posted December 29, 2009 01:03 PM         

In my experience, deciding very clearly and in detail what it is we DO want -whether that be a relationship, a job, whatever- and then focusing all our attention and thought toward that goal, is what brings our dreams into reality.

Astrology is a very powerful tool, but in this case it seems to me that the answers you are looking for are within YOU, not in a natal chart.

Wishing you much luck and many blessings!

posted December 31, 2009 03:12 PM         

When it comes to dealing with a Scorpio man, you, my dear, need only ask what would I do in this situation – and why would I do it? His actions might not always be exactly what’d you’d have chosen in the same situation as he’s a man, and wired differently, but his motivations will be very similar if not identical to yours. I’m a Cancer, as is my husband, and I’ve learned that he will still confound me with some of his actions, but if I imagine myself doing those same things and ask myself why I’d have done them, I can always understand him.

From reading your story, I think it’s obvious you both feel an incredible attraction to one another - Perhaps him even more so than you. I don’t think it’s a danger factor for either one of you, nor do I think you are seeking attention. You are both Scorpio’s and know your own depths well enough to not be duped into a morally questionable situation by something as silly as danger, or validation. I think the you both sense a “sameness” in one another, a similarity of depth, a mystery that fascinates you, and it is magnetizing you together, drawing you inexorably closer to one another. This kind of attraction can have a powerful pull indeed. It might not be as deep as a connection, but it’s profound none the less.

I think it likely that a part of you senses this man has the potential to innately understand you better than anyone you have known before (because of your sun sign connection), and since every one of us yearns for someone to understand the deepest, darkest parts of our souls, there could be few things more seductive than what he offers you.

What’s (rightfully) holding you both back is that inerrable moral compass I mentioned earlier. Most Scorpios have it – although not perhaps as strong and true as yours is. I truly believe that is why you are trying to push him away and very likely why he has pulled back – because you would never dishonor yourself, or intentionally ruin a relationship. Perhaps your reasons are empathic – you’d never want it done to you, so you refuse to hurt someone else (his girlfriend) in the same fashion. I can’t speak to your specific motivations, but I everything in your post makes me think you are someone with unwavering moral strength (as is evidenced by your years of tortured faithfulness even when confronted by the greatest temptation). This strength is something to take pride in – so please don’t doubt yourself or attribute weaker motivations to your actions.

I do not think you are crazy, and were this man single, I would encourage you to run straight towards him and joyfully explore the depths of each other. But since he is committed to someone else, and I think both you and he would be tormented if you acted against your moral compass, I’d suggest a respectful and kind conversation, and then you bowing out of his life for a time. It’s the only honorable thing to do – and you’ll both respect each other more if you can find the strength to do it. Whose to say what the future holds, but for now, let him go.

posted January 03, 2010 01:43 AM         

I don't know if you are the only one he's kissed unbeknowns to his girlfriend.

Moral compass? Would he kiss you the way that he did in front of his girlfriend? How would YOU like it if YOU were the girlfriend? You should have slapped his face when he kissed you so that he would know you DON'T Play that and that you have a HUGE amount of RESPECT for yourself.

"my ideal partner would have sufficient strength of character to leave a relationship that was not right even if that meant being on their own."

This is great and I admired you in that statement as I am like-minded. But your following statement counter-acted it.

"I will continue to remain friendly but distant, and let time work the rest out."

I would give him a warning stare every time he came near me. Scorpio-to-Scorpio both know how to communicate with your eyes. So you know what will work. He needs to know his PLACE with you. You are not a game.

But maybe he is a game to you.

???

Your "friendliness" is your way of giving him hope so that if/when he breaks up with his girlfriend you are interested. I think you suspect that he is unhappy with his girlfriend, or you are trying to find out....and you want to know more about him during this interim for you to decide whether to give him some play. I base that on your title: "Scorpio girl struggling to figure out scorpio guy".

After all, the kiss "was passion lacking".... and he certainly is not your idea of an IDEAL partner.

Boy, is he in for a surprise if he does break up with the girlfriend if he gets the "green light" vibe from you! Again, scorpio-to-scorpio.

So what are you really looking for at this point in your life, eskimono? If you are entertaining thoughts of him (made clear by posting on this board), you can't be seriously looking for love.

I base that on your own statements above about "minor liasions having strong undeniable connections"...not knowing how to "date/flirt/initiate" ... can't seem to engage in anything light-hearted"..."never really felt a connection (with the scorpio colleague)"...

If those are the things that intrigue you, what in the world do you want with this guy? He comes up as a zero in every way that seems to matter to you.

posted January 03, 2010 10:08 PM         

What assumptions? My response was quoting what you wrote.

"This kiss came out of nowhere, and I was drunk."

Nothing just happens.

Now you didn't write that you were drunk in your initial post. Ok, Drink Responsibly next time and eliminate the mac daddy of all excuses.

eskimono, I began my previous response supporting you and your moral character. Then I looked at from another angle. You didn't post the email messages from him (and it's none of my business), so there's no way for us to know if he apologized or what.

"My approach is, so we kissed? You have a girlfriend, get on with your life."

Is this your true attitude? Sounds really blasé -- very different from what you wrote:

"However, I have a little nagging doubt in my head that asks me whether I am yet again closing down an opportunity that really I should be going after. It is something I do repeatedly, and I am trying to learn to stop it. It's not easy, I rely heavily on my instincts, and in this situation the messages are confused."

IMO, the guy doesn't sound like your type -- as in: he is not single. According to what you said you found him attractive "but never really felt a connection.... this had more to do with other females liking him and I was never one to follow the crowd!"

posted January 08, 2010 03:43 PM         

Scorpios can pick up on sexual energy anywhere. As stated, you're vulnerable and giving off a lot of sexual vibrations right now. That's attracting him to you.

He told you he's very committed to his girlfriend, then kisses you. Scorpio men are often/always open for sex, a committed/emotional/exclusive relationship, however, is off topic. He told you he was committed to his girlfriend. I'm inclined to believe this. More than anyone, the Scorpio man, can separate love & sex.

posted January 13, 2010 05:22 AM         

Hmmm, I don't know about that comment, Nine. Are you saying they will have sex for the sake of sex in general or as an exception? Exception, meaning they are not getting any otherwise, and are burning with desire that drives them to take whatever is offered?

From what I know of scorpio men, they are very picky about who they have sex with (if you want to call it sex, they usually call it making love), especially if they are going to cheat on their committment. There must be something of an emotional affair going on. And that "affair" would have to be pretty powerful for them to actually be intimate with someone outside of their committment.

I agree with what you say about them knowing the difference between love and sex. But again, from my experience, "sex" is a very powerful way that they express their love for you, and to that end, it's not usually called "sex". So I'm not quite understanding your comment about "scorpio men are often/always open to sex...".

posted January 13, 2010 04:53 PM         

If you're separated from each other by distance, they will take advantage of (if not out hunting) the local offerings.

If in a committed relationship, like the guy in this thread, they'll surrender to temptations of the flesh.

posted January 13, 2010 07:13 PM         

Scorpios don't handle LDR very well and they will tell you that.