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Author Topic:   7 Things Men Really Really Want In A Relationship
elixir
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Posts: 2399
From: United States
Registered: Apr 2012

posted February 24, 2015 10:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for elixir     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nice article I just came across.


Open any beauty magazine and you'll see article upon article about what women want in relationships and how to get that. But there's rarely a space for men to express their relationship needs. Thanks to MindBodyGreen for creating that space. Here are 7 things that men really want in a relationship.

1. To feel like your hero

We don’t want to be your Clark Kent. We want to be your Superman. We want you to see us as leaping tall buildings in a single bound and catching bullets. We want to carry you in our arms and show you the world. Or at least feel that way. And I know it’s our job to get there, but nothing gives us more strength than a woman who creates a space that makes us feel invincible. If you make us feel invincible, we’ll make you feel like you’re the most beautiful creature on this planet.

2. Acceptance

There’s a new T-shirt trending Los Angeles titled “Love Me Anyways.” They should make them for men. Because we NEED to feel that when we stack the dishes in the dishwasher like a five year-old, say the wrong thing in front of your friends, leave the toilet seat up, get too logical, forget something you’ve said a thousand times, that you love us anyways. Because inside every man is a boy who forgets he’s a man sometimes. And every boy gets into things, not because he’s bad but because he’s got a curious mind and a short attention span.

Unconditional support from our woman is what will snap us out of our boyish behavior and inject us with a desire to be a stronger man. Only when you accept us as we are, who we are, will we want to become someone better.

3. Not to be left in the dark

So many women don’t tell their men how they feel because they don’t want to rock the boat. Or they’re afraid. The truth is when you don’t express yourself, you leave us in the dark. We don’t really know the truth of you. You are prepackaging and presenting parts of your life instead of doing your whole life with us.

Couples grow and get stronger overcoming adversity, not by doing life separately. Know that every time you hold things in, you are building walls inside the sacred space of the relationship. No, we don’t want you to verbally vomit on us. But believe it or not, we really do want to know who you truly are.

4. Blinders sex

There’s sex. Then there’s blinders sex, the kind of sex that gives you blinders, keeps your eyes forward and intentions straight when you’re out in the world. Let’s face it. Men are going to look. They’re like squirrels. They get distracted by shiny things. But there’s a difference between noticing and wanting. Blinders sex gets men to say, “Yeah, she may be pretty but I would never trade in what I have for anything else.”

Blinders sex isn’t just good sex. It’s a unique connection with someone that makes you fantasize about them in the shower, call in sick so you can lie in bed all day making love and eating Oreos. It produces glue that cannot happen with anyone else.

5. The C-word

Communication. Without it, relationships are built on sand. We want you to communicate directly. We don’t get clues. We need things spelled out. And we understand that if you have to spell it out, it’s not the same. You don’t just want us to do the dishes. You want us to want to do the dishes. We get it. OK, then tell us. Explain. Model how you would like us to communicate back.

For many of us, communication is not our specialty. We need some guidance. Generally speaking, men tend to pull from a logical place. Women pull from an emotional place. If you can meet us at logic, we will will match your emotions. Hopefully. But we need you to tell us.

6. Sweat

There’s nothing sexier than working out with your intimate partner. Watching you sweat and work on your body only encourages us to work on ours as well. We get to see the raw and real you, a different type of naked. Now, if we do this together, we’re in the act of building something, a lifestyle. We’re not just talking. We’re doing. And that’s hot.

7. To have our own lives

We may not say it, because how do you tell the person you love to get a life? But we really want you to have your own life. Really. We want you to have your own set of friends, activities, and passions. Of course we want to be supportive of everything you care about and be a part of anything you would like us to be a part of, but we want you to have your own identity.

Because if you have nothing that is yours, our relationship is standing on one leg. Also, if you have your own life, it forces us to get our own life as well or risk losing you. Forget legs. Let’s put our relationship on wheels. One is yours. One is mine. And together, we’ll ride.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13107/7-things-men-really-really-want-in-a-relationship.html

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Vajra
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posted February 25, 2015 08:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Vajra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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Dancing Maenad
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posted February 26, 2015 03:53 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with Vajra! Great post, elixir!

------------------
~the raving one dancing in the nude~

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charlie
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posted March 10, 2015 05:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I find men more complicated than women! You give them space and "their own life" and then they get grumpy because you are "unavailable" so then you change and become more "available" at which point you are being too "clingy". I have come to realization that if I always do what I want I will remain happiest and if my SO does the same and we thus try and meet in middle things should be fine. If they turn out not to be fine well, I guess things won't be fine and we need to reconsider certain aspects of relationship or end it.

I will second the idea of great sex though! I have always said that sex is VERY important, not saying it's the glue that will make it last. If there is no passion we might as well be roommates :-/ I don't think this will ever change for me.

What is interesting though, in my/our case, is that I am much more like a man when it comes to this (have mars on asc) whereas my SO is more like a woman (have venus on asc). He needs to be emotionally OK to do it but I.....just want to do it, no matter what. As for communication I am head-on and he, sideways and unclear/vague. He also doesn't like me being to much of a bulldozer ie manly.

Acceptance. He doesn't care whether I accept or not. GO ARIES

Umm oh yeah, he hates sweat so that's that lol

Goes to show that all men are not the same

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Healing Mystic Melody
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From: Illinios
Registered: Jan 2015

posted March 10, 2015 08:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Healing Mystic Melody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree that all men are not the same, just as all women are different. I was considering that as I read also. There are some common needs that are the same or similar for many though. Not ALL women love the movie The Notebook, but many do. I think there are clues in common needs.

I really enjoyed the article, thank you for posting!

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PlutoSurvivor
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Registered: Sep 2011

posted April 22, 2015 01:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSurvivor     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well if that's true, what the article said, then I can delete my list of "7 things that men really want in a relationship": 1 ) Sex 2) Sex 3) Sex 4) Sex 5) Sex 6) Sex 7) Sex

Just kidding, of course. I think the key is that men have to know what they want and be willing to express It. Same goes for women.

But with this article it helps men understand themselves individually. They can read it and ask themselves, "is this what I really want?" If not, what do I really want as an individual? Can I express it? And am I willing to give what it takes to get it?

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Peluches
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From: Les arcs-en-ciel nitescents de la deuxième étoile...
Registered: Jul 2014

posted April 23, 2015 04:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peluches     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^^^

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PlutoSurvivor
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From: USA
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posted April 24, 2015 10:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSurvivor     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ha, I knew somebody would chuckle at that.

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