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Author Topic:   Piscean men and rejection
seeker3030
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From: UK
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posted November 30, 2010 05:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Has anyone got any insight on Pisces men?? He's adopted so unfortunately don't know his accurate time of birth but based on a lot of factors (personality, what he's been told about the possible time etc) I'm going with a Cap asc.

All was going so beautifully and then all of a sudden he went a bit distant and quiet and I felt he was almost pushing me away. He assured me when I asked if he was ok that he was fine and then kissed me but still kind of quiet and his underlying behaviour seemed to be wanting to be by himself. The weird thing is at the same time he was still talking about seeing me again and what we'd do in a positive flirty way. I should mention at this point he's a Sergeant in the British Army and was home on leave for a week but now he's gone back to where he's based in Germany. He'd arranged to come back over in a couple of weeks (which might now have been cancelled I imagine) but despite his flirtyness/planning, it felt as if there was something he wasn't telling me and that he was (for the moment at least) trying to get rid of me.

He was off out with some mates that night and his parting shot was "hopefully see you over the weekend, and apologies in advance for any drunken texts you get from me tonight." No texts came all weekend!

I sent a text on Saturday night (after feeling well and truly snubbed) saying "Something I said, or didn't say I wonder?? Or maybe just 2nd thoughts. Either way it was good to meet you and thank you for a lovely time. Safe journey back " Arguably that's a very 'cold' text for me (usually I'm much more affectionate) but I felt dispensed with.

I didn't hear anything until 5am (!) Monday morning when his reply came... "Oh. Ok. Well I can't say I'm not disappointed but yeah, I had a lovely time too."

I texted back straight away telling him to check his email when he could and promptly sent him one explaining why I'd sent that text and that I'd thought he'd had 2nd thoughts and was pushing me away. No reply so I sent another yesterday evening apologising if I'd misread things and thanking him again for such a lovely time. I told him I really missed him (we're used to speaking every day) and that at the very least I didn't want to lose his friendship and at the very most, there were a great many things about him I didn't want to lose. Still nothing. He's been online but hasn't replied to me so I honestly don't know what to make of it. Why say he was disappointed (as though I'd finished things) after he'd been the one almost pushing me away?!

Can't knit up the two ends of this - on the one hand he was affectionate and flirty making plans to see me again and on the other he was practically shoving me away! And the silence is deafening now despite my having explained and apologised. I suppose I'd best assume the worst and lick my wounds.

I should mention that when we were together he was physically very affectionate, putting his arm around me, kissing me, stroking my hair etc. So I'd been given no sign until his 'distance/silence' that anything was wrong.

I've posted the charts although we do still have to take them with a pinch of salt due to the inaccuracy of his birth time. Oh... he's an 8 person and I'm a 4 person by the way, and we all know what Linda says about that!

Any thoughts?? I'm on the inside of the synastry chart.

Synastry

Composite


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hippichick
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posted November 30, 2010 10:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i am not going to get into the astro of this, will leave this to the experts!

but, i am one and i have loved one..

yes we have to get away, and it is not rejection, and one should not take it, personally, like that.

sometimes we just need to swim away. once we have been with someone for a while, the swimming often is mental, or on a soul level, but till then, it is often physical.

i will offer no excuses, but we just have to get away, sometimes. for me as an ultra sensitive female, it is to disburse the energies i have picked up along the way of my day, for my ex fish [love,] i think it was because he was running, from...something.

but, yes, we do flee...we rarely reject, we accept and love all, but please understand, we just cant deal 24/7, and one would be quite honored to be in the space of the pisces who has been allowed to flee..

t

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seeker3030
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posted December 01, 2010 08:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you hippichick!! That's really helped to explain a lot for me. I think I've been rather silly and put 2 and 2 together to make 9 (something my maths teachers would not be surprised at!) and I may have blown it as a result. Well I've apologised and explained why so hopefully if this union is meant to run any further it will. Thank you again xx

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GypseeWind
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posted December 01, 2010 09:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
'Can't knit the two ends together' is a very good way to describe dealing with a Pisces man.

At the risk of bashing, which I won't do, because I like the sign of pisces very much, just know that it isn't you, it's him.

We try to think of people in logical terms, and that just cannot be done with a pisces. The more you try the more they just slip through your fingers.

If you like never being able to predict how he is going to act, and when, then this is the guy for you.
It doesn't change with them, even if you've known them for years and years.

I still love my pisces ex, but found that I am a person who 'expects' certain things in order to be satisfied, and alot of pisces men just cannot handle expectations, it stresses them out.

*Hi Hippychick*

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seeker3030
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posted December 02, 2010 08:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank Gypsee and yeah I think you might be right. Because of my own nature I've been over and over every last detail/minute of when we were together in my head and tried to pick it apart to see what could have caused this silence/distance but I still can't come up with anything obvious. He was still talking about the next visit and making plans for what we'd do so to do this kind of 180 is puzzling to say the least! The night before he'd been really affectionate and kind of 'misty eyed' with me.

Yesterday I sent one last message (it's the last as far as I'm concerned) via email to ask why the silence and what had happened. I made it non-judgemental, non-confrontational and quite light and jokey (our usual tone) whilst still letting him know I really miss him and our converstaions. I've heard nothing. To me that's just plain rude to be honest. We're so very similar but this is one huge difference - I would never leave anyone in suspense like this especially if I'd led them on.

In your experience, do Pisceans generally come back from this kind of 'retreat'?? I'm not judging so please no one think that's in any way sarcastic or finger-pointing; I understand the need to be alone sometimes very well. I just wonder if it might be something he'll come back from. Really hope so.

Anyway, I wish him luck and happiness and I wish myself some enlightenment and peace with the whole thing. Sick of this kind of experience. Need to find some way of detaching a bit - really hurts and confuses me but hey, at least I know I'm alive eh?

Thanks again Gypsee, you make a lot of sense xx

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GypseeWind
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posted December 02, 2010 02:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Seeker;
In my experience, yes, they do come back, but usually by then, you are so frustrated that you don't care anymore.
OR, they come back when you've found someone else.
Dating a Pisces is like riding a roller coaster in the misty fog.
You know you are going up and you know you are going down, but you can't see when, you can hardly even predict it!

This time last year I was talking to my pisces ex, and I 'thought' we were very close, and making progress.
He was making plans to come back home to visit, and things were going ok.
Then over Christmas he wouldn't log onto his computer or answer my texts.
I couldn't imagine why, and I was so upset.

Turns out he just 'wasn't into' logging on every day, and was too tired to answer his texts. *eye roll*
He said something to the effect of that he didn't have the energy to do this every day.

So, I'm thinking, ok... don't have to tell me twice, I'll move on.
But when I QUIT calling/texting/emailing him, suddenly there he was, writing on my FB wall everyday, sending me songs, texting me, "I love you."

And he would do that until he got my attention back, and then we'd start the cycle all over.

I got really frustrated last spring, and wrote him a not-so-nice email about everything, and then I just detached.

A few DAYS later (and mind you, he had been online cos I could see him posting other stuff) he replies with some mumbly thing about working alot.
Then turns around and acts like NOTHING EVER HAPPENED, AND I DIDN'T BREAK IT OFF!

If you are scratching your head, then you can imagine how it was for me.!

I have since quit writing him altogether, and got back together with the guy I was seeing before him, but he still gets drunk and posts silly stuff on the intenet, with little messages aimed at me.

Personally, I think he enjoys the state of being miserable. Plus he drinks alot. Does yours drink alot? That could be part of the problem.

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seeker3030
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posted December 02, 2010 03:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Blimey!!! Yeah I'm beginning to see a pattern.
Although until the weekend just gone we've spoken every day without fail and he'd admitted he hated being away from his phone (he picks up his email on it) in case he'd missed a message from me etc. And now we are in the communication equivalent of Siberia! ;D

Logic tells me he's changed his mind/he's not that into me etc but instinct says something else. Don't know which to believe anymore so just resigned to move on and leave him space to do what he will. Can't keep on cos I'll kill it stone dead if I do... if it's not already 6ft under!

Yep he does like a drink! Dunno whether it's an army thing but I noticed on our dates he could sink a few pints alright! G&T's too, and I'm just grateful we never got to the whisky stage!

Trouble is I really do miss him! I'd take friendship to be honest because we had such great conversations and rapport that it seems such a shame to lose all that. Still, you win some, you lose some I suppose.

My mum thinks he's got cold feet because of the situation - he's seperated from his wife (they split up amicably and are friends but haven't yet divorced - think it only happened a few months back) and he's living on the base now. My mum reckons he started to feel a bit more than he bargained for perhaps and then panicked because he looked at the fact that he's still married, he lives in Germany, he's in the army so gets posted all round the world and he's a keen sailor so goes off on sailing trips for months at a time so we'd hardly ever see each other. The jury's out on that as a reason but I suppose it might make sense.

Ah well. Ho hum
Thanks so much Gypsee though - that's really helped to see the potential reasons a bit clearer xx

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hippichick
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posted December 02, 2010 08:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hi ya gypsee!!

and yes, we are far from logical...spok would be dumbfounded!

i amuse myself, sometimes, thinking about my gem brother. strange things (illogical) come out of my mouth, probably too much, and he has more than once, tilted his head to the side, just like the mercurial bird that he is, in wonderment of what i just said! definately illogical!

sometimes i think the pisces energy is difficult for a man to handle, well a straight man anyway and sometimes i think pisces men can spend a whole lot of time running, and usually from themselves.

t

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hippichick
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posted December 02, 2010 08:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
gypsee, where is your ex's venus, moon and mars?

an interesting case study into the fish man!

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GypseeWind
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posted December 02, 2010 08:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Communication equivalent of Siberia! Genius, I have been to that very place, know just how ya feel. And Seeker, if you look in the back pages of this forum, and astro, you will find dozens of confounded women, all across the globe, who have also been to Siberia.

Hippichick;
Haha! I laughed out loud reading this because as you know I have a Pisces daughter, and I have been on the receiving end of many a Neptunian communication, and boy o boy, you said it. I am used to it though, and having Nept conj Merc helps.
I 'get' the girls, the boys, hmmm, not so much.
But, I believe it's as you say, a very hard sign for a male to have their sun in.
Whew, at least it is for the 3 I dated.

This particular fish is:
Cap Venus
Mars Leo
Moon Cancer

Aha! Now you see. The double water is too much for me. It took me forever to figure that, but I finally did! Now I know it's easier and a better fit for me to choose a fire moon.

*I was always going around thinking, "what did I do? what did I say?" Not a nice feeling to have, at all. Makes one always feel that their very foundation is shaky. Maybe some can handle that, but not me.

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Virgo-AriesArtist
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posted December 02, 2010 11:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo-AriesArtist     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would venture to say this is a Pisces Moon thing too, the whole disappearing-then-reappearing like nothing's wrong act...I have a close Gemini male friend, with a Pisces Moon (and Mercury/Mars in Cancer), and he pulls away without warning after getting all needy and friendly-intimate, then comes back not comprehending why we were all worried about him, you know, even thought he's got a very recent recovery from drugs and alcohol under his belt...::shrugs:: I've stopped trying to understand or control the cycles...

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seeker3030
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posted December 03, 2010 08:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks everyone x
Bit of a bad day today - just can't get past it all for some reason. It's not like this was the love affair of the century (well not yet but it felt like it had the potential to be something special) but I just can't shake it off. So hurt and puzzled by this silence. I know it'll pass as things always do but oh blimey I'm sick of being kicked in the guts like this! Saturn... please gimme a break??

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Diana
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posted December 03, 2010 04:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diana     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I had (basically) the same experience with a pisces. It was rude. I was willing to be friends but even that didn't work, because he didn't reply to the email he sent to me adter I responded back. Anyway, I'm not going to rehash the whole thing, but it was as described above. Come back, disappear, rude and inconsiderate behavior.

That behavior doesn't make me like someone more. If I am repeatedly ignored I move on. I don't get more into them or play a game. I just become indifferent.


So, you should just move on. And yes, he'll be back, but he'll always leave again. That's not what I'm looking for... Yuck.

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hippichick
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posted December 04, 2010 02:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
guypsee, i bet with that fire mars, he is forever running...

will get back to this thread later, ladies. my gma in indiana is dying, will be flying out soon,

blessings

t

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seeker3030
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posted December 04, 2010 04:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Loads of love to you and yours hippichick - a safe and peaceful journey to your grandmother xx

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GypseeWind
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posted December 06, 2010 03:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Seeker, so sorry for the way you feel.
If it is meant to be, it will. Maybe that is a useless platitude, and maybe it is the truth. I believe it's the truth. Either way, you can come here and talk about it, Lord knows I did, and it did help to know that I wasn't alone.

Hippichick My heartfelt condolences on your grandma. I know you haven't had the best year, and I pray for you much more joy to come in the next year. You are so very loved. xox.

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seeker3030
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posted December 06, 2010 08:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks Gypsee x

I'm 'ok' but it's really playing on my mind - mainly because it's not how I would behave if someone had explained and apologised to me. But we're all different and that's half the fun I suppose! ;D

I'm now wondering what's the best course of action. Whether to leave him alone completely or to send one last message. If I did send him one I have no idea what I'd say though. I'm tempted to say "For all our similarities this is one huge difference - I'd never treat someone like this." But that's probably a sure-fire way to send myself lock, stock and barrel to Coventry as far as he's concerned haha! Any advice?

I'm so sorry! I know I'm being a pain and probably flogging a very dead and stoney cold horse but irritatingly it's sometimes only when you lose something/someone that you realise how much it meant to you. Just want to know I've done everything I can.

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Virgo-AriesArtist
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posted December 06, 2010 09:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo-AriesArtist     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Seeker,

With the upcoming Mercury retrograde in less than a week, now might be the time to say all the things you want to say to him, re-processing, and re-organizing so to speak, on paper, so when the moment feels right, you'll have your thoughts clear.

JMHO

hippichick, so sorry to hear about your grandma. Bright lite to you and all the family right now

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seeker3030
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posted December 06, 2010 02:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Think you might be right VAA! It's just I don't know whether I'm silly to even bother. Just can't read the situation and keep going round and round in circles. I'm tempted to just do/say nothing but me being the control freak I am I hate not taking the iniative and sorting a problem out haha! The fact that I've already sent emails last week which have been ignored nd not replied to I think is my cue to lick my wounds and walk away - it was only the brief glimmer of hope that his text about being disappointed gave me that's making me wonder. Aaaaaaaggghhhhhh!!!!!! ;D. Sorry all x

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seeker3030
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posted December 06, 2010 02:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dp

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GypseeWind
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posted December 06, 2010 03:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Seeker, in no way are you bothering anyone. I just hate watching someone else go through this, cos I remember being on YOUR side of the looking glass at this time just one year ago.

Writing thoughts down sounds sensible to me. I mean, at least you'll have them out of your head, off your chest, etc.

But, I found that the more I wrote, the farther it sent him into the rabbit hole.
Which in turn made me furious enough to write yet another letter, thereby starting the chain over and over.

If a Pisces man doesn't want to respond, no amount of coaxing will make him.
I think I must of come off like I had mulitiple personalities or something,
because I would flip from sheer anger, to
apologetic and sypathetic.. then back to confrontational and mad. lol.
He just layed low and never said a word, so it was really a waste of time on my part.

Hopefully it will be different for you dear.

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seeker3030
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posted December 06, 2010 03:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Gypsee, that's so lovely of you! I think you're right it's best to just leave it now. If he comes back then he comes back and if he doesn't... well lesson learned either way I suppose.

Thanks so much for all your patience and support. xxx

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seeker3030
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posted December 11, 2010 10:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well now I'm thoroughly confused! I texted the Pisces today in a moment of strength/weakness/anger whatever you want to call it and he texted back! I said "So that would be a 'sod off' I'm guessing?? Really can't think what I've done to warrant such a cold shoulder. For all our similarities i've got to say I'm very glad this isn't a trait we share. I'm rather proud of my manners, honesty and consideration for other people. Still good luck, take care and happy sailing "

He replied "Ironically I was just thinking about you and regretting my behaviour. And you're right, it has been appalling. So, sorry."

I told him apology accepted and asked if there was any explanation and he said "None that really stand up beyond generally being an arse and not recognising a good thing when it comes along. So yeah, just an arse I guess."

I said "Care to stop being an arse and wipe the slate clean? As i said if you prefer to just be mates I'd understand and accept that. Really tried not to but I quite miss you... you arse "

Then he asked if he could phone me later at home so I gave him my number. Whether he actually calls me will be another matter because I'm now learning not to take anything for granted from this man!! Why on earth not speak for crying out loud if he felt like that?! I'm wondering whether that's a bit of a lie and he's just trying to get himself out of a tough spot by saying glib things like that.

AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! And breathe! ;D

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seeker3030
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posted December 12, 2010 04:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As I suspected he didn't call. I had a text from him about 9.30pm saying "Sorry, seem to have been waylaid. I'll call you tomorrow if you're in."

I think aside from any astrological explanation of his behaviour, this man is simply rude, unreliable and clearly not that interested. Something I'm just going to have to take on the chin. I just wish every time I decided to do that he wouldn't come back with some snippet of false hope to keep me guessing!

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hippichick
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posted December 12, 2010 07:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Gypsee and Virgo...thank you and blessings!

Seeker..,, if I were you, I would listen quite carefully to what Gypsee has to say, seems she re-lives my ex love quite perfectly in her words. Wish i would have known her before i gave my heart to one.

Having said that i AM one, tho, i have spoke out here before that it makes such a difference as to which gender one is speaking of when one is addressing the sun signs...

Again, i will say that i am quite sure a "man" has issues with dealing with the pisces energy, cause it is a very femanine energy.

run, run, run...

one day, i shall LOVE to meet the pisces man who is at peace with himself..

sigh...

blessings

t~~~

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