posted July 12, 2006 01:32 PM         

the next day, i texted him to say hello how are you, but he did not reply. 2nd day, i texted him again and did not get a reply. the third day i was already getting impatient. the guy who set me up with him called asking me for updates, but i could not tell him what happened. i said we went out twice and that he hasnt called yet. i dont know whats happening i said. guy friend said "dont tell him, but i want you to meet someone. this is the guy who saw you before". i was so shocked because all along i thought this guy i slept with was the guy who saw me before and liked me from that time onwards. and he went along with the story that he saw me before. so i was confident that he liked me even before. i said to myself i had to clear up things with him.

that day my office gave me a new mobile number so i saw that as an opportunity to contact him. i sent him a message giving my new number and can he please reply if he gets it? no reply. i called using my new number, he picked up and said "hello". i thought the line was choppy so i asked "can you hear me?" several times and he just said "hello". the line went dead. i was sure i could hear the background noise so i concluded he was at work (coffeeshop manager). i tried calling again like 5 times but he did not answer his phone. i sent a message saying "if your busy please tell me what time i should call. i have an important question. i juz spoke with our friend..." no reply at all. no call.

i concluded that maybe for him it was just a one-night stand. he lied to me by saying he's seen me before. by doing that he made believe that he liked me... i was angry with him. i was angry with my friend who set us up. i was angry with myself because i slept with him. had i not slept with him i couldnt have cared less if he did not call me for 1 year... (looking back, i think i had a lot of baggage that time thats why i did it, aside from the fact that i liked this guy. prior to all these i had not had a serious relationship for some 2 years. and at my age im sort of "pressured" to meet the right one).

that same night guy friend said "forget him. i will set u up with the guy who saw u before. he's more ok etc etc". so i went out with this guy. he's ok but i didnt like him as much as i liked the first guy. we went to his place and i ended up staying over because of some problems going back to my company accommodation. to make the story short, i slept with Guy # 2 maybe because i wanted to "erase" guy#1 and it had to be a radical move to be effective.

still no text or call from guy#1 on the fourth day. on the fifth day, he sent a message saying "sorry i was so busy the past days. hope you're doing fine. miss you baby". i felt so confused and angry and guilty all at the same time that i could not do anything but cry. i replied saying there's no excuse for sending me even just a brief message. i said i felt cheap becoz i slept with him on the 2nd date. and i started asking him about how he lied to me about having seen me before etc etc. he replied saying i should not make drama, dont pretend i am perfect, he was two doors away from me the other nite and i was with someone else. i didnt confirm or deny that i slept with guy#2. but his text basically said "just take care and avoid living a complicated life". i sensed that he's not interested anymore. i didnt want to be left hanging in the balance so i asked him what's it gonna be? he replied "we can be good friends if you want". i was so hurt so i replied with "Ok. i get what you mean. Wish you all the best. Godbless".

It's been two weeks since then and i cannot move on. we fought on text and ended it all on text. (i should not have started it becoz text messages don't say what we really mean). i know it was my fault becoz i could not wait. it was only 3 days that he did not contact me, why was i so impatient? had i waited 2 days more things would have been different. now i dont know what to do. i want to patch things up with him but im too afraid to make the move. im a scorpio and it would not be easy for me. i had been reading up about the scorpio male, something which i should have done before agreeing to seeing him. now i understand why he was like that. i wish i had seen this forum earlier. (btw, im not seeing guy #2 anymore becoz i am not attracted to him, although he's a good man, good husband material, etc.)

posted July 12, 2006 04:32 PM         

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I think most girls have been in your place before. It's NEVER easy, but scorpluv is right - the best thing for you to do is move on. It's hard, but it will be better for you in the long run. On the plus side, it's fortunate for you that you didn't have an exceptionally long amount of time invested in this guy. Believe me, there will be someone better for you when the time is right.

I think this is more of a "man" thing and less of a "scorpio man" thing. Grant it, I've dated a few scorps that behaved like this, but I've also dated several other signs that behaved in the same way. I think men are the kings of mixed signals. It always hurts, but you've got to get up and get out there again. "Vengeance sex" always sounds like a good idea at the time, but it never really works. Take some time for yourself for a while if you need to, then re-emerge in the dating world stronger and more confident - use that phoenix within! Best of luck to you!

posted July 13, 2006 07:44 PM         

That's the best way:>
Notice that when you think long term with a guy you get very stressed out and want to push???

That's why guys love to talk long term and pick girls who are looking for that because they are more easily manipulated.
Be charming and let men know you are looking for FRIENDS only-leave it at that and never let on what you think of him. He will always jump if you decide to get romantic.

Do not, worry about either experience but they are there to learn from.

A girl I know says never do the DVD/dinner thing unless you are ready to spend the night with a guy and it's so true! Everytime I suggest it's okay to stay "in" I get the sex vibe.

Do not do anything that revolves around the home until the third date and if the guy balks get rid of him and have faith in someone new.

I know as a woman with many emotions and a Cancer Moon, and Pluto trine Sun
We all want a mate but it's companionship you are looking for, not a soul mate. A true companion will never pressure you either. If he's your true companion he will be ready for a relationship on day one, the GOOD KIND.