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Author
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Topic: If you love someone, let them go..?
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cheshirekat
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: wonderland
Registered: Jan 2009
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posted February 28, 2009 01:22 AM
 
Why do people say that? My sister told me that this morning before I left. "If you really loved your friend you would let him go." I don't understand, when you love someone doesn't letting them go hurt? Is it a selfish thing to hold on to someone you love or something?I guess in a way it is but do you have to let go of someone "completely", like mind body and soul to heal? Im confused, tell me, how do you feel about letting go of people you love and what advice would give about letting go of someone you love. IP: Logged |
raj_105_2001
Knowflake Posts: 1362
From: Chennai
Registered: Apr 2001
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posted February 28, 2009 01:47 AM
It is certainly not a selfish thing. quote:
I guess in a way it is but do you have to let go of someone "completely", like mind body and soul to heal?
Yes, definitely. As long as you hold on to them, you will suffer and they in turn may resent being have to be "caught" by you tenaciously. I have observed it personally. The tighter you try to hold on to a straining relationship, the worse it gets. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 3543
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted February 28, 2009 12:13 PM
raj_105_2001  quote:
As long as you hold on to them, you will suffer and they in turn may resent being have to be "caught" by you tenaciously. I have observed it personally. The tighter you try to hold on to a straining relationship, the worse it gets.
I totally agree!
My take on letting go I posted elsewhere.
quote:
It is not always pleasant to be alone,
but feeling lonely even while with someone is by far much worse.
quote:
Who is our best mate?
I think it can also be different for different years in our lives.
Yes...one love for life is a beautiful concept, but is it for all people very realistic?
What about Mr./Ms "right for right now"?
My first ex was older and right at that time of my life.
My second was slightly younger than my current husband, but again, the right mate for that time in my life.
Both are now with women more suited to "where they are psychologically" in their lives now.
In fact...the moment the woman I KNEW ex#2 secretly pined for became free...
I subtly brought them together. They married each other some 11 years ago and seem very happy!
Also, sometimes we need to let go and walk away from toxic situations.
My family is very against me and my circle of gay close friends. They also hate me because I am not Christian.
I tried for decades to make them love me.
I finally realized I had to walk away from all of them (my parents and siblings)for my own good and sanity.
No it is not easy.
But it is for the best.------------------
Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 5436
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted February 28, 2009 05:36 PM
Yes! Let them go and if they return well... woo hoo!  IP: Logged |
Peri
Moderator Posts: 3271
From: Kyiv, Ukraine
Registered: Dec 2003
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posted February 28, 2009 05:55 PM
I think it depends on the situation.IP: Logged |
cheshirekat
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: wonderland
Registered: Jan 2009
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posted March 01, 2009 04:35 PM
Thank you for the responses. I've let go and now in the process of healing and being happy for my friend and I am moving on to my own path in life.Lexx- Thats going to be the biggest thing for me as a new lesbian because my family will not accept it as "normal" but I am no longer going to hide the true me to make others happy..I believe I deserve to be happy too.. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 3543
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted March 02, 2009 12:07 AM
cheshirekat  
{{{ }}}
I can relate to your situation.
No, it will not be easy.
However in the long run I assure you,
it is best to be true to yourself.
Love, Good Luck, and big hugs!
You definitely deserve to be happy!
Love
LEXX------------------
Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. IP: Logged |
cheshirekat
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: wonderland
Registered: Jan 2009
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posted March 02, 2009 04:16 AM
Lexx-Thanks so much for the encouragement and support, its not easy but I know I will be happy and freerer if I am being true to myself.IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 3543
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted March 02, 2009 01:18 PM
cheshirekat
Anytime!
I totally can relate!
Hugs!
Lexx------------------
Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. IP: Logged |
Aroshi1221
Knowflake Posts: 4
From: NC, USA
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted March 17, 2009 04:15 PM
You always let them go. What if someone didn't let you go? Wouldn't you classify him or her as a possessive or obsessive person? Do as you'd have done to you. Consider what Linda said about money in Star Signs; if you horde it for too long, it causes a "blood clot" in the veins through which money flows, but if you let it go, it comes back to you easily. You just have to believe it will. Focus on the emotions you want, not necessarily the person. Yes, there are wonderful people we encounter that we must leave sometimes, but there's always until next time. My ex fiance told me yesterday that he was no longer in love with me. That was the first time I'd heard it since we ended a few weeks ago and I still had hopes for the future. I let them go. Just because I want things to work with him doesn't mean I can keep him from moving on by my capricious feelings. There was a small bit of comfort, though. He said "I'm trying not to fall in love with you again. At least not yet." There's ALWAYS hope for the future, but move on and see what happens. Life is an adventure. ^_^ It's no fun if you don't live it and do what makes you happy, so whatever makes you happy, do it. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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