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Author Topic:   My lovely Cancer
abinormal
Knowflake

Posts: 34
From: Great Falls, MT
Registered: Aug 2004

posted November 15, 2005 03:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for abinormal     Edit/Delete Message
I have the most wonderful cancer in my life right now as a friend. Sometimes I see him as more than that, but am unable to decipher him...mabye all you wonderful folks out there can tell me what you think of all of this.

I have been friends with him for around 2 years, but grew closest to him within the last year. It started out that he was just always around me and my best friend who I hung out with daily, so in turn I started seeing him daily. Well, when my bff and his roomate moved in with me for a short span, naturally the cancer started staying at my place all of the time, well to put it this way since last June I think he has not stayed at my place only 5 times, not including the week he went out of town, oh yeah at this time my bff (not anymore alas), and his roomate have moved out for the past 2.5 months, so now it is just me and cancer.

Well I guess its the little things that get to me the most. He has this way of looking at me and just locking eyes for a bit, that I have never experienced with anyone else, even if we are in a crowded room. How I am the only one allowed to touch his feet, and tells me that I am the only one to ever rub his feet for him. How he will wait to hold the door for me. How ****** he gets when our other friend talks down on women when I am around even though I don't really like other women (I am about the only girl that hangs out with all guys). How when one day I was in a bad mood and had alot of stuff to do and was in and out of my apt. without telling anyone where I was going and I guess some friends told me that as soon as i left that he got all sullen and went into his room by himself till I came home. I have never effected anyone like that before! How when my gemini moods shift before I know it and hit a slump of depression he will ask me what is wrong before i even know it has hit me. he can read me like no one i have ever met before, specially in my moods. He is around me all the time, and never leaves my side unless I am going to work or family gathering. oh and above all else, we sometimes seem to think one another is mad at each other, but he will always no matter what say sorry to me even if we aren't mad at each other, but just to say sorry for making me think he was mad.........nobody has ever done that, not even past boyfriends.

I guess i can't list them all, but what I wanted to ask from all of you is that I am 6 years older than him, and a wee bit taller, and do not know if this is something or mabye i am just around him too much and putting things in my head. I trully adore him. So what do you guys think..I don't have much experience with cancer males so i don't know how they act when they like someone.

my info:
Sun Gemini 23°14'570 1
Moon Scorpio 17°49'540 6
Mercury Cancer 04°20'140 2
Venus Cancer 11°11'000 2
Mars Gemini 06°31'450 1
Jupiter Libra 00°54'310 5
Saturn Libra 03°04'100 5
Uranus Scorpio 27°03'390 6
Neptune Sagittarius 23°29'240 7
Pluto Libra 21°37'000 6
True Node Leo 02°21'380 3
Ascendant Gemini 02°12'58
2nd House Gemini 26°51'03
3rd House Cancer 18°39'52
Imum Coeli Leo 12°07'59
5th House Virgo 11°24'50
6th House Libra 19°49'51
Descendant Sagittarius 02°12'58
8th House Sagittarius 26°51'03
9th House Capricorn 18°39'52
Medium Coeli Aquarius 12°07'59
11th House Pisces 11°24'50
12th House Aries 19°49'51

His info:
Sun Cancer 08°28'48 10
Moon Leo 28°28'35 11
Mercury Cancer 13°41'33 10
Venus Gemini 23°52'28 09
Mars Cancer 26°14'14 10
Jupiter Aries 25°54'28 07
Saturn Sagittarius 16°19'57 03
Uranus Sagittarius 24°09'13 03
Neptune Capricorn 06°34'15 04
Pluto Scorpio 07°13'59 02
True Node Aries 06°27'04 07
Ascendant Libra 05°05'21
2nd House Scorpio 00°28'27
3rd House Sagittarius 01°10'07
Imum Coeli Capricorn 06°16'19
5th House Aquarius 10°55'42
6th House Pisces 10°45'25
Descendant Aries 05°05'21
8th House Taurus 00°28'27
9th House Gemini 01°10'07
Medium Coeli Cancer 06°16'19
11th House Leo 10°55'42
12th House Virgo 10°45'25

Sorry for such a long post. Thanks

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cancerrg
Knowflake

Posts: 1539
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted November 16, 2005 11:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
ah, well wont really be helpful to u in astrological terms , i am novice at it .
but yeah , trying to help in a general way of what i think about this realtion , i being the cancer male with almost same chart as your man . and we have a lady here with your kind of chart , mainly the sun and the moon.( and to tell u something not so secret , she hates cancer males )


so what do we start with , with the bad news or the good news

ok, first the bad news: the attitude that u are finding so adorable now, are u sure u wont find them burden some after a period .
wont u think he is curtailing your freedom , he actually isn't but his excessive caring nature might be hurtful later on . u gotta decide on this .

again, his first concern is going to be family , are u sure , u can adjust to the idea . geminis being known for thier flightiness . once u are in the relation , there is no going out of it , for cancers . thats thier philosphy . thats the reason they can esaily create faith even on the suspicious caps and scorps .

as far as i understand these are the two major issues , that u gotta decide .


ok now the good part: i really think cancers and gems do attract eachother . i have a lot of male gem friends .know a few females too , never been romantically involved but i have found them to be very nice people . infact one of them is a sis in law of mine , we have met just once in the last six yrs. , normally talk on phone but that too in months but when ever we do , i always feel we have known eachother for so long .
its the same with the other woman too , she is my friends' gf .
my point, we sure have something in common .

cancers and gems do have a lot in common . my gem male friend has a cancer gf .

there are a lot of things that i personally like about them , they dont hold grudges as we do , they are adoptable - we are not (infact cancers dont really change for anyone) they normally avoid taunts that we do too . good to talk to .

the only thing that i am wary of is , a cancer should always know where he/she stands in a person's life . and my feeling is ,this a major problem area with gems .
with gems , u dont even know if u are in thier good books even after ,say , a realtion thats ten yrs. old bcos gems can simply sit on thier emotions .

lastly,if u think positively, this can be quite a fulfilling realtion but will sure have bumps too

feel free to ask , if u think anything confusing about your crab , they can be very confusing to u ppl .


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abinormal
Knowflake

Posts: 34
From: Great Falls, MT
Registered: Aug 2004

posted November 16, 2005 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for abinormal     Edit/Delete Message
Hey cancerrg .. hehe I was kinda hoping that you would see this post since i had seen previously that you had some similarities to my cancer.

Ok, to start with the 2 problems that you see.
1- when you are talking about him curtailing my freedom??? explain this one a bit more to me please. Now, I know that I have alot of cancer traits in myself, and sometimes I can be a homebody, and sometimes it is him that pushes me out of the house..its funny he gets bored more often than I do! ha. And there have been times that we have gotten in a mini spat about him going out with out me and vica versa, its funny because he always expects me to act more hurt about things like him going out with other friends and me not going too, but I just tell him to go, I don't really at all care...hehe i know he will be coming back. I think it has a bit to do with what I was talking about earlier that he can read me more than anyone else, because if he tells me he is going somewhere, in my head I will be down for a moment (not that he is going out without me, but because my brain kicks into gear about what to do with myself and who I should call) but he seems to pick up on that moment of downness and calls me on it. Its like he takes my actions personally, but I sometimes do the same so I am able to get around those moments gracefully.

ok 2- He never wants children, nor do I. he doesn't have a close relationship with his mom, in fact he pretty much hates her. He is not close to his family just his sis and dad, but thats not even really that close. He stopped staying at his dads when he started staying at my house all the time, he tells me it is because he gets really depressed being by himself out there, so when I hear this I think to myself that he is around because of circumstances and not because he really wants to be around me all the time. What do you think about this?? its things like that, that confuse me about my feelings. its like the little things that I see him do for me, but not for anyone else.
i don't know.

How do you express yourself when you like a girl (specially if you where friends first)?
and how would I go about to see if he has feelings like that?
In the relationships in your past, have they been slow to bloom or do you usually rush in? i just have nothing to go on for him, i have only known of 2 of his girlfriends but only after he had broken up with them (we weren't hanging out yet). He has always been really secretive about his relationships to all of his friends when he was with a girl so I have never seen how he goes about getting with a chick. (ie. how do I woo him, hehe.)

About emotions...I really don't think that is a problem with me..once something bothers me emotionally i have to confront it or it drives me nuts, I always let people know where they stand with me weither it be good or bad. We are always very open to each other about how we feel, even if it is because one of us hurt each other, we bring it up and always turns into a "I'm sorry, I didn;t mean it that way" and then life presumes.

Sorry for the long post again, but i have no one to talk about this to here because all of my friends are his friends basically and I do not need this to get out and back to him, i don't think that the right way to find something out. Thanks for all you input.

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cancerrg
Knowflake

Posts: 1539
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted November 17, 2005 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
really !
hey, if i was sounding like him , u could have directly asked rather than waiting for me see the post .feel free .always.


curtailing your freedom : i didn't mean his pushing u out of house .... lol .
i'll give u an example , my gem friend with cancer asc has a cancer gf , they both are from muslim conservative backgrounds , so have a lot of similarities in societal terms . he says normally he gets irritated by the excessive care that she takes , there would be std calls even if its just a simple fever . and thats what , irrtates him . but for cancers , its very normal to take care in that way .

my point is gem like to be free of anything, even care. they like it but it has to be in a detached way which we dont really understand . for us connection means being there , day in and day out.

everyone likes care , infact all my friends say (including the air ppl) my caring nature did help them connect with me .but excess of anything especially with air ppl irritates them .
gem represent logic and cancers - emotions and that too both at thier extremes .

my question to u is , can u cope up with his dramatic emotions , will u be able to handle once he is in his shell .
and will he able to handle u , when u are at detached best .
if u both understand eachother in these scenarios , u are fine . if not , u should .

as far as i am concerned , i like gem women , and i think they can be the one for me but i am not very sure of other cancers . a cancer friend of mine was with a gem for four months but they couldn't really understand it eachother , he is now with a scorp for the last one yr.

let me think on the second part , ok . give me some time .

ah,and feel free to ask anything .

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abinormal
Knowflake

Posts: 34
From: Great Falls, MT
Registered: Aug 2004

posted November 17, 2005 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for abinormal     Edit/Delete Message
You seemed suprised that I would have wanted you to see this, haha. I swear I am not stalking !! Its not so much that you were sounding like him, but I knew that you had some similar placements. And plus I didn't really feel comfortable to directly reach out for someones help that I had never had any interaction with before. but now I know!! thanks.

You know you asked a really good question. Can I cope with his dramatic emotions?? Ok, I think so. For example, a month or so ago he was really depressed for a good week or so, and I wanted to help but he wasn't really talking to anyone about why he was sad, just saying that he was and that was it. Well he wanted to drink one night, and me being a pushover for him (and to the fact that one of my older best friends a Leo used to drink in our depressions together, I know doesn't sound like it would help, but it helped us form a crazy strong bond that we could get drunk together when we are both depressed and just vent together, hehe) well we ended up drinking some beers together at a friends house. Well that was the time he started to open up a bit, well that same week I had been really depressed because I was contemplating some MAJOR life changes for me, so me being drunk started to list out my problems too. Well he was trying to make his seem so much more than mine, so we got into the discussion that all peoples problems are relative to their experiences and how I wasn't trying to compete with who was saddest. Long story short I got up and left him there. Once I got home i knew in my heart I messed up a bit, but I was going to go back and get him in like 20 minutes, well not even 10 minutes passed and he had walked home, which means he had to have left right after me. He went straight into his room. I followed him a moment later and asked if I could come in and he sayed ok, he was crying on his bed not saying anything, so I went over and sat with him and just told him its ok to be sad but I was going to be there no matter what happens or what mood he is in, and that he is my favorite. I try to make sure I tell him that every so often. Well lets just say by the end of the night I got him out of his room and in a better mood, gosh and all it took was a foot rub, .

So Tell me if I am right on this one or not. i think I have it, because when i am in a funk sometimes i wander off and in the back of my head I just wish someone would come find me, So i do that for him. When he goes into his shell i just let him know that he can be in there and i won't be mad, but to let him know that I am waiting outside for him. He usually is very forthright in telling me what mood he is in, or in confronting me when he thinks I may be mad at him, but I mean really now. I can't ever be mad at him, all he has to do is flash me his blue eyes and lock stares for a moment and i am mush. He has even found out my weakness for the sad face, haha anytime you need something from me flash me a sad face and I melt. Lets just say he has that perfected now, he is so spoiled all he has to do is say that he is hungry and I am in the kitchen cooking, he is waited on hand and foot by me, huh, who knew you could a gem to do that!

Thanks for chatting rg - your fun!!

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Isolaede
Knowflake

Posts: 193
From: Studio City, CA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted November 17, 2005 08:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isolaede     Edit/Delete Message
Hey you:

I’m not the best person to speak to the astrological aspects that bind you together – there are so many people here with more knowledge and wisdom. However, just based on my limited understanding I can see why you are drawn to one another... Your Mercury’s are both conjunct in Cancer which means you communicate in a manner the other understands. Also his Venus is conjunct your sun, and your Venus is conjunct his Sun. His Mars is conjunct your Venus and your Venus is conjunct his Mars. There’s a lot of room for a deep understanding and connection there.

As a fellow Cancer, I can however speak with some confidence on how Cancer’s behave in love. Most of us are too shy to come right out and directly approach the object of our affection so we tend to linger around hoping the other person will see our care an attention for what it is – an indirect statement of affection. The most obvious sign that your Cancer likes you (on whatever level) is the fact that he’s spending as much time with you as possible. Cancer’s also tend to be protective and motherly to those they care about. He’d try to make you feel special and cared for, which it seems like he’s definitely doing. All in all, from my experience I’d say your Cancer’s affection for you is obvious. He wont’ rush in – that’s for sure. Cancers have a debilitating fear of rejection, so you can expect him to be a very slow mover until he’s sure of your affection. After that he’ll want to grab hold of you tightly.

If you want things to go anywhere with him any time in the next century you’ll probably have to make the first move. So now you just need to decide if … 1- you are willing to be brave enough to make the first move, and 2- You are willing to do what it takes to care for his sensitive feelings. #2 is a big one – Air and Water combinations can definitely work, but you poor air signs should go into the relationship well warned.

We Crabs can be tricky to deal with. When you get the chance go and read through Linda’s Star Signs description of Cancers. Read the general, male, and female sections. Don’t gloss over any of it – it’s ALL TRUE. Haha. Take it from a Cancer dating another Cancer.

To summarize some of the pitfalls for you… Crabs are gentle little creatures, and it can be hard for air signs to really grasp just how tender they are. Even with a Scorpio moon you might struggle dealing with his changing moods. If you are considering a romantic relationship, you’ll need to reassure him constantly. He won’t ask for it, just believe me he will need it. You’ll have to tell him before you disappear from parties – never forget to say goodbye. That would be a major no no with a crab. Call, e-mail and keep in contact frequently (probably every day). If you are huge on personal freedom you might have some issues. He’ll want to spent a ton of time around you at first (and maybe forever) – you might feel a bit smothered. You’ll need to be in tune with his moods and never let him slip into that shell of his. If he emotionally withdraws and you don’t follow and pull him out with care and patience, you stand a good chance at loosing him. It won’t happen immediately, but it will begin a slow, sad process. You may also have to deal with the ever annoying (to other people) Cancer sulk if you don’t catch him early enough. You are going to have to really harness your empathy and work at reading between the lines too, because not a lot of crabs (especially young ones) come out and just tell you how they feel. Even if he told you how he felt before when you were just friends it will probably change some after you are in a relationship. It’s that icky fear of rejection coming up again. Cancers want you to either know or ask what’s wrong. It’s not that they are trying to be secretive – they just are not sure you really care. Make sense?

I probably sound like I’m trying to scare you off – please believe I’m not. These are just some of the more challenging aspects of my sign. I have been guilty of ALL of these classic Cancer tactics. I think everyone should be aware of these things before engaging in a relationship with a Cancer. Especially air and fire signs. We’re really easy to deal with as long as you understand us – and that’s not an easy task. Here’s a simple rule though – emotional withdrawal means you’ve hurt us or made us afraid or we’re struggling with something. We’d really like your help and will be hurt if you don’t reach out and hold onto us.

Sounds simple, right? Cancer’s really are lovely – you’ll have a hard time finding a more grounded, loyal, or caring companion. If you’ve made it through all of this and are still interested in trying for something more with your crab, then cook him up a nice batch of cookies or some dinner, take it to him and tell him you’ve grown a bit addicted to him. Then lay down all the things you’ve told us here. Your honest confession of how much he means to you will melt his heart. Crabs love to feel needed and appreciated. If you feel insecure about laying your heart on the line too much, or want to avoid being to aggressive you can close by telling him you aren’t sure if a relationship would be possible, because you aren’t sure of his feelings, but you felt it would be wrong to not express how much you admire him. That gives you an out, but doesn’t take away from your overall message. I hope this helps! : )

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cancerrg
Knowflake

Posts: 1539
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted November 18, 2005 12:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
ok, lets start with where i left it .

his having a bad realtion with his family in no way means he doesn't care about them .

he will always be there , if they need him.
i am in the same condition as him but i know i'll be there for people even though i dont even have any emotions attached to them ( good or bad , i am just unemotional to them, it has a lot to do with hurt and ego)

again, not wanting children : just being a cancer doesn't mean ( even if with heavy water in chart)u need children . i dont want them at present , i am not even planning to marry atleast for six or seven yrs.
infact i dont talk much to children , i find it burden some , i dont talk much to my niece . but it doesn't mean i dont want children , i want them but not now . same with him , i believe . (btw, i have given my example but its all based on my cancer exp. . i feel libras and gems can be much comfortable with children )

why he is with u : i feel the answer lies in both the specualtion that u made .
but , something that needs to be marked is , he could have been with other friends too , he is with u means u are above them .logic!


when i like a girl : its tough for me to go and ask her out . i have done it just once in my life ! i have been in love but the first one was a childhood friend and second , i just knew her . in both the cases , we both knew , i never had to say anything .
but when i think now, i would be more sure of the second one mainly bcos it was more pronounced ( she was a cancer too and a lot like me , short tempered! )
so words are important .

coming back to how i express my self , just refer to what isoleade said. i always prefer that way but now i have become a bit more smart , i try to give words to my feelings , now. i just asked a girl , a few days back.

quote:
and how would I go about to see if he has feelings like that?

Even if he doesn't have the feeling till now , (and if u want a realtion) just be there , cancers dont take much to get attracted . as for real love , even wont ever tell u , if he doesn't love u mainly bcos they dislike breaking someone's heart( especially someone in your type of case , i have been in that situation , infact the second girl that i talked of , said something indirectly to me , i didn't give much heed to her moves ,intially mainly bcos we had a big eight yrs difference though i liked her but ofcourse that likeness did change into love , here again the main reason was bcos she was there , if she had not been , whoknows . i infact grew fond of her very slowly .
so being there is important .

so if u want to know your place in his life , ask him bluntly and be ready for a blunt answer . he wont lie at that time but u dont do it now bcos u are still to say something, isn't it?

again, cancers are secretive about thier families , infact this one of few things that they can lie about .
thats why he didn't disclose about his gfs . if u his gf , u are his family.

i my self avoid even talking to the girl , i mentioned , in public . the first time that i asked her , i waited for almost a month to find a very private moment ( and the fear os rejection took some six months of mine)

to woo him: just be yourself . just let him know , u care . u dont need anything more.


and remember one fact , cancers always return for people that they care for , come what so ever . no ego for them , but dont ever manipulate him ,he 'll sure know .

they might be angry for a moment but u'll see the smiling face next moment .i believe , u'll have to work to understand when he is real angry and when he is those moon induced moods . but if they get to know they are being used , dont ever expect anything . u are simply out of thier system .
no questions asked , no answers given.

quote:
So Tell me if I am right on this one or not

YEAH, i think u are !

btw, do u know , they way u have described yourself , it sounds so realistic . infact this is way , my gem friends have described themself .
i feel , gems here haven't been as forth right .

btw, do u feel gems are selfish people in comparison to say, cancers . how would u rate both of them and in what aspects . selfish can be very broad term , i feel .

and do u feel gems have an inferiority complex or rather air signs ?

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cancerrg
Knowflake

Posts: 1539
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted November 21, 2005 12:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
the flighty gem!

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abinormal
Knowflake

Posts: 34
From: Great Falls, MT
Registered: Aug 2004

posted November 22, 2005 01:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for abinormal     Edit/Delete Message
HAHAHA - are you saying I am flighty??? i am awestruck by such and observation, hehehe. Ok Ok so i haven't been around for a couple of days, but I didn't leave you forever , just on one of flights .

Isolaede - Oh don't worry about scaring me off, you haven't at all!! In fact it just makes me want to hold on to my crab a little bit tighter. i worry thought that if I come out with how I feel then I have the possibility of making him run away. There are so many things that he does that makes me thinks he cares somtimes, but i still have so much doubt, I think alot has to do with age difference though, and i just don't know if he feels that way and don't want to make him leery of me from now on. it is hard for me to interpet because in the past i can tell with guys because they will get a bit more touchy i guess you could say, but with him it is in a more fun playful way, like he will out of nowhere just toss a pillow at me while I am on the sofa or while I am walking by he will atempt to mock trip me or do some karate move on me. Is this a cancer thing???? I mean i have been told that usually when a guy will pick on you in little fun ways that it is his way of saying he likes you , but arghhh that sounds so elementry school, but i guess i can't say that my flirting is any better.

RG - ok the whole selfish thing.... I don't know. i will have to think about that one alot more, but for me since i do have venus/mercury in cancer I don't know if this has anything to do with how I work at least. i am an overly giving person at times. i will give you the shirt on my back if you are one of my friends, but that is the key word, IF you are one of my friends. i guess i can be cold to others at times, but I am like putty to anyone I care about, funnt thing is my mom and aunt are exactly like this as well, and they are both geminis, oh and my old best friend is like that also , yep shes a gem too.

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cancerrg
Knowflake

Posts: 1539
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted November 22, 2005 01:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
but with him it is in a more fun playful way, like he will out of nowhere just toss a pillow at me while I am on the sofa or while I am walking by he will atempt to mock trip me or do some karate move on me. Is this a cancer thing????

yeah it is .
to understand a cancer in love , u dont need big big self help books , u just need some elementary knowledge .
no doubt he could be in love and love isn't a big problem .

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Isolaede
Knowflake

Posts: 193
From: Studio City, CA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted November 22, 2005 07:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isolaede     Edit/Delete Message

Hey girl:

You worry too much! : ) haha – Me saying that is like the pot calling the kettle black. I tend to over analyze and worry myself to death instead of acting, and it sounds like you may be doing the same. In this case though, please don’t worry.

First of all, your crabs child like playfulness does sound like a sign of affection. When I’m mad about someone, I tend to go all shy, bashful, and playful. I guess it is a bit elementary school like. I can just see me bowing my head, blushing, and rubbing one foot through the sand at the play ground. : ) But honestly, at this point I’d like to point out that you truly are overanalyzing this situation. You are looking for some sign – ANY sign that he likes you instead of listening to the voice of your empathy. Girl, you have a Scorpio moon, and a Cancer Mercury / Venus. You are practically an empath. What is your intuition telling you? Listen to that.

Now, about your fears of scaring your crab away… Cancers tend to run when we THINK we are sensing something that makes us uncomfortable. For example, if he empathically picked up on the fact that you liked him, but didn’t return your feelings, he might not have the courage to ask you for fear of having to hurt you, so he’d run away. Well, in your case, I don’t see him running right now. And if he’s your typical crab he probably has a suspicion (or hope) that you like him. So take heart.

The trick with presenting things to your crab is doing so in a way that lets him know that you’ll care about him no matter what. So just tell him honestly that you like him. Then explain that you like him as more than a friend, but you’ve been afraid to say anything for fear of driving him away. That’s the gods’ honest truth, now isn’t it? Explain that your friendship with him is the most important thing to you, and you’d be happy being his friend for the rest of eternity, but you felt it would be wrong to not honestly tell him that part of you hoped for more. I can’t imagine any Cancer in their right mind running away from that. Cancers run away because they don’t like hurting people, and are too afraid to take risks. I think most Cancers have a deep and abiding love of honesty. It’s one of the reasons we get along so well (on a friendly level) with Sags. If everything is out in the open, then we have nothing to fear. So you’d probably relieve a lot of under the surface tension for both you AND your crab if you have the courage to do this. So you’ll be doing him a favor! Now, don’t start worrying again. At this point, you are just stressing yourself out. Be honest, and get this out of the way. You’ll feel so much better for it, and so will your crab I’m sure!

*hugs* Good luck, dear lady. Keep us posted!

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abinormal
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From: Great Falls, MT
Registered: Aug 2004

posted November 25, 2005 04:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for abinormal     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks you guys - and Isolaede you hit the nail right on the head, I do tend to over analyze EVERYTHING. haha, but it is funny how i am able to pick up on others feelings for other people but not for myself. I guess I was just looking for reasurrance that mabye I wasn't making up his signs of affection in my head.

It has just seemed that in the past when I have fallen for a guy that I seem to read things into it that are not there and the feelings are not returned and with my crab I don't want to do that at all.

I don't think I am at the stage right now to "out" myself with my feelings for him, I have some things in my life that I have to get under control before I am able to purse any sort of relationship.

I guess I am always unsure of potential relationships , I have only had one serious one in my life so I sometimes still feel like a little kid when trying to dechipher these things, so I guess the elementry school approach to flirting works dandy for me , hehehe. I am the same way sometimes when trying to show affection...it probably doesn't help that I am a major tomboy, so if you see something flying your way from my direction, you know I like ya.haha

RG- quick question to through at you..... what are the physical characteristics that you find yourself drawn to in women, or do you usually find yourself more attracted to personalities. I am asking because my crab and i are quite a bit different and i didn't know if that is something he can overlook....ie. I am like an inch and half taller, a bit heavier, and 6 years older. oh well

have a good one you guys

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cancerrg
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posted November 26, 2005 10:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
oh well the physical attributes , there are two scenarios ,the kind of women that i admire and the kind of women ( in terms of physical attributes )that i feel like going for .

first , i admire beauty , it can be kate moss or a drew barrymore . i like dusky beauties but then that has more to do with my nationality.


second,i like women to look like women . no kate moss for personal consumption , not even angelina jolie ( ok, i'll give her a chance ) i am more for drew barrymore kind of women .
height should be compatible with me .
plumpness isn't a big issue , that adds to the curves .( i have a simple philosphy , a man without an ego and a women without her assets are ******** )

and he sure isn't overlooking anything , incase he is serious .

i feel height and age can be an issue but lets put the rider , my childhood friend whom i have always loved was same as you . an inch above me , curvaicious but same age as me .

better take a realistic look at it , if he is in love , nothing counts . i can bet on this .
so the point is , how do u know if is in love .
let me again remind, it doesn't take much for a cancer to fall in love . he might be secretly in love .


again, between personality and physical attribute , i would always opt for personality . canceres want thier spouses to be beautiful , mainly bcos they dont have much faith in thier own beauty but if u compare personality and physical attributes , they always opt for the first bcos they are thinking of life long realtions and in a life long realtion physical beauty doesn't count. they know this.


my feeling , you are all ok from my point of view in every which way .

just be cool , just show that u care , u dont need anything else .
if gems can do that , they'll always find a cancer suitor but the problem is gem gals dont really do that .
except for flightiness and may be flirtness to an extent , i dont think there is anything that i dislike about gems .i love them but they need to show they care too .

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abinormal
Knowflake

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From: Great Falls, MT
Registered: Aug 2004

posted November 26, 2005 02:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for abinormal     Edit/Delete Message
hahaha - its so funny that you mention drew barrymore ..... i have been told most of my life my face looks like hers. yay!

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sthenri
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From: Generic New England City
Registered: May 2003

posted November 26, 2005 05:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
Isolaede, do you believe there is something like being too sensitive to a Cancer? After all I have found the best reassurance for a Cancer male is simple physical affection. if it becomes a habit it's a lot easier than remembering to pick up emotions because the emotions are everywhere.

I once tried to use that advice on a Cancer male and I ended up listening to a story about a lost dog-in the end he just really needed to be held.

With Mercury in Gemini/7th house, I forget that fact quite a bit.

So that's my two cents,
Cancers seem to need TONs of cuddling.

Natasha

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cancerrg
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posted November 27, 2005 03:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Cancers seem to need TONs of cuddling

no doubt about that . i like it and i normally do that to people , it makes them connect.
what better if your woman or man can reciprocate in the same language .

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abinormal
Knowflake

Posts: 34
From: Great Falls, MT
Registered: Aug 2004

posted November 28, 2005 03:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for abinormal     Edit/Delete Message
oh I would love to cuddle with my crab, but alas he is not a very touchy person. hmmm, mabye one day

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abinormal
Knowflake

Posts: 34
From: Great Falls, MT
Registered: Aug 2004

posted December 24, 2005 02:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for abinormal     Edit/Delete Message
Just wanted to update:

Well I never though I would see the day and i was very close to just not even ever worrying if anything was ever going to happen to us...... well as of this morning (around 7am) HE made the first move. I was astonished! But oh my god.... now that he has taken that leap he is so affectionate and a cuddler, which I honestly never thought he would be like that because of how he was not a very touchy person.. it was hard just getting him to give a hug somedays. When i was leaving for work this morning, he was so sad and just kept saying "don't go to work"..."i don't want you to leave" ..... crazy how much of a switch he has made in only the last couple of hours, and now he acts like it is so hard not to see me for 6 hours. hehe. oh so happy and I never even had to do anything to put myself on the line, it all just happened so mutually. Thanks you guys for all of your imput that you had given me. It is always nice to get others perspectives.

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cancerrg
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posted December 25, 2005 05:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
and its always nice to listen to love stories !

good luck!

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sthenri
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Posts: 3844
From: Generic New England City
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posted December 26, 2005 06:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
HI, I love Cancer cuddling, but for me my ex Cancer b/f is not cuddly enough for me-his Mars in Libra wants to talk, verbally spar with me at the wrong times when I want to be quiet and caring.

It's so stressful being with someone this way, that my Taurus sun just wants to left alone, cause I don't like to feel that we are not a "we" when we are together. Too much of the I with him.

Still, another Cancer sent me a Christmas card this week with a mysterious signature-him Cancer/Taurus Sun-but again, another Libra mars!

Natasha

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