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Author Topic:   Cancers yet again
nattie33
Knowflake

Posts: 613
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 23, 2008 12:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for nattie33     Edit/Delete Message
I have been reading all the cancer threads and i still dont get it. He was very intense. then just cut it off. after not answering my letters. out of nowhere after months sends me a one line sentence very casual. when i answer him yet again. again no response. I am completly at a loss. do they have there own sense of timing. all i can think is i guess i will probably here from him again in my lifetime before i die maby

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Kismet*
Knowflake

Posts: 13
From: CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2008

posted June 25, 2008 01:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kismet*     Edit/Delete Message
I'm a Cancer and I must admit this behavior is something I know a thing or two about. Let me just say this is how he wants to seem to you and he's doing a pretty good job....

When I have experienced indifference with someone I like I cut them off, barley speak to them, one sentence seems an accurate way to describe the communication.

I think its a defense mechanism. Sort of like I'll show her I don't need her when in reality he can't stop thinking about you. But he is at an advantage because he knows you can't stop thinking about him.

And this is how Cancers use their beautiful intuition.

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Meduza
Knowflake

Posts: 121
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted June 25, 2008 02:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Meduza     Edit/Delete Message

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~jane_says~
Knowflake

Posts: 180
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted June 25, 2008 06:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ~jane_says~     Edit/Delete Message
I dont buy into that behavior for a second! And I totally agree that they LOVE to leave a trace a mystery about them with their silly communication antics. But what they forget is that this type of behavior does not work on the more strong, outspoken type of woman. The cancer who used the same one liner on me just made me pity him all the more, because in reality there truly is something to be said about a person that can divulge his true self to one another despite the possibility of feelings being exposed and raw. This sort of cancer man really needs to grow and evolve. And really who wants to do the hokey pokey all their life anyway? Especially when you can do the tango with someone else?

------------------

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cancerrg
Knowflake

Posts: 2769
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted June 26, 2008 08:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
but how did you guess this hokey pokey goes on for life?

it does but uptill a certain period of uncertainity in the relation .

the uncertainity comes from the fact a cancer might not be feeling the same intensity though the other person might be .

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Unmoved
Moderator

Posts: 1578
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted June 26, 2008 12:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
Hmmm... I can't stand games. I would soon get fed up, regardless of how much I like you.

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Unmoved
Moderator

Posts: 1578
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted June 26, 2008 12:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
Hmmm... I can't stand games. I would soon get fed up, regardless of how much I like you.

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~jane_says~
Knowflake

Posts: 180
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted June 26, 2008 03:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ~jane_says~     Edit/Delete Message
"but how did you guess this hokey pokey goes on for life?
it does but uptill a certain period of uncertainity in the relation .

the uncertainity comes from the fact a cancer might not be feeling the same intensity though the other person might be".

Well that's is exactly why I said the hokey pokey, because they're too preoccupied with "what if" that they never really throw themselves into the relationship. It seems to me that when they do decide to that it is may be far too late for some. And if they aren't "feelin" someone then for everyone's sake just let it be known. It's rather a self-destructive cycle from what I can tell. Especially if you're trying to establish trust, how does this type of behavior convey that? Really?

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nattie33
Knowflake

Posts: 613
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 26, 2008 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nattie33     Edit/Delete Message
We were first together a long time ago. and just reconnected if that makes any difference.

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~jane_says~
Knowflake

Posts: 180
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted June 26, 2008 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ~jane_says~     Edit/Delete Message
Nattie. I have an ex who does the same thing. We've been broken up since '03 and he popped in the years 03, 06, 07. See the pattern here. And it's always about him and of course I'm expected to take it with a grain of salt, but it's really more of warped situation that I can handle. I allow him to vent or reminisce or do what ever it is he needs to do, but in the end I'm not up for the charades. It's simply unhealthy and it's disgused as friendly calls. But where is the friendship? And why should I care, because of the history. Because crabs are so in love with it ? PLEASE!

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~jane_says~
Knowflake

Posts: 180
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted June 26, 2008 06:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ~jane_says~     Edit/Delete Message
By the way, my one liner was:
"How have you been?"

What was yours?

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nattie33
Knowflake

Posts: 613
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 26, 2008 09:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nattie33     Edit/Delete Message
i dosen't even make sense to me know

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cancerrg
Knowflake

Posts: 2769
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted June 27, 2008 06:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
"in my shell" thats mine

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stillatlarge
Knowflake

Posts: 503
From: TX. USA
Registered: Apr 2007

posted June 27, 2008 09:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for stillatlarge     Edit/Delete Message
I can't say I have a lot of experience with Cancer males but Capricorn are crazier than any cancerian I've ever known.

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~jane_says~
Knowflake

Posts: 180
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted June 30, 2008 11:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ~jane_says~     Edit/Delete Message
How so? I may very well think that about cappy women.

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triplepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From:
Registered: May 2008

posted June 30, 2008 10:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for triplepisces     Edit/Delete Message
i agree with you ~jane_says~ this game doesn't work on outspoken, stronger women...anyways, games never work >_<

this is what a pisces guy doing to me now :| cancer, pisces guys...

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luvscorp
Knowflake

Posts: 82
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Sep 2005

posted July 20, 2008 03:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for luvscorp     Edit/Delete Message
oh my gosh ............. have been there angel ............. i just got bored and walked away ......... i don;t think I have ever been that bored with someone in my life ............. so my suggestion would be to decide what you feel is acceptable behaviour and each time he does something that comes 'below par', just plain ignore it.

No matter what star sign someone is, it doesn't give them the permission to treat you any less than you deserve ........

Everyone deserves the respect of being treated with more than indifference.

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sadcat
Knowflake

Posts: 10
From: Canada
Registered: Mar 2008

posted July 20, 2008 10:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sadcat     Edit/Delete Message
Plenty of confusing cancer tales here...

We saw each other a couple times a month for about 4 months...talked lots on the phone and via messenger. There was lots of affection and passion between us. We never did define our relationship though...it was pretty casual but he knew I liked him more than a friend. One day I pulled a long hair off the front of his shirt and said, "Oh is this left over from last night?" He played it off, we joked about it but things took a downward spin especially since then...or I could be wrong. This man has my head spinning.

Then started wierdness like: responding to texts then nothing, taking a call then not for weeks on end....when being asked directly: "why did you cut me out", he responded, "I didn't cut you out. How are things?" and when being asked what his erratic behaviour meant, complete avoidance from him AGAIN. And the pattern continues.

I understand cancers are honest and I recently text him I still had a soft spot for him and then asked him directly if I had any chance with him and if not to just tell me and that would be fine. He did not reply at all. I don't get it....easy enough to say "no chance with me" over text and that would be that. Maybe he likes the attention? Maybe its a test? Ideas?

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nattie33
Knowflake

Posts: 613
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted July 20, 2008 10:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nattie33     Edit/Delete Message
All i know is i just can't do it anymore. it takes me to long to recover

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 1427
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted July 20, 2008 11:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
I had experience recently with a Cancer man and he would ask me direct questions and I would answer. Buuuuut when I asked him the same, he wouldn't respond with an answer to my question. He was evasive and (stalling for time) would say "As in what?", when he knew what I was asking about.

These weren't serious questions that were invading his privacy. Just get to know you questions like what kind of food do you like to cook, or about his career.

I lost interest after the second time I asked him a question and got the same type of response. Thought it was rude.

He lost everything in his divorce (represented himself while his ex had big-gun lawyers), so he has a pretty big chip on his shoulder, unfortunate for him.

Fortunately, this guy doesn't represent all men born under this sign (thank goodness, I have family friends and relatives born under this sign and them).

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