Posts: 14
From: chennai, tamilnadu, india
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 15, 2013 03:04 PM            

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I want to hear from someone who had a cancer guy go awol n then come back of his own will n made the relationship work out. I want to hear about any successes n how it happened.

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Posts: 44
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Registered: Jun 2013

posted August 15, 2013 06:06 PM            

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I have been in a relationship with a Cancer sun, Aries moon, Gemini Venus man for 14 years. We have broken up numerous times, only to have him crawling back each time. We are broken up once again, but still living together until our house is officially sold. I will not accept him back into my life in a romantic sense ever again. I'm so tired of the emotional roller coaster ride, and I've had it. Each time we would get back together, I would feel like we could make it through anything, that we were stronger than ever. Then, he always decides that he is not happy, and finding happiness usually involves cutting me out of his life, only to realize later that he was wrong and he wants to be with me. If the past is any indication of what to expect in the future, it will probably take him a few months to change his mind. This time, I will not give in. We are in the process of dismantling our lives that we built together, and this truly is the last straw. His moods are constantly changing, and he is always falling in and out of love with me. I really feel that he has always been subconsciously testing our relationship, and seeing how many hoops I will jump through to prove I love him. So if I put up with a lot of crap to be with him, it means I really love him....in his mind. I know his moon and Venus placements contribute to his ever changing emotional whims, but this does seem to be a common theme with Cancer sun men. A word of advice that I would offer, is that unless the issues that caused the breakup in the first place are totally resolved, do not go back to the relationship. In my case, the same issues were always present, and the breakups were only a way of avoiding dealing with the problems. Once back together, the same issues resurfaced over and over again. I think I finally learned my lesson!

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Posts: 96
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Registered: Feb 2013

posted August 19, 2013 01:49 AM            

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I've been involved with a Cancer guy for over 3 years now and he disappears very often for about 3 weeks to 3 months depending on how I handle his disappearances. We dated for about 3 months before I ended up calling it quits because of his work schedule and how it left no time for our relationship. After that, he disappeared and ignored me for literally 8 months before I could even get him to acknowledge my existence. After a few months of light conversation, he finally told me he was hurt and he apologizes about everything and we could have worked everything out. Anyway, a little while after our conversation, he moved back to his home state because of family issues so he became even more distant. Every once in awhile he'll call me out of the blue and want to talk and discuss our possible relationship when he moves back to where I live then, randomly, he'll disappear without warning and the pattern repeats itself. One time, after about 2 months of silence, he messages me on Facebook admitting that he loved me and he has never loved any other female. After that confession, things were great, but of course, he disappeared again until I sent him a text telling him I was coming to visit. Once I got up there and to my hotel, he would contact me frequently and even planned a date for us. He called me during his breaks at work and when we were together it felt like we were never apart. At first, I took this Cancer behavior as him just playing mind games, but as the years go on, I realize that this is just a way for him to feel secure. He's afraid to open up so disappearing is the only way he'll stay in control.

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Posts: 14
From: chennai, tamilnadu, india
Registered: Jul 2013

posted September 04, 2013 05:26 AM            

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Thank you bluejay n yanmorg.
It was helpful hearing from you.

I have a cancer guy who is pretty much self involved. After trying entirely futile efforts to break it off with him i find it still quite puzzling. He always seems like he wants the relationship to work but doesnt say much bout it or his feelings. Just a coupla weeks back when i met him to try n talk n walk thru an amicable break up he cried, he does everytime i try breaking up n melts my heart, n saidu do know that i always love u right? That was neverin question right? I said ofcos that came into question, u dont avoid a person u love n constantly distance urself n look reluctant bout showing gestures of love which u were quite comfortable with showing in the beginning. He said i overwhelmed him with my volatile emotions n made mountains out of molehills. I told him he knew i was always excitable, n happy times n sad, n i am extremely expressive. He knows i have the need to be understood in everyway so i always say stuff in detail with examples even. That was one of the things he was attracted to at first. N the min something got tough for him he started building wall upon wall between us. His constant changing confused n hurt me. I am a very understanding person n believe in giving ample space, but i have to know wat to do. I cant read minds. I have to b told. If not it leavesme in uneven n evershifting shaky ground that scares me. I like solidity n having the confidence that this too shall pass n in the end it will work out because we will keep working on love n the relationship. I set the end goal n then work my arse off making it happen. Thats a commitment. He on the other hand has a vague idea of wat he wants, will work on it sometimes n run away when it gets too much and likes to see where it goes before deciding the final goal. So we r basically diff in our approach even if in the end our goal may b the same. I will work on it with my heart n soul n inner strength only if its a surity n we r committed, cos we have already established we r wonderful n get along more than anyone we have known in our lives n love each other. So how can he do the cat on the wall with our relationship n wait to see where it goes before deciding. Infact he is the one that wanted marriage n babies in the beginning n convinced me n made me commit. How is it fair to step back n be unsure of marriage, n still say my love for was never in question right? Isnt that breaking my trust? N he may not have intended to hurt me, but that is wat he did. Being in a relationship means having ups n downs that u work with. N we cud both learn from each other, he can learn to b more expressive n i can learn to be a little less excitable. It can work. But he doesnt want to commit. When i met him last n he cried i had already made up my mind on an amicable break, we r both not bad people afterall n we did share beautiful things. N i went for a holiday after for ten days. He said i shudnt think of him during that time n just enjoy myself n we can again give september a try when i get back. I think i agreed. But i have a prob trusting him.

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Posts: 1440
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posted September 05, 2013 11:41 AM            

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Do you want to be with him? Like, do you think that you have the patience to walk him through this relationship? I go through a bit of this with my bf, where he is non-communicative and I need to be told what's up so I can work towards end result.

If you clearly state what you need and he consistently refuses to give you this, is this a complete deal breaker for you?

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posted September 05, 2013 11:43 AM            

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Do you want to be with him? Like, do you think that you have the patience to walk him through this relationship? I go through a bit of this with my bf, where he is non-communicative and I need to be told what's up so I can work towards end result.

If you clearly state what you need and he consistently refuses to give you this, is this a complete deal breaker for you?

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Posts: 14
From: chennai, tamilnadu, india
Registered: Jul 2013

posted September 19, 2013 01:34 PM            

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Well i obviously want a life with him n a committed relationship where we both work on our differences... But if he doesnt communicate im led to make assumptions and they r usually negative because i dont have a concrete answer bout where its heading. And if he consistently doesnt give me an answer i can atleast consider working with i think it must b a deal breaker, right? I mean how long can i hand hold and walk the guy through when he wont say anything?

I met him last evening n we had a lovely time. There wasa lot of little loving gestures and talk n he seems likehe wants a life with me. Though, with all that ive been thru with him a cynical side of me prompts a negative thought - was he all loveydovey cos im just recovering from a major illness, or whether all my talk n asking him to be nice to me prompted it all... I mean, did it all truly come from him? Knowing him i know he does only what he wants, n no amount of asking him anything will make him do it if he doesnt want to... But i can never know...

Anyway, i have given him an end date by which time ive asked him to decide whether he can just let me go. My point is that iiiii am not able to let go n move on cos i love him n want it to work out n keep hoping for that. But he is the one who is unable to decide, so i told him to let me go, break up so that i can cry over it for a few days n move on with life. I dont want to b in a friends mode withhim. Told him that if he cant decide whether he wants to commit to me, he should be able to let me go, sever ties, at least until he does make up his mind. Let him contact me then, n if im free n still want a life with him, i can decide then. Its only fair that i b free until then. N him making the clear break would be easier for me becos right now im just doing the crazy back n forth where i want to break up with the guy who hurt me n my trust and being unable to move away by myself cos im in deep n still carry a probable stupid hope when he shows no signs of committing.

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