posted December 16, 2017 01:24 AM            

When I feel your presence so near
The signs they seem to be clear
Yet I pretend to be so far
In the search of distant stars
Oh and I wanna talk to you
Cause you don’t really have a clue
I wanna love you, love you
But I’m bound for the blues
And I want to cut you loose
And start again, once again
The same old tale of pain
See me how I turn insane

posted December 17, 2017 10:01 AM            

Anyway, in these past three days I've been dreaming constantly of her. Normally, I thought dreams send me signs about what's happening in my life at certain times, mostly when things are ending. But this is the first time that I'm being sent mixed signs with dreams, between "do it brother" and "quit before things get slippery".

And she's back in town, and did another white lie to this story... I got the bob dylan's autobiography for her as a Christmas gift, I told her that it was for the house she's living... I shied once again, I don't let these feeling to go out when people are around us, it's stupid what I do, the fears took me completely... The interesting thing is... she DOESN'T HAVE A DAMN CLUE what are really my feelings.

posted December 17, 2017 07:17 PM            

I Understand not being able to put the right words together to Express one's feelings. Such a Mystery. A DEEP one.

I think I know what you are referring to, when you say dreams--- and the mixed inner-messages you poetically feel inside yourself.

Shyness, and instant-deflections... yep. Just ~BITES. Really.

At least though... you seem to have such a SOLID understanding of how that operates with you. Some people never do.

Bob Dylan's autobiography, eh?? Wow.
Well... If she'll read it, she can understand a whole lot more about the inner-you.

Keep up the Good Work you've been doing.
Give self a MOUNTAIN of CREDIT.
*Just as you are*

May ALL your Dreams Come into Perfect Alignment,
and
Produce GOOD, Multiplying and LASTING Fruits, for all your Lifetime.

May your Musical Muse Experience and Bring you Blessings you never expected.

(music) Forever Young (Bob Dylan & The Band, 'A Tribute To Bob Dylan') [6:22] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1fSVbBwVX8

posted December 17, 2017 08:16 PM            

Mirage: The book was meant for her, not for the house, I shied out when our friend asked about it. But she took the book with her, cause she wanted so badly to read it, the smile on her face was priceless. She even calls me the paraguayan Bob Dylan, haha. The only truth is that even with my ******** our friendship is still intact, that's one of the reasons I'm keeping it all to myself.

Something that I've been reflecting is that all of these past dreams are telling me that I must take action for what I want, not in a selfish way, but to give myself a chance to be more open and straightforward with my feelings, it's way more better for the soul than to keep it to oneself and implode. I believe it's imperative for my growing, to be able to express myself beyond the arts. I'm a human being, with many good things to offer, and I can't be how I am anymore, I want to give myself the opportunity to experience life, to finally have the power to say that I have the power to be the captain of my destiny and live the way i want to. With all that entail, the victories, the failures, the ups, downs, the yeah's, the no's, etc.

It's time for a major change, it's time for me to step up and live my life to the fullest.

Thank you as always for the encouragement and the music.

EDIT: I'm going to share a picture a friend gave me of the two of us earlier this year, when things were at its best, I'll post it for a few days

posted December 18, 2017 02:08 AM            

What you said reminded me of this song...

posted December 20, 2017 07:19 PM            

Found this info today....

I'm quoting ....

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Next week’s edition will be published on Christmas Eve, and will be a music-focused show featuring a retrospective of Bob Dylan, presenting his work up to 2017.

I’ve designed a program that takes you off the beaten path of his popular work; maybe you’ll recognize two or three songs, unless you’re a serious fan. But I promise you’ll love what you hear.

The result is a guided tour of some magnificent songwriting, musicianship and American musical history that will open doors in your mind.
We’ll check in with Bob’s telling of the Billy the Kid story, hear a glorious rendition of the American traditional “Shenandoah,” sample some of his best work from the Christian era, and hear selections from Bob’s 2017 album, Triplicate.

Lisa Finnie, host of *The Bob Dylan Hours, helped me make selections from Bob’s work in the 21st century.

* - http://www.facebook.com/The-Dylan-Hours-radio-show-182037818503947/

Enjoy the show, and thanks for tuning in.
<Eric Francis>

Eric Francis has the most 'SUPERB' tastes in some music genres.

You can catch his program in link below.
After the date, you can go back to see it archived.

Here is the link (Dec 20) with the announcement (for Dec 24 show) --
- http://planetwaves.fm/interview-with-rachel-marco-havens/
www.planetwaves.fm ... for current shows and past.

On that last url...
If you scroll all the way down the e-page, you might see the program he had on 'The Grateful Dead' ... if you're interested.
(If you don't see it ON the page, follow the instructions on looking for back-broadcasts.)

posted February 19, 2018 03:26 PM            

It will change signs mid April. That may help make things feel less "blue".

Here's something I read in one of the newsletters I subscribe to-- Thought of you.

Pisces on the cusp of the First House:
When Pisces is on the Ascendant of the chart, it indicates an extremely impressionable and sensitive nature.
This is an individual who is drawn to environments that provide a constant source of emotional stimulation.
It is in such circumstances that these individuals may express themselves through the many creative avenues that are natural to them, freely producing art, music, dance and theater.
Yet not all people with the Fish rising have found a focus for these impulses for the waters of the Fish also may lead to diffusion of intent.
Many people with Pisces rising are so sensitive that they must find a place of people and solitude into which that may periodically withdraw and “ring out the sponge” of what they have emotionally absorbed.
Many Pisces rising people become mystics and healers as their ability to identify with all and everything gives them a distinctly universal nature.
Yet many rising Fish swim downstream.
It is then that the dangers of addictions and self-destructive behavior appear and threaten the same universality that is the higher ambition of this sign.
--
quote REF Alan Oken, {esoteric astrology}
the article on Pisces cusps/houses, entitled--
PISCES ON THE HOUSE CUSPS: DOORS OF LIBERATION OR CELLS OF IMPRISONMENT
- http://www.alanoken.com/newsletter-3/#collapse-feb18

~*...

I've noticed that the Eclipse (Feb 15) was close to your Moon Aquarius-- I see other transit house-changes.

How are you doing? ..
I remember the first time (last year) when tChiron touched your Ascendant, you had been going through difficulty.

How's your health doing? (physical and emo)

You still planning on doing some music school classes (theory, etc)?

posted February 19, 2018 08:09 PM            

Physically good.

Yes, I'm starting to practice music again to make it for the tryouts to the School of music here...

I've just had a difficult row with a Leo woman, a very flaming affair that burned me fast, but that made me think how I haven't improved that much in the love district, and I'm reflecting about many other things of my life, I'll maybe speak about it soon here I guess.