posted February 05, 2014 11:35 AM            

I am new to this and would appreciate some insight into a relationship I am currently in. I apologize for the long post.

Last summer I broke up with a Sagittarius man I had been involved with for a number of years. We were very incompatible in so many ways but it took me a long time to bring the relationship to an end. He was fiery and hot tempered, but passionate and very direct.

I had no plan to get involved in another relationship so soon but within weeks I met another man in a most random way. I was shopping in a department store and he came over to speak to me. He asked if I had ever worked in a particular place and I said no, he then said he thought he recognized me. Suddenly he blushed and asked if I was seeing someone and I said that I was just out of a long-term relationship and he said he was too. He asked for my number and unusually for me I gave it to him.

We have been involved since then but in a very vague way. We don't see each other very often, but he contacts me every day. He confides in me and has told me some quite intimate things about himself. We get very close and then quite abruptly he will pull away.

He has had lots of 'casual' relationships in the past but has only had one serious girlfriend, they were friends and then got together. They were together for 6 years but he said for the last two years of their relationship they lived like brother and sister. He had bought a house and she had moved in and had wanted to get married, have children etc and although he wasn't happy for a long time he said it was deeply painful hurting her when he broke up with her. He didn't marry her or have a family, he told me that he had never really loved her in a deep, passionate way they were more like good friends and meeting me has stirred up feelings that he didn't know he had.

I think in reality if he had known me in some other way, through work or friends, he would have got to know me and then eventually asked me out, but he said he saw me and just had to act as he knew he may never see me again.

This has been going on for about five months and I have been very patient, but I just don't know how to proceed. Whether to remain as I am giving him time and space to heal whilst being there for him, if this is his getting to know me time or just accept this push/pull is part of his nature. He is a most enigmatic man and certainly a challenge, but there is something undeniably magnetic between us.

My chart details are:

Sun Pisces
Moon Capricorn
Mercury Aries
Venus Taurus
Mars Taurus
Jupiter Capricorn
Saturn Gemini
Uranus Libra
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Libra
Ascendant Gemini

His are:

posted February 06, 2014 08:15 AM            

I do not have much experience with Virgo Sun men, but his indecision might be due to Libra Mars/Venus. For what is worth, it seems he has genuine feelings for you, however almost everyone has some sort of emotional "baggage" that important relationships seem to stir.

The most important thing is how do YOU feel about him, what do YOU want from him and your relationship?

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This girl is on FIRE

Venus's playground

posted February 06, 2014 08:49 AM            

I am happy with our relationship as it stands, I like him very much and my feelings for him are becoming quite deep, but there is this hesitancy that I sense from him.

He will initiate closeness between us, verbal, emotional, romantic and sexual but then afterwards it seems to either shock or scare him, almost as if he feels he has gone too far and he backs off. I can not decide if it is his nature or his 'baggage'.

Even now he say's he can not believe he had the courage to ask me out in the way he did and it was totally out of character for him.

He is a lovely person; refined, intelligent and very tender but he can be cold.

I think I have awoken something within him and upset his internal equilibrium, if that makes sense?

Just as a heads up we are not teenagers he is 35 and I am 41.

posted February 07, 2014 01:56 PM            

These are the instructions around in LL.

quote:

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HOW TO GET YOUR CHART
1. Go to www.astro.com . You can create a free account or enter your birth data as a guest; however, creating an account will allow you to save your information – great for trying the different charts both for yourself and for others in your life. If you don’t know the exact time of your birth, do your best to find out – it *is* important.
2. Go to “Free Horoscopes” and then to “Extended Chart Selection.”
3. “Natal Chart Wheel” is the default, but you will need to go to “House System” (under “Options” use the drop-down to change to “equal”).
4. Click on “Click here to show the Chart,” then click on the chart which will appear.
5. Right-click and save the chart to your desktop.
HOW TO UPLOAD YOUR CHART
1. Create a free account at www.photobucket.com .
2. Select “Upload Now” which will bring up “Select Photos and Videos.”
3. Navigate to your desktop and select.
4. On right, click “Save and continue to my album.”
5. When you hover the mouse pointer over the chart, you will see that a box appears with a few options. If you need to edit out your name or anything else you don’t feel comfortable sharing on the boards, “edit” is in the top band of options. Select “edit” which opens your chart and provides editing options. Go to the tab “Decorate,” and you will see a number of icons, one of which is an eraser. Erase what you need to, and click “Replace original.”
6. Saving should take you to a new screen where you can see your chart and to the right, a bank of options to “Share this photo.” Click on the IMG code, which will flash and let you know that you’ve copied the link.
7. Go to your thread, open a new post and paste your link.
8. Don’t move or delete your chart from Photobucket, because the link only goes to where the chart was saved!

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posted February 10, 2014 04:22 AM            

R is me and M is him
http://i1312.photobucket.com/albums/t530/5Alfiecat/Charts/d9274388-f47e-4888-9f41-d0fb8b05ad4e_zps4a9f2407.gif?t=1392024016
http://i1312.photobucket.com/albums/t530/5Alfiecat/Charts/astro_2gw_02_m_he3320631440_zps5b75a961.gif

Hopefully this will work....

posted February 10, 2014 08:32 AM            

You also have the possibility to draw composite charts (that is a new chart obtained from combining both your charts). This is what AriesLilith was referring to. There is a drop-down box saying "Please select the type of chart you want" and you need to click "Composite chart, midpoint-method", then post it here using the same technique. Btw you have a lot of chart options available on astro.com, when you wanna explore you can go crazay with it! There is info available on Astro 2.0 about all of them, I strongly recommend using the search function.

posted February 18, 2014 07:06 AM            

On Valentine's morning I had a early text, which was sweet and playful, then flowers were delivered to my office. Later that evening we met for dinner and he had bought me a card, which he asked me to read privately. He had handwritten a love letter inside telling me what meeting me had meant to him. The end of it said 'You are just so very different, you stood out to me when I met you and you still do. I like how you look, plus I just like you full stop. No one else comes close to you.' I thought this simple gesture was overwhelmingly lovely.

We spent the night together which was wonderful as always, he left on Saturday morning and I haven't heard from him since! It's almost like his inner feelings have been exposed so he now feels it necessary to pull away again.

posted February 18, 2014 12:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by alfiecat0108:

We spent the night together which was wonderful as always, he left on Saturday morning and I haven't heard from him since! It's almost like his inner feelings have been exposed so he now feels it necessary to pull away again.

I know he will be in touch when he is ready and I certainly am happy to give him the space he needs, but it is perplexing, is this common?

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Just sounds like regular man behaviour to me. lol. And probably more so if he's a Virgo guy. They pull back so they can get that "tension" again in the relationship which attracts them to you (typical Men are from Mars "rubber band" stuff haha). I wouldn't worry about it. Yes you're wise not to contact him, even though it's always tempting just to say "hi". Give it a few days. Allow him to miss you.

posted February 18, 2014 12:37 PM            

When he disappears which is only ever for a couple of days I just leave him to it. I like space too but not for the same reasons he does.

posted February 18, 2014 08:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by alfiecat0108:

I have been doing some reading around and if seems a common problem with Virgo men.

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I don't really get involved with Virgo men too often (being a Virgo woman myself) but there were two guys who really fit that type. One was a fling and the other just a really good friend (fellow bandmate). They can be affectionate, caring and loving when you're with them, but do like to retreat into their space afterwards. Real caveman stuff lol. The guy I had the fling with really hurt my feelings, he would say things that suggested he really cared/hinted at a future and then - WHAM - suddenly snubbed me so cold in the end it froze my heart.

They can be very hurtful without realizing it or even wanting to be actually.

posted February 19, 2014 03:07 AM            

Mine is definitely on the shy side which I of course find endearing, especially after the Sagittarius I was with previously.

If I am just a fling, I guess that will become evident over time.

posted February 19, 2014 03:46 AM            

Just too much similarity to me as a Virgo woman. I mean, I like to retreat into my cave too. What with him doing the same I can't see us ever meeting up! (unless we were in the Flintstones I suppose!)

posted February 19, 2014 04:56 AM            

It is funny, since I broke up with my ex all of the men who have been interested in me have been earth signs, first a Capricorn, then a Taurus and finally my Virgo.

posted February 19, 2014 12:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by alfiecat0108:

It is funny, since I broke up with my ex all of the men who have been interested in me have been earth signs, first a Capricorn, then a Taurus and finally my Virgo.

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Your personal planets are mostly earth/water (apart from Mercury) which might have a lot to do with that. Especially the moon in Capricorn.

I also notice your Mars/Venus is in Taurus whereas his Mars/Venus is in Libra. Taurus and Libra are both ruled by love. Perhaps your relationship has an particular appreciative quality to it.