Posts: 3255
From: Hillsboro, OR, USA
Registered: Jan 2013

posted April 05, 2016 08:12 AM            

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Dear Friend,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I hurt you.

All I ever wanted was to love you, and be loved by you.

I'm sorry I didn't forgive you, when I should have forgiven you.

I was a bad person, I manipulated to my fullest degree. And I knew what I was doing and I ignored it, I played it off like I was crazy, even to myself.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry,

When you looked into my eyes, I knew love. I knew love as I had never known it before. It was the most wonderful thing in the world.
And I became scared, how could I change? I did stupid things that a child would do, and I'm sorry.

I truly am.

I'm sorry, I should have given you time. I'm not patient. And I'm sorry, because I loved you. And I wanted you. But I can't hide and play the victim anymore. You were a victim as well. A victim of my cruel games. And I'm sorry.

When I first looked at you, I could tell you that you had my same power, but it was as if you had mastered it. And I didn't know how you had. I envied it, and I envied how everybody loved you.
Maybe that was the reason, maybe it was envy, envy because I had wanted to live your type of life and had never gotten to, and I didn't think it was fair. And I am so sorry for that. My heart is wrenching for what I did to you. Not for me, but for you. Because I never wanted it to go like this. I feel my heart chakra alight, and mournful as hot tears stream down my cheeks. I have been a monstrous to you. I have been terrible. But damn me if I said I never loved you.
Because I always loved you. I just couldn't love myself.
I couldn't love myself for the things I had done to you. Which I regretted every day, and became instantly defensive.
There was never a time, my heart didn't find you.
And I am so sorry.
I am so sorry I am so sorry.
I want you to go and live the life you want. You deserve it. You really do.
You're a great father you're a wonderful lover, you're an outstanding man. Even though I saw it little to myself, I saw it.
You always had the best intentions.
And I am sorry. I should never have done this. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
I don't expect forgiveness. I don't. But know that I owe you a debt for not forgiving you when I should have.

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Posts: 3255
From: Hillsboro, OR, USA
Registered: Jan 2013

posted April 05, 2016 08:19 AM            

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I hope you learned your life lesson, because I didn't. I'm a child. And you are a God.
You were a God who took me under your wing, in perhaps the best way you knew how. And I am sorry I was not more honored for that, then I was cold for your sins.
My sins far outweigh yours I am sure.
I love you. I still love you. I don't expect you to love me ever.
But if I could do it all again, I would be more patient with you, and focus more on myself. I feel like such a ***** . And I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I wish you all the best in your life.
I'm not going to die, I love you.
I love you. I love you.
And I am so sorry my dear.
I am so sorry I hurt you. In more ways then one.

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Posts: 3255
From: Hillsboro, OR, USA
Registered: Jan 2013

posted April 05, 2016 08:23 AM            

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vHH2pOzuMA

:'(

Go in peace.

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Posts: 3743
From: The Harvest
Registered: Mar 2014

posted April 05, 2016 01:46 PM            

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Posts: 64296
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 06, 2016 01:50 PM            

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Posts: 64296
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 07, 2016 03:25 PM            

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*sniffle*

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Posts: 6404
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted April 17, 2016 05:41 PM            

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Aww. Is this where you are currently on your 'twin flame journey', whitewitch? <3

Also, it takes a long time to grow up -- to really, really grow up. It's not chronological, either. But you will some day. And you'll be able to forgive yourself.

I promise.

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Posts: 3255
From: Hillsboro, OR, USA
Registered: Jan 2013

posted April 19, 2016 04:38 AM            

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Yeah, I guess so. The surrender phase?
Actually I would say more enlightenment phase now, I've been beginning to try and change.

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