posted October 23, 2006 10:21 AM         

Hello all,

Well, apparently being totally honest about my feelings and the note I gave him yesterday was just the thing because we’re not dating, we are becoming a couple! As you all know from the various posts I have made, I have been trying to get together with this really wonderful Cancer Male, but he has been a tough nut to crack. I was relatively certain that he liked me, but I just wasn’t sure. The other day he asked me out and we went bowling, but I still wasn’t sure that it was a “date”. Saturday night we were talking and I just felt compelled to tell him how I felt about him. As it turns out, he has feelings for me too and said that if he saw me dating someone else he would be really jealous but he was unsure if it was a good idea to pursue it because we are neighbors and what if things didn’t work out. We were both really tired when we talked so I wrote him a note about all the things that I really wanted to say—see
“It was soooo a date”. Anyway, he came over last night and we talked about it. He said it was really sweet and he was so flattered. That it made him feel a lot better that I said I had a difficult time with the getting there part of relationships as well. He said he had some things that he wanted to tell me about how he feels, but he wanted to think about them. He also said that he gets anxious because he is afraid he will do the wrong thing and he will not only loose the romantic relationship, but our friendship as well. I told him he wouldn’t do the wrong thing and if he was ever unsure all he had to do was ask and I would never be unkind. I think he felt a lot better about the whole thing and I think the truth is he has been apprehensive because HE is afraid he will do something wrong or I will reject him. It was so sweet! We talked about how serendipitous our meeting was and how he has really had to try and integrate that. We also talked about how neither one of us has really dated much, we just seem to couple and although we didn’t say so definitively, that seems to be what we are doing. Coupling. He is going out of town on Wednesday and will be really busy before he leaves. I told him not to worry about getting to the sharing his feelings part right away; he had a lot to do for this conference. He wants to write it down so his insecurity doesn’t get in the way. Then he invited me to go out of town with him the weekend of the 12th. He provided two options so that we could stay overnight or not depending on my comfort level. Later he talked about another plan for our going to an event this spring. Apparently he has been thinking about us and the future. Yeah!! The whole conversation was just wonderful. He gets this very tender and sweet tone to his voice and he kind of blushes and his shoulders shrug. It’s precious. I think this whole time he has just been afraid and insecure and when I let him know that I wasn’t going to hurt him and was brave enough to open up about my feelings, he felt safe enough to come out of his shell. Thank you all so much for all your help. I am sure I have just made you all crazy with my ramblings about this lovely Cancer, but it has been through the understanding you have provided that I have been able to move this relationship forward. Thanks. I'm just so happy I could cry!

posted October 23, 2006 10:33 AM           

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"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit"

"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"

posted October 23, 2006 10:50 AM         

Our synastry seems to be quite good. Any of the "bumps" are generally things that we worked out in our respective personalities prior to meeting or don't really seem to apply to our personalities such as our tastes clashing. We have such similar taste. Also, it talked about Phil feeling that I disapprove, I practically worship the ground he walks on so that part I disagreed with. I have to agree with most of it, particularly the portions which discuss how safe and secure we make each other feel. I actually think you did it for me a little while ago. Bless you. Tell me what you think. This is what it said:

Sarah's Venus sextile Phil's Venus:

Your values and tastes in life are in harmony and this makes it easy to enjoy each other's company. From music, to food, to love's sweet embrace, you find many ways to enjoy your life together.
Sarah's Jupiter conjunct Phil's Jupiter:
You will have plenty of opportunities to find mutually rewarding activities. Your Philosophies about living life support one another. Traveling, education, and spiritual explorations all provide avenues of growth for the relationship.
Phil's Sun conjunct Sarah's Ascendant:
This is a very favorable "cosmic glue" tie between charts. You both feel more confident, even physically stronger, when you are together. This can lead to a flowering of your personalities, as you both find new ways to express yourselves.
Sarah's Sun trine Phil's Jupiter:
You encourage a positive outlook on life together and there is no end to the number of
growth-oriented activities that you could enjoy together. You both feel confident that it is safe to trust each other. Shared experiences with travel, education, and Philosophical pursuits are favored.
Sarah's Sun trine Phil's Saturn:
You have patience with each other and can work well together either professionally or when sharing life's responsibilities. You can even be patient with each other's "bad" days. You learn from your experiences together and typically don't make the same mistakes twice with each other.
Phil's Sun trine Sarah's Moon:
A natural flow exists in the relationship with your energies naturally supporting one another. Sarah feels safe to drop defenses and be at ease around Phil's natural energy, allowing Phil to feel accepted and appreciated.
Sarah's Sun trine Phil's Chiron:
You have natural empathy and support for each other's wounds, and in this gentleness, there is a healing.
Sarah's Sun sextile Phil's Ascendant:
You enjoy and support each other's outlook on life, making it enjoyable to spend time together. Your personalities mix well.
Sarah's Sun square Phil's Venus:
Your tastes and values can clash, and yet this is not entirely bad. It creates a strong sexual
attraction, though not the comfortable type; this type of fascination comes from that which is different. The strong sexual attraction is favorable for getting the relationship going, but difficulties can arise over differences in basic life values, making it difficult to live with each other on a day-to-day basis.
Phil's Moon trine Sarah's Saturn:
You work well together on both the personal and professional fronts. Sarah gives steadiness and patience to the relationship. Phil adds emotional support to Sarah's efforts in the world of responsibility.
Phil's Moon trine Sarah's North Node:
You both naturally support each other's soul growth. You feel familiar and comfortable with each other.
Sarah's Moon trine Phil's Chiron:
A natural empathy and sensitivity exists between the two of you over wounds that you experienced in the past. You support each other's emotional healing from these wounds and nurture each other's compassion for others.
Phil's Moon sextile Sarah's Uranus:
This is an aspect that encourages evolutionary growth on both your parts. Phil feels encouraged and supported for breaking out of old emotional patterns, and Sarah feels emotionally supported for pursuing an authentic path of individuality.
Phil's Moon opposition Sarah's Ascendant:
Misunderstandings often arise when Phil's emotional needs are expressed in a way that irritates Sarah. Your relationship benefits from spending a little time apart in the daily schedule to avoid getting on each other's nerves.
Sarah's Moon square Phil's Venus:
Emotional issues are quite tricky to resolve. When one of you expresses emotional needs, the other person's feelings get hurt. Or you get your feelings hurt when the other person is simply having a bad day. It is hard not to take the other person's emotional issues personally, but that is exactly what can improve your relationship.
Phil's Moon square Sarah's Pluto:
Phil can feel threatened, unsafe, and powerless to withstand Sarah's will. A healthy relationship can develop only if Sarah can remain conscious of the potential misuse of this power of intimidation. Otherwise, the potential for unhealthy psychological patterns to develop between the two of you is strong.
Phil's Mercury conjunct Sarah's Ascendant:
This aspect is very beneficial for communication. Sarah feels free to express feelings and thoughts to Phil like with no other. This greatly enhances the ability to communicate through difficulties.
Phil's Mercury trine Sarah's Venus:
This creates a stimulating spark in your exchanges as you both enjoy each other's personality. Phil communicates in a way that Sarah enjoys, and thus friendship and romance are favored. Creative outlets are also favored, although any relationship and any activity would benefit from this delightful combination.
Phil's Mercury trine Sarah's Uranus:
You two are excellent at looking at issues from a fresh perspective and coming up with innovative ideas for dealing with situations. Your communications stay lively as you encourage a "discovery" attitude in each other. The ideas that you come up with together most often have relevance and application in your lives.
Phil's Mercury sextile Sarah's Saturn:
You are able to handle responsibilities well together. You not only make plans well, you are able to follow through on them with patience and commitment. When difficulties in your relationship do arise, this combination facilitates an ability to work through the issues patiently.
Sarah's Mercury square Phil's Uranus:
A tension exists in your communications with each other. Phil wants Sarah to change the way Sarah thinks about something in a way that is inconceivable to Sarah. Sarah can feel Phil is a disruptive, unruly influence, and Phil can view Sarah as narrow-minded and stuck in conventional thinking.
Sarah's Mercury square Phil's Pluto:
Difficulties in communications with each other arise because of Sarah's tendency to feel threatened by Phil's will. It is important not to allow manipulations of any sort to enter into your
communications with each other; no good can come from it. If either of you feels manipulated by the other, name it for what it is, and refuse to take part in it.
Sarah's Venus conjunct Phil's Mars:
Strong sexual attraction is always present with this "cosmic glue" combination. Even when you're upset with each other emotionally or mentally, your bodies would just as soon be hugging. The only danger of this tie is taking this magnetism for granted and failing to cultivate the ongoing courtship required to sustain the initial spark.
Phil's Venus conjunct Sarah's Saturn:
The best of this aspect is a serious, commitment-based relationship with a strong sense of
responsibility for each other. The worst of it is if Phil feels disapproval from Sarah, making the flow of love difficult. When at odds with each other, Phil can feel Sarah is an oppressive responsibility more than a joyful companion, and Sarah can view Phil as undisciplined and indulgent, and needing to learn restraint.
Phil's Venus trine Sarah's Chiron:
Phil's values, appreciation for beauty, and capacity to receive love are fertile ground for healing for Sarah. The activities that you enjoy together naturally lead to soul growth for both of you. You can be drawn to the arts and creative expression as a method for healing.
Sarah's Venus opposition Phil's North Node:
The past-life karma you bring into this life is that of Sarah having been a female lover for Phil in a previous life. It is easy to love one another, but soul memories stir feelings that don't make sense in this life. Will you promote soul growth for each other in this life, or will you cling to memories and
yearnings for how things were?
Sarah's Venus square Phil's Jupiter:
It is not always easy to find ways to socialize together. What one of you considers a
growth-oriented activity, the other might not value at all. When you do get together, there is the risk of encouraging each other's excessive behavior.
Phil's Mars opposition Sarah's Chiron:
Sarah feels threatened by Phil's insensitivity, and feels unsafe in revealing vulnerabilities. Phil feels Sarah to be too sensitive, as if Phil has to walk on eggshells not to arouse sensitivities. And that is exactly the path that works best--treat the sensitivities of Sarah with sensitivity.
Sarah's Mars square Phil's Uranus:
This is another aspect that requires skill to avoid the danger. Wild, unexpected conflicts can rise up between the two of you like spring thunderstorms, so you have to be careful not to set each other off. You can encourage reckless behavior in each other unless you learn to handle these surges of intense energy that flare up between the two of you.
Sarah's Mars square Phil's Pluto:
You are being tested with the right use of power in this relationship, and power conflicts erupt with the slightest provocation on either of your parts. Taking martial arts training together would be a good metaphor of your test. With this training you would learn that your power comes from staying in your center, and not getting pulled into anger. This is no small trick in your relationship because of the hair-trigger reactions you both have to conflict issues when either of you tries to change the other in any way. You can bring out each other's shadow issues, and need to be willing to question your motives in any plans you come up with together.
Sarah's Jupiter trine Phil's Saturn:
You work well together on career and professional matters, as well as all issues of handling responsibility together. You are especially effective at planning together and follow a step-by-step approach to getting to your shared goals.
Phil's Jupiter trine Sarah's Neptune:
Mysticism and Philosophical exchanges are favored with this combination, and your discussions help you both rise above the petty issues in life to gain a more inspired view.
Sarah's Jupiter sextile Phil's Ascendant:
This aspect is favorable for most relationships as the two of you share common Philosophical, political, and religious beliefs, as well as cultural interests. It simply feels uplifting to be in each other's company.
Phil's Jupiter square Sarah's Uranus:
Although this combination promotes a great deal of excitement, you too easily encourage each other into rash and even reckless behavior. There is an unfounded feeling of luck that encourages risk taking that can be disastrous. Arguments can flair up over political and religious issues that you are not likely to see eye to eye on.
Sarah's Jupiter square Phil's North Node:
The Philosophical and religious interests of Sarah are not growth-oriented for Phil. It would be advisable to encourage and support the differences in your spiritual paths. When you try to find a shared spiritual path, one or the other of you feel as if you are just tagging along.
Phil's Jupiter square Sarah's Chiron:
Your beliefs and Philosophical views clash with each other concerning health and healing issues. Although not with malicious indent, Phil can encourage directions that hinder, rather than help, Sarah's healing process.
Sarah's Saturn conjunct Phil's Pluto:
You two have considerable influence and power when you work together. Business and politics would be natural arenas to express the huge power that comes from this combination, and artistic and spiritual types with this aspect would need a huge project to pour this energy into as well. The low road is when the shadow side of power takes over the relationship, leading to blind ambition, corruption, and power conflicts.
Phil's Saturn trine Sarah's Neptune:
This aspect allows the two of you to handle worldly responsibilities with a sense of grace. Phil helps bring form and structure to Sarah's vision, and Sarah inspires Phil to bring vision into Phil's career. You can work well together in creative and spiritual pursuits with this combination.
Phil's Saturn opposition Sarah's Pluto:
With this aspect, there can be a deep mistrust of each other that will have to be addressed before the relationship can proceed. Phil resents Sarah's way of taking control of power. Sarah feels Phil is attempting to sabotage situations by resistance. Until you work through these issues of mistrust, the threatening feelings you both have may sabotage your attempts to have a healthy relationship.
Sarah's Uranus conjunct Phil's Neptune:
There is a creative flow between Sarah's intuition and Phil's ability to image. This sets up a favorable flow of spiritual guidance that comes to the two of you spontaneously through coincidences and sudden knowing.
Phil's Uranus conjunct Sarah's North Node:
Soul growth gets put on fast-forward for the two of you. Phil is an evolutionary agent for Sarah, bringing ideas, experiences, and energy that accelerate the path of awakening. Sarah helps Phil stay in touch with the prevailing social/cultural climate.
Sarah's Uranus sextile Phil's Pluto:
You support each other's big picture view of what you stand for in life. You can be creative allies in supporting each other's efforts at transforming society through social action, or transforming yourselves through deep spiritual work.
Phil's Uranus sextile Sarah's Ascendant:
You encourage and support each other's uniqueness and individuality by giving each other permission to be just who you are without pretension. You support each other's path of awakening and evolution by encouraging each other to stay in an attitude of discovery.
Phil's Uranus square Sarah's Neptune:
Phil looks at Sarah as being spaced-out. Sarah sees Phil as a rebel without a cause. You force each other to examine outdated fads to which you might each be still attached. At a higher level, you force each other to examine the effectiveness of your spiritual techniques and encourage each other to rebel against empty practices that need to be adapted or let go.
Phil's Neptune trine Sarah's Ascendant:
This is a favorable aspect that allows Phil to help Sarah rise above petty issues, and Sarah to help Phil follow spiritual and creative vision. Involvements in the arts and spiritual activity together are highly favored.
Phil's Neptune sextile Sarah's North Node:
You can trust each other to provide spiritual guidance and insights as you have a natural empathy for each other's soul needs.
Sarah's Neptune square Phil's Pluto:
You are prone to promote each other's worst-case fears. You lead each other into the confusion of the shadow world where it is difficult to distinguish between what is real and not real. The test is the right use of your imagination, and the consequences are severe, as is always the case with Pluto challenges. Can you anticipate the absolutely disastrous results that come when you feed each other's fears, and instead train your imaginations not to go down that hellhole of fear? It usually takes meditation training and spiritual practices to get a handle on this subtle, but insidiously powerful, aspect.
Phil's Pluto sextile Sarah's Ascendant:
You support the deepest type of spiritual transformation in each other and can be a source of hidden strength for each other.
Phil's Pluto conjunct Sarah's North Node:
Sarah's soul growth needs bring out the best of Phil's energy. The prospects for taking part in each other's deep spiritual transformation are strong. You can come to greater understandings of the mystery of life by exploring the mystery of death. Practicing yoga, or some other transformational science, would bring out the best of this combination.
Phil's North Node conjunct Sarah's Chiron:
This fortunate aspect leads to shared experiences that are healing for Phil and that lead to soul growth for Sarah. You two may come up with unique contributions in understanding the role of spiritual practices in the healing process.
Sarah's North Node opposition Phil's Chiron:
You carry the past-life karma of Sarah having been a healing force in Phil's past life. You may become interested in the healing traditions of ancient cultures, or awaken to healing abilities through your relationship, as if you are bringing forward something that you knew from the past into this life.

posted October 23, 2006 04:08 PM         

Perhaps I should have explained the circumstance a bit better. Typically two people meet, go on dates, get to know each other and then move to that comfortable "couple space". The place where you are exclusive,your own little orbit,and you have decided to create a life together. This is what I am refering to. I have never been a casual dater where one goes out on dates on Friday or Saturday night and you "see where things go". I have meet previous partners through various circumstances and we were somehow instantly connected. My fella has had similar circumstances. There is that instant familiarity that couples who have been together for many years have. A synchronicity. We have that. We just want to be together and can't really be bothered with the "pomp and circumstance" of traditional dating.That to me is coupledom.Of course I will be good to him. I can't imagine being anything else. He means a great deal to me.

posted October 23, 2006 04:33 PM           

I know what you mean, TINA...to finally be a couple is a great thing..enjoy

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"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit"

"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"

posted October 23, 2006 04:46 PM         

i am really happy for you....i know exactly what you mean...i think that is how it is going to be with my and my guy too, if it ever comes to that. I don't believe in conventional dating either. and neither i think does he.

I am glad that you are a couple now. Gives me hope u knw

well, any doubts i had till yday about my fellow being interested, got resolved today. We had a common class today. And what with the suddenly cold weather, and my doubts about him, i was more than a little depressed. He made special effort to talk to me at the end of the class, smiled for no reason at all, (which made me smile too), and then I have noticed this thing several times....he always, always wants to walk besides me...not in front of me, not behind me, but besides me. even if we are in a group, he will come over to my side. And the same thing happened today. It was kinda reassuring.

posted October 23, 2006 05:10 PM         

Oh my goodness. That's just lovely. I'm sure things will go brilliantly.

It's funny, I noticed that my fella walks right by my side as well. Not ahead, not behind, no matter what pace I walk. It's nice and a strange sign of respect I think.

Neptune5,

Are you really a teenager? I hope my reply wasn't too coarse, but I'm 28, my fella will be 40 next year and things are just a bit different at our age.

posted October 25, 2006 12:21 PM         

Tinasparkle

posted October 25, 2006 07:42 PM         

Found out it wasn't a 'booty call' when he came over on the weekend. He knew before he left I wasn't going to sleep with him. My best friend told him, but she didn't bother to tell me until yesterday. She asked if he stayed and where he slept so obviously he doesn't share everything with the world.

I floated yesterday when she told me, I'd been feeling a bit down cos he's lovely and although I thought we had a nice night I kinda thought he might've had a different opinion.

posted October 30, 2006 08:10 AM           

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"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit"-Khalil Gibran

posted October 30, 2006 09:49 AM         

He finally arrived back home last night. I missed him so much! Things were great and even though his plane was late and he was really tired he came by for a visit. It was really sweet. He brought me souvenirs from his trip and said that he thought about me a lot. I had to make him go home and go to bed or I think he would have stayed all night. He hugged me goodnight and then we talked a minute more and he asked if he could hug me again. It was dear. I do wish he would kiss me though!! It's really comfortable when we are physical, but it's the getting there that is awkward. Like, my hand just rests perfectly in the small of his back, but the putting it there makes me nervous. Once it is there I am totally relaxed. We are going away a week from Saturday--not that kind of "going away"-- but I think it will be a good opportunity for us to be a bit more intimate. Thanks again for all of your insights. Things are just wonderful!!

posted October 30, 2006 09:49 AM         

He finally arrived back home last night. I missed him so much! Things were great and even though his plane was late and he was really tired he came by for a visit. It was really sweet. He brought me souvenirs from his trip and said that he thought about me a lot. I had to make him go home and go to bed or I think he would have stayed all night. He hugged me goodnight and then we talked a minute more and he asked if he could hug me again. It was dear. I do wish he would kiss me though!! It's really comfortable when we are physical, but it's the getting there that is awkward. Like, my hand just rests perfectly in the small of his back, but the putting it there makes me nervous. Once it is there I am totally relaxed. We are going away a week from Saturday--not that kind of "going away"-- but I think it will be a good opportunity for us to be a bit more intimate. Thanks again for all of your insights. Things are just wonderful!!