posted February 24, 2005 02:30 AM            

I guess I should start at the beginning. It all started about 4 years ago. I was not looking for a relationship at the time, at least not with anyone outside of this sexy Scorpio who had pursued me for a long time and given up & moved on, just as I'd warmed up to the idea of a relationship with him. I then met this adorable Pisces at college and we hit it off. We had an instant rapport (it was like we'd always known each other), and though I didn't realize it at the time, he saw the potential for much more. Despite the advice of a mutual friend (who warned him that I wasn't looking for a relationship), he asked me out (i turned him down, but continued to be friendly), and he continued to be there for me in other ways, like supporting me through some very rough times in my life. My feelings for him grew over time, and a few months down the road, we'd fallen hard for each other, without ever having officially dated! He's the sweetest, most thoughtful guy I've ever met. However, my family foresaw problems if we ever got together - our religious & cultural differences were sure to break us up, if not now, then much further down the road, they said. Some of what they said got to me, and I conveyed to him that I couldn't pursue it. He kept convincing me that we would last and that we could work out any potential problems, despite the multiple times I decided that I couldn't and wouldn't see him. He'd be miserable without me, and I'd realize that I was also miserable without him. Every time, after keeping my distance for a while, I'd call him, just to stay friends at least, as I told myself, but we'd end up back in the same place: falling for each other all over again. In the meantime, I'd go on these blind dates courtesy: the family or well-meaning friends, a la 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'. I always found reasons to reject them, and continued with my Pisces, and we spent some very happy times together, when we were together, and i wasn't consumed by qualms about keeping it from the family, or worries about our future.

A year and half ago, on one of the breaks, I met a Scorpio. He seemed nice enough to me, and try as I did, I found no big reason to reject him, or our budding long-distance relationship. My family loved him, and his loved me.. and I ended up getting engaged to him quite willingly. He too said he loved me, and couldn't wait to be married. After the engagement, however, doubts started to creep in. Most notably, there was the one that my Pisces love from college brought up -what if we'd been soulmates, and i'd thrown it all away? As if it weren't hard enough, i saw the Pisces on a daily basis at school (we weren't speaking then), and his obvious pain tore at me. Unlike a happy bride-to-be, I hesitated to wear my ring in front of him, or even sound happy. My heart was bleeding too, and I realized I had to talk to him, if only to get closure for him and for me. We both decided to do that as adults, and started talking again. The inevitable happened - we fell in love with each other all over again. By this time, I was frantic to cancel the engagement and my main concern was to make sure it was ok with my parents first (I tell you, I must have a horribly afflicted chart). Cancelling the wedding did not go over well with them, and they kept trying to talk me into staying with it. By then, it got too late to cancel the wedding and still make it out unscathed. I was unable to stop it from happening, much to my dismay. The unthinkable happened- I ended up getting married anyway and went through the motions like i was in a trance. Again, once I returned from the wedding, and saw my Piscean love, my facade crumbled, and I was plunged in deep heart-wrenching misery.

In desperation, I prayed for guidance, and got the answer that I should move in with the Scorpio, and that from there on, things would get clearer as to what I must do. So, I moved in with him, and decided to give the marriage a chance, and if it didn't work out, then I'd be fully justified in ending it and moving on. I've had a very tough few months here.. the Scorpio's turned out to be a very selfish, self-absorbed, dishonest man, an utter disappointment. In all ways, he's the opposite of the Pisces I lost. He puts very little into the marriage, which has turned out to be a real farce. I've also come to realize that I cannot live with this, that I could never get used to it and settle for anything less than the kind of love and connection I had shared with the Pisces. So, I'm contemplating the next course of action; getting it annulled.

I've also been getting these 'signs' that keep pointing to the Pisces, and vivid dreams about him. I have the strongest feeling that once I'm out of this farce of a marriage, that he and i will be united once again. Then, I get very scared... I wonder if I'm throwing away a marriage that could've been something if only I'd been in the right frame of mind, and if i were to stay and work on it. Am I subconsciously sabotaging my future by being stuck on the past?

I also wonder why I'm still being drawn to the Pisces, even if it is in my dreams, why I can't ever forget him and move on, and why he can't let go of me and move on either; do we have some karmic connection (is that what a "silver cord" is?) that's keeping us together? Is he my soulmate? Are we fated to be together again in this life?

posted February 24, 2005 02:31 AM            

House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Sagittarius 07°37'32
2nd House Capricorn 06°21'34
3rd House Aquarius 06°17'35
Imum Coeli Pisces 08°09'24
5th House Aries 10°24'34
6th House Taurus 10°26'15
Descendant Gemini 07°37'32
8th House Cancer 06°21'34
9th House Leo 06°17'35
Medium Coeli Virgo 08°09'24
11th House Libra 10°24'34
12th House Scorpio 10°26'15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pisces ex' chart:
born on 13 March 1979 local time 2:30am
in Richland, WA (US) U.T. 10:30
119w17, 46n17 sid. time 13:54:43
Planetary positions
Sun Pisces 22°15'06 02 direct
Moon Virgo 17°18'24 08 direct
Mercury Aries 08°20'03 03 direct
Venus Aquarius 11°23'10 01 direct
Mars Pisces 10°42'45 02 direct
Jupiter Cancer 29°15'37 07 retrograde
Saturn Virgo 09°37'12 08 retrograde
Uranus Scorpio 20°52'21 10 retrograde
Neptune Sagittarius 20°28'12 12 direct
Pluto Libra 18°32'36 09 retrograde
True Node Virgo 17°30'18 08 direct

posted December 16, 2018 09:20 AM            

So I did try counseling with the Scorpio, and the counselors agreed he wasn’t going to change. Long story short, we did get a divorce. It took a long time before I started dating again but serendipity put the Pisces and me in close quarters again so we ended up marrying. We have two sweet little girls now. Life worked out.

posted December 16, 2018 04:23 PM            

Did you ever figure out why the universe gave you Scorpio before you could marry the Pisces?