posted April 01, 2009 12:41 PM              

NFL using Obama's "spreading the wealth" plan

Satire:

Steelers to lose Super Bowl Trophies

Pittsburgh, PA. The Super Bowl XLIII Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, the only team to win six titles, will soon be losing half of those trophies. After a meeting between NFL Commissioner Rodger Gadel and President Barack Hussein Obama, Obama decided to Steeler Superbowlredistribute half of their Steeler Super Bowl victories and trophies to less fortunate teams in the league.

“We live everyday in the country that invented the Super Bowl.” said Obama “We are not about to lose this Great American tradition in the wake of these difficult times.” Obama’s plan calls for the Steelers, who are a successful NFL team, to give half of their Super Bowl trophies to teams that are not successful or have not been as successful as the Steelers. “The Detroit Loins are just as much a part of the same fiber of the NFL as the Steelers and they should, no rather will, be entitled to a Super Bowl Trophy as well.” Obama explains in his plan that he has imposed on Godel and the NFL.

The Pittsburgh Steelers, who by virtue of hard work, excellent team play, stellar draft choices, responsible investing of free agents, careful hiring of coaches and excellent community service and commitment to their fans, has prospered greatly during the past 30 years and have won six Super Bowl Trophies. But President Barack Hussain Obama’s plan calls for the Pittsburgh Steelers to carry the larger burden of the NFL’s less successful teams. Obama went on to further proclaim, “In these difficult times we are all in this to work together. We must reclaim the NFL Championship Dream for every team, for every city and for every fan.”

“My plan will not affect 31 of the 32 teams in the league.” Obama assures.

That’s over 95 percent of the teams in the NFL will not have to worry about loosing any Super Bowl Trophies. “The worst teams in the NFL and the teams that can’t seem to get a break and win a championship will no longer have to worry about going without a title.” Obama promises. “We are a country and league of hope. We all need to make a change. It does not matter the color of the teamsObama - helping the NFL uniforms, the personal decisions that the teams make or their performance but rather if they are a member of this great American league.”

The Super Bowl XLIII trophy will be redistributed to the 0-16 Detroit Lions. Through no fault of their own incompetence, the Lions could not manage a victory all season and this trophy will help ease the pain of their lack of performance and give them hope once again. The redistribution of Super Bowl XL trophy will go directly to the Steeler’s division rival the Cincinnati Bengals. The Bengals who also have fallen on hard times have never won a Super Bowl. This victory will bring a smile to hundreds of Bengal fans all over the world as they can now celebrate. Finally, one of the Steeler’s two Super Bowl victories over the Dallas Cowboys will go back to the Cowboys since the league needs to provide hope in the face of difficulty and provide hope in the face of uncertainty. This is a heavy burden for the Steelers but together we can all prosper.

posted April 01, 2009 03:18 PM            

Not only should Super Bowl trophies be "redistributed" to the less fortunate but President Teleprompter should intervene in franchise ownership and "redistribute" ownership to those not fortunate enough to have been able to buy an NFL team.

But, why stop there? President Teleprompter should also intervene and tell NFL franchises how much they can pay their executives, their coaches, their players and their other employees....as he has in the auto industry.

These are not times for half measures and only concerted, focused and all in redistribution measures will save America...and the world.

posted April 01, 2009 10:10 PM            

But isn't that really at the core? No one is allowed to fail. Failure is bad. Everyone should always "win". Everyone is not equal; ie, having the same intrinsic worth as a human being. No, everyone must be exactly the same. No one is smarter, no one is faster, no one is more attractive, no one is wealthier, etc.

It reminds me of something, I think a bumper sticker, I came across in my teens.

quote:

---

You are a unique and beautiful butterfly ... just like everybody else.

---

posted April 02, 2009 11:50 AM            

We must eliminate all vestiges of competition at all levels of American culture. Only when that's accomplished can it be said "Everyone is a winner in life's lottery".

posted April 02, 2009 02:42 PM              

but my real question that keeps me awake sometimes is this:

is it trade...is it too much credit...is it unions (god forbid) ...

what is the main contributer to what is happening? president teleprompter is a pawn, that is all. not much a pawn can do but be a pawn.. this avalanche started awhile ago. if we had limited trade, would we still be rich americans? if we had only traded with countries with fair labor practices would we still be in this boat? if we had demonstrated about unfair politics, if we had raised hell and questioned wall street, if we had not over inflated the whole sec internet get rich on a pipe dream band wagon, if we had what?what fell apart? you have to know what broke down prior to fixing a machine that doesn't work. youdon't put a new carborator in a truck that needs a fuel pump. so tell me this - where did it all break down.
inflated spending - yes
credit living - yes
CONTRIBUTERS
but not the be all end all of the story.
has to boil down to foreign trade policies. and APEC fleecing of our pockets...back all the way to both bush's and before.

you tell me
what happened?

i used to run a benefit program for ford motor company prior to the job i have now. we were doing a employee appreciation thing - you know, clowns, face painting- prizes, hot dogs and games for all, my table was going to give away a large stuffed amnimal by a drawing. the thing with ford was whatever, as long as it is american made. mind you this was 7 years ago. I went to at least 25 stores and could NOT find a american made stuffed animal anywhere. i had to go to a specailty store in novi that only carried american made products. that was the ONLY store where i could find an american made stuffed animal.

i have to think trade ruined us, unfair labor laws promoting poor working conditions, and we ate it up like cotton candy, so i guess that is what i think. i dont really know.

what do you think happened. what do you think will fix it?

i see no easy fix.