posted November 24, 2010 10:31 PM            

I do sense that he is very sensitive deep down. Wow, 10 years together congratulations! Any further insights would be appreciated.

posted December 03, 2010 05:13 PM            

Not one to follow advice (I'm a Sag), I ended up with a Taurus that suffered from Narcissistic personality disorder and then dated a few others (Cancer, Aries and even a Pisces) until I met my husband, Bear the Leo (he's became a member here after we met) at a charity event. Since that Superbowl Sunday almost 5 years ago we have been inseparable, with the exception of two deployments and a stretch when he was in Germany and we were waiting on the Army to get me out there.

The Good:

He is incredibly attentive and spoils me and I spoil him. He refers to me as "my beautiful wife and queen" which is so awesome and of course I call him my "handsome husband and king". He really is all Leo (August 15th) and I am all Sag (December 16th). He brings home flowers for no reason, he writes me beautiful cards and calls several times a day just to see how I'm doing (even though he just saw me and knows he'll be home from work for lunch / evenings). LOL..

He loves that he never has to worry about the house, the animals or finances because I take care of most of those things, however, he does help a lot (just not the finances because it works better that way with him in the Army and the possibility of him being deployed at any time).

He is romantic, moreso than I am, and incredibly affectionate. He is also very passionate and good at being passionate

He is also sensitive, caring and strong. Some Military wives have husbands that don't help in the details during PCS moves (where we move from state to state or from the US to another country and back). We worked together in our two big international moves from here to Germany and it was as easy as a big move can be because of him and his previous knowledge (he's been stationed in two other foreign countries).

Most important though, we have excellent communication, even though he has a Pisces moon and I sometimes walk on it without meaning (Sag with an Aries moon) but we always work through the weird spots. We also laugh a lot and I like that I am his jester at times.

The bad:

He can appear to be brooding and is often gruff with others but usually only when they have insulted him or acted like idiots. Still, there are times I find myself giving him a "look" and he'll say 'I know.. I'm letting the Leo show". He can be overly protective and in the beginning he always wanted to rush to my aid for what he perceived as "a damsel in distress" when a few drunk idiots were hitting on me. I told him that I have been handling myself for the better part of 40 years (35 at the time) and when he saw me in action, he just leaned back and enjoyed the show. Still, he will rush out with his claws fully extended if he thinks someone is slighting me.

I can't say that is bad, but sometimes, being a Sag, I like to handle things a bit more diplomatically.

The ugly:

Oh.. the most ugly aspect has nothing to do with him but his disgusting ex-wife. We've both been married before and my ex-husband is not in the picture. We divorced as friends and drifted apart, which seems natural to me. He has children and his ex-wife has done her best to use them against him to the point of making them call her husband "dad". Nothing offends a Leo like another man (or women) calling their children mom or dad. He has always provided for them and we've spent thousands flying out to see them only to have her slam the door in his face and say NO. Sadly, living in Germany made it impossible for him to take her back to court. It broke my heart when she would instruct the kids to say "Hi, this is so and so, and I don't want to talk to you Bear-dad" Yep, that is what they called him to make sure he was not considered "dad".

Why did she do this? She was bitter. She wanted the divorce, moved in a guy while they were separated and he was paying for everything (he was stationed in Korea) and then married shortly after the divorce. She just doesn't like they are no longer together even though she doesn't want him. In addition to the money spent to see the kids (which would not be an issue if Bear had been allowed to see them) but we also had to pay over $15,000 in bills she put in his name and forged his signature before the divorce. Now we have to get lawyers to get it all fixed.

The other ugly part? His mother. He has a terrible relationship with her and I tried to be the peacemaker only to discover WHY he doesn't have a relationship with her. She is a meddling, intrusive, gossip hound that would try to tell me how we should live our lives. My own parents, whom I am close to, don't even try to tell me how to live my life, I will not accept that from someone I'm not even related to.

In all of this though, we stood together. No body has your back like Leo, at least not in my experience. My brother married a Scorpio and I can say that they are very similar in their loyalty.

Just never humiliate your Leo. If you have something to say to him or you are upset with him, say it in private. Also, if you are both young, take things with a grain of salt. I tease Bear with the fact that I am 100% sure that had we met in our early to mid twenty's we would not have made it together if we would have even gotten together at all. I was your typical Sag flinging arrows everywhere and he was a cocky Lion with a chip on his shoulder.

Leo's also like to feel needed. There are many things I can do on my own because of how I am and the fact that I have been single longer than I have been married. When he was deployed, I was in Germany for a year without him and had to take care of almost everything, still when he came home, I made sure he was able to walk right back into our domestic life and take care of the things he did before he left.

posted December 15, 2010 10:34 PM            

Guess I'm trying to reconcile what I know about him, what he says and what I want. He seems to care deeply about me. Very protective and I've met his family who I get along with very well, even his Mother. I see something else in him that even my friends saw when they met him, a certain sadness in his eyes. In my silly mind I think he wants to love but is afraid as he has said. Ah, maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part. I have talked about this with him and he says he would give up other women for me, that they mean nothing but it still bothers me and am afraid I'm pushing something that he might not be capable of. We've been in limbo lately because of this. However, I can't help being affectionate (kissing, hugging) with him as he seems to bring that out of me. I want to love him badly, give him %100 but I don't want to be a fool. He wants me to trust him and I want to but....

Should I just toss my cares aside and go for it? Probably, huh? Like how I answer my own questions? LOL! Am I being too cautious? I realize it's always a risk getting involved with anyone but given what I posted about him, would this be a bad risk?
Loyalty is extremely important to me as I thought it was to Leo's but I don't want it to be a one-sided thing.

posted December 16, 2010 08:03 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Steam:
BearsArcher, Thank you so much for sharing your story. A lot of what you say describes him but this is my worry. He has two grown children by two different women and he has never been married. He claims to be afraid of marriage and of getting hurt. I have no children and have never been married but for the reason I've never met a man I wanted to marry even though I've had long term relationships but knew when marriage came up, it wouldn't last. So, I don't like to make promises I can't keep. I'm not saying I want to marry him but I'd like that to be an option if we get to that point. His past and him saying he doesn't want to get married is from his sister-in-law who is my friend and how we met. He has not said this to me directly. But, he is known for having many girlfriends (being a pro fisherman) I guess he has them in many ports. And I've read that a Leo w/ Libra moon is not that interested in relationships so yeah, I'm scared to give my heart totally although I want too.

Guess I'm trying to reconcile what I know about him, what he says and what I want. He seems to care deeply about me. Very protective and I've met his family who I get along with very well, even his Mother. I see something else in him that even my friends saw when they met him, a certain sadness in his eyes. In my silly mind I think he wants to love but is afraid as he has said. Ah, maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part. I have talked about this with him and he says he would give up other women for me, that they mean nothing but it still bothers me and am afraid I'm pushing something that he might not be capable of. We've been in limbo lately because of this. However, I can't help being affectionate (kissing, hugging) with him as he seems to bring that out of me. I want to love him badly, give him %100 but I don't want to be a fool. He wants me to trust him and I want to but....

Should I just toss my cares aside and go for it? Probably, huh? Like how I answer my own questions? LOL! Am I being too cautious? I realize it's always a risk getting involved with anyone but given what I posted about him, would this be a bad risk?
Loyalty is extremely important to me as I thought it was to Leo's but I don't want it to be a one-sided thing.

---

@Steam.
IDK I think your reading him wrong... I never wanted to get married, and I would say that I am "afraid" of love... But not meaning it, in the way it sounds... Im not afraid of love per say.. Im more afraid of falling out of love, or confusing something else for "love".. I want to be 10000000000% sure its love.. I dont want to make the same mistakes I have made over the years... Your pulling away from him only confirms his thoughts that you could just fall out of love with him...( maybe.... idk)

As a Leo needs to feel loved, to feel good about themselves, when your younger its very confusing, bc when some one cares for you, it feels so good, but gets confusing at the same time... Its been very hard for me to know who I really care for or not.. (but maybe thats my pisces. asc..lol)
Anyways any type of pressure from you to him, will send him on his way... If Im pressured in any way, I will do the opposite..
My advice is tell him, how you feel, be honest and clear and direct.. Tell him its up to him to figure out what he wants and what would make him be the happiest... Tell him to only think about himself, and not to consider your feelings at all.. (sounds harsh, but it will make him focus on what he really wants) Give him space and or time to figure it out... Tell him when he's ready to let you know... Then "act" like nothing.. Dont pressure for an answer.. Once you get your answer you can see if it works with your needs and wants..

My uncle was severely against marriage, he was with one woman for over 10 years.. She demanded marriage... Telling if marry me or I will leave... He didnt want to loose her, so he married her... but Idk he felt forced into it, and was against it.. A week after they married, they divorced and never saw each other again.....

posted December 18, 2010 01:32 AM            

Yes, I hate pressure and wouldn't want to pressure him into anything. It's too soon although things have moved very fast as I'm already included in family functions and such. So I've made comments here & there about other women he has or may have but I don't want to pressure him so I don't bring up what he has said about marriage.

posted December 18, 2010 02:43 AM            

He wants you to be jealous to see if you care, but he doesn't want to be be possessive, or really get mad.... lol

I know its very hard to pass a test... I have to admit, I do bring up other men, but I do it sort of differently.. Not saying I have someone on else... Humm hard to explain.. I will have to think about how I do it, its just automatic... Idk what Im really doing... lol....

Jus take it one day at a time, but expect lil test here in there.. But I think the Pisces in you will do it also... NO?????

posted December 20, 2010 04:34 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lioness:
I think bringing up other women is a lovely Leo test... lol...

He wants you to be jealous to see if you care, but he doesn't want to be be possessive, or really get mad.... lol

I know its very hard to pass a test... I have to admit, I do bring up other men, but I do it sort of differently.. Not saying I have someone on else... Humm hard to explain.. I will have to think about how I do it, its just automatic... Idk what Im really doing... lol....

Jus take it one day at a time, but expect lil test here in there.. But I think the Pisces in you will do it also... NO?????

He probably wont pass your test either... lol

---

Lioness, I'm an Aries, the practical equivalent of a simpleton. Or village idiot. We rush in with very little to go on. I hate tests & game playing. What I do go by is my intuition about someone. Maybe that's the Pisces coming into play. I also have venus in Pisces, so when I fall, I fall hard.

So I keep dipping my toes, testing the water but afraid to make that jump like he wants me to. The Aries in me wants to go at it full force but the Pisces is looking at the long-term possibility. Because when I go in, it's for good, and it'll break my heart (again) if it doesn't work out. But, yeah, there is no true guarantee of not getting your heart broken. Think he feels the same way. We both seem to be a bit afraid of each other but he's showing more courage.

posted January 04, 2011 06:13 PM            

All of my Leos turned into super possessive stalkers... coupled with the fact that they were promiscious.

Lol just my experience.

posted January 04, 2011 07:55 PM            

Sorry it has taken me so long. I must have missed when you responded earlier.

Lioness made a ton of great points My Leo also said he would never get married (and never told me until after we got married LOL). I think when they find the right person and the circumstances are right they "pounce" on the chance to make a commitment.

I also wanted to thank you for the compliment and well wishes for my Leo being in the Military- it means a lot

posted January 04, 2011 11:33 PM            

Oh those tests! Very true. He seems to wait for me to say I don't like this or that & then he just agrees easily. Like he has it in his mind how he wants me to react and I'm doing his bidding, lol!

Also, I just can't help loving him. He brings that out of me. So I decided to just go with my true feelings & not worry about the outcome.

posted January 05, 2011 12:41 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Steam:
UPDATE: I'm so glad I asked for advice early on.

Oh those tests! Very true. He seems to wait for me to say I don't like this or that & then he just agrees easily. Like he has it in his mind how he wants me to react and I'm doing his bidding, lol!

Also, I just can't help loving him. He brings that out of me. So I decided to just go with my true feelings & not worry about the outcome.

---