Author
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Topic: I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF! PLZ HELP! WHY IS GOD EXPERIMENTING ON US VIA ASTROLOGY?
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greatgatsb Newflake Posts: 4 From: Registered: Jul 2017
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posted July 26, 2017 08:33 AM
Thank You so much Randall for your help!my name is John Carter AND I AM IN TEARS! I AM CLOSE TO SUICIDAL! I NEED HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! I AM 36 year old male virgin and about to lose the girl of my dreams because I'm always afraid and isolated! I have natal Sun in Aquarius (detriment) at 28 which is COMBUST Mercury RETROGRADE in 11th HOUSE! But that's not enough! I have MARS (masculine fire) in PISCES (feminine water) at 8 in 11th HOUSE but then my 12th HOUSE begins at PISCES 12... Which means no matter what ACTION i try to follow through with it always backfires on me and i wind up in the house of undoing! HELP ME! BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH! My girl of many years has Pluto, Moon & Saturn in Scorpio and all she does is back-stab & cheat on me & then always comes back to me and I can't say no & i always take her back! WHY? I have Juno in SCORPIO 8! Then I have Juno in the 7th House (house of marriage) Then I have Juno TRINE Mars at PISCES 8! THE ENERGY IS OVERPOWERING & I'M JUST CAUGHT HERE! I CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS! She has many Scorpio elements: * Pluto 3 RETROGRADE * Moon 13 * Saturn 25 RETROGRADE * South Node 18 I'VE NEVER HAD SEX IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I'M TRAPPED IN THE CULT MY ENTIRE LIFE & WE'RE NOT MARRIED! If I have sex I will be excommunicated from the church and lose my entire family who will never speak to me again. My girl has already been ex-communicated from the cult so her family has cut her off, but I still secretly stay by her side because I understand that South Node is a killer. I HAVE NOTHING IN VIRGO so I choose to be a virgin because without me she will die. And if she dies I will die! I LOVE HER & SHE LOVES ME but God F*CKED US UP AT BIRTH WITH THESE ELEMENTS! My girl knows nothing about astrology. When I secretly checked her Juno it was RETOGRADE in Virgo! I also have Jupiter retrograde COMBUST Saturn retrograde in Libra 9! MY ENTIRE LIFE has been one big battle between expanding & contracting... living & dying... God & Satan! HELP ME! HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME! HOW DO I BREAK THIS CYCLE??? I CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS! Her name is Y Castries, St Lucia May 4, 1985 My name is J Brooklyn, NY Feb 17, 1981 IP: Logged |
furrybunny Knowflake Posts: 2975 From: NY Registered: Dec 2014
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posted July 26, 2017 10:46 AM
Astrology has an effect on you but not to the point you cant function or use your free will.... as long as you acknoweldge the challenging aspects in astrology I don't see why you can't get out of this rut,.. I would say your cult has a larger influence on your psyche than planetary positions. You need to seek help and not blame or rely on astrology to fix your problems.IP: Logged |
areesquivel Knowflake Posts: 738 From: MX Registered: Feb 2016
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posted July 26, 2017 12:33 PM
Not an expert on Astrology but I see you have transit Uranus conjunct ASC, maybe that's why you are dealing with this maybe feels like the need to break free... I don't know but I do agree with furry bunny I see astrology as an energy and patterns that can change or not as long as you are aware of it and work with that energy, your choice. As for advice astrological speaking I have Pisces Moon and I have always felt emotional inestable and the only way to keep my emotions in check is working at the 180 degree energy, meaning Virgo for me, the moment I started to work out I felt in balance. IP: Logged |
outofideas Knowflake Posts: 504 From: Registered: Jul 2014
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posted July 26, 2017 04:04 PM
Oh dear, as soon as I saw your post I felt urgency to respond. Our charts have a few similarities. I also have a stellium in the 11th house and a Moon-Venus opposition, however my nodes square it rather than conjunct it (your Mars is on my NN). You are highly sensitive and need lots of positive contact with others to feel well. Fights and stuff upset you and you prefer more agreeable and kind people as yourself. You probably hate letting people down so that's why you keep taking her back even though she has not been loyal and nice to you. My last lover was born 2 days later than you... so you share nearly the same placements, so you could say that it would be very easy for me to understand you. I checked our Composite and Davidson and they are nearly identical with that lover of mine so our contact here must be no coincidence. You and I have quite a few complimentary and powerful aspects.I also sometimes mourn over how astrology, or the planetary placements rather, have defined my crappy life and it doesn't look like there's much room for betterment. Self pity would not be your friend I'm afraid - you have to get yourself together and start trusting in your own power. If you are unhappy in this relationship then think about how you become trapped in this situation? You are incredibly smart and perceptive and also sensitive with the positive aspects from Pluto and Neptune to your Sun and Mercury, but the squares from Uranus present real challenges in your relationship with others. I looked up your Synastry and Composite charts with this girl and there were a few quite negative things that stood out so honestly it does not look like your relationship could improve or become more stable and positive. You should start taking care of yourself and perhaps look for someone new who you could be actually happy with. Unhealthy and tormenting relationship can really suck you in. I also had a boyfriend recently with Sun/Mercury in Scorpio and he kept coming in and going out of my life as he pleased which was very hurtful and I got so hooked that I couldn't wait for him to come back to me, however this is a torture. The rest of the time he indulged in sex and what not. A person who truly loves you would never do this to you. And I've my fair share of people who have prominent Scorpio placements and have not really found one who is 'evolved' and loyal, they all just take from you as if you owe them. Her Taurus Sun being on your Chiron does not help you at all. Taurus are similar to Scorpio in many ways, stubborn and set in their black and white views. It must be a rollercoaster with her which may be exciting and intense but if you are so upset then it may indeed be a time for a major change with Uranus transiting your Ascendant. IP: Logged |
greatgatsb Newflake Posts: 4 From: Registered: Jul 2017
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posted July 26, 2017 04:04 PM
THANK YOU SO MUCH furrybunny and areesquivel and outofideas..do you believe god is experimenting on us via astrology? like the way we experiment on mice? IP: Logged |
greatgatsb Newflake Posts: 4 From: Registered: Jul 2017
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posted July 26, 2017 04:26 PM
quote: Originally posted by outofideas: Her Taurus Sun being on your Chiron does not help you at all. Taurus are similar to Scorpio in many ways, stubborn and set in their black and white views. It must be a rollercoaster with her...
THANK YOU outofideas... you hit the nail! Chiron is that a wounded healer... and I can share what I've recorded with the masses and thus teach them a thing or two to avoid this for themselves. Her wounding though makes me stronger... weird right? I guess the issue is my 11th HOUSE (GAINS) everything she does & has done has filled me with GAINS of human psyche. DO WE REALLY HAVE FREE WILL? Can I blame her for cheating if she has all this in Scorpio? You ever see that movie "when a man loves a woman?" If there is no FREE WILL (after all no matter what we do we will suffer and die) & our lives are controlled by the bodies... then am I called to simply dole out FORGIVENESS (Jesus) over & over? Aquarius is the slave kneeling water pourer, always serving others, always bending over... and getting f*cked up the you know where? The Mars in Pisces, ruling Charity, sucks all the life out of me!
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greatgatsb Newflake Posts: 4 From: Registered: Jul 2017
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posted July 26, 2017 04:45 PM
quote: Originally posted by outofideas: I looked up your Synastry and Composite charts with this girl and there were a few quite negative things that stood out so honestly it does not look like your relationship could improve or become more stable and positive.
There are some interesting things we have in common though: Sun & Mars are important to MALE and Moon & Venus are important to FEMALE. I am afflicted in Aquarius Sun COMBUST Mercury Retrograde... and I have FIRE MASCULINE MARS in FEMININE WATER PISCES! (Bruce/Caitlin Jenner with tape over his mouth) Her moon is afflicted in Scorpio ... and her Venus is afflicted in Aries! I think its our mutual affliction that forced us together... "we found love in a hopeless place" (Rhianna) Also she has Moon, Saturn, Pluto & South Node ALL IN SCORPIO! I have Sun, Mercury, Venus & South Node ALL IN AQUARIUS! So we both have preponderance of bodies in a skill set that we ultimately have to sacrifice to reach TRUE NODE! If you think I'm over thinking this tell me...
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 90550 From: From a galaxy, far, far away... Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 01, 2017 03:53 PM
Have things improved?IP: Logged |
MetalAphrodite Moderator Posts: 2603 From: Zanguin :3 Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 08, 2017 12:32 PM
... I think you need to visit a therapist, as this is not normal or conducive behavior for a healthy and functional lifestyle.Since I seem to be the only one saying this, I don't think it's appropriate that I not comment on this thread since I have seen it. Don't look for the fault in your stars. Look for reasons to keep fighting even when the going gets tough and everything seems impossible. Sending good vibes to you and your loved one. If you live in NY, there are plenty of resources to keep you up and going if you just ask for help. Same with being able to help the girl you mention. However, to help her, you must help yourself first. IP: Logged |
Yanmorg Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Registered: Feb 2013
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posted August 09, 2017 10:30 AM
I hope you're still pushing.I don't know your situation firsthand or exactly what you're going through, but I feel your pain. I've been there. Your whole world just feels like it's falling apart and there's no hope anywhere. You feel like you're being consumed by total darkness with no way out. All you can do is believe that things will eventually get better. I could tell you to think positive and get up and do something but anyone who's been depressed before knows this isn't an easy task under those conditions. I wish I could give you a decent hug. Coming to LL for help isn't the best route as you can see.. all others can do is give you words of encouragement and tell you what they would do in your situation but no one can live for you.
I want you to believe you have the ability and the strength to overcome everything that's troubling you. You are not weak, insignificant, or worthless. You have an important purpose on this earth just like everyone else even if you or no one else sees it at the moment, but just like all things, this too, shall pass. Let it do just that. Let it pass. Go numb from the world for awhile. Just BE. Sit on those emotions and urges and reflect. Just sit. As bad as you want to just DO SOMETHING because you're tired of feeling so miserable, remain stagnant. Don't make a move until its in the right direction. Don't cause any more harm to yourself.
You don't deserve it. You deserve to be happy and full of life.
I hope you have found peace of mind and the energy to go another day. You are in my mind and heart and I'm rooting for you. IP: Logged |
Aubyanne Moderator Posts: 6714 From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse Registered: Sep 2014
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posted January 10, 2018 10:17 PM
Were you able to find insight?Being 36, I’m thinking you’re having your Second Nodal Return, too. That can be a rough time. IP: Logged |
KarkaQueen Knowflake Posts: 6649 From: LURKING Registered: May 2011
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posted January 10, 2018 10:37 PM
"36 year old male virgin"K. I couldn't care less if someone wants to end their life because they can't get azz.
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capricorncheriscty Knowflake Posts: 49 From: Registered: Nov 2017
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posted January 11, 2018 07:08 PM
quote: Originally posted by KarkaQueen: "36 year old male virgin"K. I couldn't care less if someone wants to end their life because they can't get azz.
That's pretty terrible to say... IP: Logged |
KarkaQueen Knowflake Posts: 6649 From: LURKING Registered: May 2011
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posted January 11, 2018 07:43 PM
quote: Originally posted by capricorncheriscty: That's pretty terrible to say...
You must be one of the weirdos if you think it's okay to threaten killing yourself on a public forum because you haven't been in a ***** since birth.. IP: Logged |
FatedCinderella Knowflake Posts: 563 From: Registered: Mar 2016
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posted January 11, 2018 07:52 PM
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MoonMystic Knowflake Posts: 1082 From: ♤ Ethereal Umbra ♤ Registered: Nov 2016
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posted January 11, 2018 11:27 PM
Everyone "feels" differntly about their experiences or lack of them. I think to lose one's life for absolutely any reason is disheartening.Suicide isn't the answer but everyone has a right to their feelings. Some might feel overpowering feelings about not having the experience to connect with another in the way OP is obviously crushed over. To connect in such a way is a huge factor in our being HUMANS. Therefore I completely can appreciate the gravity of Ops sadness. OP, you can't know it would not occur if you weren't here to see if it was upcoming. Some people are late bloomers in certain areas of life. (I realise this is an old thread), I hope you've changed your mind and are well. Sending well, Caring and peaceful thoughts your way OP. IP: Logged |
FatedCinderella Knowflake Posts: 563 From: Registered: Mar 2016
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posted January 12, 2018 12:03 AM
quote: Originally posted by MoonMystic: Everyone "feels" differntly about their experiences or lack of them. I think to lose one's life for absolutely any reason is disheartening.Suicide isn't the answer but everyone has a right to their feelings. Some might feel overpowering feelings about not having the experience to connect with another in the way OP is obviously crushed over. To connect in such a way is a huge factor in our being HUMANS. Therefore I completely can appreciate the gravity of Ops sadness. OP, you can't know it would not occur if you weren't here to see if it was upcoming. Some people are late bloomers in certain areas of life. (I realise this is an old thread), I hope you've changed your mind and are well. Sending well, Caring and peaceful thoughts your way OP.
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KarkaQueen Knowflake Posts: 6649 From: LURKING Registered: May 2011
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posted January 12, 2018 01:09 AM
Do ya'll know about incels? If you don't don't be quick to judge me and treat me like a OMG Hurrrrrrrrible person.This reeks of emotionally manipulative and creepy behavior. Let people like this spiritually and emotionally drain you, go ahead, but don't get mad when someone doesn't have the same perspective as you. IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness Knowflake Posts: 6144 From: Registered: Aug 2012
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posted January 12, 2018 08:09 AM
Have nothing in Virgo so decided to stay virgin? does not make sense.I don't know why, but I smell something really fishy. IP: Logged |
KarkaQueen Knowflake Posts: 6649 From: LURKING Registered: May 2011
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posted January 12, 2018 09:04 AM
quote: Originally posted by anonymidarkness: Have nothing in Virgo so decided to stay virgin? does not make sense.I don't know why, but I smell something really fishy.
Yes, he sounds deranged and severely mentally ill but let them tell it.. he needs pats on the back and not the nearest direction to a psychiatric hospital. I actually think I remember OP from another site. Hmmm. IP: Logged |
DannyCappy Knowflake Posts: 833 From: Registered: Jan 2016
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posted January 12, 2018 10:58 AM
quote: Originally posted by MoonMystic: Everyone "feels" differntly about their experiences or lack of them. I think to lose one's life for absolutely any reason is disheartening.Suicide isn't the answer but everyone has a right to their feelings. Some might feel overpowering feelings about not having the experience to connect with another in the way OP is obviously crushed over. To connect in such a way is a huge factor in our being HUMANS. Therefore I completely can appreciate the gravity of Ops sadness. OP, you can't know it would not occur if you weren't here to see if it was upcoming. Some people are late bloomers in certain areas of life. (I realise this is an old thread), I hope you've changed your mind and are well. Sending well, Caring and peaceful thoughts your way OP.
I hope you are well OP. IP: Logged |
outofideas Knowflake Posts: 504 From: Registered: Jul 2014
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posted January 12, 2018 01:05 PM
quote: Originally posted by KarkaQueen: Do ya'll know about incels? If you don't don't be quick to judge me and treat me like a OMG Hurrrrrrrrible person.This reeks of emotionally manipulative and creepy behavior. Let people like this spiritually and emotionally drain you, go ahead, but don't get mad when someone doesn't have the same perspective as you.
You are so right, as I've said earlier in the thread I know someone who has an almost identical natal chart. They displayed similar behaviour. It's totally draining and harmful for the more sensitive ones but unfortunately some people simply cannot be helped. IP: Logged |
Spica Knowflake Posts: 1078 From: Canada Registered: Jul 2015
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posted January 12, 2018 01:15 PM
The OP sounds like Soren who is an aquarius too. He needs mental help, and come back to reality. It seems like they've lost their mind. I pray for John Carter to get better and heal.IP: Logged |
harmonicvibes Knowflake Posts: 5040 From: Registered: Dec 2015
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posted January 12, 2018 01:22 PM
I remember that Soren person on here...he was very weird....very bizarre responses and threads...very errie personIP: Logged |
mirage29 Knowflake Posts: 9054 From: us Registered: May 2012
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posted January 12, 2018 01:26 PM
quote: Originally posted by MoonMystic: Everyone "feels" differntly about their experiences or lack of them. I think to lose one's life for absolutely any reason is disheartening.Suicide isn't the answer but everyone has a right to their feelings. Some might feel overpowering feelings about not having the experience to connect with another in the way OP is obviously crushed over. To connect in such a way is a huge factor in our being HUMANS. Therefore I completely can appreciate the gravity of Ops sadness. OP, you can't know it would not occur if you weren't here to see if it was upcoming. Some people are late bloomers in certain areas of life. (I realise this is an old thread), I hope you've changed your mind and are well. Sending well, Caring and peaceful thoughts your way OP.
ty MoonMystic IP: Logged |