posted August 17, 2016 12:22 AM            

I hv had only one rship with a scorpio before and its still intense after 6 years, though i never went to him coz he never committed and when i got committed to someone,he proposed. Since then , we are just friends wid a strong understanding.

I am a leo sun sag asc .

I met a guy - scorp sun sag asc . He was a widower and looking for a 'wife' . He had a baby girl 4 years old . I felt a strong pull for both of them though everyone warned me dat the baby is involved.

He would always text and call me and be patient and willing . I fell for him too fast and he said he was falling for me too . I loved his daughter . Then we met and introduced each other to our families . He held my hand , and looked all fine.

At night , we had a passionate conversation and he talked about all his fantasies and stuff . I felt we were very close.

The morning - he says he wants to catch up and continue but needs time n dat his mum also advised him so. It got me mad especially coz he rarely remembered things he said at night.

We had an argument and i told him to stay away and dat i wont meet him.
He claims he called back but my phone was off.

Anyways,i called up in evening and told him its fine with me to take time n meet up. He kept arguing now he cant. To apologise,i told him i ll come see him n then only he mentions dat actually he is going for his wife's prayers and wont b available.

Drives me mad again! Couldnt he tell the truth n avoid the drama at the v first moment i asked ?

Thereafter, he claimed he needs space. Sent me gudmornings n nights.
Next day, i call him up and we talk and i ask him to define the space thing as i had never texted him first throughout .

He says - we need to stop talking and be busy with our stuff and probably we ll be dating others.

Next day he claims he just needed space and didnt mean the dating thing ( when i said m moving on)

Next day i tell him m not talkng to nyone else n he can hv his space. He says - we r not together and i need my space.

What is this? I dont understand what happened overnight when he was so happy that he wont find a better wife n mother for both of them. Could her mother have disliked me( she s scorpion as well) ?

N wts this space issue when i never contacted him first ?

posted August 17, 2016 03:01 PM            

D.R.A.M.A. is what this sounds like. There's a slang phrase I could use here, but I'll just say he is playing head games with you. This is par for the course though with scorps, so get used to it if you want to keep in touch with him. I'm not sure how seriously interested he is in you as he could be just being careful since he's a widower with a small child.

I believe you are on the right course to say that you will give him space, but I wouldn't tell him what I was doing while giving him "space". He will inquire because he's nosey and that's a scorp thing too, but keep your personal dating life "close to the vest" as they say. Your dating life is off limits to him since you two aren't dating, and you want him as more than a "friend" to have coffee-let's-catch-up-chats with (I assume).

This lack of 411 from you will drive him bananas because he will want to know -- whether he's serious about you or not.

So, although it will "appear" that you are giving him space (appearing to him like you are waiting on him to make his next move towards you), you are actually getting on with your life and it's none of his business how you are doing that or with whom.

Keep us posted. I'm not sure how you will proceed, but this is how I would handle it.

posted August 18, 2016 03:47 PM            

i tried to contact a couple of times , he didn't reply to the texts , but he took the calls , and talked as if he didn't want to . i tried to talk about the random stuff like when is he going to catch his flight etc, and he replied . Then asked him what's the issue exactly and he said - cant we have our space? i told u we shouldnt talk for a few days .
then he sent me his daughter's pics in the dress i had gifted to him . and said thanks and dat the dress is beautiful . i told him he dsnt hav to thank me , and dat , now dt it's been 4 days , is the space thing over ?
he again goes like > let destiny decide if there had to be something otherwise let's have our space and i dont know how many days i want to be away .

am like dude , now dats enough and i pray u realize how u blew it out of proportion for reasons unknown to me . so goodluck and tc.

and then , i have deleted his pictures , his number , and planning to be brave enough to delete all his texts as well . though i miss his daughter more than i miss him - but i dont know if he's talking to someone else , or playing just a mind game , or some third party interference , or he really isnt out of his past yet (Ah! why did he hav to start dt fling thing with me then !!! not fair !)...

i wish i could make him realize , but i know nothing bothers scorpios , and no doubt , he is hot too - would find a girl soon .

but i want to be done with him till he apologises- which i dont think he ll ever do !

posted August 21, 2016 03:58 PM            

You still haven't done anything wrong. You were honest with how you felt about him. I believe he respects that. One thing I have found in my experience with them, they are not afraid of emotionalism and they appreciate genuine feelings, no matter what those feelings are.

I would just give it time. If it helps you to move on by deleting and getting rid of all physical memory of him, then do it. Even it means abandoning this thread (but not LL) while you heal. You have nothing to regret as far as how you wanted to have something meaningful with him, really. I know it hurts but you had the courage to make an offering. Whether or not it got accepted doesn't devalue the offering -- it sets you free.

From what you've posted, it doesn't sound like he's playing games deliberately, he may just need time to think. He married a woman who died. She died, sweetie. That's a lot different than divorcing someone. Maybe he needs to make his peace with the closure (of death). I don't know if his wife was sick or taken suddenly. How do you know that maybe he's feeling if he gets involved with someone that she may die and leave him. This is new to him. With a small daughter, I'm thinking he's maybe 30s? That's young to lose your spouse. Yes, till death do us part, but most think death is a long way off. Death of a spouse is like no other death. It's traumatic and needs to be dealt with and understood. PTSD isn't just for people at war.

I feel for you, and I know you feel for him. But please, with-everything-in-you, let him have his time. Resist the urge to occasionally "let him know you are still around". I believe he has a good idea of how you feel about him. If after a few months, yes, months dear (although maybe it won't be that long), if you haven't heard from him by the holidays, you could send him a card or drop him a line.

I remember a scorp I was liking years ago. I really didn't think he was interested even though we had so much in common and would spend hours on the phone initially. He lived about 500 miles from me. Months would go by and I wouldn't hear from him. I just went on with my life. Then out of nowhere, he would call and we talk and it would be great. I had no idea that during those months he was thinking about me and deciding what he was going to do about me (meaning enter into a relationship). After maybe a year or so had gone by of these sporadic calls, he confessed that he was in love with me. Out of nowhere this came. I was very surprised! But, alas, he had waited too long and I was involved with someone else. I may post this story. But back to you...

Get on with your life, and I don't mean that like act like this never happened and go skipping off into the daylight... No. You are hurt and maybe confused, but even in the confusion, you were brave enough to put yourself out there. Don't undermine that by being clingy and insecure wondering that because he's so "hot" he probably has another girl and now its a competition between you and someone else (even the Mom!).

Take a deep breath, take a long, luxurious bath and look forward to life bringing you more sunshine because you dared to love someone. I'm just a hopeless romantic. But love is powerful and it begats after its own kind. Everything will be alright.

posted August 21, 2016 11:48 PM            

Well..sadly he wasnt dt genuine...the moment he left his home ...he told me took the flight n msgd me whn he reached there dat he had landed.

We had a conversation dat v evening n he said we can try but not to put a time limit to it. ( i wonder why he didnt talk at home!) ... he promised me a call for nxt day n said ws sleeping.. but then he ws onln n saiid he ws onln cz he ws readng my msgs n later dat he ws talkng to his parents over phone call (he rarely used to talk for 5 mmins max) .

Next day...dats yesterday , i askd him where ws his gudmorning n he kept sayng he wasnt annoyd n thought i had called it off (!!!!).... he kept msgng n responding thruout day as if he cant c it working cz he thinks 'i dnt want to pursue it' ( why do people make excuses!!) ... then he promised a call...got home n said it wsnt a ryt time to call so ll call tomorrow ( was too late at nyt) . I dnt knw why i calld aftr a while n found his phone busy for more than an hour n half at 1 at night. Thereafter, i sent him msgs dt he has lied to me n he didnt read them n kept declining my calls.

He was cheating ... it hurt me dt jst like u i ws thinkng he is grieving her death or was jst not ready yet. N i think this new thing must hv started last week...nobdy makes a casual first phone call fr more than an hour at dat hour of nyt. Why did he nt tell me .kept doing the space drama.

So yeah..mystery solved.
U r ryt...ll del this thread bt m shockd dt he didnt evn say sorry. I was so stupid to think he is widower n different frm others.

posted August 22, 2016 12:18 PM            

BUT-- I am sorry to hear he wasn't true. I'll tell you another story. A few years ago, I was briefly getting to know a man (a scorp, online) who was a recent widower. Well, they (widowers) can be very attractive to women because you know he lost his wife of (n+) years and believe he was faithful to her. But as I found out, some of these men realize that now they are single again and they want to make up for "lost" time. That sounds bad because how could lost time be when he was married, but alas, that is sometimes what it is. So these men post when they lost their wife, sometimes to what illness and how great and wonderful their marriage was and they are looking for something meaningful. That is not always true, esp. online dating. Mainly because most of those men are likely being pursued by the single women his wife was acquainted/friends with! I emailed him a few times, but he didn't always make timely replies even though I could see he was online. I was getting weary with the site anyway, so I just didn't renew my subscription. Two years later, I logged back in, and lo and behold, homeboy was still active. He hadn't even updated his profile, so it looked like his wife had recently passed when it was at least a year or two prior! Smh.

But back to you... the girl he was with could just be a booty-call because as they say the "only thing open after midnight is legs". And if he didn't want to get serious with you, who's to say he's serious with her? So I wouldn't even worry about it.

I love that you just go after what you want and tell it like it is. What you found out will help you on how to deal or not deal with him. I'm not going to say his loss, he was no-good or any of that because you must have seen something worth your time and affection in him. If I were you, I wouldn't pursue him anymore. If he calls and you want to talk to him, go ahead, if you can handle it. If not, don't. Sometimes we throw people away too fast because we had one expectation and maybe they really weren't supposed to be the Yang to your Yin romantically, but they are purposed for other things. Get to know him objectively if you are detached enough. Look at him from a different perspective.