posted March 02, 2006 10:20 AM         

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want
you,nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him
alone.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to
be.

6. Don't force an attraction.

7. Slower is better.

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
Happy.

9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat
a
friend.

10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith
make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.

11. Don't settle.

12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a
BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like
that?

14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a
whole lot of mess.

16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different
women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he
treat you any differently?

19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.

21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers
you, speak up.

23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just
isn't that interested.

24. Be honest and upfront.

25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the
situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move
on).

27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he
treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).

28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental
abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.

29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow
himself -- double-standard.

31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if
he has more education or in a better job.

32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing
less.

33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!

34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted
to what they see.

35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away
and if you feel he's lying, let him go.

36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. Never let a man define who you are.

38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.

39. Never borrow someone else's man.

40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt
you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.

43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the
.1 person in your life.

44. Love is a verb ...

45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone
unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone
unloving-loving.

46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

47. All men are NOT dogs.

48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a
two way street.

49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship.

52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not
supplementary.

53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

55. Never become your man's "therapist".

56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the
actions.

57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end
it - but it takes two to make it work.

58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you
there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for
you.

59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,
and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.

60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure =
him to spend time with you, You cant force a man to hang out with you.

61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.

62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

63. Never move into his mother's house.

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.

65. Never co-sign for a man.

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.

67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.

68. Never let a man mess up your credit.

69. When it's time to let go; let go.

70. Good men should be treated like good men.

71. Don't play games.

72. You can't make a ***** into a housewife - or husband.

73. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you
need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs,
personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.

75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.

posted March 02, 2006 10:43 AM         

Later,
Paras

posted March 02, 2006 10:47 AM         

52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not
supplementary.

I agree with these and some of the other obvious ones. i.e. don't let anyone ruin your credit, etc.

However, doesn't everyone have at least a little baggage? I agree it's not cute... but it's realistic.

Through first glance, I don't agree with No. 20 and 67.

I don't think anyone should take/expect more than they're willing to offer.

posted March 02, 2006 11:39 PM         

1) Where did you get these from? Were they taken from a book, or magazine article, or a website, or did you come up with these yourself?

2) What motivated you to post the list?

3) Do you really believe that all those statements are good/true/accurate? Do you think they are "words of wisdom", something to live by?

Ever Curious,
Paras

------------------
Can you imagine a world in which each person understood that his only responsibility was to give and receive love?

posted March 04, 2006 01:39 AM         

I am single!

And I firmly believe that as long as I continue to follow all of those rules, I will remain single. hehe
I would have to guess Dr. Phil as the author of most of those... they reek of his charming arrogance and all-knowing Don't Take Any Crap attitude. The list should include #76 and #77

76) The man should host his own television show, be abnormally rich, and the perfect parent.

77) Bald is ok.

Where IS this man??? One of the rules said we couldn't steal the good "doctor?" from his wife, Robin, so I guess we're out of luck if we are older than his son(s)? hehehe

I'm getting weird... I better get to sleep

posted March 04, 2006 02:42 AM         

Is there a list from the perspective of men?
It would be good to read an intelligently put together list for once. Not just: Sex, food and sports.

Some of the things in the list, though, are outright obnoxious and self-centered.

Such as:

17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you. (Sometimes it ain't all about you).

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first. (People abuse and twist this principle and end up not being able to work with relationships in the first place).

Then contradicted with: 48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a
two way street.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time. (I don't believe in tough love in this context. This is using guilt as psychological abuse).

62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. (Where is the trust?)

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone. (Obviously someone had issues when they wrote this. It's not wrong to ask for help or be inter-dependent with another person. How else do families work?)

(But then it is ok to accept a man to spoil
a woman, but not vice versa? Weird.)

67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.

75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts. (Because?)

posted March 08, 2006 04:25 PM         

JL seems a bit trollish. There was also another post of his / hers that states something derogatory about Leo's. In the profile they state something about Anarchy. LOL....

Then again, maybe they are interesting but socially inept..it happens.. and it does happen here once in a while LMAO..

I hope all is well

posted July 24, 2008 06:50 PM         

I think the only rule one needs to follow is the relationship cocktail:

1 part common sense
1 part open heart
1 part trustworthy intuition
a dash of sexiness
a slice of loyalty and a couple of ice cubes with "i love myself" written on them

posted July 25, 2008 01:02 AM         

1. "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want
you,nothing can make him stay."

posted July 25, 2008 05:19 AM         

quote:

---

Im starting to agree with this one even if i dont like it

1. "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want
you,nothing can make him stay."

---

I'd only agree with that, if it was stated as:

If any heterosexual mammal that reproduces in a sexual (as opposed to asexual) manner - sexually desires a mammal of the opposite sex(in the same species) - that mammal will either actively pursue or work to attract - the former.

If any heterosexual mammal has no sexual desire for a particular mammal of the opposite sex, the aforementioned mammal will act sexually disinterested.

It doesn't only go for men and women - it's true for all species in both genders.

And further, it doesn't only go for sex.
In the exact same way, if you are hungry and you have a choice between pizza (which, lets say - is your favourite) and a banana muffin (assuming you dislike banana) - you will pick the pizza.

I think people over do it on the psychological analysis of sex and feel rejected, when EVERYONE is rejected by somebody – trust me. A while ago a girl was talking about how hot Ralph Fiennes is. I don't find him sexually attractive at all. If someone who looked similar (had a similar vibe/body language/personality) ever pursued me, I would turn him down flat, because I am honestly not at all sexually interested.

The guy/girl you are attracted to – will have – some people who are attracted and some who are not. You are in the exact same position. Everyone is.. So please stop getting your egos tangled into these situations. If you liked yourself, it wouldn't matter.

Sometimes there's a mis-match, but it's ok. More often than not, it is mutual! It's just that some people seem to actually desire and want these experiences and intentionally go after experiences that cause them harm - usually because of self-esteem issues.

PS. Also - sexual rejection when TRUE - has no nasty intent behind it.

There is a difference between a guy or girl who is playing hard to get or witholding sex - trying to hurt you (usually this person is either interested in you, and this is the only way they know to maintain control of the situation - OR - they are not interested and they have their own self esteem issues, for which reason they like stringing others along).

The point is there is a huge difference between this sort of person and someone who is actually just *not* interested.

I'd have nothing against the imaginary Ralph Fiennes clone. I wouldnt be playing hard to get. I'm sure he's a nice enough guy. I would honestly wish him all the best.
It's just that I would have no desire whatsoever to have sex with him, go on a date with him or be with him in a romantic relationship! And I wouldn't put myself through that sort of experience.

posted July 26, 2008 06:41 PM         

quote:

---

You cannot change a man's behaviors

---

posted July 29, 2008 09:37 AM         

It just appealed to me with its understated rightness.