Lindaland
  Astral Realms
  Entity trying to merge with my body in my sleep (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Entity trying to merge with my body in my sleep
outofideas
Knowflake

Posts: 496
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted June 26, 2017 12:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for outofideas     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I find it a bit difficult to explain.
I was sleeping but was in a state of being quite conscious of my environment, or of my own body. I was dreaming something seemingly random or unrelated to what I was feeling. It felt like another entity was trying to get inside my body, I was seeing myself lying in bed, as if I had just opened my eyes and was seeing myself in the dark, however my eyes were not opened, it was the image of myself, and I couldn't see any entities but while envisioning myself from the sleeping position I was in, I felt something strongly trying to merge with my body, another soul maybe, but the experience didn't feel positive. It was like a forceful attempt to merge with my physical being, felt like the purpose of it was to gain real control over me.
The experience was felt so powerfully that I believe was realistic.
I experienced this feeling once more during my sleep that night, this time I was dreaming that there was a person who was physically trying to merge with my body (not in a sexual sense however) but I couldn't recognise them, and the setting was weird.
Both times felt as if it was my ex boyfriend though. This dream was maybe 3 months ago.

There was a more recent dream, he was there in my room, it was dark and I was supposed to be sleeping, but instead he had me pressed against the side of my bed as I was trying to tell him to go away (I think) or push him back. A few minutes later I am finding myself dreaming again, like I am able to see my body lying in bed in the dark as if I had my eyes open, although it felt more realistic this time and as if I was dreaming with my eyes open - for a brief moment I saw him standing next to my bed, it felt like he was smirking a bit and I didn't feel anything good from that. I got frightened and woke up panting.

I've not had any similar dreams before and since having these I have been feeling like I am not in total control of myself any more.
This ex is still in my life occasionally and it feels like he has the power of affecting me remotely (perhaps not fully acknowledged by him but I feel like he is extending mind energy that has quite a powerful effect on me).

IP: Logged

Ayelet
Moderator

Posts: 2650
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted June 26, 2017 05:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello Outofideas,
I am interpreting dreams, and this seems to me more than a dream. At least, this is how I perceive it. Perhaps someone else might try and analyse this as you feeling your ex is intrusive in your life, but maybe he really is. I am not familiar with this territory of the astral realms. I mean, where symbolism turns into actual experience. I would suggest inquiring into the issue through reading material, possibly Dion Fortune's stuff. But I understand these dreams are not so frequent, so maybe there is no reason to worry about their source so much? Could be your ex is no evil sorcerer but has a very powerful mind and projects it astrally. I don't really know. If you find yourself in this situation again, could you remember saying a prayer while it happens? If that is impossible (since you are sleeping and unaware), try saying a prayer before you fall asleep for awhile. It may be these experiences are infrequent, but still disturbing, so prayer can help for protection (from personal experience).

Good luck

IP: Logged

Ra
Moderator

Posts: 1976
From: Kentucky
Registered: May 2009

posted June 29, 2017 04:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello outofideas

I have some thoughts on this that are a bit different, and I'll get those to you as soon as I can.

In the meantime, Ayelet's suggestion about a little prayer before sleep is spot on. When frightened or concerned about such things, a protective prayer is always a good idea. I don't believe there is too much for you to worry about, but some positive thought/prayer can't hurt.

IP: Logged

mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 9019
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted June 29, 2017 04:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Chiming in, adding to the two responses you've received already...

You say this started around 3 months ago?

3 months ago, in March 2017, VENUS went retrograde from Aries back into Pisces, and spun around on top of Chiron Pisces. It was a surreal time for many.

Maybe events at that time spooked you a bit? .. Are your Pisces placements more-important in your chart than others?

There had also been eclipses IN Pisces/Virgo, and Aries/Libra.

You could probably (if you're into astrology) look at how those affected your chart? You could have sensitized yourself?

Also, BML (black moon Liliths) have hovered between dark Scorpio (trine Pisces) and Sagittarius (with Saturn), triggering perhaps old fears you hadn't known were 'there' ? ...

See if you can assuage some of those fears. Consider-- that these might only be an 'internal' fear that you mistake as a proper 'perception'? Somehow it 'stuck' to your experience right now, because you haven't digested (debriefed) from it yet-- even now, 3 months later.

The things we GIVE energy TO, feed and grow....

Spend some time setting up and sitting-in an internal and external 'safe' space. Close yourself off to thoughts from the 'outside'... and 'hold space' in inner-safeness.
.. You can keep adding beautiful squirts of color-shots that give a wonderful golden yellow white light INSIDE that beautiful space. ..
.. Inject it with fortifying nutritive wonderful taffy-good energies.

Practice 'holding' that image-space in your mind, and let it infuse you for even brief moments of the day.

Your subconscious mind can even start to see and use angel-numbers to help inwardly soothe... and remind you that you are Safe. You can see numbers all around, like on the clock, on your microwave, anywhere you see numbers!... LET it remind you to soak with Safety messages... You are Protected, and cannot be penetrated by any outside energy or force--- to your harm.

Whatever that 'outer' energy might be, will get "bored" and leave your arena, okay? .... Just let this pass-through at this time, taking easy full breaths, KNOWING you ARE safe, you are PROTECTED by Benevolent Beings in the Universe (I send this Message now, to help fortify).

YOU are Loved, You are Safe!! You are well-Protected from harm. ....

Pray and say (from your Heart), Thank You for Protecting me.

You are guarded by an Invisibility-Cloak.
If anything were to come?... they/he/whatever CANNOT see you. YOU are Protected. The only thing you 'feel' is the emotion that comes out of the Fear that might have surprised you back then, in THAT moment.... it's gone now. ALLOW it to Extinguish its own self. All you have to do is watch it go.....

Thoughtforms 'feed' off fears... they are just an energy-program that spun itself an ethereal-plasma in your space..... Stay still.... The energy will lower, and go away or stop... like smoke dissipates.

Did you ever see episodes of old Star Trek (TV)? There was a time when Spock, McCoy, and Captain Kirk were all placed into a cylinder of energy. The more they became upset about it, the STRONGER the field got. It was 'using' their OWN inner energy to hold them in bars on the outside.

Spock had observed what was happening... and he tried 'just' being curious, and detaching more and more of his emotion-energy FROM engaging with the ForceField around him.... Then softly, he lifts his hand gently, and placed it 'through' this sheaf, and the energy dispersed. He was freee from its grips.

You can Pray and ask Angelic Protection. THAT'S WHAT they were made for!!! They Love doing that for you.... It's their Job. You just call on them, and be aware that they DO stand guard, even when you are NOT aware of them at all....

You can take some crystals to bed with you.

Rose Quartz, Black Tourmaline, are two suggestions-- but you can explore more suggestions with someone in a metaphysical shop that sells these.

If you can light a votive candle, with the intention of the Light and Warmth of Safety being Present WITH you, then do that, safely of course (fire).

Bath in mineral salts.... Then apply soothing cream or lotion afterwards, to help you.
While you apply the lotion, let it soothe not only your skin, but be a healing act and a balm for your soul, AND your inner-child...

Some people like to smudge their living space with Sage... use the incense, or, a spray form of it.

Make sure that your upper chakras come into BALANCE. Pull some of that open energy down INTO the more root parts of you. You need to regulate those portals, and balance being TOO OPEN with being in a more grounding alignment with yourself.

.... Hope you feel better soon.

IP: Logged

mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 9019
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted June 29, 2017 04:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also..... If you have any kind of 'guilt' operating in your life right now, sit down with your journal (or, a trusted close friend or advisor), and discuss it.

Separate it from yourself, and have a kind of 'conversation' with it.

You can release it afterwards. It doesn't have to belong to you anymore...

Throw anything like that INTO those Piscean Waters, the Sea of Forgetfulness. Let the Waters take it away. You don't need it anymore.


If at all you come from a Christian belief background, you can Plead the Blood. (You'll know what that is, if you were brought up in those kinds of church environments.) ... Cleansing.

Take Super-Excellent Care of your Wonderful Self...

IP: Logged

Ra
Moderator

Posts: 1976
From: Kentucky
Registered: May 2009

posted June 30, 2017 12:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Great thoughts mirage

It is certainly possible that your ex is unconsciously invading your astral space, it happens all the time, but the way you describe the experience suggests another possibility. There are elements of your description, especially concerning your perceptions of perspective and conscious awareness, that suggest an experience which is less well known yet just as common (although neither is “common”). In fact, I believe this experience is almost always confused with astral attacks/intrusions, especially to the physical body.

As your experience was a bit difficult to explain, so too is this possibility, but I’ll try.

As you know, when the physical body sleeps, the astral body loosens from it, often separating entirely, and sometimes we become consciously aware of it or through it (the astral body). Oftentimes partial awareness causes confusion and perceptions become “strange”. This confusion and strangeness often give rise to fear and concern, at which point we naturally begin to mentally project all sorts of dark images about what might be happening. In the astral, what you think, you project, and what you project, you experience.

Something sometimes happens that many, if not most, do not recognize. We can separate from the astral body, leaving this astral “shell” (complete with its own intelligence for that density) hovering very near the physical body. And then there were three ... your physical body, your dense astral body, and your "third self", all in the same proximity.


The shift out of the denser astral body is far more subtle than the shift out of the physical body - it is more like a flow – and easily goes unrecognized. So imagine being in your astral body and suddenly noticing an amorphous, ethereal blob hovering near your physical body, perhaps even partially in/out of it (as naturally occurs with the astral body). Not understanding what is being seen, mental projections happen, and your mis-taken, denser astral self becomes something ominous and intrusive. This often causes a shift in consciousness back to the physical body, which in turn experiences the astral body as the intrusive entity.

So what I am saying is that, due to your particular descriptive of the experiences, it is possible that you are encountering, confronting, and even fighting yourself. I don’t know if this is the case for you, but it is more possible than you may think.

In either case, if you know that nothing can truly harm you, then nothing can.

Just some thoughts …


IP: Logged

mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 9019
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted July 01, 2017 04:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Great answer, Ra! Awesome description.

...

IP: Logged

outofideas
Knowflake

Posts: 496
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted July 02, 2017 06:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for outofideas     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you so much guys for the lovely words and the support!

I have been thinking over your suggestions... and I met with my ex the other day, we spent hours talking... or him talking. Which was fine by me this time as it allowed me to observe him more closely. It is sometimes difficult for me to see him clearly, possibly due to my Neptune sextile his Sun - I am very much into astrology, and actually, that would be thanks to him - he had ripped my heart in to pieces, breaking up with me via email, which then forced me to search for answers in astrology. It has helped me understand a lot about our relationship dynamic but there's still more to learn, I think.

It has become a trend for him to come in and go out of my life whenever he pleases, and he is a person who always has an agenda. This has become increasingly difficult for me to handle at times as in my mind he had become the man I want to spend my life with BUT how did this ever occur?
We have lots of history together due to which I had serious intentions for us. The first time we ever met we locked eyes for as long as we could. What's really important about that is how our encounter made me feel - I felt FEAR when I looked at him. And believe me, this totally baffled me at the time as I had never experienced such feelings when meeting anyone in my life, and I was such a lively person back then! I now swear by this feeling - I should have paid more attention to it back then that it was a real red alarm. I rarely feel anything at all when meeting new people anyway.

We met at work - I was just starting as a newbie and he was courting me in a very subtle manner. We started going out and got very involved with each other within a few months time.

The semi-dream state I experienced which felt like an astral attack must have happened in early or mid April - just as Venus retrograde and Chiron were conjunct in Pisces - which falls in to my first house but it is intercepted. As Mirage suggested this may be worth considering, however often times when I dream about him his presence is never positive.
Also, our Ascendants are in Aquarius - closely conjunct - within 2-3 degrees. What's curious about that is that his South Node falls there as well - which gives us a really strong link together, however it makes him a very complex persona with a serious inclination towards the astral.
I don't know if he could be an evil sorcerer but honestly he is a very negative person who always plays the victim card. He is definitely aware of the power of the mind and has told me that he often uses it to achieve things. The way he speaks about events in his life he often portrays it as if he is entitled to things and if he doesn't get what he wants/needs he wouldn't hesitate to 'cast spells' in the form of powerful mind signals and also use revenge to get back at people.

I am extremely sensitive, receptive and perceptive to others and relating with him overtime has eroded my self-esteem, has taken away my positive and energetic self, and I don't smile as much as I used to. It feels like he has been leeching off me which eventually resulted in him smiling more and enjoying life more where as I feel very weakened and like I've been robbed of myself. Even though I consciously realise he is heavily mistreating me I still feel like I miss him and want to be with him, but this attachment is unhealthy. Beneath all of that I believe what I really miss is my own self and how I used to be before getting involved with him.

At some point of our relationship things became quite grim and it felt like he held me responsible ( as usual, I've always been blamed for his mishaps and his entire life ). And speaking of Chakras, at this point I started often feeling a sharp sensation of fear in my Solar Plexus. At the time I had no idea what the hell is the meaning of this and why would I be feeling this in my stomach area without apparent cause but I now understand it's the result of astral/psychic attack or otherwise someone's highly negative feelings/thoughts towards you. Been strongly feeling these occasionally for over 2 years but they have significantly lessened in frequency.

Our Composite chart has a few aspects which strongly suggest that our minds can meet in the astral. Mercury and Uranus are conjunct, sextile to the Ascendant and Mars (in the 12th house) and square the Vertex. I have had a few visions of him - in a state of full awareness and consciousness, not sleeping or dreaming - where I receive images of things he is currently doing or has done in the past (which are relevant to me) and have also been getting a strong sense of his intentions towards me. So we definitely have a very strong astral connection and I find it very likely that he uses it to keep me hooked on to him, whether this is done with full awareness or not.
I find very little interest in other men and even if I meet someone new and attractive I feel kind of blocked towards them and lose interest rather quickly. And as soon as he makes his reappearance I totally forget about everyone else, even myself... This is definitely unusual for me, and I feel that he has gained powerful influence over me and is seriously intrusive.

I do not rule out fighting with my own self in the astral realm/dream state as I've never been so divided or imbalanced within myself due to another person. My life has been going downhill since I got involved with him, and going out with him leaves me feeling in a very weakened state, even if we are just chatting. I realise he is a very toxic person yet I find it very difficult to not want to be with him even though I know this ultimately hurts me and drains me.

As for Black Moon Lilith, she has been transiting my 9th house, conjunct my Venus then went over my MC and is now trine my Mars. I would say these recent transits awoke a strong feminine sense in me, especially where mistreatment is concerned, but I do not feel this affected me in relation to him.
It feels like he always has the upper hand and is capable of manipulating me to his benefit.
In tarot readings with regards to him the Magician card pops up very often - and this has baffled me for a while but I've come to the conclusion it would point to either manipulation, powerful (astral/psychic) influence or outright 'magic'.

I think there's a lot more than meets the eye between us and I'd like to have myself back and not feel controlled by him.
Prayers and affirmations may be very beneficial for this, thank you for suggesting these, lovely people!

IP: Logged

Ayelet
Moderator

Posts: 2650
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 05, 2017 03:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You're welcome and take care

IP: Logged

mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 9019
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted July 07, 2017 01:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I read this a few days ago, and needed some space to respond to it.

I'm glad you found some help in what we tried to say. ... Still, we're Listening.

Sounds to me like a 'past-life remembrance' that could have coincided with accidental portal openings and tugs. Strange fated meeting...

You know, ... that life is done-- you don't owe him any more, if you don't want to. You can finish this now, close out that connection. You can choose this, for you own self, for your own good.

There are some rare times where the gates and boundaries are more pourous. You could have met him during a sky pattern influenced your chart(s)-- wasn't there a time where Jupiter and Venus were involved... *flipping pages in my ephemeris* .. Ahhh yes. There was another Venus-retrograde (from Virgo to Leo, then back again), during the summer of 2015.

Jupiter and Venus conjuncted at 28/29 degrees Leo the first week of August 2015... then Mars started chasing and tagging with her?

July 16, 2015... Mars Cancer had opposed Pluto rx Capricorn close to identical degrees right now.

August 7, 2017-- There is coming a Full Moon Eclipse at 15.25 Aquarius (?your Ascendants) that could bring this issue up for review (your H12, karmic?), to help you decide what you want to do with this relationship--

Aquarius can assist you by make the decision feel as though it's from a more 'detached' position-- you'll be able to see things perhaps more logically and clearly-- considering all the facets of your life and your needs. Again, be mindful of how this has been affecting you ('toxic'?)?

Then August 21, there's a huge new moon total eclipse at 28.53 Leo... Cusp of your 7th? Mars is relatively close by it at 20+ Leo. The North Node in 24+ Leo.

You mentioned South Node Aquarius for him? He's having his nodal return.... With Leo eclipse matching his north node? How fascinating. Time of importance for him.

Anyways... I'm just throwing down some astrology here for you, since, you seem to want to understand things astrologically.
(I'm not at all expert... I'm just getting my feet wet now, trying to get some experience.)

IF you met and got tight around the time of summer 2015, when Venus-rx was conjunct Jupiter at ~29+ Leo, then expect some 'activity' around what that was for you, during this coming 28+ Leo Eclipse in 3rd week of August this year... and for the next 6 months to follow. (Effects to be strongest around ... month of ~November?)

Please use your head...
as well as your Heart.


I've seen too many battered women who fall into the pattern of knowing the relationship is bad (with head), but their Hearts just melt away all the wisdom gained. They are way too quick to forget, and to forgive. They wipe out the 'lessons' they learned, and go right back into it, heart-first (not head).

When it comes to personal safety (including emotional toxicity-- because THAT can affect your health, and even your ability to function on your job if your health is down). Use your head... and give *hugs* to your Heart for doing a Very Good thing for you-- ? (if that is what applies here, with your relationship.)

(music) Evangeline (Little Big Town) [4:33] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6R_A1X_cJI

I hope this finds you well...

Get ready for an emotional Full Moon at 17.09 Capricorn (opp Sun Cancer). PLUTO is involved, conjunct the moon. ... probably around the cusp of your 12th?

O my... maybe I bring up too much astrology--- stay with the Human!

Sending you Love, and wishing you Clarity.

(IF you be so inclined, consider getting a piece of black tourmaline, or onyx... if you're into stones. Supposed to help negate and put up a barrier to negative energies... and is grounding to people who are open telepathically.)

IP: Logged

colorful butterfly
Knowflake

Posts: 1948
From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted July 08, 2017 03:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In all honesty if you felt an overwhelming terror, ( I have had these dreams as well) probably sleep paralysis. The thing is , my daughter had it a few months after I had it. She drew the thing she saw and I looked up the image that I saw.

Their are 10 different common things seen in sleep paralysis. It creeps me out because all the millions and billions of minds in the world, how is it possible for them all to see the same thing???

IP: Logged

colorful butterfly
Knowflake

Posts: 1948
From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted July 08, 2017 03:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I used a crucifix on a necklace, pray before I go to sleep for protection. I haven't really had issues since then.

IP: Logged

outofideas
Knowflake

Posts: 496
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted July 23, 2017 04:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for outofideas     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for being so supportive once again guys!

colorful butterfly, I don't think it was sleep paralysis for me as I didn't feel trapped in my body, just felt as if my unconscious self was able to see what was going on while my conscious self and body were sleeping (perhaps in a half-awake half-asleep state).
Your sleep paralysis story sounds quite fascinating about the things being seen during sleep paralysis (even if scary at the time) and if both you and your daughter are experiencing sleep paralysis and seeing unpleasant things it must be no coincidence and perhaps you can look in to this in more detail, along with protecting yourselves through prayer?

mirage29, that's a great song, I liked it, and it does apply to my situation
As for past lives, I've no idea who might own who etc., I'm very interested in doing past life regression and maybe one day I will gain more insight into why my life is the way it is, if there are any past life consequences being worked out now.

We met in the summer of 2012 actually, I was going through pretty strong 'relationship' transits at the time. Our relationship first dissolved completely in May 2014 and we got back together for a few months in the summer of 2015, during or just past the Venus retrograde, and also Saturn had just turned RX. Anyway, in early November that year he really broke my heart and I found out some really unpleasant things about him. During those few months he made me believe that we are back to be together forever but then he acted weird, withheld affection and just kept me at arms length, then dumped me via email. At that point I had no doubt that he had only been using me for sex while pretending to be maintaining a real relationship with me.
That was the time when I got into astrology - to search for answers he wouldn't give me and to see what I could find.

Anyway, yes, the next Full Moon will be falling in my 6th-12th houses but I think this will concern my health the most.
My health has definitely been bad, whether it's really related to him or not. About 2 months ago I told him how I have been feeling with my health and he looked down exactly the same way he does when he feels guilt. Perhaps I'm not too far off when I think that he may be condemning me to hell in his mind, even though he has no real or rational reasons to.
Anyway, after sharing this with him things seem to have eased for me health-wise, coincidence?

The next New Moon may have more significance for my relationships as it does fall in to my 7th house.
My Aquarius Ascendant is at 20 degrees whereas his is at about 17. He will be having his nodal return in early December. This means our Composite Descendant will be hit by the nodal return somewhere in early November. Not sure if this will mean anything at all at this point.

What's interesting to note is that Saturn squares our Composite Ascendant/Descendant. And each time we have separated Saturn was heavily involved. First time we separated I had Saturn square my Ascendnat (2014), next time I had Saturn conjunct my Venus exact (also opposite my Moon) when he broke up with me via email, and finally, last time (early December 2016, I had just had my reversed nodal return in 7th-1st) with transiting Saturn sextile my Ascendant. 2 days before my reversed nodal return we were in a car accident. It wasn't this that separated us but rather how he handled the consequences and how he suddenly turned against me.

Anyway, indeed in this 'new age' fallacy it can be easy to forget and forgive, wiping out all lessons learned. I tend to be mindful of this and to not forget, especially when it comes to him, although I try to let go rather than seek revenge etc.
I have shifted most of my focus on to other stuff now, since the last 2 times we saw each other he let me down, he didn't keep his word about things that were quite important to me. As if...so this is also helping me detach more from him and the person I believe should have cared more for me.
I feel like I've wasted 4 years of my life hoping for this relationship to be 'the one' and my devotion has gone to waste. But looking at our Synastry and Composite charts alone it seems like it was never meant to be stable or maintained over the long haul.
A necessary evil, perhaps.

As for stones, I actually have a Dalmation stone, I believe, it's supposed to be a nice one, I should probably take it out and keep it closer to my bed maybe, apparently it brings harmony in relationships and helps health too.

Thank you very much mirage29 for the really warm words and wishes, you are so thoughtful!

IP: Logged

Ayelet
Moderator

Posts: 2650
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 23, 2017 10:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Outofideas, you are an optimistic person. Like you wrote, it may have been a necessary evil. I believe nothing is being wasted, so that was not a waste of devotion. What you give is yours.

IP: Logged

Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 90233
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 24, 2017 02:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

IP: Logged

mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 9019
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted July 24, 2017 07:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Outofideas... Thank you for your feedback and comment.

You have SOOOO much knowledge of astrology! wow! -- That makes you an even MORE valuable partner in a Relationship.

I've read over your response several times now. I ache in my Heart for the situation you find yourself in, and trying to decide what the right thing to do is.

I understand what that feeling is like-- that sense as though you've wasted your life? ... And as dear Ayelet suggests, NOTHING is ever wasted. We are 'enriched' living-out our lives every day.

You sound(read) as though you REALLY know, and have Balance and good thinking, where it comes to spiritual-bypassing? You even have the sense of knowing where your 'stop' point is (ie, not revenge).
{{*you are Gold!*}}

The 'exercise' of devotion and dedication (to one person) has built strength in your soul and personality. Got you into an even better, more mature soul. I think the Universe (God) Accepts and Receives that gift that you gave to an other, in proxy if it wasn't duly acknowledged (by the human? LOL).


Even if something appears to be a step down sometimes?, that's the Universe taking firm-hold of your ankles (Aquarius) in order to place your foot up against the starter wedge in a game, so that at the sound of GO, you'll be in even-better position.

Sometimes, when it takes a little longer?, it's (poetically) because God will shoot you out of that Cosmic Cannon much FURTHER than you could have gone or Imagined for your own self, in your own small power or little limited-vision for your life purpose.

Again, I know how hard that must be on your own self-esteem that he treats you like a 'third'... basically, you recognize it as being 'used'-- I invite you to explore that feeling inside yourself (journal). Where does that come from? Can you trace it back? That can be an unconscious pattern? Dive down into it, and release its energies. You might find treasure IN the center point after that release.

By the way--- (humor)
You deserve a Love that 'don't treat you like a ho'? ... *wink* *Heart*

Develop a FEROCIOUS innerGuard of Self-Knowing and Self-Love.. KNOW that you are Worth infinitely Much more than you think.

Soon..... You won't have to call yourself 'out of ideas' anymore?

You'll ~BE!! THE IDEA in Full. {{{{ }}}}

It's all Beauty.... all of it.

(music) This Too Shall Pass (India Arie) [5:55] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxuJ3jy0Hck

IP: Logged

colorful butterfly
Knowflake

Posts: 1948
From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted September 14, 2017 07:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I did have things like you are talking about before I had the sleep paralysis dream, something there just wasn't sure because I was sleeping.

IP: Logged

Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 90233
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 15, 2017 06:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mirage29:
Outofideas... Thank you for your feedback and comment.

You have SOOOO much knowledge of astrology! wow! -- That makes you an even MORE valuable partner in a Relationship.

I've read over your response several times now. I ache in my Heart for the situation you find yourself in, and trying to decide what the right thing to do is.

I understand what that feeling is like-- that sense as though you've wasted your life? ... And as dear Ayelet suggests, NOTHING is ever wasted. We are 'enriched' living-out our lives every day.

You sound(read) as though you REALLY know, and have Balance and good thinking, where it comes to spiritual-bypassing? You even have the sense of knowing where your 'stop' point is (ie, not revenge).
{{*you are Gold!*}}

The 'exercise' of devotion and dedication (to one person) has built strength in your soul and personality. Got you into an even better, more mature soul. I think the Universe (God) Accepts and Receives that gift that you gave to an other, in proxy if it wasn't duly acknowledged (by the human? LOL).


Even if something appears to be a step down sometimes?, that's the Universe taking firm-hold of your ankles (Aquarius) in order to place your foot up against the starter wedge in a game, so that at the sound of GO, you'll be in even-better position.

Sometimes, when it takes a little longer?, it's (poetically) because God will shoot you out of that Cosmic Cannon much FURTHER than you could have gone or Imagined for your own self, in your own small power or little limited-vision for your life purpose.

Again, I know how hard that must be on your own self-esteem that he treats you like a 'third'... basically, you recognize it as being 'used'-- I invite you to explore that feeling inside yourself (journal). Where does that come from? Can you trace it back? That can be an unconscious pattern? Dive down into it, and release its energies. You might find treasure IN the center point after that release.

By the way--- (humor)
You deserve a Love that 'don't treat you like a ho'? ... *wink* *Heart*

Develop a FEROCIOUS innerGuard of Self-Knowing and Self-Love.. KNOW that you are Worth infinitely Much more than you think.

Soon..... You won't have to call yourself 'out of ideas' anymore?

You'll ~BE!! THE IDEA in Full. {{{{ }}}}

It's all Beauty.... all of it.

(music) This Too Shall Pass (India Arie) [5:55] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxuJ3jy0Hck


IP: Logged

outofideas
Knowflake

Posts: 496
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted October 10, 2017 05:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for outofideas     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nearly 3 months later... well, I'm not sure why it took me so long to come back to this thread, I guess I shifted most of my focus to other things in attempt to distance myself from this situation and person. But this has given me time to see things from a different, clearer perspective...


Dear mirage29, thank you for your concern and support, it feels quite motherly
During the past 2-3 months I've had the chance to become more self-aware and understand things even better. I realise now why my morale and self-esteem were crushed or lost in this relationship... I have my South Node in the 7th house and what I often do in a close relationship with someone is I put them and their needs first and nearly forget about mine. I basically put faith in that they would also approach me the same way but that rarely happens. I think the deeper cause for this issue is a lack of responsibility towards myself - it's somehow easier to tend to others rather than to myself which has turned into a twisted pattern that no longer works for me.
Yes, I think self-knowing and self-love are key things for me to develop in this life time (North Node in the 1st house).
'out of ideas' is a funny name, I can just never think of a good name that I'd be satisfied with so this one came to mind when I was registering, how appropriate

As for this guy specifically, we haven't been in contact but I did see him recently, from afar, he was driving in his car, and it felt good for me to not be moved in any way by this encounter, I just laughed. Meanwhile, he has been doing something he used to do a few years ago that I suppose was/is to instill guilt in me - copying my mood messages in Skype to get my attention along with some really heavy/sad quotes that portray martyrdom, good thing is I no longer give any importance to this passive-aggressive behaviour. This used to get to me previously when I was weak and was ready to take the blame for everything but now no longer works and it's just so silly. Not to say I didn't make any errors in this relationship - I've made plenty which I'm sure contributed to how it all panned out.
I've been coming back to some of our past moments/memories and reviewing them from a neutral stance, which has made me fully realise that this relationship was never based on true love or intimacy. But I could really not see things clearly or evaluate them properly at the time, transiting Neptune squaring my Venus then Moon had a very weakening effect on me and on my relationships with people.


Dear Ayelet, 'what you give is yours' that is so well put, I believe you meant that no-one can really take what you have given from yourself, and with me used to 'giving everything away' all too readily, thinking I'll get it reciprocated...well, things get messy as I put myself in a situation where I eventually get drained but it's a tough lesson for me. Ultimately I think it's important to realise on time if you have misplaced your devotion and find better use for it.


Dear colorful butterfly, I hope you are well and not experiencing any more sleep disturbances or paralyses!


Thank you once again gals, I assume you all are, if not then thank you everyone for being so supportive and attentive to what I have been going through, it has helped me tremendously in working through it!
I think the relationship has long reached its full potential and has now outlived its purpose. It feels this way for me and I believe we won't ever be brought together for whatever reason, I think we're truly gone our separate ways.

IP: Logged

Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 90233
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 11, 2017 10:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

IP: Logged

mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 9019
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted October 11, 2017 11:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Outofideas

Thanks for your warm and detailed update.
I have a 7th House SN too. I can relate.
Take Good Care, and stay in touch.

Standing with you.
{{ }}

(music) When A Woman's Fed Up (R. Kelly) [5:23] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIciKDEA_5U

IP: Logged

outofideas
Knowflake

Posts: 496
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted October 28, 2017 07:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for outofideas     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dear Mirage29

Thank you for the musical suggestions, this R. Kelly song is very sensual.

I had a dream about this guy last night, perhaps because it's his birthday today
Anyway, in this dream I was with a group of people, it felt like we were trying to find a way out of something or escape a certain something, perhaps a monster or a natural disaster. We found ourselves sort of stuck in front of an obstacle, on the other end of the obstacle was him, he was using his flashlight to get my attention and I believe helped only myself to get across this obstacle. The dream got a bit blurry at this point but the next thing I remember more clearly is that we were outside of a big house or a mansion, he was talking something to me, it felt friendly, sort of like the 6 of cups tarot card feeling. We then headed inside and then I guess I woke up. I know the dream sounds rather positive but to me it kind of felt like he rescued me only to lure me in to his trap again

If you don't mind sharing, how has it been for you with this nodal placement and which sings does it occupy? Have you moved away from your birthplace or are the nodes still in your 1st/7th houses? Did you find most of your close relationships, if not all, were troublesome? Have you managed to balance this nodal axis, and if yes, how and also are you now in a significant relationship with someone?
I've only recently been getting the hang of this nodal placement and it is rather complex and difficult to deal with. My nodes are also in tricky signs - NN is in Pisces and SN in Virgo.

IP: Logged

mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 9019
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted October 29, 2017 12:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi! ... Acknowledging your latest posting.
I want to take some time to gather my thoughts.

Here's information I ran across about SN Virgo/NN Pisces.

- http://awkwardangelastro.wordpress.com/2013/08/08/south-node-in-virgo/

Sleep well. Replenishing dreams.

IP: Logged

outofideas
Knowflake

Posts: 496
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted October 29, 2017 09:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for outofideas     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Mirage29, I have not come across this article before so it will be interesting to read.

IP: Logged

colorful butterfly
Knowflake

Posts: 1948
From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted November 01, 2017 05:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you !!! I seem to sleep just fine but I do have a shocking dream every now and then.

IP: Logged


This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2017

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a