posted June 07, 2012 12:33 PM            

I met this guy when I was 14 (he was 16) in high school. The first time I saw him was in the hall before the first period bell rang. I was talking with some friends and I caught a glance of him in my peripherals. I did a 'double take' and smiled. He didn't see me and I didn't want him to. I didn't see him for the rest of the day. The next day I saw him, I got a better glance and to me, he was absolutely gorgeous! Weird thing was that this time that I saw him, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. This went on for weeks with none of my friends realizing who I was paying attention to. The more I saw him, the more I drowned out everything around him (including noise) so that I could focus on him. He became my morning eye candy ; ) Well, unfortunately my silent treat wasn't enough for some (I blame the universe); and I soon found myself caught staring at my 'eye candy' by my friend. She was apparently saying something "important" and I was busy drowning her out. So she brought me back to earth and started asking me what/who was I staring at? She looked around to see who was around and realized it was my 'guy'. She then asked me if that was who I was looking at and before I really had an opportunity to tell her yes/no she was calling his name to get his attention. I freaked. I honestly had no intent of speaking to him. I was waaaaay to shy at the time and don't do well on rejection. Well, when she called out his name, some weeks back I remembered hearing two girls talking about him and my arch-enemy in the bathroom. I didn't think anything of it, but his name was mentioned quite a bit. Apparently she (my enemy)'dated' him briefly. I asked him if they dated, he confirmed and I proceeded to walk away as I do not do drama. My friend stayed back to talk with him and then she ran up to me to tell me that I was foolish for walking away b/c he wanted to talk to me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be bothered as I was fine with him just being my eye candy. Well, since that was no longer an option I decided (after a week of contemplation) to talk to him.

I gave him my number on a Friday and didn't think he would call. He called almost an hour after I got home. We talked for ATLEAST 7 hours. It was so natural to talk with him...I felt at home. From that point on we talked everyday. Spent 1st period skipping just to be with each other and I wrote him letters almost everyday. We called each other baby, but we weren't a couple and we had (and still have) the most AMAZING sexual chemistry! (though we STILL haven't slept together) THEN we had a really bad fallout closer to the end of freshmen year (based on he said/she said) and stopped all communication. But by this time I was seeing him more frequently during the day. Even sharing a desk (during different periods), which smelled of his cologne and we didn't know it for a while. For a while, I thought I was going crazy smelling his cologne...I was so relieved when we came in the classroom!!! lol! Funny thing is when we fell out, I could sense his presence even when he wasn't there. I could tell when we just left an area or was about to enter an area. All of this was TORTURE to me. At one point, right before the school year ended, I caved (I missed the HELL out of him) and called. We talked it over and moved on...He was from up north and he talked about missing "home" all the time, so when the school year ended he decided to go up for the summer. I asked him was he coming back and he told me 'probably'. I asked him could we try a relationship and he said yes. Well, we talked two days before school started back, he then informed me that he was only coming back to get the rest of his things. I cried like there was no tomorrow. It hurt.

Sopohmore and Junior year I was absolutely miserable...We spoke during the summer and on some holidays; mostly fighting from confusion of where we stood. The summer before Senior year started, I called and he picked up and the only thing he could say was how much he missed me and wanted to see me. We went on our first date that weekend...things felt so different. By the end of the date, we talked about where we stood and decided to give dating a shot. I was finally with the guy loved. Well, funny thing is when we made it "official", THAT'S when he didn't make time for me. The relationship ended after only 4 months! He ended the relationship saying he was not ready for something serious and asked that we stay friends. He didn't date anyone serious for 2 years after me. After we broke up, my heart was in a million pieces. But something in me told me that it wasn't our time.

THEN I met my ex-husband in school right after my break up from 'guy'. I thought I was ready to move on, so I did (boy was I wrong). Me and guy became best friends through the years. He knew when I lost my virginity to my (now) ex-husband (when I was 17), suffered a loss of a child and the birth of my first born. I told him of my ex's cheating ways and 'guy' even told me to marry him b/c he was in the military and he felt he could do more for me and my oldest; telling me he would be the father that my oldest was needing. I never gave an answer, I just didn't know what to say. He got married to the woman he dated 2 years after me (after only knowing her for 5 months!) and she became pregnant (she also had a son from a previous relationship). We stopped communication (randomly) after the new year (3 years ago). I figured we were done. So I married my now ex husband and had another child. I missed him like crazy. My ex husband knew that my heart was still with 'guy' we both ignored the 'obvious' and tried to live our lives. The connection between me and 'guy' only got stronger. I could feel him, know his thoughts; it was like I was there with him. I remember him thinking about me so hard...missing me. It hurt so much, all I could do was cry. I didn't bother him even though I 'felt' that things weren't right at home with him and the wife.((sidenote: I had a premonition about him before he even signed the papers to go into the military that his first year there he would meet a woman, get married and have a daughter. What I didn't tell him was that they would get divorced b/c the purpose was for him to have a daughter...that's it)) I didn't want to be a distraction. Something told me that it wasn't time...I couldn't shake him. It was like I never was supposed to.

We got back in contact a little over 2 years ago. I called (as always) he was more than happy to hear from me...I missed him. We talked Christmas day and saw each other two days after. That night we felt so much intensity that it scared both of us. He told me that he was divorced (nasty divorce; she took his daughter and stepson, emptied the account and bounced....he's missed close to 5 years of her life) and I told him I was heading in that direction (due to too much infidelity and unfair treatment). We discussed the possibility of dating and how the sexual chemistry was still a prominent as ever. We talked for 3 hours about life, religion and music. I told him that I loved him. Only speaking of "then" instead of speaking about "now". He told me no one knows him like I do. He asked me why him? I didn't answer (damn fear of the unknown). He started to touch me and I got nervous. I stuttered asking him not to. He told me he couldn't help it. As he touched me, his hands shook as if he was nervous. His presence always felt overpowering and I was sooo afraid to relinquish control, I ended the night. I felt so stupid as that was not what I wanted to do. But I was so afraid of what would happen afterwards. The uncertainty brought death to the night. He hesitantly walked away; and by the time I realized I didn't want him to leave, it was too late. He told me goodnight and headed toward the door. We spoke one more time that year and that was new years eve. He told me he would call me when he got home...I told him he wouldn't. He always referred to me as 'woman'. So he said "Woman, don't start with me." I told him that I know him and he's not going to call. We ended the call annnnnd that was it.

The next time I spoke to him was last summer. We played catch up. I told him I moved out of state. He told me he was writing a book and I told him that I support him in his endeavor. Before we talked, I realized that he was in fact my soul mate and wanted nothing more than to try again. I was met with resistance! He told me he knew his wife wasn't the one, so he's still looking for her. I asked him what if he already did. He told me that was a possibility. He told me that he didn't want to lose me, though he felt like I was everything he wanted in a woman, but didn't think I was the one. ((sidenote: wtf?) I told him I disagreed. He told me he wasn't ready to explore that as an option. In one of our conversations he shared with me one of his childhood fears. Something he doesn't share with anyone. I found that to be touching, yet odd... We had a couple of intense conversations (involving us and his family) and on my birthday, we quarreled. I told him that I love him and thought it was time to say goodbye. He didn't want to do that. He had me feeling as if I was abandoning him (which is something we DON'T do)...That night I cried. In a way, I want out so the pain can stop...but then I know I'll be miserable without him. UGH!

The last conversation we had was during the holidays of last year. The convo was short. He left his location to take a job on the road and I moved back into town. fun...I've never experienced anything like this. I wasn't the "teenage love" type person. I didn't even believe in love as I had poor examples all around me. Speaking of poor examples of love...my marriage has completely ended and what I was hoping on good terms has turned for the worse. My ex husband has decided to be a deadbeat and is now questioning paternity. ((yay me)) I don't know if this is life coming full circle or what...but it sure feels like it...I want to believe its over, but I feel something different within me.

**ps** I've had a relationship profile done through astro.com. As well as our psychological profiles. All points to possible soulmates to me, but of course its possible that my opinion is biased. ; )
**If you want charts please let me know...

posted June 07, 2012 03:46 PM            

Is he available? Are you available? Maybe you can both explore what was unfinished between you.

posted June 07, 2012 06:50 PM            

Now all these years later he STILL isn't ready or sure about you - and has made this clear by saying point blank that he doesn't think you are the one, and does not want to even explore that. And yet he's being selfish because he says he doesn't want to "lose you" either.

Please don't settle for this. Astrological compatibility or not I don't think this is the kind of relationship you want, right?

I know how it feels to have that special connection (believe me I KNOW) but when a man tells you something like that you've got to listen and not put your life on hold for him. It sounds like you're thinking about him because your marriage is ending and probably also the Venus Rx which is screwing with all of us right now.

Maybe you and him will find a way back to one another in the future... but for now I think chasing him is only going to bring you more misery. If it's meant to be he needs to feel the pain of losing you and realize you're what's missing in his life.

But you can't make that decision - he has to do it. You need to move on to other men and other experiences because focusing on a guy who has told you he doesn't want to be with you is only going to bring you more pain. It will also block you from being open to something even better that could be around the corner.

posted June 07, 2012 10:37 PM            

quote:

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that's had 12 years to make up his mind and still isn't sure.

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posted June 08, 2012 02:32 PM            

If its meant to be, it will be.

posted June 11, 2012 06:37 PM            

*I'm pretty comfortable with Saturn energy...him, mmmmm not so much! lol...

posted June 11, 2012 07:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Yin:
I have a "perfect love" example like that in my life. We talk on and off and after about 15 years now, I am finally convinced we are soul mates who were never supposed to end up together. And that's OK. I know I can grow old, heart connected to his heart though all the time and space that separates us and we will still be that special someone to each other. It's beyond chemistry and friendship. It's "soulship" and I'm happy I got a chance to meet that person at all.

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posted June 24, 2012 04:58 AM            

But when I read your story I can't help but feel sorry for you and me...

Your husband is a scumbag. That definitely was not meant to be. He didn't even care, but do you think that he might have thought you were emotionally mentally the other guy's girl? Maybe he thought you were emotionally cheating on him so then...I guess he stopped caring?

I mean at one point your husband fell in love with you and saw only you.

People act in strange ways when hurt.
I might end up hating you for all you did if I were him...That's why he's lashing out about the paternity? Or maybe he genuinely is hurt so he's questioning now whether they were his.

I'm not saying what he did is acceptable or that you should go back to that. I'm only adding another perspective.

As for the first guy, yeah I know exactly how you feel. Honestly though, I feel scared and reluctant too. I don't want ot get hurt again, because with my guy....I know it will tear me apart.

Maybe you want him but are afraid to get too close to him for that reason.

Also I agree with carlie and birdy. You have been chasing him a lot. I say tell him straight, but tell him once. Tell him thoroughly what you feel and let him make his God given choice to be with you. If he needs time then don't expect that he'll walk into your life again. Expect that he won't.

Look to me it seem the more you keep in contact the more he uses you and wastes time figuring out that you are the one. If you want him to figure it out sooner then STOP talking to him asap.

He needs to make his life choices. It doesn't matter what the charts say or don't say. We have no concrete info do we? What if he's ex is someone he's meant to be with but he's only telling you that she isn't the one? What if it's some other girl?

Love is not blind. No, it sees everything but chooses to love the "flaws".

Let him choose you, if that is how it's meant to be.

Regardless of his choice, you need to choose your kids and your life over him.

You need to prioritize your life again. I lost track like you. I was in a confused haze like you. I couldn't let go. I kept thinking of possible scenarios. How it should be? How he would apologize. How he would relize and appreciate me. Eventually you have to be a fully functioning adult and realize that it's not quenching your thirst. You need to find the right source for water now. But for that you need to take your sights off of him and venture out alone. There is no if or maybe. You just have to do it.

posted June 24, 2012 05:00 AM            

If he really loved you the way you think, would he put your life on hold? Would he deny the one girl he has in life? No...

posted June 24, 2012 11:35 AM            

My ex husband was, I believe, my Karmic Soulmate. Boy, did he teach me a thing or two! We were really TWO different people...but "something" kept us going to play it out til the end. When my marriage ended, we both knew that was it. There is no hope for reconciliation...no getting back together after "x" number of years...we are DONE. I'll always have love for him, but I just don't like him.

posted June 24, 2012 04:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by jaiellelove:
Thx Dreaming for your input. I have stopped trying to keep my presence fresh...lol...Its the scorpio in me.

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posted June 24, 2012 07:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dreaming111:
What do you mean scorpio?

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Leo Sun in the 8th...hell two stelliums actually. One in Leo in the 8th, One in Scorpio in 11th. Power Struggles/Control is my middle name. In order for me to let go control, I must trust the process....

posted June 25, 2012 11:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:

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posted July 26, 2012 02:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
Sometimes I think Saturn makes us stop so we will take it slow and really get to know each other. Some people may say to ignore him and don't put your life on hold but I say only do that after you have taken EVERY opportunity to get to know him at whatever level you are offered. You don't have to be having sex to make it a "real" relationship. It IS a relationship regardless. It is also a close one, though not always geographically close. You need to explore it to the heights and depths that you are allowed to break this hold. "The only cure for love is more love." I think Mother Theresa or some other wise person said that. Just love him like crazy until he runs and hides or until you understand he is not the one for you. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!!!!!!!????!!!!!!!! It's now or never.

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posted August 03, 2012 04:48 PM            

The Runner and the Chaser are the roles that twinflames take after the previous part of this phase of the relationship .

The Arguments and Fights cause a lot of confusion between twinflames as they are usually not spiritually enlightened and don’t consciously know what is happening.
These arguments, in reality, have a deep meaning and benefit both partners… As explained “”

But now the conscious mind doesn’t understand all this… and so, The running and the chasing begins…

One of the Twinflames, usually the man, becomes ‘The Runner’.

The Runner tries to escape all the confusion by running away from the twinflame relationship…
He does that because he feels that he ” just can’t take it “.
If you ask the runner, he won’t have any specific reason for running. He just doesnt know whats happening, feels like he’s losing control of himself and just feels kind of irritated for no reason. He hasn’t been through anything similar ever before and doesnt know what to do.
So, as a sort of a natural defence mechanism, the mind tells him to run. And so he does.
He tries to avoid the twinflame, and might sunndenly end the relationship in a very abrupt manner.

The other twinflame, usually the woman, now takes the rôle of ‘The Chaser’
She gets deeply hurt and shocked by the unexpected behaviour of the Runner, and tries to ‘get him back’
The Chaser is driven by the inner knowing that everything will be all right at some point.
She tries to get the runner to resolve the issues and does all that she possibly can.
The Chaser also gets very confused and might act in a way that seems almost ‘crazy’…
She fears losing him ( because she already has in many previous lives ), is deeply hurt already, and she’s also feeling the twinflame love which is as deep as love can get, really…
This creates an emotional chaos which gets very overwhelming for the Chaser.
She also has no idea what is happening and all she wants is to get the runner back. So she starts chasing him…

This chasing only makes the runner run more…
The Chaser then comes to an extremely painful point where she shatters completely and has no idea where to go.
That’s when the Spiritual truth begins to unfold..

The Chaser starts looking for information about what has happened because she knows its not something that can be considered ‘normal’.
And that ultimately leads to enlightenment.

The comes the waiting period for the Chaser. Thats when the Runner is still running and the Chaser has realized the reality of this Sacred relationship.
The Chaser has to wait for the runner to come back.
That, considering the emotional state of the Chaser at this point and the depth of Love that she feels, Is very hard to do.
The Chaser might try to make the runner realize whats happening now, or might just wait for him to realize it on his own (that’s if they are completely out of touch or if the runner is not willing to talk or listen)

The runner keeps running and tries to move on in life (which can, sadly, go on for years)… but ultimately realizes that the twinflame IS his life
The runners enlightenment happens when he receives a ‘soul-shock’ when the Chaser finally gives up and, in a way, walks out of his life.
[ OR it can happen naturally over time ]

posted January 24, 2013 01:55 PM            

I am content in the knowledge that he is a soul friend and grateful that he came into my life and gave me all he did give. If you would have asked me back then, I would have said (and DID say) that I didn't know how I would ever stop feeling such strong feelings for him. He and this other person are still together and they just might be meant for one another. I am very glad I behaved myself and remained kind and loving throughout. I can now look back and count the benefits of our association and I barely remember the pain.