Posts: 1359
From: somewhere!
Registered: Nov 2011

posted June 08, 2016 04:09 PM            

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I don't know why I put this here, but I just wanted to ask, how is it possible that I have someone at work who whenever he can, looks deeps into my eyes, and doesn't look away, I'm the one that feels the energy, then look to see where that energy is coming from, and realise it's the same guy just staring into my eyes. It makes me feel something wierd.
A well respected man at work,hard worker and a good friend to all.... He is also married and he has a 4 month old baby boy.

I've now made sure We don't interact. It makes me sad, why ever look at anyone else when the person does have everything a person can wish for ... I dunno ...

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Posts: 676
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2014

posted June 11, 2016 01:30 AM            

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It's possible that he feels an attraction to you. You're wise in not encouraging him.

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Posts: 3885
From: The Harvest
Registered: Mar 2014

posted June 12, 2016 12:14 AM            

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That look is generally due to the fact that we recognise ourselves in others, and viceversa. We usually interpret it as sexual attraction, but it is not always the case.

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Posts: 1359
From: somewhere!
Registered: Nov 2011

posted June 12, 2016 06:07 AM            

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Dancing Maenad that could be true, but does that mean he thinks I'm the kind of woman that would ever persue anything with a married man????

But it's interesting what you said about recognising ourselves in others, is that how attraction begins? I find it interesting because I don't think I have ever felt an instant attraction towards anyone... you made me think now!

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Posts: 3885
From: The Harvest
Registered: Mar 2014

posted June 12, 2016 01:12 PM            

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Well, that's just it, maybe it's not at all sexual for him. When I said attraction, I didn't mean the sexual type. You can be drawn to people for various reasons - I don't know how much you know about the essene mirrors, that was my first thought when I read your post. There is probably something about you that he recognizes and it's usually unsettling if it's something unconscious.

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Posts: 1359
From: somewhere!
Registered: Nov 2011

posted June 12, 2016 02:57 PM            

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I'm going to research on this now! Thank you Dancing maenad!

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Posts: 6465
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted June 14, 2016 06:01 AM            

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Our society over-sexualises things. It could be like what DM said; a soul connexion.

Once we stop seeking sexual validation, we find ourselves free to see the pure love in soul connexions around us, despite sexual orientation, availability, and anything else.

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Posts: 1359
From: somewhere!
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posted June 14, 2016 09:13 AM            

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Thank you both, it could very well be some sort of soul connection, but I see as his marriage the most important relationship, and since I don't really sense it's a deep connection... More of a shallow kind... I want nothing to do with that....

But on another note, how can you tell if it's a soul connection? And it's not just something of a deep sexual type?

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Posts: 3885
From: The Harvest
Registered: Mar 2014

posted June 14, 2016 10:12 AM            

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well, married people can have soul connections with other people outside of their marriage. Our life partner is a person with whom we can learn a great deal throughout a great length of time - true - but they are not our only teachers.

What I had in mind when I mentioned the essene mirrors was something Gregg Braden said about the third mirror. He, at some point, met a young woman that he was instantly drawn to and confused that with either attraction or even love, but after some significant meditation on the topic, he realised he was drawn to something in her that he thought he lost (her innocence), so the pull towards her was quite strong, but it had nothing to do with love. Sometimes this sort of encounters can be mirrors for us in such a sense, but it is hard to distinguish at first, especially because, like Auby said, we're so used to sexualize things.

I don't know what this man is thinking or why he looks at you that way, I just offered a possibility. I think it's important to not jump to conclusions, maybe the thought of him cheating on his wife never crossed his mind. Maybe it did, only he knows, and maybe at some point, if you want to know, you will too.

Just keep an open mind. No sense in closing yourself from a connection which might prove meaningful to you or to both of you, not unless you have strong reasons to do so. You don't, yet. What you have, at this point, from where I am standing, is some sort of fear - of what, I do not know, but maybe you'd like to find out and confront it.

I hope I didn't cross a line with what I said, it was not my intention. I am not sure how deeply I can go with you, we haven't interacted much around here.

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Posts: 1359
From: somewhere!
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posted June 14, 2016 10:16 AM            

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DM the stuff you have written is fascinating.
Maybe it is fear, I feel like it's wrong, most of the time I go with my intuition, and if it doesn't feel right I push away, but I can't distinguish my feelings from wrong,
Or fear, or even rejection.

You haven't crossed the line DM, I have read many things which you have written about here and I believe I can speak for most.. You are very well respected.

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Posts: 3885
From: The Harvest
Registered: Mar 2014

posted June 16, 2016 06:49 AM            

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Thank you, that is reassuring! I said it could be fear because it seems like it has triggered a powerful reaction in you and also because it seems it's causing you some degree of discomfort. From what I noticed in my case, when I follow my gut I'm usually at peace with my decision because it feels right. There might be some inner conflict before that, especially if there's something I want badly even though it's not right for me and deep down I know it, but once I make my decision I'm okay with it.

I was in a similar situation and I too decided to avoid the person completely, because I realized I'd get to a point where I'd want something he couldn't deliver. I may have lost a good friend, but I'll never know because I made the choice for both of us.

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Posts: 1359
From: somewhere!
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posted June 16, 2016 08:17 AM            

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I feel my biggest problem is sticking to my decision, I think it's because I don't trust myself to make the right one. Take this situation for example, I feel like it's wrong, so I ensure that we do not interact, but then I start to doubt my decison, did I do the right thing? Was I overthinking? Did I miss out on a chance to make a really good friend? However if he decided he no longer wanted to interact with me, that would have been easier to accept because it's wasn't my decision it was his, and therefore the control is not with me but him,

I have a hard time trusting myself to make the right decision out of fear that I might have lost out on a great opportunity, people who have met their soul companions, soul friends, I mean they are not easy to find, I just don't want to miss that opportunity or have that regret.

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Posts: 3885
From: The Harvest
Registered: Mar 2014

posted June 19, 2016 12:24 PM            

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I understand that very well, because that was me for pretty much all my life until now. What I've come to realise, though, is that what needs to happen, will happen. Not that I'm taking a fatalistic, passive way out, but I believe these soul connections are established before we were born, so the people who need to be in your life, will be. I think our attitude is also equally important here, because they can't come unless we're in a state of openness and allowing for that to happen. You can find a soul connection in a friend or coworker without anything romantic going on. We tend to devalue those connections because we want an earth-shattering love encounter (I used to want that, too), but at a soul level, all that matters is that you expand your consciousness and beyond that there is no right or wrong.

It is my impression that you were trying to run away from the connection to this guy, or trying to avoid something about it that was making you uncomfortable. He may or may not be someone important in your life, right now it shouldn't matter - I would focus more on my feelings and why this person is making me feel so uneasy, what do they arouse in me that I am trying to avoid? This person can be a catalyst for self reflection, after all that is what soulmates do for one another, no?

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Posts: 3885
From: The Harvest
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posted June 19, 2016 12:31 PM            

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edit

I wanted to share a video that might help but it seemed like the ones I had in mind didn't fit your situation well. Today I came across this one, it's about indecision/trusting yourself and your intuition, so here it is .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v96_-RSzqHM

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Posts: 1359
From: somewhere!
Registered: Nov 2011

posted June 20, 2016 06:48 AM            

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Hi DM, thank you so much for the advice, I have learnt to trust myself over the years, I also think following my passion and doing that regularly has really helped me with my confidence, and being self assured. I used to be a very reactive person, always behaving with people with the way they behaved with me, but I am now hoping that I just come across kind, regardless of how I get treated back.

With terms of this man, well he has also stayed well away, I almost get the sense that he is no longer bothered, almost as if I am now a 'nothing'.... I can tell this from his stance towards me and how he no longer is looking my way at all, and also last week we all had lunch together with other colleagues and I was behaving my normal self, so I wasn't feeling uncomfortable around him, and I was my usual loud bouncy self, I believe he saw that and realised I'm not a passive, shy, individual.. More importantly I want to be in control of how I feel and not be swayed by people who think they may get something because they constantly stare at me...
So after that lunch, no staring, no nothing, which makes me think, maybe he really did have the wrong idea about me.

Even so, I realised now why I held back, it's not about how he felt, it's about how I know how easily I can fall for someone, and that would be so wrong of me to put myself in a position where I fall for someone who is clearly not available. So to stop that I moved completely away to ever get myself into that scenario.

That you so much for the video, I am very keen to watch This when I get back home tonight!

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Posts: 66263
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 21, 2016 09:58 AM            

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Thanks, DM.

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