posted October 23, 2010 05:26 PM
Hi everybody, it feels so good to finally be posting here! If you don't mind I want to ask you what you think of something that's very important to me, it's about my first love, the one that keeps coming back to me in dreams and thoughts. I'm sure some of you must've been through similar situations, (how did it work out for you?)
So here's the story:
I fell in love with him when we were ten years old, and it's kind of funny how it happened. I went to bed one night and before I woke up his face appeared in my dreams... it was only his image, and it didn't move, it didn't change, it was just him looking at me. It was a weird dream but when I woke up I was SO happy, SO in love!
Of course, nothing happened at that time, we were just little kids. There was only this... stillness when we'd look at each other, this weird connection.
I have forgotten about him since then, and then I have remembered him, I have seen his face every time I felt love for some other man, I have dreamt about him, I have denied him, I have accepted him, but no matter what I do, he lives somewhere inside me that I can't reach, that I can't do anything about.
I've been praying for him to come back into my life on and off for sixteen years, and yet sometimes I think that it would be too much to be with him, that I couldn't handle that much, that I would break or change completely or that my world would turn upside down... He lives so far away now, and this happened so long ago that it should be easy for me to just let it go, but it isn't.
Here's our synastry, I'm on the inside, I don't know his time of birth.
here's our synastry with some asteroids
What do you see? Should we be together? What was the purpose of us meeting? I didn't completely understand what he meant to me when I was a little girl and I'm still not sure after all this time, please look at this and tell me what you think (or feel!), even if it's just a word or two. please?