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Author Topic:   Why you should take your time in relationships
MysticMelody
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Posts: 1066
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Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 10, 2009 09:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody        Reply w/Quote
This is an article from California Psychics http://californiapsychics.com/articles/Newsletter/3578/Practice_Patience.aspx
I have mentioned before that their articles are like Cosmo or Glamour for astrology fans. They are easy, fun, reads and I find most of the links in my Horoscope of the day email they send for free. Great horoscope and fun articles. I can't recommend the psychics because I have never called them (I don't call psychics, well, except my friends hehe), but the site is great. I like this article and it speaks many of the things I have brought up before as my own personal philosophy that I have not been following lately. Hopefully it will be just what someone needs to hear.

Practice Patience
It's the key to intimacy
by M. McMahon

Connecting with another person is one of the most sacred, exciting and spiritually challenging experiences we will go through in this lifetime. Sometimes we are brought the perfect person to teach us exactly what it is that we need to learn about love.

Yet what many of us are challenged by is being patient when it's time to build a relationship. Most of us want to know right away what it will "be." However, rushing the physicality of your connection just creates insecurity, and insecurity is the opposite of intimacy, which is the key to any successful relationship.

Feeling safe is what allows people to move forward, and this feeling can only be built over time. Intimacy has a lot of different levels, and it isn't just about physical connection - though that is an important part. Taking the time to listen and learn about someone new in your life will allow a closeness that is based on respect, in every area, to manifest itself.

So try and enjoy this building of a new relationship as much as the physical aspect. Hormones and fantasies can justify your impulse to jump right into something, but it won't help you find the deeper (lasting!) connection that comes from taking it slowly. So take a deep breath. Be grateful for your initial chemistry. Now slow down your mind - and open your heart.

Trust, and trust more
One of the reasons people who sincerely want a relationship sometimes jump into bed too quickly is that they are afraid if they don't "seal the deal" and bond in the bedroom, they will lose that person's interest. If they can just show they are skilled between the sheets, it will "fix" anything that's askew.

But the truth is, most of us connect compatibility in bed with compatibility in life. If it were as easy as getting and giving good sex, why would any of us talk to each other at all? If you want a love that is built on the simple joy of spending time together, then you must make that the focus of the initial courtship period.

If the connection is there, let it grow. Resist the urge to jump ahead. Everything ebbs and flows. You may feel it more on one date, and less on the next. Keep trusting, and accept the journey to evolve. Don't count dates. Don't analyze every word you say to each other. Trust that clarity will come at the exact right time. Wouldn't you rather spend a long time getting to know one person - and have it last - than have two or three more quick flings that leave you as alone as before?

Think evolution
There is a lot of advice out there about "playing hard to get." The sentiment is right, but the reasoning is often flawed. Making yourself artificially unavailable is like trying to get someone to drink a glass that's half-full. But having a full wonderful life that you slowly integrate a new person into is attractive. That's why your self-care is crucial to nurturing a relationship. Don't drop your life when you sense that your connection is growing. Yes, you might clear your Saturday nights, of course - but dropping plans with friends, giving up your fitness routine, or spending every night at your new love's apartment is just going to tell your new partner - "you are my whole life!" And that's a countdown to an ending - because the pressure becomes unbearable on them. Allow this next level of connection to evolve. Just because the connection is there doesn't mean it's time to change addresses, share finances, or adopt pets together! One day at a time... more will eventually be revealed.

No expectations!
Don't judge the speed of this relationship against anyone else's romances - or measure it by your own past relationships! If you surrender the fact that this is an utterly new relationship unlike any others, your path to love will be yours only - completely unique, and divine. You will relax into a profound freedom. There are only three outcomes to taking it slow: 1) it will grow into a deep and stable love, 2) you will lose interest, 3) the other party will lose interest. If you lose interest, you'll realize it was a good thing you found out before you had a joint credit card with them. If they lose interest, you'll have the clarity to look elsewhere. If it grows into a deep and stable love, it won't matter how long it takes.

Remember, while you're checking your watch and wondering, is this going to be what I want or not?, there is someone else in this story, and you have no idea what they are going through. They may still be emotionally letting go of someone else they had been seeing. They may be cleaning out old photographs that need to be gone from their home before you get invited over. Or they may just be giving their heart time to speak clearly.

So, pull back the expectations and have fun. Because above everything, the pursuit of love can be full of joy, and you get to bring that light. So laugh, smile and relax. Love has a way of arriving right on time.

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GypseeWind
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Posts: 6378
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009

posted December 11, 2009 01:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind        Reply w/Quote
OY! What I needed to hear for sure, but do you have any clue how hard this is for a person with an Aries Asc?????

I think I would rather have my fingernails pulled out or something, then wasting time if it isn't going to "be."

Plus all that time waiting to see if it will "be" only serves to bond me to the person just by their mere presence in my life.

I CAN'T WIN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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MysticMelody
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posted December 11, 2009 09:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody        Reply w/Quote
LOL

God grant Aries patience
AND HURRY!!!!!!

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wheels of cheese
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posted December 14, 2009 11:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheels of cheese        Reply w/Quote
Oh man, I wish I'd had this 16 months ago, would have saved a lot of hassle later on.

If they were so damn psychic they should have sent it to me then!

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MysticMelody
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posted December 15, 2009 03:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody        Reply w/Quote
lol you are awesome, Wheels

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Shankara
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From: Gainesville, FL
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posted December 16, 2009 09:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shankara        Reply w/Quote
Holy %$!@ I really needed that today! Thank you so much!

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StarrofVenusGirl
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Posts: 1314
From: Down the Rabbit Hole
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posted December 18, 2009 05:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarrofVenusGirl        Reply w/Quote
That was incredibly timely for me. Thanks!

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Lara
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posted December 24, 2009 08:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara        Reply w/Quote
quote:
OY! What I needed to hear for sure, but do you have any clue how hard this is for a person with an Aries Asc?????

hahaha my aries moon/venus exact cj just howled with laughter at this!!

LOL and i have an evil twin in the shape of my taurus sun/mercury exact cj that tries to teach my emotions patience 24/7!!! x

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seeleah
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From: kokomo, IN, USA
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posted December 25, 2009 09:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah        Reply w/Quote
Mystic Melody:

omg, that is exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you for being in touch with the universe to know what to say and where....for certain pple who really need to keep that perspective in mind. Thank you for your words.

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Lara
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posted December 25, 2009 10:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara        Reply w/Quote
Thank you Mystic, i've shared it with my FB friends

Merry Christmas to you!

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MysticMelody
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posted December 26, 2009 12:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody        Reply w/Quote
I'm so glad so many enjoyed it. ♥ I'm glad it keeps popping back up so I can skim through it and remind myself...

Seeleah, it is the magic of LindaLand. Welcome!

Merry Christmas to you too, Lara.

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MsCandeh
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posted December 27, 2009 09:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh        Reply w/Quote
Thanks for posting MysticMelody I needed to hear this too.

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MysticMelody
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posted March 16, 2010 09:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody        Reply w/Quote
bump

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teasel
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posted March 16, 2010 10:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel        Reply w/Quote
I was thinking of bumping this yesterday. I need the reminder to not rush anything- I used to be able to relax and enjoy letting something naturally unfold, but I'm too restless now. Gypsee made me laugh out loud, because that's me. (Aries)

quote:
LOL

God grant Aries patience
AND HURRY!!!!!!


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la_sexorcisto
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Posts: 131
From: wat
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posted March 25, 2010 11:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for la_sexorcisto        Reply w/Quote
The original post in this thread makes an excellent point. The new relationship I am currently in is one in which we are taking things slow. We are putting off sex because we don't want our relationship based on that (a mistake i've made in the past). We focus on having fun together, going places, talking about anything and everything, and each having our own separate lives, too. So far, so good. It already feels more fulfilling than anything in the past.

------------------
Capricorn sun :: Sagittarius moon :: Scorpio ASC

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oneruledbymars
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From: New York
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posted March 26, 2010 10:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for oneruledbymars        Reply w/Quote
Ahhhh man! Great read Mystic.....wish I could have read it first instead of learning it the hard way! Haha

I bet you do to love!

So true though...again it goed back to trust. Which I'm staring to feel it is a close second to Love in our interactions with people and the Universe Energrtically.

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oneruledbymars
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From: New York
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posted March 26, 2010 11:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for oneruledbymars        Reply w/Quote
Way to go la_sex.....I wanna be like you when I grow up! Haha

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Valus
unregistered
posted March 27, 2010 10:20 PM              Reply w/Quote

This is also good advice for relationships that have been going for a while. Most couples could afford to slow down and experience greater intimacy. In other words, we dont just make solid connections and then "the rest is history". We always have the choice to go deeper, -- and, I suppose, the deepest relationships demand that we do. Love has a way of evaporating the moment we begin to take it for granted.


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My Blog

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Frozen Queen
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From: 11th Dimension
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posted March 02, 2011 05:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Frozen Queen        Reply w/Quote
Profound and deeply resonant with my experiences


Aries Mars here Gypsee and I sure know what you mean. Had to consciously stop myself from obsessing and taking it a day at a time...always worth the wait.

Plus I'm quite icky when it comes to merging my auric fields with that of someone else...yep, roll eyes on cue

------------------
Ask Me anything. Anything. I will contrive to bring you the answer. The whole universe will I use to do this. So be on the lookout. This book is far from My only tool. You may ask a question, then put this book down. But watch. Listen. The words to the next song you hear. The information in the next article you read. The story line of the next movie you watch. The chance utterance of the next person you meet. Or the whisper of the next river, the next ocean, the next breeze that caresses your ear—all these devices are Mine; all these avenues are open to Me. I will speak to you if you will listen. I will come to you if you will invite Me. I will show you then that I have always been there. All ways.

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Mystic Melody
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Posts: 764
From: IL
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posted March 01, 2017 12:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mystic Melody        Reply w/Quote
This is a good reminder.

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