posted January 21, 2009 02:45 PM         

I would appreciate some insight and advice.

I am an Aquarius (Feb 6th 1983)
my boyfriend is an Aquarius (Jan 25th 1983)
and the other guy D is an Aries (April 15th 1983)

I know for a fact that I love my boyfriend; he would make a great husband and a great dad. I also know that if we stayed together we would live a very happy & stable life. He is my best friend, someone who just accepts and loves me for who I am. We have been together for 7 years (on and off)

on the other hand

I am magnetically drawn to D. I have known him for about 4 years now (we first started dating when my boyfriend and I were on one of our “breaks”). When we first met he wasn’t ready to be serious, he didn't want to hurt me so we parted ways but always kept in touch. But something keeps pulling us back together. Whatever it is, it has this hold on me that I can't shake. Its not like we connect in terms of having great conversation and him just accepting me the way I am, the way my boyfriend does. Quite frankly sometimes he can be such a jerk but I see past the wall he puts up and knows there is better person behind it all. We just connect on this weird level, a deep level that I can’t explain and he feels it also. We have since spoken and he says he is ready to be serious but I told him he was too late.

I am not going to leave my boyfriend for another man especially when I do really love my boyfriend but why is D still in the picture, why can’t I get him out of my mind? Why do we have such a strong connection after all these years? I guess my main questions are, how do I know who I should really be with? Is it possible that D and I have a soul connection or he is my twin soul flame?

posted January 21, 2009 03:19 PM         

i dont know if that will clarify why you are so drawn to D but anyway i think you might find the read interesting

quote:

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"Emotionally we are drawn to people who feel familiar on an energetic level. That is, people who, on an emotional vibrational level, resonate with us as being familiar. It feels to us as if we have a strong connection to those people. In other words, we have an inner radar system that causes us to be attracted to people who resonate vibrationally in a way that is familiar on an emotionally intimate level. We are attracted to people whose inner emotional dynamic is similar to our most powerful and earliest experience of emotional intimacy and love - our parents."

"Codependents focus on others to keep from looking at self. We need to let go of focusing on the other person and start focusing inside to understand what is happening. Our adult patterns, the people we have been in relationship with, are symptoms - effects of our childhood wounding. We cannot solve a problem without looking at the cause. Focusing on symptoms (which our society is famous for: war on drugs; war on poverty: etc.) will not heal the cause.

The reason that we get involved with people who are unavailable, is because we are unavailable."

"It is not possible to love someone enough to get them to stop hating, and being unavailable, to them self. We need to let go of that delusion. We need to focus on healing our self - on understanding and healing the emotional wounds that have driven us to pick people who could not give us what we want emotionally. We need to develop some healthy emotional intimacy with ourselves before we are capable of being available for a healthy relationships with someone who is also available."

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posted January 21, 2009 03:32 PM         

This def. puts a different spin on it. I do feel that there must be something in my spirit or soul that recognizes something in his spirit or soul.

I do think that wanting something that is unavailable has deep rooted implications of how you feel about yourself or possibly others in you life ( my father who was never around)

Now D is saying he is available, he is ready to step up and part of me wants to explore the possibilities with him, to see where our union can take us.

But going back to your point, I have a feeling that if I were with D in a serious relationship, I would want to be with my current boyfriend instead... i know confusing right.

I don't know if it comes from me just really wanting what I don't have and being an indecisive person or just from me really feeling a deep down connection with both men and knowing that I can't have them at the same time... sigh

Whatever it is I want to be happy....stable and consistent happy would be with my current boyfriend. Exciting & passionate happy would be with D....

posted January 21, 2009 04:03 PM         

"Whatever it is I want to be happy....stable and consistent happy would be with my current boyfriend. Exciting & passionate happy would be with D...."

If you had neither of these men in your life and you were alone. Would you be happy?

posted January 21, 2009 04:36 PM         

But I would like any other opinions based outside of the father daughter missing connection.

posted January 21, 2009 04:48 PM         

I agree does not always have to be the case..Plenty of stories come here and I hear on the internet about those soul connections where ppl are married and happily at that and meet a certain person and they have no idea what happen to them all of a sudden they can't get this person out of their head and what not..I am trying to figure out just what causes that kind of connection..Its hard to fight but when a person loves their husban or wife they fight it..However that other person will forever be thought of even if its from time to time..

posted January 22, 2009 02:26 AM         

quote:

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But going back to your point, I have a feeling that if I were with D in a serious relationship, I would want to be with my current boyfriend instead... i know confusing right.

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Not confusing at all, very normal and understandable. It sounds like an occasion for Door #3. You aren't actually interested in a one-on-one, forever relationship with either of these guys (which is totally understandable and okay), but you really really wish you were. It's a time in your life when you really need to explore the world outside of one (or even two) committed relationships. When you have your Saturn Return, you'll go through some intense, important transformations. The time for you to commit to one person will come several years after the Saturn Return is over and you've been able to really explore and experience those changes.

posted January 22, 2009 10:52 AM         

Capricorn Rising
Moon in Capricorn
Libra Sun in the 8th House

posted January 22, 2009 11:49 AM         

In a way everyone makes a valid point

posted January 22, 2009 09:31 PM         

Pimpette,
Your welcome, and just for the record I think you do too. *wink*

posted January 24, 2009 02:11 AM         

quote:

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I already think I know what that answer already is....

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A typical Aquarian trait.

posted January 26, 2009 04:07 PM         

I don't know when D was born

My boyfriend was born around 6:00 am and I was born early in the morning around 3:00 am (I think). Sorry I couldn’t get more precise info.

Also, the answer that I already know is that when it comes to who adds to my life, who I connect with and inspires me to be a better person, there’s no competition, that’s my boyfriend. He truly is my best friend and rock. In the long term I want to be with my boyfriend.

(its just that sometimes I find myself strongly wanting D and I guess I should continue to ignore those feelings :/ , I just wish I didn't feel them at all)

posted January 27, 2009 02:24 AM         

While in relationships I myself have felt similar to the way you do right now. Years later I've found that some of the people I was attracted to then, have changed in ways that don't really resonate with who I've now become... or alternatively I've thought about little things they said or did, and come to the conclusion that they would have never been right for me after all. lol.