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Author Topic:   Is this Cancer man interested??
Redstiletto
Newflake

Posts: 4
From: Roswell, NM USA
Registered: Nov 2010

posted November 07, 2010 01:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Redstiletto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello everyone. I am dire need of all of your expertise!
I met a Cancer male online through a dating website. He messaged me first and asked if I would be interested in chatting or going out sometime. I replied a couple days later and he and I went to see a movie. When it was over he asked if I'd want to go have a drink or go hang out at his place or something. Well, we went back to his place and I did the unthinkable and slept with him. (had been 11 months for me). He was very passionate and even gentlemen-like as he drove me home. He texts me the next day and says he had a very nice time and would like to take me out again. So about 2 weeks later we went for dinner and the same thing happened that night. Again he was AMAZING and polite and such. Even offered for me to stay over if I didn't want to get up. I went home anyway. He had to go out of town this past weekend and I texted him to have fun and a safe trip and that I looked forward to seeing him again. He texted right back thanks and for me to have a great weekend. Please...I can do without lectures about 1st date sex...i know what I did. But i have read on so many posts on here that Cancer males are slow to warm up to a woman and that the girl should initiate contact and ask for the dates. I feel so wierd doing that, but I will if I think he is interested. He doesn't call me or e-mail me on a regular basis, but when I text or email he responds right away and is very very sweet. I am a Taurus and am VERY patient, I just need to know if I should hang in there and initiate, or wait around til (?) for him to contact me. I have two little girls btw and it is listed on my profile on that dating site. So he is aware that a relationship with me involves children. Is this relationship possible? Or have I become the status quo booty call? I really am interested in this man (he is 36 and I am 38). Please you guys...any advice or insight would be a gift. Thanks for your time!!

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 3480
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 07, 2010 01:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
When was the last time he contacted you?
Regardless of sign, this is a bottom line question

And no, I wouldn't judge you on when you slept with him. Tho I will say it sounds like you're beating yourself up enough about it.

PS - Not all Cancers quick to warm up. Throw the book out the window. I've seen Cancer men married within a VERY short amount of time, so there are always exceptions.

Whether or not you are booty call has more to do with his behavior over time and less to do with his sun sign.

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Redstiletto
Newflake

Posts: 4
From: Roswell, NM USA
Registered: Nov 2010

posted November 07, 2010 01:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Redstiletto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for your reply. Our second date was on Nov. 1st, and I texted him thsi past Friday telling him to have a fun weekend and he replied right back. But I added in that text that I looked forward to seeing him again, and he didn't make any mention of that. Just said thanks to me and to have a great weekend. It's only been since yesterday, that we communicated, and I'd love to see him this week. Just don't know if I am being paranoid or if he likes me for the moment.........aarrgghh!

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 3480
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 07, 2010 01:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Stiletto, don't worry about it (I'm the last to talk since I worry always)... it sounds like all is well and you are feeling nervous is all. Natural enough. He;s probably doing the same.

I'm not going to tell you that you slept with him too soon but the issue has more to do with vulnerability. You feel it, and that's what happens when we develop feelings. So keep us updated...

Do you know what he wants in relationship and has he told you how he feels about you? I think it sounds partially like you don't know.

PS - astrologically, this is a particularly touchy time and very hard on a lot of people. Might be good to keep that in mind

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Redstiletto
Newflake

Posts: 4
From: Roswell, NM USA
Registered: Nov 2010

posted November 07, 2010 01:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Redstiletto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He hasn't said anything at all to me about relationships or how he feels. We simply just have a good time in each other's presence. And you are right that I do feel VERY vulnerable. But i have that under control in that I won't ask anything of him that would make him uncomfortable. This is just my first time dealing with a Cancerian, and every boyfriend I have ever had wants to talk nonstop via texts and emails and such. And set up dates with me right away. This guy has me completely intrigued. Let me ask...should I be the one to contact him this week about getting together? Because I feel if I don't, it could be months if ever for him to contact. Are Cancers sincer when they SHOW (not say) affections to women, or are the majority just damn good players??

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 3480
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 07, 2010 11:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Honestly, Stiletto, I don't know because I have dated 2 Cancers and they were completely different in courtship lol
I want to say I didn't do the calling or contact at first and that they did, but I dont want to advise you wrongly. My general feeling here tho is that since you already do feel vulnerable, it's better to wait until he contacts you since the last time was you telling him you look forward to seeing him again so the ball is in HIS court and you've already told him what you want, i.e, you'd like to see him again soon.

If you had the rest of his chart I'd say put it up and we can look but I never go by sun signs alone since from what I've experienced everyone is waaay too different to be boxed in. I've dated supposedly security-oriented sun signs who were not, and freewheeling suns who were extremely relationship-oriented. I personally go by the moon sign and the Venus/Mars sign since they work for me a lot better.
And the rising sign because I've dated a Cancer rising who acted more like a Cancer than his fire sun sign lol

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Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 1840
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 09, 2010 11:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My advice--not because he's a Cancer, but because you are feeling so anxious--is to wait until he contacts you, and wait until asks you out.

That way when you're spending time with him, you'll KNOW for sure he wanted to see you.

It sounds like you're at a vulnerable point in your love life, so I can't tell whether you're feeling insecure because you're picking up a vibe from him, or because you'd feel that way period. But it sounds like you aren't quite ready to be in this situation.

In my experience, FEELING a tiny bit desperate or agonized--whether you hide it or not, and whether you sleep together early or waaay later--will either a) drive away a guy of any of the 12 signs or b) at best, if there's a great connection, he's very mature, and he accurately reads you, he will stay around but you won't be able to enjoy any part of getting to know him. So the thing to do is to find a way not to FEEL desperate, self-chastising, or agonized.

It would also be different if it were a more ambiguous situation, like you met at work and weren't sure he wanted a relationship with anyone. But you met online, and I assume he knows from your profile what you're looking for, and vice-versa. You told him you wanted to see him again, that's PLENTY.

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Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 1840
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 10, 2010 12:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I realize I never answered your question--"is he interested?"

Of course I can only offer an opinion distantly over the internet without having met either of you....but I think he is probably attracted but ambivalent, trying to learn more about you and see how things go. The early stages of dating, even if both people are really into each other right away, are fragile and full of ambivalance. So a good time to tread lightly and keep an open mind.

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Redstiletto
Newflake

Posts: 4
From: Roswell, NM USA
Registered: Nov 2010

posted November 10, 2010 01:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Redstiletto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you both so so much for your imput. You are right...it HAS been a while since I have been in the dating scene and I feel a bit like a teenager again with all the new feelings and such. I am going to take both of your advice and wait thisoneout, and hope for the best. We shall see and I will definately keep you posted. Your time in my affairs is so appreciated!

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ScorpSag
Newflake

Posts: 7
From: New York, NY USA
Registered: Nov 2010

posted November 26, 2010 01:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScorpSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

edited

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ScorpSag
Newflake

Posts: 7
From: New York, NY USA
Registered: Nov 2010

posted November 26, 2010 01:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScorpSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
deleted

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Isolaede
Newflake

Posts: 11
From: Sunny CA
Registered: May 2009

posted December 21, 2010 02:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isolaede     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Red:

I have loads of experience with Cancers. I’m a Cancer (with a Taurus moon) – and more of the enmeshment type that immerses myself deeply in relationships, and my husband is also a Cancer and of the more of the emotionally reserved and standoffish type (hard Saturn square on his moon). In my oppinion, your Cancer boy is definitely not contacting you as much as he should be if he was in full Cancer pursuit mode.

As I see it there are two possibilities here:

1. What Lucia said is very astute and probably accurate – he is attracted to you but ambivalent, and he may even have some reservations about the relationship (perhaps he’s not 100% sure he can deal with your children?). In this case, he’s keeping his options open (I think dating sites encourage this - people pass up on great opportunities because they are “waiting for better offers”), and your best bet is to take the time you do have with him and impress upon him just what an amazing woman you are. The quickest way to his heart is his stomach, so cook for him. You could make him a pie for the holiday’s perhaps? But also show an active interest in what makes him tick – ask him tons of questions that trigger his mind, emotions, and imagination. Few things make a Cancer’s heart sing more than someone that truly wants to understand the complexity of who they are. I posted a ton of “example” questions in another thread here about Cancers and one about Virgos but if you need some “question ideas” just let me know and I’ll give you a list. : )
2. The only other possibility is that maybe he’s not sure about how you feel . My husband is literally the most reserved Cancer I’ve ever met, and even he called me several times a week after the first week of dating. He would regularly (1-2 times a week), casually ask if I felt like “hanging out,” but then again I also replicated for him. I invited him over, and cooked dinner. I asked him out and bought him drinks and food as much as he did for me. I tried to make sure I called him almost as much as he called me, so he’d know I was interested. If you’ve been 100% waiting on him to call you, there is a chance he thinks you are not interested. Maybe you have an amazing poker face. So you might try feeling the waters by asking if you can cook dinner for him. Wear something classy and lovely, and be prepared to ask him tons of questions.

Hang in there – you are a Taurus lady so you are already ahead of the game here. It might just be my Taurus moon, but there are few signs I get along with better than yours. I think Taurus/Cancer makes one the most lovely matches.

Kindest regards,

Isolaede

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