posted June 10, 2008 07:08 AM
The biggest barrier to people finding soulmates and real love? -------------------------------------
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
-Jala ad-Din Rumi
Sometimes the easiest answers are the hardest to accept and understand. In everything and everyone, the only barrier that truly exists between going after what you desire and not going after it relies upon YOU. The barrier is inevitably and always will be in the end: yourself. No one can truly motivate you to do something without your consent. Therefore, the barrier isn't a question of finding real love, because love isn't something than can ever be attained by physical means. It's not something tangible or materialistic. You can't buy love, just as you can't make or force someone to love you and vise versa.
Through the wisdom of lessons learned, love can only be discovered by a 'pure heart'. So what does having a 'pure heart' have to do with love? Purity of heart is akin to purity of self. No, I do not mean you have to be a squeaky-clean virgin to discover love in its purest form. As the saying goes 'you cannot love another until you love yourself', and in this case, it is as valid and true as ever.
When you approach the concept of love, it's usually threaded with very diverse complications and misunderstandings. Love can be often associated with lusting, desiring, and longing after something or someone. However if your own perception of love is tainted then so are your ideas and approach on it.
What I believe what the term 'real love' is conveying is the purest form of love - unconditional love. Love is actually very simple to understand once you strip away the complexes and paranoia people tag unto it. Unconditional love is the freedom to love without fear, without judgment, and without ego. And yes, people can love somebody else unconditionally, even though they may not realize the definition of what they're giving. Everyone has the ability to do so, because it's engrained within them. It's like mothers and maternal instincts. Everyone has the instinctive and intuitive nature to embrace love and love unconditionally.
The problem is - you don't recognize it, because your own version of love is tainted. You see unconditional love for someone else is easily understood, but it's the unconditional love of oneself that people don't understand. Both loving someone and loving yourself unconditionally is (if not) imperative in understanding what it truly is all about. They both work together and must be balanced in order for the purest form of love to shine through in all aspects involved.
If the concepts of soulmates are indeed true, then finding them isn't the problem. Obviously, if their existence is real, you played no part in creating them. Therefore, finding them is not at all your requirement. People often blind themselves by putting on different people as if the idea of love is akin to shopping. If you do think of love as shopping, perhaps, you should think of this way then: Most people grab the first selection they believe is 'Oh, this looks good on me' or 'I think I can make it work, if I lost weight or did this or that', but what people don't know is that they never had to settle for second best or have to superficially change themselves in order for it work. They never had to keep trying on these different garments and looking in the mirror in vain trying to figure if this is a good fit or not. In fact, the perfect garment is the one that is perfectly tailor-made for you. This garment is one-of-a-kind, only meant for your body, and meant to complement you in every possible way.
So instead of trying to figuring what could attract a potential lover universally by superficially tuning yourself to a universal vibe, you should be working on who you are inside. So when this 'one-of-kind tailor-made only for you' individual comes into your life, you'll be ready for it and ready for them.
Because when it happens, you need to realize that it was never about becoming something that you thought they wanted in an ideal soulmate. They will find what they desire and need in you, because it is who you truly are deep down inside. They will recognize it and see it in you. It's like being their own personal puzzle for them to solve and only they can solve it.
Preparation of becoming the optimal person you can be for this person is the same as becoming the person you yourself need to be in general. They are in a sense your mirror as you are theirs. I don't mean you're going to be intensely alike like perfectly parallel to one another, but you have a way of complementing them as they do to you. Everything is connected through the synchronization of your personalities and who you are. The symmetry is not met by honing yourself to their liking; it's honing yourself to become the best you can be. You create a perfect balance between each other, because you are balancing who you are inside rather than finding universal or superficial compatibility. You are compatible by the nature of who you are inside, not by how good you look or pretend to be.
In order for two halves to make a whole, each half has to be whole by themselves in order for a perfect whole to be made. Therefore, how you perceive yourself is ultimately a huge part of the equation of unconditional love. Everything comes full circle. Your perception of yourself is the ultimate key in receiving the ultimate prize - unconditional love.
Once you love yourself completely and wholly, you will then eliminate any fear of not being deserving of such a person. People often wonder why someone could see something in them that they themselves could never see. It's because the basis of your understanding is tied to your ego. Your ego won't allow you to see the beauty in yourself, just as it won't allow you to see the true beauty of love. Your ego is fueled by your own idea of yourself, which is connected to how you view love.
What it all comes down to is: would rather have someone love you for something you're not OR would you rather have the love of someone because of who you are? There is no asking 'am I enough?' in real love, because who you are is absolutely enough. It's the part of allowing yourself to realize that you're enough is what keeps you from seeing the real thing. So take off those sunglasses and see the sunlight for the first time. Learn to live for yourself then you will know how to love for yourself. With that, eventually everything will fall in place as they should and as they were meant to be.
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
posted June 10, 2008 07:08 AM
posted June 10, 2008 01:28 PM
I can imagine how that feels. {{{{hugs}}}}}
posted June 10, 2008 07:49 PM
- talk about balance in our emotional needs hihihihi
posted June 17, 2008 03:19 PM
posted June 18, 2008 10:30 AM
