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Author
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Topic: Last ditch attempt... an important step
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GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 898
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted January 17, 2007 11:54 PM
 
Ok... after things between me and Mr Gem came to a completely explosive confrontation in the weekend and several days of angst afterwards, I decided to take an important step today... I went to a relationship counsellor. I have just told Mr Gem about it and he's agreed to come with me for counselling so we can work through what's been going on between us. I said he didn't have to, that I could go by myself, but he has offered to come. That in itself is positive, I hope!We will have 6 sessions. Maybe the outcome will be a parting of ways, I really don't know... but I do know that we reached a breaking point and it is TIME to do the work. Yep... Saturn conj. composite DC... We want to be with each other - but we are in for some hard work, we really are, and this is "make or break" time. So if anyone can send us positive energy or even just say a little prayer for us then I would appreciate it.  IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 16
From:
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted January 18, 2007 01:54 AM
Good luck! Counseling can help so much. My bf and I went through a pretty tough time a couple of years ago. We even split up for a few months, but then we got back together and had only a few weeks of counseling, but it helped our relationship become so much stronger and reach a level of honesty and closeness that I had never had with anyone before. I wish you all the luck and hang in there -- for me, there were times that were so difficult that I wondered if all the emotional pain was worth it but it really was. I became a better person and was therefore able to have a better relationship. Best wishes!IP: Logged |
BornUnderDioscuri
Knowflake Posts: 1257
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted January 18, 2007 11:31 AM
Ohhh thats sooo awesome to hear sweetheart!!!! I hope it helps out a lot  that would be great. Best of wishes to you guys!  IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8217
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted January 18, 2007 12:28 PM
Wishing you well and sending hope and prayers from Ireland.... IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 898
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted January 18, 2007 03:58 PM
Thank you! IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 898
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted January 18, 2007 04:33 PM
Ok now I'm slightly unnerved... the new moon in Capricorn is conjunct our composite 29 degree Cap moon in the 12th house... right now. What starts now will be manifested in the next month... I'd like to see it as a new cycle in the relationship, but being in our composite 12th house it just seems like an ending...  IP: Logged |
Peri
Knowflake Posts: 1803
From: Kyiv, Ukraine
Registered: Dec 2003
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posted January 18, 2007 05:03 PM
sending you Love n Good Luck!  IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 898
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted January 20, 2007 03:00 AM
Thanks, Peri... but... I'm feeling sad. Today he said he wants to move out. He says we're not breaking up, but I find that hard to believe. I really dooooooooooon't want him to go but I'm trying to hold it together and not let him see how much this is affecting me... acting desperate is hardly going to change anything. What we're dealing with right now in addition to Saturn conj. composite DC is Uranus square Venus in BOTH our progressed charts (and therefore in our progressed composite). And it'll be like that all this year... I checked. I know there's nothing I can do about it but accept it, allow the freedom and hope for the best... I also found that later this year our progressed composite will become a grand water trine... including sun in Cancer (it's already a progressed Cancer sun) with moon in Scorpio and Mars in Pisces... exactly what I would love from all this. I don't want to have false hope but I feel like I need it. Oh and I should add right now... Pluto is NOT A NICE PLANET. I read in a book once that whatever Pluto touches it brings suffering and grief... I can confirm that. It was involved in what I see as the first major eruption 4 months ago when it squared Venus... and now, opposite my descendant it coincided with what is for me an atomic bomb blast. Saturn, Pluto and Uranus... officially my most hated planets.
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BornUnderDioscuri
Knowflake Posts: 1257
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted January 20, 2007 02:51 PM
Oh my! But i think its for the best. You will both get the space you need. See the Saturn is is the composite DC so its for both of you, for my part its just his DC so its all completely on him. So this affecting you must show you what is needed as well. My most hated planets as well but Pluto also brings needed change. This doesnt mean a breakup since its both of you and neither want to break up. Maybe its a lesson to see what you both need, maybe its the break that will make it stronger. Stay possitiveIP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 898
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted January 20, 2007 04:14 PM
It's hard to be positive when it just feels like he wants to get away from me. I feel like him leaving won't do anything to make things better... it's like running away. What can I do?IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 898
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted January 20, 2007 04:24 PM
I just read the starcast in the Astrology section... none of it spells good news for my situation as far as I can see, none of it.  We had a major argument a week ago and things have been sooo bad since then. He apologised but I couldn't let go of it... I was so hurt and I withdrew for days. I couldn't help it. But now I feel like my reaction has destroyed things... I shouldn't have been so sensitive! It was too much for him... but now I so badly want to fix things and I feel like it's too late and this WILL lead to a breakup. He just seems so negative about everything. He doesn't talk about feelings. His 12th house Aries moon, plus Aries ascendant and Gem sun also in the mix make it difficult. And I feel like he's now suddenly cut himself off from me. What can I do to get him back? I'm so, SO! upset! I need to know what I can do to fix things... IP: Logged |
libraschoice7
Knowflake Posts: 930
From: wild wild west
Registered: Jul 2006
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posted January 20, 2007 07:18 PM
Sending you lots of hope and good thoughts  ------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer I "FEEL" therefor I am IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 4415
From: Generic New England City
Registered: May 2003
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posted January 20, 2007 08:28 PM
You're trying to hard to hold on, you are a Taurus not just a geminilover.Be strong and do things for yourself, maybe go out by yourself for a while. Instead of needing him, let him come to you when he is ready. Be sure you don't really need him anymore and don't want him to depend on you and then he will feel free. It's not an easy road being a Taurus with a Gemini but you can't fix things that are not okay in a relationship, it is what it is. You going to counseling won't fix the reasons you fight, or your need to control things right now. You can only control yourself. Natasha
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GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 898
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted January 21, 2007 03:28 AM
Yes... you're right Natasha. Ironically enough he's stayed around this long (now over a year and a half) I guess because I haven't been clingy or needy... but when I love I have deep emotions, so the thought of him not being here every night is an emotional shock. If it wasn't for the emotions all coming to the surface because this is so wrapped up in the big argument we had, and if it was a decision based rationally on the idea that we need physical space, then I would be fine.But, today nothing more has been said and we seem to be on an even keel again. Things are always so up and down... can't wait for our progressed composite to form that grand water trine! Sigh. IP: Logged |
BornUnderDioscuri
Knowflake Posts: 1257
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted January 21, 2007 07:25 PM
quote:
but now I so badly want to fix things and I feel like it's too late and this WILL lead to a breakup.
Its not too late to change things its never too late just be sure ur fixing the right thing. You got to get to the source if the problem. Counseling will help u get to the source of the problem and that way u can fix it IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 898
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted January 21, 2007 09:00 PM
My personal view is that he's bored with his life. He knows that and he knows he needs to change it. I can't be responsible for what he does with his own life... he asks me and then if I make a suggestion he says "don't tell me what to do". So yeah ok. Whatever. I told him today that I won't make any more suggestions if that's how he's going to react. Hey it's not my fault he freezes up when it comes to actually doing something of substance. I'm sick of the whole stupid game. I've asked him straight out if he wants to break up and he always says no. Yet he makes no effort to improve things. So I let him know he's free to go at any time, still he does nothing.
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sthenri
Moderator Posts: 4415
From: Generic New England City
Registered: May 2003
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posted January 21, 2007 09:02 PM
Its' good to talk to other people about your feelings, but Geminis really do well in counseling. The one I was with ended up seeing a counselor just to help sort out his own emotions. Geminis do have unexpressed emotions that hang around and we pick up on them.In any case, it takes two, good luck with the counseling and stick with it. Natasha
IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 898
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted January 21, 2007 09:19 PM
Yeah he just doesn't express things and gets irritable instead. It frustrates me that it just keeps going round and round. His mother told me that he has deep feelings for me and that it annoys him to know that he has such feelings because he'd rather not have them. Sooo... that's hardly my fault, or my problem. You know???IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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