posted December 02, 2008 08:39 PM            

When I looked thru the brown-eyed Pisces, into the blue-eyed Pisces....

posted December 02, 2008 10:40 PM            

This past weekend he got drunk with some of his old Frat buddies and texted me at like 3 oclock in the morning to tell me that he loved me. ( I have only known him for 2 months!). I havent even told him that I like him. First of all I don't even know why I woke up (actually I do, but thats whole different thread, lol ) , but I did and I texted him back and said what are you doing. Then he calls me, and tells me what he is doing and where he is at and who he is with, blah, blah. Then the next day, he text me again late at night and said something, and then added "I love you" at the end. I said why do you say that?
He texted me back about 2 hours later and said "I have no idea". Wierd right?
We have hung out the past two nights since he got back in town, and he hasnt mentioned a word about the I love you stuff. The only thing he has said is that he enjoys making me "happy". Whatever that is supposed to mean. But then he said, " I enjoy making everyone around me happy". His Pluto is exactly conjunct his Moon and his Moon and Pluto are conjunct in Scorpio!
So he is pretty intense, and alot of his thoughts are dark and his emotions run deep.
Which I am sure freaks alot of people out when he gets to know them. He can be quite overwhelming even for me and my Scorpio Ascendant.
But last night we were sitting beside each other on bar stools quite close, in fact I think our legs were touching and he told me that he is looking for the perfect girl. Looks me dead in the eye and asked me why he can't find her. I said I don't know, the Universe works in mysterious ways. Then there was that locked eyes thing, and I felt this rush of emotions like I love him.
And its a deep, deep calm emotion. And I am literally know lie.... sitting on the stool feeling this and thinking in a detached way "WTF" man! What is going on right now! lol I can't be in love with this man. But I have never felt that kind of quite calm emotion for anyone, it felt like energy was vibrating in every cell with a intense frequency.
I actually got up and walked off because I swear he was gonna kiss me, he was staring at me so intensely which I guess is his own Plutonian way.

I almost feel like he is playing some strange game with me. Like he is trying to make me give in to him and fall love with him the way all these girls around him do. I have never seen woman fall at a mans feet the way women are with him. And he likes the way they do whatever he tells them to do. Very Plutonian right? But get this he doesnt have a girlfriend. And he tells each and every one of them and there are about 5 girls. No lie. At least 5 that constantly call him and want his attention.
He did tell me that he told 3 of them that they dont need to call him anymore because he did not want to lead them on. He said it like he had did some noble deed and was proud of it.

If he wasnt so hot. I think I would be fine. But he is one of the hottest men I have ever seen. Its quite sickening how much of a total package he really is when it comes to how he treats me.
He says that I never cease to amaze him.

But none are as aware as I am how, my Neptune conjunct moon and Mercury and Venus in Pisces can get carried away with illusions.
I have to meditate every day and push him away from me, or emotions get all diluted and I can't tell if I am feeling what he is feeling or what I am feeling.
Maybe thats the tool I am supposed to gain from this whole situation.

Why me? lol
At least I am smart enough not to try to manipulate the situation anymore. It all feels very fated, so I am just totally sitting back and leting it unfold, so that I can exit gracefully when my scene is up and my karma is done! lol
At least thats what I keep telling myself.

So what do you guys think?

posted December 03, 2008 10:55 AM            

"At least I am smart enough not to try to manipulate the situation anymore. It all feels very fated, so I am just totally sitting back and leting it unfold, so that I can exit gracefully when my scene is up and my karma is done! lol
At least thats what I keep telling myself."

I SO understand that completely.
I was totally wrapped up in your story... and my thoughts at one point (when you were resisting before I read the above quote) were, GEEZ, we are all so ridiculous. IT IS SO RARE TO FIND PEOPLE WE CONNECT WITH DEEPLY IN EVERYDAY LIFE and yet when people connect deeply and even spend huge amounts of time together they still doubt that there is a "connection". But then I thought of my own situation and how complicated it is and thought, well, we don't know everything about each other's situations. But, he obviously likes you. I mean it seems completely obvious to an outside perspective. I know you are deciding whether or not to deal with his issues, but it looks like that is your assignment right? (she says softly) So, start loving him and say my prayer...

Let's Dance knows it... :^D

Let me find it for you.♥

♥ "Dear God (Uni-verse = One-Song), help me to love and bless this man and this experience while loving myself. Help me to learn the lessons I am meant to learn and teach the lessons I am meant to teach. Help me to co-create friendship and trust. I give this relationship to You, God. Please help me to remember to pray." ♥

And this might hurt here and there...
but

Ok, so way to hijack my thread Mars!!!! hehe

posted December 03, 2008 11:45 AM            

So you are right...
I am being a brat right now.... for some reason I am mad about the whole situation! lol
Maybe its my Sag moon. It doesnt like the idea of being brought in from the pasture. I feel like I am soaring in my soul development right now. I feel so complete. More than I ever have in my entire life. My lifepath has so much free will. I didnt anticipate the possibliity of being caught up in something fated. Perhaps the Universe is pulling the carpet out from under my feet to remind me of my own physical makeup, and how I am still at its mercy no matter how high the rest of me soars at times, Earth is still our home right now in this form.
My past lives have been so domesticated.
My South Node is Pisces, in the 4th house. And I all these types of relationships have been disasters for me. But it is because I lost myself in the relationship and totally fell into my "old" or should I say "ancient" ways, lol.
But he does respect all of my ambitions and is very supportive of my career, my interest in astrology, my spiritual gifts and talents. He respectively has his own equally amazing talents, I love to see him building things and using his hands, its very attractive to me that "earthiness", and I know how happy that makes him.
..............ughh ok so I love him! ......fine

And apparently he is what I need right now in this moment.
He does understand me, and I have been myself around him more than anyone my entire life. And he accepts it all.
No matter how fast I sling it at hiim. He can't seem to get enough! lol

"Dear God (Uni-verse = One-Song), help me to love and bless this man and this experience while loving myself. Help me to learn the lessons I am meant to learn and teach the lessons I am meant to teach. Help me to co-create friendship and trust. I give this relationship to You, God. Please help me to remember to pray."

So this one I couldnt even finish reading, tears just flooded down, it spoke to my soul, who always responds with tears! lol Its all that water in me lol!

Thanks...... I can't discuss this kind of stuff with any of my friends. They just don't get as I am sure you know in your own personal life.

Sigh....tears.....so something released in me. I will be able to handle this. My Mars is in Aries, so I have the heart of a warrior and the battles scars of previous wars well fought.........I wont be the martyr this time though.
Its not in the stars............ lighting my torch.........
jumping through the portal............

At least he's cute! lol And I do love a challenge! No matter what dimension it manifests itself in.

P.S
Sorry about the hi-jack. But at least I warned you it was coming, lol. True to my Aries Sun! lol
That flash I think is Uranian in nature. Its like a bolt of intuition/recognition from a past life....Perhaps it is our Higher Self delighting in the moment of finding this person, because it is an honor to have found them. It is a clue that we are on the right path.
Easier said than lived....................lol

posted December 03, 2008 12:08 PM            

quote:

---

ughh ok so I love him! ......fine

---

posted December 03, 2008 12:29 PM            

Embrace the dragon! That means to NOT conquer your fear but to embrace it and experience it.

As I said to ex husband no.2
"We were vile, we made each other suffer, I've never known such ecstasy and such pain.

posted December 03, 2008 03:08 PM            

Driving around the city

visiting my memories

on a snowy, overcast day
in early December.

Glimpses of the past
answering questions of the present
with indications
of the future

things forgotten
out of conscious awareness
rise
and remind
and prompt their lesson again
like watching a good movie or listening to a good song
a second time

and catching the things you missed.

Coming Home
playing in the background
on the soundtrack of my mind

(remember)
remember... my mind whispers

and I do.

I pass the place where...
and that's where they...
and Oh yeah, I remember that experience.
Such a profound growing time
and interesting people...

The heat is warm
the worst memory (from a more recent ghost of Christmas past) rises on the horizon
(to the surface)
i put away the pen.
and

change my route

take a right

choose a new direction

What's on the radio? the nervous, fearful voice inside my mind quickly asks
to change the direction of my mind.
a click
and then REO Speedwagon belting out: "keep on runnin' keep on runnin' "
-guitar solo-

**** (fu...

ok, maybe I am running but why do I have to think about this? it was so painful and
"Classic Hits 97X!"
American Woman starts
I miss a stop sign and then almost hit a parked car.

I confirm to the Universe I am listening
and I get it, yes yes, I participated, I made mistakes...
and on the right is a lit up, glowing, Nativity
though it is only 15 minutes after noon.

There's a stop sign
and I stop this time.
"Bye byyyyye
bye byyyyye"

"It's all about the music... the greatest classic hits..."

but what about the present?...

"I ain't never been with a woman long enough
For my boots to get old
We've been together so long now
They both need resoled

If I ever settle down
You'd be my kind
And it's a good time for me
To head on down the line

Heard it in a love song (3x)
Can't be wrong

I'm the kinda man likes to get away
Like to start dreaming about
Tomorrow, today
Never said that I love you
even though its so
Where's that duffle bag of mine?
It's time to go

Heard it in a love song (3x)
Can't be wrong

I'm gonna be leaving
At the break of dawn
Wish you could come
But I don't need no woman taggin along
I'll sneak out that door
Couldn't stand to see you cry
I'd stay another year if i saw teardrops in your eyes

Heard it in a love song (3x)
Can't be wrong

I never had a damn thing, but what I had
I had to leave it behind
You're the hardest thing
I ever tried to get off of my mind
Always something greener on the other side of that hill
I was born a wrangler and a rounder
and I guess I always will

Heard it in a love song (3x)
Can't be wrong"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPu5d6O9Nw0

posted December 03, 2008 03:55 PM            

Mystic Melody:
"It is easy to tell yourself you imagine things or they are some sort of wishful thinking instead of intuitions and truths."
You know thats exactly what I was doing. Until I saw our synastry last night, and then I was like holy s*&%$, this is no coincidence or wishful thinking.
We love you too hun! Your such a fabulous soul!

Bunnies:
"Why do people spend their whole time looking for love and then when it arrives do their level best to run away?"

I know, i know. I have seen people doing it, but I had no clue in the moment that I was doing the same thing. I needed a dose of "unreality", to expand my mind. Its fear....totally fear of the unknown I guess. I will start embracing it though one step at a time, one day at a time..... thanks for your words... *hugz*

posted July 08, 2009 12:36 AM            

i think like most of you i've NEVER experienced anything like this or even believed it (except for in movies or books) until it happened to me. and it wasn't even as romantic or wistful as you would think. or at least how i would envision it if it were to happen to me.

anyway, i still remember the exact day it happened. what i was doing. what i was wearing...i was going up the escalator with my friends who were making fun of me for coming down with food poisoning a couple of days earlier. i was in the middle of them and i was turned to my friend behind me as i was laughing my head off and trying to quiet down his mocking of me.

i suddenly could feel someone or something staring down on me. i just felt something on me so i turned from my facing my friend, who was behind me, to look up at what was to my left. we were going up an escalator and this guy was going down an escalator adjacent to us. however these escalators are several feet apart, not side by side.

i don't even know how my face looked like but i'm sure it was like of a deer about to get mowed over by a car. it wasn't like some gushing lovey dovey face but more like i've managed to dodge this kind of romance-y/melodramatic stuff my entire life and like uh-oh i just got hit on the face with the dodgeball.

i went from laughing my head off to sudden silence and stillness. i had seen this person before and he just stared at me like right into me the entire time we could see each other. they say time stands still and everyone arounds you disappears and that's what happened. it was as if i got sucked into a time warp yet i was physically inbetween two people.

i was really shaken by it. it felt as if this person was trying to tell me something. i felt as if he saw right into me and just poached my soul. i felt really scared like i don't hold stares with people ever (i'm a chicken what can i say?) and with this it was like i couldn't tear away. i wanted to tell someone what happened but like okay even when it happens it seems kind of nuts.