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Author
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Topic: NUMB
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maya-v
Knowflake Posts: 53
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted December 26, 2004 01:10 PM
 
Is it just me or does the holiday season sometimes leave you numb? I have decided to end two very beautiful relationships in my life and though I know its for the best, I still feel this deep pain sometimes ... when I am not suprressing all my emotions. Does anyone feel a need to reach out and embrace ... just so it doesnt feel so cold and lonely inside?IP: Logged |
LeoSweetHeart
Knowflake Posts: 146
From: San Diego, CA USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted December 26, 2004 03:37 PM
Maya  , Yes I understand exactly what you mean hun. Sometimes I feel like if someone would just give me a hug and let me know they love me, I would feel so much better. You are having to let go of two friends right now, don't be hard on yourself for feeling sad. You will probably need a little time to heal, so make sure you allow yourself that time. In the meantime, we're here for you okay so you can embrace us during the cold and lonely times   Monica IP: Logged |
future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 307
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 26, 2004 04:44 PM
Maya-v,I had a really rough time last year during the holidays and it is certainly a terrible time to let go of someone important to you... kind of multiplies everything by 100! Hang in there and just live one day at a time. Pain can take a while to subside. You know where to find us if you need us! IP: Logged |
steelrose
Knowflake Posts: 57
From: Spain
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 26, 2004 05:15 PM
I know, Maya... I feel exactly this way... You replied to my thread "LOST" in Uni-versal Codes... Itīs funny because I could have called it "NUMB" and it would have meant the same... Iīve always hated Christmas... You are supposed to be happy but in fact you only feel vulnerable and remember good times... Times that are gone, people that you lost...  I also recently lost someone I loved. He decided we didnīt have a future because he didnīt love me enough to make concessions or sacrifice nothing. And then I decided to leave and come back to my country. I know it was for the better. I donīt regret it... I try not to think about it. It will go away. It had to happen... Donīt think about those you lost. Theyīll go away... I know itīs especially harder at this time of the year. Maybe being numb is not that bad after all. Thanks for being such a lovely person... You are compasionate and gentle... Iīm sure youīll find the right one and then youīll forget other loses. Because then you will be full. Even at Christmas. Take care, sweetie IP: Logged |
virgotaurustaurus
Knowflake Posts: 665
From: NY
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted December 26, 2004 07:48 PM
maya, the holiday season doesnt just leave me numb but it alternates with intense emotional pain. I just always feel intensely alone and hopeless around this time of year. It's not just you!!! I hope things feel better for us all soon enough!IP: Logged |
zoso
Knowflake Posts: 81
From: Nevada
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 27, 2004 12:47 AM
Oh, God, I know how much this is true.I work in retail at two of the malls here and it is just INSANE> people are crazy, drive like idiots, snap on you from the stress, and it is NEVER ENDING> AHHHHHH!
I think it's all really sad. What has happened to Christmas? I'm not christian, so the holidays never meant "Jesus" to me, but it was still one of the most important times because of family. Maybe it is because I work in the mall, but the whole "gift giving" thing is like a consumerism scheme gone wrong and if you don't have a lot of money, you feel depressed. Presents are such a big deal and it seems to ruin the Christmas spirit, especially when everyone it about ready to commit homicide when they haven't even walked into a store, yet. Some days I just want to shrivel up and disappear for a five-minute breather. Or own a jet pack to fly over all the traffic and parking lots. It's numbing from the outside and the inside. IP: Logged |
maya-v
Knowflake Posts: 53
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted December 27, 2004 05:53 AM
Thanks, all of you, for sharing and reaching out. I know its hard sometimes to express yourself, especially when you feel like being left alone. I have read your posts at various places over Lindaland and I know all of you hurt inside and are too brave/stubborn/hurting to really express it. So it means a lot to me when you guys reach out to me. I feel so much bettr knowing I have wonderful people looking out for me. IP: Logged |
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