posted July 14, 2008 02:07 AM         

Okay, I am so CONFUSED and I hate where I am with this guy. I met the Cancer about 4 years ago. We never really got together as a couple. When we first met, I was all wrapped up the crazy Scorp it took me forever to get over. So, going back, I know he tried to be something more with me at some point, but I totally rejected him but didn't reject him. Like he came over to make dinner with me once, and he was all over me. But, I sort of didn't give him all of me, passion, full throttle, like I normally do. But we'd talk all the time on instant messenger. We weren't afraid to say anything to each other. It's funny because today, I know him so well and he knows me so well, emotionally. I think someone on here said it right, I can't remember who when she gave analogy of her son the Cancer versus her daughter. I never push him to go further than he's ready to go emotionally. And I love how aware of his emotions he is. I also love how he takes all this deep introspection of himself. But I do think he judges himself too harshly. Anyway. So, he left my hometown, which is a metropolitan of a place and returned to a further away place. Anyway to make a long story shorter. I'm never sure what we're doing. What we've been doing. You know? I feel like he pulls me close, then pushes me away with his little comments. Or maybe I'm to sensative. Like every time we talk I feel like he wants to to get to the reason why we never became a solidified couple. And I know it was for many reasons. For me, fear. But he asks me all these personal questions, makes all these personal statements like, he bought 1000 count sheets (I'm a little paranoid that he may have discovered this website but I'll say it) just for me because he knows I like them. Or he bought a chaise loung for me that's right next to his. That I need to hurry and come see him. And saying the same things over and over again, about me in some way, physically being with him. But me, all I can remember is the time I sent him a post regarding a Cancer man and he wrote back something like, "I thought you were through looking up Cancer man stuff" then he ended with "not happening" or something like that. I still have that email and read it every now and then to remind me of the emotional toil he's capable of causing in my life if I give into his little endearing words of come see me...So, about a month he calls me after about a week and a half of not hearing from me to tell me the whole story of how he's hooking back up with his old girlfriend from college. Part of me felt like, why in the HE** are you telling me this? The other part felt like a friend, like, cool, maybe it'll work out for you. Both completely honest reactions. Anyway, he tells me how she looks good and she's got that sexual thing going on like me. So, what am I to do but back off. I don't ccall him after that. I don't contact him. I wanted to give him room to love. Right? It hurt but I figure it will really HURT if I call and say, I realize I love you so don't go there...which I wasn't really willing to do because I'm not sure if I love him that way. Or if I told him that and he'd say, something that'll crush me. Secondly, I didn't know if all those emotions that went trhough me when he told about the other woman had to do with just the feeling of loss I generally get. It's hard for me to let go of good relationships that I've carved out. So, I chose to let it dwindle away, so I can finally move on. But no. He calls me like two weeks later. And I catch him up on a new job I had, with a crazy lady as my boss. Going from one nutso woman to a wackier one. And I my gosh I wanted to call him and tell him as I was going through it all but I didn't. Because I wanted to finally distance myself even more to avoid the possible heartache. I hate experiencing a brokenheart. It actually hurt and I don't like the pain. Anyway...so he calls me. And now the story changes. I say, well I haven't called "you" because you have a new love interest. And then he starts saying those things to me again. The sheets comments. The chaise lounge just for me. Making love to me on his balcony. All that stuff. And I say, you know you can't talk to me like that with a girlfriend. And he says, she's not his girlfriend. It goes on and on. Until now it's the same thing. Though he did tell me at that point he hadn't slept with her though he had plans to the upcoming weekend to where he later told me he did and it was cool but I could teach her a some things, and it was back to--"so when are you coming again???"

Funny though. My sister told me that when he told me about the other woman, he knew what he was doing and was trying to feel me out for a reaction. I didn't buy that. Though I knew it was totally possible. I just felt we're friends and I left the door open for such conversation. As well as conversation about how he does that thing he does with that thing he has sort of conversation. By the way, I'm a Venus in Leo. And the talk of the other woman, well, it's still tough to get past. I'm so dang confused as to what I want and what he wants, and it's an endless cycle of confusion. So, here's the other and final deal to this long saga of a story. I'm looking for another job now. I was going to fly out to see him next month, just so I can know. But then I thought, why am I putting myself out for a guy?????? I mean, he's employed, I'm not. Though I know South Cali brings up bad memories for him. He did mention something about us meeting half way. And we'll work soemthing out. But a large part of me, wants to say, if he wants me then he should come and get me. But then, I think, maybe he doesn't want me. But then I know he does. But maybe not as much as I require. Venus in Leo. Right? Or maybe he does as much as I require but is too afraid to show it. And I'm afraid of him showing it.

WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!

LOL!!!

Or did I totally confuse you all????
(delete)

So, can someone shed some light on this? Pretty please.

posted July 14, 2008 04:21 AM         

I feel uncomfortable with people testing my feelings for them, trying to get reactions from me and trying to make me jealous because I can see it a mile away and it just becomes irritating - so I usually let go of such people no matter how deeply I feel for them because I justify it by saying that if he felt anything for me, he would let me know directly or indirectly but CLEARLY so that I do know. If you go on a mission to confuse me, I take that as a bit of inconsideration for me.

And he tells you he slept with another woman. That is a deal breaker. That is telling me that you are not into me because if I was into you i would try by all means to make you feel safe and secure as far as how I feel for you. But, that's me. I can be too nice.

But yes, if I have shown you my feelings clearly, by paying attention to you, giving part of myself and making time for you out of my busy schedule and basically making you a priority, for you to turn around and play games, I mourn your loss and cut my losses.

The thing is, I am clear about my feelings when I have feelings for a person. If the person is unclear about theirs or if they are trying to make a union a soap opera, they can forget it. He knows where you live. He knows your number, you IM and email, therefore he can make his move when he has grown some b@lls.

I am a Virgo Venus, Scorpio Asc and Scorpio Mars and Cancer Moon on the MC. So, I am a feeling type of person. Intense. I have to hold myself back but even so, I am still intense.

So, I would deem him a friend, or someone I am acquainted with, no matter how vulnerable I let myself be with him in the past, and end it there until he grows up a bit.

Games are childish. He does not need reassurance of his own feelings. If he likes you, he likes you. Period. He doesn't need to test you to find out how he feels.

posted July 14, 2008 12:11 PM         

And yeah, Unmoved, I'm sort of close to that spot you're talking about. BUT, in all due fairness, I can't flip the script as they say. I mean, he hears about mine in the same manner, which is why I'm obligated to hear him out. You know? Like he's heard all about me and Scorp #2 in February. And how eventhough Scorp #2 blew it with the chance to ever get back with me sexually, EVER AGAIN by playing Scorpio games that affected my Venus in Leo, we are still friends and we still talk. So...that's why the Cancer and I HAVE TO see each other again. It's been a while since we saw each other. He left LA in Decemember of last year and we have this sort of cosmic connection, it's really strange but we just know when to call each other. And I hadn't called him and he hadn't called me for months (I was screwing around with Scorp #2, climbing the jetties at the beach at night, driving deep into the mountains and finding desolate spots...I'm one of those adventerous Virgos!). Anyway, so I got this urge to call the Cancer and he was just an hour from making his final payment to the landlord, packing his car and driving home. But we stayed in touch. We talk. He was going through a real tough time and I let him know that I believe in him, because I do. But there's only one thing I don't care for in him and that's that self punishment thing he's got going. Anyway...So, as you can see, I had to sit there and listen to the story about the other woman. We are not and were not a couple. But we did/do have passionate sex. Great conversation. And a deep friendship. So, we probably should be a couple. But I am trying to enter the iron gates of Hollywood here in LA, and I'm so close and can't turn back. Part of me does want to smoke him out, make him get so desperate to see me that he makes all the moves. I rarely ever contact him first. He's always making the calls or texts. But when I do text him or email him he responds. the calling is a different story. He has to be in the mood to talk. I probably answered it all here. Maybe we can meet in Vegas! Not for a wedding but it's cheap for me! LOL! And cheaper for him! And can be FUN! He said something about Phoenix or something. So, he's getting ansty. But as you know his moods fluctuates. And actually so does mine. Sighhh....What am I saying????? LOL!
Maybe I'm scared to death of what possibly can be. But I know once he's with ME, he's with ME. In the past, he's only called me, well...hmmmm... I think he was still going out with the other Virgo when he called me once out of the blue to be with him. I got with him but he kept denying they were together. I think the relationship was rocky. She was a nagging Virgo. I don't nag, EVER. It's counterproductive, and people have to learn their next step I can't pound it into them--even if I think I know what's going to happen. And then, he later got another girlfriend that moved from the east coast into his apartment, and he called me one night and asked could he please come over. I was like dude, you have a girlfriend and you know how I feel about that. Plus, I was on the verge of ridding Scorp #1 out of my mind and heart forever. And Scorp #1 lived with me but in a platonic way. So, I think NOW for the first time are paths are really ready to converge. And I'm scared to death! But I'm not. But I am....Gemini Moon... LOL! That moon just takes over and gets me in all sorts of predicaments! Anyway....

posted July 15, 2008 02:24 PM         

Leave your practical self and ask him to leave his .
and i mean it .

this is a situation where cancerians normally are , i am surprised , you too threw yourself in the same pit .
come out of it and if you can help your cancer do it too (he can't do it himself , actually he is trying by his hints )

you should do all this bcos this man loves you , infact he has tried to initiate things too in his own confusing crabby (incase you are expecting some Knight in a shinning armor , better forget him) i know all this silly but thats the cancerian package .

posted July 15, 2008 05:14 PM         

Cancerg- hints? I'm perceptive as far as practical matters but when it comes to love I need concrete stuff. Many a woman has sobbed on her pillow at night because she was reading hints that meant something else i.e. I like you but not that much. So, I know it's probably cowardice but those hints had better be crystal clear or else, off with your head.

posted July 15, 2008 08:12 PM         

I do remember feeling DEEPLY, I don't know, moved, I guess, when he told me about the woman. So right now I can't even trust where the depth of this comes from. Like, he calls me on his way to meet her for dinner. And I wonder if we just have the Cancer/Virgo friendship thing going, rather than the love thing. But I kept going from one extreme to the next. Tell him I love him and forget about her. To...Maybe he was never supposed to me meet me and she's his "fate" being that used to go to college together and now she's miraculousy working at the same company he's working at. So, I let time tell me something. Truthfully, I hate the idea of being hurt so much, that I can easily let him go if I have to. And so that's what I did. And I still don't mind doing. So, though I'm not actively looking for love. I'm not closed to it. But CancerGG, if he's in love with me, it's almost news to me. I mean, I truly believe he feels something. But I did our synastery once, and I believe it. He likes the way I look enough to keep me around for four years. I'm his physical fantasy. But what happens when I've eaten the wrong thing and my stomach reacts and it's all coming out both ways and I look a mess???? You're both right...maybe I should do the hard thing, and let the time and space just fade us away from each other....

posted July 16, 2008 01:19 PM         

Chapter closed !
lets talk about something else .......

posted July 16, 2008 04:47 PM         

I have a cancer moon, so I can kind of "get" what your crab guy is doing (not the sleeping with the other woman thing, unless he thinks you are sleeping with someone?). We love very deeply and like "permanently" so we want to be sure that you are the one.

posted July 16, 2008 04:49 PM         

quote:

---

"If you go on a mission to confuse me, I take that as a bit of inconsideration for me. "

---

posted July 16, 2008 06:17 PM         

I mean, I feel like I'm about to take a step further... And...no...I haven't told him he's confusing me.

See...he's way in the midwest now and I'm in LA. But I want to see him, you know? I may have to wait until September now. Personally, I'd love to wait and let the day by day grow us closer together as it has done over the years. BUT...the other woman...BUT, she's an Aries, LOL! She's actually making him cling tighter to me! LOL! Maybe everything that makes me the IMPULSIVE me has got me running around like that poor chicken....So, you see CancerGG, I can't forget about it! I, Guess, I--Sort of--love him???? Yeah. I love him.

Hey, LetsDance, that Venus in Leo is a difficult thing to manuvuer. Just as tough as those Scorpios! LOL. Woe, I've hit the Scorpio wall. But, my sisters are Aquarians and my mom. So, yeah, you would follow this pattern of thought. BUT...LOL!!! Here's what I learned about the Lovely Aquarians...Extremely smart and deep thinking but HARD HEADED, and can talk themselves to believe and act in the contrary of what they KNOW. So, now that I get that, I'll sort of nudge and leave. Like, ask those questions to get them thinkng more--and listen to them defend what they know is wrong, but not really convincing themselves and surely not me, until like weeks later, when what they know would happen, happens...just because they put me through tongue holding hades, I'll give them a slight--I told you so...LOL! I love the Aquarians! :-) Good luck with the Scorp. They're tough. If you have a better job, smart and on the track to make a lot of money...watch out! LOL! They like they're women a step below them. One of them told me, he can't have a woman who does what he does for a living. And interesting, both of them that I've been with--again for years--would mirror me. Like do what I do, or say what I'd say. And I think that's WEIRD. For instance, I went to go visit one of them, and I take a lot of showers. The Virgo thing. So, that night I took a bath in the round tub. Then, he took a bath. In the morning, I took a shower. He took a shower. Then when we got mad at each other, he stopped taking the showers! LOL! So, he mentions later, after I get home, the number of showers I took. Like, dude??? And the other, he copied me in the same way. And both put me on this pedestal that no human can stand on. Strange.....One of them is still my friend. No Benefits. But nothing has really changed other than we just don't have sex...Anyway...good luck with the Scorp. It'll be interesting to recieve some updates. Especially, knowing how intelligent and together Aquarian women are. Here's a question, can Scorpio men handle that?

posted July 16, 2008 10:31 PM         

As far as my "status", I don't get that feeling from him. I don't know how much money he makes, but I have a great career and he's always encouraging me to aim higher and offer his support. It does seem like he wants to impress me, though.

posted July 16, 2008 11:23 PM         

But YOU'RE SO RIGHT about letting it go and if it's worth it, then...it'll evolve to it. And I think, the other girl spooked me into where I am now. But I'm just going to relax and go back to where I was. If it works with him, then it works. If it doesn't then I wish him all the best and I definitely wish myself all the luck! I mean, I'm about to check my lottery numbers now! Maybe I won!!! :-))))

But he and I did have this strange exchange of text messages earlier today. Where I said, we should meet up in Vegas or something. To where he went silent on me. And that's the stuff I'm used to. Unfortunately, he hasn't changed. I mean, at least he could say, "nah, no time but good idea." Or, "not Vegas." But nothing???? That's why I can never trust my all to him. It's quite immature to me and I'm acting immature by reacting to it.

Thank YOU ALL for shaking me back to reality. From this moment on, I'm moving forward. And it took all the exchange of messages here for me to even suggest Vegas so that I can get the reaction that always shakes me back to reason. The truth is, I don't want a guy who goes so silent on me. And I don't want to reward him with my body now or in the future, and especially on his terms. I know better than that! So, decision made! :-)

Hey, Letsdance, what is that???? LOLOLOL!!! That copying thing. Isn't it STRANGE...LOLOLOL!!! But, yeah, the Scorps I've been involved with were very encouraging too. Like, "you can do it, Z". I mean, I'm a better writer because of Scorp #1. He never told me I was good when I wasn't. I owe a lot to him. They'll always do the instinctual thing even if it doesn't benefit them. That's what I like about them. You can always trust a Scorpio for the most part. But it sounds like you're in Scorpio heaven!! :-) Enjoy!!!

posted July 17, 2008 01:04 PM         

Really though. Mine is perfect for me, as my crazy Uranian brain always wants to solve puzzles and make sense of everything, so a Cancer boy is always interesting... and genuine and sweet. He is honest almost to a fault, but only if I ask for the truth.

All I can say is if it's worth it, you'll know. If it's not, you had a great experience (hopefully)