posted July 30, 2012 12:06 AM            

07/27/2012

Beauty in simplicity
blessing in love shared
I couldn't feel more welcome
nor breathe in sweeter air

Refuge of my spirit
Brought full circle in recline
Unburdened mind now ambles,
softly smooth, unwinds

****************

Seeing his face again today
all doubts were answered clear
Memories were untampered with
and forever I'll hold him dear

So few open eyes back then,
even fewer ones who cared,
Only one stood up to "them"
a pure-hearted boy who dared

****************

(song)

Bring this now away from me
Find the strength now that I need
Let me in that secret path
Where I find the way to fall

Fall, Fall, Fall
Where does it lead?
A whole new situation,
I'm lost, but oh so free

****************
07/28/2012

(This one is about a guy I've known forever, since 5th grade, who I am trying to figure the whole friends thing out with, only confusing on my end, I'm sure. Of course, the past is more complicated, but I'll tell that tale later.)
----
I have to trust the Flow
There can be no force of the hand
I wouldn't respect myself anymore
if I acted like a fool

How does one navigate this,
find time to speak as friends do?
There's a whole new set of rules for me,
and I'd like to get a clue

Can I chatter with enthusiasm,
let my voice show I'm glad to be here?
When my eyes light up, is that way too much,
an excess of friendly cheer?

I don't do this guy-friend thing well,
other trial runs were epic fails,
I care too much, or send mixed signals,
and mutual comfort goes up in flames

Resolving to make this one different,
stay myself with rational restraint
I'd love nothing more than to relax and enjoy
a kindred soul who's spanned the years

****************

Less frozen speech,
less cluttered mind,
I'll take what I can
as the phase now completes,
and emerge with my own new brand

Reality brings a dawning starkness,
caught in nostalgia's web
Until you purge old patterns,
old wishes can't be dead

Those moments froze in yesteryear
pierce your vein with mock regret
The blood that's spilt
on the sandy ground
it's the closest absolution you'll get

****************

I never actually had him
it was only ever in my head
Some part of me feels foolish
I used to imagine he and I had a shot

He never wanted my attention
he never complimented my looks
He never ventured closer
He only noticed my sketchbooks

It makes me sad sometimes
but I've shed enough wasted tears
I couldn't make him see my inner self
but he would have rejected me anyways

****************

It's so much easier, to write people off
when they are reclusive, addicted or weak
There's a greater sense of closure
when you couldn't or wouldn't fit their scene

Since you were my obsession,
and I know you're cool and sane,
I still feel a thin connection
a friendly vibe and impulse remains

****************

Can I grieve for the unknowns,
all that illusions never come to pass?
Awkward moments of discomfort,
delusions that couldn't last?

Traces are all that linger
past the rational mind's "last call",
Fragments you keep reburying,
Shards of a castle so tall

You built them a lofty palace
those daydreams oh so sweet
Never mind the fragile base
where heaven and sky do meet

****************

I'm lucky to have a partner
who truly understands the root of my scars
He has first-hand knowledge
of the loss that hits so hard

We both have been abandoned,
left alone by those who should care
He knows the void can't be filled
and it comforts us both to be able to share

07/29/2012

(song)

Why am I here,
Why am I there,
Why do I still follow...

Why am I here,
Why am I there,
Why do I still follow you?

Oh, those many years ago
back when it all began
they were such simple actions
from a stand-up kind of man

That man was just a boy back then
witha heart as bright as gold
He saw the others torment me
watched their cutting words unfold

(song above is not a finished song yet)

****************
(dedicated to the over-friendly strangers out there)

As a woman,
can I never trust,
the kindness of a man?

Must there always be an agenda,
a perceived debt,
a deviousness of hand?

I hate to live my life this way,
skeptical and paranoid
There is no way around this game,
unless I act evasive and annoyed...

****************

You say you've known me since middle school
And while that statement's true
In so many ways we're strangers
out contacts sporadic and out of the blue

We haven't ever talked for more than five minutes
never sat down face to face
In sixteen years, all we've learned of each other
comes from classrooms or Facebook posts

I know you enough to think well of you
A sincere good-hearted man through and through
You know enough of me to vouch for my dedication,
I keep my promises strong as glue

****************

We finally talk and it blows my mind
joy wells up in my throat
I see in you what I always knew
and it's such a blessing true

posted October 24, 2012 11:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Why did you choose that number of asterisks?

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posted October 24, 2012 11:23 PM            

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posted November 11, 2012 11:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
They were very Goober-esque.

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WOW, that is quite a compliment, Randall

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