best of friend so far as being there for you when things get rough.
Now, we email each other which is all the more annoying since I want him to bring his offer up and it seems like it couldn't be further from his mind!

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sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 2616
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted December 14, 2004 10:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
The aqua will start to get interested just as soon as you fall for the Gemini:> I like air signs too and they tend to act kind of goofy. They really don't know what they want most of the time, and so sometimes say what you want to hear. Aqua men are really good at the leading on thing, but they can be jealous and that's good at least. Geminis are never really jealous, just obsessed for a while.

So I would still bet on the Aqua for coming back into the picture although I can't say if either man is good for you or not without seeing their charts. Aquas tend to hang on longer, and have better memories.

You can only prepare for what's going to happen, not control who falls in love.

Only I was in an Aqua/Gemini triangle once, and it seemed they were only interested in me when one was around. However, the Aqua won, out as the more stubborn of the two.

Keep dating and stay available.

Natasha
Taurus

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cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 3
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted December 14, 2004 11:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy     Edit/Delete Message
Well, I don't have the gemini's info. I have to get the year; says he doesn't believe in astrology anyway. but the aqua goes like this:

Sun in Aqua
Asc?????
Venus in Aries
Mars in Aquarius

Mine:

Sun in Capricorn
Asc. in Scorpio
Venus in pisces
Mars in cap.

so what does it mean especially about his venus in aries sign?

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