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Author Topic:   Age-Gap Relationships
Voix_de_la_Mer
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Posts: 3028
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011

posted November 27, 2020 06:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi everyone,

I was hoping to get a discourse going on age-gap relationships, in particular how people work through concerns about the future. I am in one, there are 17 years between myself and my partner (I am the younger party). Recently I have been getting a bit morose about the thought that we will not grow old together. That when he retires, I will still be carving a career. And when I retire, he could be dead, close to dying or with health problems

One good thing about it is that I will likely still be relatively fit and able to care for him when he is elderly, rather than us both becoming infirm at the same time and having to rely on family or services. But still, I want him with me when I am close to passing into the next form.

I know I could look at this more metaphysically or spiritually, but despite the spiritual connection between us, there is a very solid bodily attachment (you should see the synastry) and it is a very tactile relationship, so the thought of not having his physical presence while I am still here in a body is quite destabilising.

Have you had concerns like this? And how have you worked through them?

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Eternal Energy
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Posts: 288
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Registered: May 2020

posted November 27, 2020 07:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Eternal Energy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My relationships, though few, always have an age difference (with some exceptions), as for some reason I am always attracted to men older than me. I know how you feel. I have felt it too, but...

You can never know who leaves first.

Thank him for being together every day.
Love him with all your heart. Show him how much you care for him. And pray this love you two have together to last until the end.

I really wish all the best for you. There is nothing greater than seeing people loving each other...

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Voix_de_la_Mer
Moderator

Posts: 3028
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011

posted November 27, 2020 07:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for your lovely post Eternal Energy (cool name btw). I'm similar. I haven't found men my own age attractive since my mid twenties (38 now). But I've never had a gap before that would likely cut the future short by such a margin.

Uch, I know. I could go first. Could get hit by a bus tomorrow, or any manner of calamities I guess. So yes, I guess one way to deal with it is just to love him and appreciate him like crazy while I have him (business as usual then )

I think it's seeing my grandparents grow old together that's making me melancholy. They are together nearly 70 years and are so in tune and symbiotic, and take on the perils and fears of old age together. They will be one of those couples who die within a short time of each other, I'm sure of it.

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Eternal Energy
Knowflake

Posts: 288
From:
Registered: May 2020

posted November 27, 2020 08:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Eternal Energy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't worry dear...Everything's going to be alright...

Love every moment you two spend together. Stand by him. I see no other way...

And everything's going to be alright.

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Voix_de_la_Mer
Moderator

Posts: 3028
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011

posted November 27, 2020 08:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Eternal Energy

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Randall
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Posts: 134647
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 27, 2020 12:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Quit expecting him to be infirm, because 80 is the new 50. Young people die all the time. Accidents are one of the leading causes of death. So, forget about death, and enjoy living together.

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GalacticCoreExplosion
Knowflake

Posts: 1801
From: Somewhere
Registered: Sep 2019

posted November 27, 2020 03:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GalacticCoreExplosion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Eternal Energy:
Don't worry dear...Everything's going to be alright...

Love every moment you two spend together. Stand by him. I see no other way...

And everything's going to be alright.


Yeah Voix, take it from a fellow Aqua Sun: http://youtu.be/OD3F7J2PeYU

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MoonMystic
Knowflake

Posts: 2983
From: Oceanic Sands
Registered: Nov 2016

posted November 27, 2020 08:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Voix_de_la_Mer, Age is a state of mind. I've known people in their 80s and above that were so full of life. Sharp minds too. I did know a lady I befriended from work, we lost touch for a few months, she called to invite me to her wedding. She was 27 and he was 46. Actually, her mother had a second husband was about 39 when she married her then 67 year old husband. I knew this friend's family. They loved the stepdad. I think she, (my friend) modeled herself like her mother, as for the May/Dec romance.


Voix_de_la_Mer, it will be okay. Enjoy your common grounds and just love love love strongly!

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Voix_de_la_Mer
Moderator

Posts: 3028
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011

posted November 28, 2020 04:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for your kind and encouraging thoughts everyone

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