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Author
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Topic: Empaths: How to stop from getting overwhelmed by other people's feelings?
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Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 1414
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted June 11, 2014 05:45 AM
  
Hi guysI just recently discovered I have empathic abilities a few months ago. The first time I had somewhat of an anxiety attack was because of my friend who had it at the same time. I was feeling exactly how he felt at the moment and I didn't know at the time what was wrong with me. Now, I am aware that I am feeling someone else's emotions. My friend got bullied yesterday by a bunch of kids in school and I saw the whole thing. I just froze there, unable to do anything because I was too scared of everybody. I felt like I was the one being attacked, yet it was far from that. This girl called my friend a gremlin and it felt like she was saying it to me. Ever since that incident, I've been feeling really anxious and terrified of everything. My friend told me she was scared she might get picked on more after that and oddly enough, I felt the same thing except it was me instead of her. I have been really upset for the past few hours and it wasn't even my problem to deal with. I'd really love for some help on this. I want to be there for my friend, but I just can't feel the exact same way she does. I hate feeling like this. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you. IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4099
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 11, 2014 11:05 PM
If emapths want to help they must realize feeling the emotions, emotionally makes it impossible to help someone.
You can feel the emotions and allow yourself to intellectually process what your feeling in others without emotionally feeling the emotions.
Think of it like what happens when your in an emergency situation and instead of freaking out something kicks in and you stay in control, unemotional and rational. Because of that your able to do what needs to be done and make the situation better.
This is the same thing that you need to put into practice when you feel others emotions and need your help, of you fall apart as they are falling apart you can't help to pull them through.IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted June 11, 2014 11:33 PM
^ No, don't intellectualize emotions, you'll have problems feeling your own emotions in the long run if you do so.@Solar Meditate, it will ground your energy. You won't stop feeling their emotions, but you will feel it and it will pass. You won't get stuck with them. Don't let people drain you with their sadness all the time. Empaths usually attract people who like to tell their sad stories all the time. Tell them to sort out their mess on their own, if you have to. Remember, you owe them nothing. Try not to cling onto your emotions, happy or sad. Feel it and let it pass. Try to maintain high level of physical energy, I've noticed that I absorb a lot and get overwhelmed when my physical energy is low. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 4793
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 11, 2014 11:59 PM
I know one empath who practices aura strengthening techniques, and as an emergency measure will exert his will to turn his aura into a "mirror of steel" that both reflects the outside energy away as well as prevent him from absorbing it. It helps him, though even so he still has to retreat from most people much of the time, only able to handle society outside a few friends in small doses. All the same, at least he got a handle on it enough that he's not a drug addict anymore trying to drown out the pain of the world seeping into him. I know he liked taking a bath sometimes with a bit of pine oil & salt and willing all that he absorbed into the water and down the drain leaving him in peace. He'd meditate on the beach as well to project all the pain and energy he absorbed into the ocean, praying to be relieved of it. Saunas helped him, too (he had some herbs and oils he liked to mix with that as well), but one problem he has is that to use a sauna with strangers can be draining (even if others don't actually use the sauna with him, he's still surrounded by a lot of people at the gym as well as the trip there and back). He used to have some hippie neighbors he got along with who had a sauna that he could use and it helped him detox a lot...probably for mostly physical reasons as absorbing the emotions of those around him produced stress hormones and the toxins that build up when they're not worked out and the sauna (and exercise) helped him work it out of his system. But maybe the oils and herbs he liked to use (don't recall what they were) also helped as well. IP: Logged |
SDragon
Moderator Posts: 318
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 12, 2014 11:49 AM
Agree with don't intellectualize the emotion. But mentally understanding the emotion is different from intellectualizing, so there's a distinction. Meditation is the first step because you need to have a strong sense of your inner energy before you can truly sense when what you're picking up is your own or someone else's.It took me until my 30's before I could handle the energy and learn about what works and doesn't for me. My late teen and early twenties were a nightmare I would say but we grow from the experience. Shying away from these 'gifts' aren't the answer. IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4099
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 13, 2014 11:13 AM
I'm not saying to intellectualize your emotions...I'm saying to not adopt others emotions as your own...you cannot take them and act on them as in the same way you would if they were your own emotions or else they will overwhelm you.
I've had this ability since I was a child, it hurt me much of my life and made me scared of using it until I learned how to separate myself and my emotions from others, once you can do that your better able to help without going down the painful path of feeling everything and getting overwhelmed. That's only logical! But I guess if your emapth working through a water sign...you might feel different, I'm an empath working through an unaspected virgo moon in my 12th house....so if I don't intellectualize I drowned in the emotions.I do agree that meditation and building up your personal strength, getting to know yourself helps so that your more able to discern what is you and what is another's emotions. I stand by what I said...I think it depends on the empath as to what works well for them, you cannot say don't do this or do this as if it's the same for everyone because we are all different and our abilities come through in different ways. I'm sorry in advance, transit mars is on my Pluto and just crossed my AC so it easy to upset me right now...
BUT
I think it's rude when ppl just blanketly say "no" to someone's response about these things! It's not smart to think you know the right way to do something when there is numerous ways to do it. Not everyone is alike and if something serves one well but doesn't serve another doesn't make it wrong, it just makes it different. It makes it unique to the person and it just might work for another so to shut it down as if it's wrong only makes ppl appear ignorant, even when they are not. IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted June 14, 2014 12:03 AM
^ If it works for you, fine, do it. quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
I’m sorry in advance, transit Mars is on my Pluto, and just crossed my AC so it easy to upset me right now...
Intellectualization of anger, I see. IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4099
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 14, 2014 07:05 PM
Lol....yep, I didn't think of that but i guess I'm demonstrating that virgo moon intellectualizing my emotions right there! Good call!
I don't get upset when I allow myself to see my emotions in real time, then express them in a way that's not out of control but still validates my feelings. It takes enough of the sting out of anger and pain that I can handle them without the drama, plus it allows the emotions to pass much quicker.
I had to learn this, now I teach other ppl how to do the same thing so they are not dragged through the mud by their emotions. If you help them learn to see, feel and examine their emotions eventually they will be strong enough to see which emotions are really theirs, meant to be a benefit to them and which are knee jerk reactions to pain and hurt they endured but couldn't deal with so they pushed it down. If they can see it they can change patterns that are not serving them well anymore or potentially hurting them. As an empath personally I believe the kindest thing you can do for someone is to teach them to see their emotions and try to get to the core of them....because healing can't happen if your only dealing with a symptom of the problem and not the problem itself. Since we can't be there for their every emotion, to help them deal, we should at least teach them how they can step outside themselves for a second, look for the deeper issue and try to heal it instead of just put a temporary band aid on it until it explodes again.
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FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1893
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted July 09, 2014 01:44 AM
^I think what you're describing is more about psychic abilities (which includes the ability to recognize other's moods at the time) than being an empath- which yes is literally feeling someone's every emotion whether it makes sense objectively or not..I'd much prefer to stick to the "psychic" aspects of it but have been dealing with the empath thing since my Neptune transit began so just thought I'd bump this thread... Is there really a way to help people though without intellectualizing or detaching emotionally? Not that I even want to help necessarily but sometimes it seems like that's the only option? Cause it can get bad otherwise (edit lol I don't want to come off as overly dramatic, but seriously...)
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Lindaland
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