Lindaland
  Soul Unions
  Venus and Mars

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq | search

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Venus and Mars
sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 6608
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted October 19, 2006 11:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
I spoke to a woman who told me she just found out her partner of 10 years has been having an affair....he lied to her when she first confronted him, but admitted to it after a while.

They have a 7year old son together...

A week or so after she found out, she was crying one evening, and the partner wanted to know what was wrong. She explained to him that within a few weeks of her father dying she found out about him having it off with another woman....then yelled at him "how do you expect me to feel". He replied with "oh i see"....

She only wants him....she says if he sees the woman again, she will take the son away. I cant help but think either he will stay under pressure or he will carry on seeing the woman.....

Either way, I feel very sorry for the woman, especially as she is a very fiery Leo....with Scorpio moon....God help him if he crosses the line....

She said to me "i have never met a Scorpio person in my life that I like, until you....you seem very compassionate" I laughed and said "God I have 5 planets there..she said 'REALLY"?

When she told me about her man doing this I cried with her...we hugged in an empty playground waiting for our sons to come out of school.....I felt it was me....

I hardly knew her, but this has brought us closer together....I would like to help her...maybe I already have...hopefully...

Communication hey....? He said to her that he just wanted warmth....he told her this after he had the affair...not before....why do people do this....if only more talking was done, this wouldnt have to happen. I keep thinking of their little boy...same age as Jake.

They are staying together for the time being...

He is a Saggi...they are two fire signs

Venus and Mars.....the differences are huge arent they?

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 5756
From: Arizona - Moving to Germany to be with Bear the Leo
Registered: May 2002

posted October 19, 2006 03:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
I wish it was as easy as Venus and Mars but there are so many factors that contribute to people venturing out of the relationship.

We hear it all the time about the communication and we tend to blame the one that is cheating (rightfully so) yet we need to look at both sides of the issue.

How do we know that the Saggie didn't try to communicate again and again? I was in a situation with a man that I told outright "I am not happy, you don't hear me or listen to me" he answered "sure I do".

That was it... or my favorite - instead of listening and working it out, there is tons of accusations, shouting and then the cycle of ignoring while hoping it would all go away.

The ex-taurus did that- he would attack then retreat but never address the issues - I left his a$$ and never looked back.

A Leo Sun / Scorp moon is a very difficult aspect to have. Fiery on the outside- cold and reserved on the inside. We don't know if everything was hunky dory then all of a sudden he decides to be unfaithful.

Too many times I hear women say 'It was going so well, then he just left me'.

But.. what we didn't know what that she no longer took the time to care for herself, she didn't much care to hear about his day or share her day but expects to be treated like a queen.

In the same respect, there are men that do that same thing- the ex-taurus is case in point, once he felt secure he let himself go. He felt he didn't need to bother taking care of himself, being social or even carrying on a conversation. It was a limiting and stifiling relationship - A TRUE KILLER for an Archer. LOL.....

I am sorry your friend is hurt, I hope they are able to work through it

IP: Logged

cat71
Knowflake

Posts: 409
From: Neverland...
Registered: May 2002

posted October 19, 2006 07:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cat71     Edit/Delete Message
Whilst I respect everybody's take on these things and understand that there are always 2 sides to a story (libra sun, doncha kno) there is this thing called "self-control"!
I get very cross with people who make excuses for being unfaithful... I have been truly tested in relationships where I have been neglected and outrightly abused and still refused to take up offers from other men, what I did and would still continue to do is as Pidaua said - communicate my feelings, try to discuss the problems, attempt to work it out, if this did not work, I would leave - then, and ONLY then would I start another relationship. The man in this situation should be ashamed of himself regardless of his reasons, his behaviour was still wrong!

Well, I vented my two cents worth now! (Hope no-one's too offended)

------------------
...to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever...

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 5756
From: Arizona - Moving to Germany to be with Bear the Leo
Registered: May 2002

posted October 19, 2006 07:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
I'm not offended at all. I think the guy was absolutely wrong and like you, when I was confronted with a similar situation, I left.

Sometimes people get caught up in the "but I am afraid to upset my family life" like cheating doesn't do just that? It is better to take a break and search ones soul that put a family through the mess of cheating.

At the same time, all parties need to take ownership of what they are doing wrong or what they are NOT doing right in a relationship

IP: Logged

OzMeg222
Knowflake

Posts: 216
From:
Registered: Jul 2006

posted October 19, 2006 10:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for OzMeg222     Edit/Delete Message
How hard is it to keep your pants on??? Honestly!!!

There is no excuse for cheating- ever. My ex cheated on me and it made me sick that he could hang around with me and our children playing happy families after sleeping with another person.

I slept with someone when I wasn't even in a relationship and was completely free to do so but felt sick with guilt because I'd betrayed my heart and feelings for someone else. So even if the cheater doesn't care about the effect of it on his/her partner, he/she definately doesn't care about the effect on his/her own morals and values.

And that, I think is the real worry.

IP: Logged

Anita41
Knowflake

Posts: 120
From:
Registered: Mar 2005

posted October 20, 2006 05:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Anita41     Edit/Delete Message
Must be an awful situation for her to be in.
The worst ever, exept illness...
But if this has been going on for 10 years,
and there was never a hint that something
was weird, then you have to wonder.
I think its so important to communicate with the partner and know eachother inside out and tell eachother things,
so if someone would want to have an affair
or even actually do it,
it would easily be detected by the other person,
since you'd see change in behaviour,
and wondering where they went for many hours,
and what they were doing there etc...
You cant keep lies together like that for that long unless you dont talk to eachother.

But people are different.
They still are together? wow..
She is really beating herself up.

My aunt was cheated on for over 20 years
by her cap husband.
She is cancer. And so needy and clingy.
When she found out about it, he moved out to the other woman,
she went to psychics and asked them if he
would ever come back to her and tell her that he still loved her.
She is now remarried to a cancer dude,
who never leaves the home and always pet her.
And I think to myself that what these
people fear is to be alone.
They are not that independant.

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright © 2005

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a