posted June 29, 2017 09:45 PM            

Tonight i was reading about asteroids in here, have been reading about Circe, checked where it was in my chart, found it was conjunct exact my sun, was so happy like "oh, this is really cool".

I then decided that i could meditate, try to reach someone that is bugging me. (basically, i am attracted to him, i think he is too but dont do anything concrete. so i wanted to tell him to let me go, or if he wants me he could just tell me. my guess is he is very scared because he senses i could reach his soul as he could reach mine. we have a "friendship", except the bugging part things are okay)

Filled the bathtub with warm water, lighted up a candle.

Washed myself, i dont know why, just thought it was a good idea.

Laid down, closed my eyes and focused on my breathing in order to relax..

For a while i saw "nothing", then i saw an eye with different views, thought it was a good thing (3rd eye ?)

Then called the someone, asking him to leave me alone. there was some black blured stuff that was leaving me, it took a while actually. some of them didnt want to leave, i was feeling calm telling them to go away and they were..
A thing (like a Gollum) tried to "come" but i pushed it, and it went away.

I called my inner child, wanted to tell her things are okay, saw it, told her things were okay

Things were okay, so i opened my eyes, took my candle and tried to feel the light and warmth.
I was thinking things like "i send you (my inner child) warmth and light so you're feeling nice and safe" and then i thought that i could send warmth and light to the someone's innner child to make him more secure so he wouldnt have to project his fears on me and then it would be easier for me not to be affected by him.
So i started my sentence, "i send warmth and light to X so.." and then the nice mood that was in my mind stopped and a thing (same form as a human), carbon black (blacker than black), with white shinning eyes, surrounded by flames (big flames) was starring at me.

It shocked me and woke me up ! I wanted to go back to understand but i couldnt..
So i decided to leave the bathtub, thanked the candle (i dont know why) and blew it off.

And called my best friend to talk about all this.
She think the demon is a part of me, i dont know what to think ? did i reached the guy and saw his soul /fears ? or did i reach what my unconscious thinks about him ? or did i reach my own fears ? or ???

posted June 30, 2017 02:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:

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posted June 30, 2017 05:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
Probably a part of you, or just a memory. I would say the chances of it being your imagination or just a memory is far higher, because you've meditated only once so far and it takes a bit of time to reach the depths of the unconscious. I would not worry much about it, just don't pay attention to it and the demon will disappear on it's own *poof* .

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Thank you for your time

I honnestly cannot think it could be memories, i mean, i never met a demon in real life .. (weel, i met ****** up people but they looked like human ^^)

My first thought was: his soul is angry like "oh you wanna cut the ties ? how dare you ! ok, let's cut the ties and dont pretend you care by sending me nice feelings"
His inner child was small, white-ish, alone, in a hole in the dark. while mine was tall, healthy with nice hair so i was really feeling bad for that poor kid ..
The demon was just a body with a head. and eyes (with pupils), no mouth, hair, ears, nose.. so it wasnt a proper demon, more like a lost soul ?

I cannot say i wasnt my imagination.. i have a very rich imagination, have always had, my dreams are so messed up people tell me "how can your brain think about things like that?"
And i guess it was my imagination, i was leading it, but my brain was doing the rest.

I already went to my unconscious with ericksonian hypnosis and it was not that hard, i know it worked because i had amazing results with one appointement
The same happened here, i havent been thinkin about the someone today! well, i did think about him, telling myself "oh that's weird, you haven't been thinking about him" telling myself i should be thinking about him, missing him but i couldnt feel all this (like when you break your arm, you pay attention to this, try not no move fast, you adapt and one day you do something that should hurt so you're hurt but strangely you dont feel anything anymore )
I remembered today that when i went bed, i was trying to fall asleep and i saw a pile of papers, i wanted to read what was written and all i could read was "it's over"

So maybe all of my questionnings dont matter and maybe its just over, i cut the ties and that's great !

I stil have one more question. what if the demon is my shadow ? if i dont pay attention to it it means i dont pay attention to a part of me right ? it maybe have somehting to tell me ? am i not supposed to know and accept all of me ?
And you know, i know i wasnt asleep because i just opened my eyes to take the candle, i was handling it well meaning i was conscious, it was ME that was thinking about sending warmth, and that wanst ME that did ask for the demoniac vision, that's why its bugging me. why would my shadow stop the process, while i was almost done ? why would my imagination stop the process while i was fully conscious ?
And what's really weird is that i tried a few times to do this while lying in my bed, but it failed all the time. why did it work so well last night ? was it me or the place or ?

Oh, i forgot, am i supposed to tie myself to something before meditating? I read about grounding feet on earth ... (yeah, i admit i got so scared that something evil would have connected with me while i was "open" that i have been reading about shields etc on the internet today, i started with cleaning the house with incense and my cristal carillon .. ^^)
Was the water too much ? i mean i would have had a cat i would have taken the cat with me (even tho i dont think it would have been so happy )

posted June 30, 2017 11:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Zhooey:
Hey

I then decided that i could meditate, try to reach someone that is bugging me. (basically, i am attracted to him, i think he is too but dont do anything concrete. so i wanted to tell him to let me go, or if he wants me he could just tell me. my guess is he is very scared because he senses i could reach his soul as he could reach mine. we have a "friendship", except the bugging part things are okay)

Filled the bathtub with warm water, lighted up a candle.

Washed myself, i dont know why, just thought it was a good idea.

Laid down, closed my eyes and focused on my breathing in order to relax..

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Seriously; until you have his permission;
do not try to contact him like that again.
It is unkind and a personal invasion and a form of psychic attack even if you meant it with love and kindness.
Additionally what you were trying to do does not sound like meditation; but instead either astral projection or remote viewing.
Those three things are not the same thing.

posted July 01, 2017 06:00 PM            

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:

I do not think you encountered a demon.
I think you were trying to do a connection and without the permission of the person you were trying to contact.
Some people especially if shy or private' do have strong psychic shields to warn away people trying to invade their minds or souls.
You did not have his permission.
That could cause a person who feels they are being psychically touched; to throw up a mirror and make the sender see whatever might scare the sender away. The faceless no body forms with only eyes is a common defense pattern. The sender adds to that by projecting their own subconscious perceptions into what they think they saw; ie; you the uninvited sender thought it was a demon.

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First of all, i really had no idea that was wrong. I mean, i wanted to free myself, i had no bad intentions. I have tried to free myself with rationnal thoughts but i just couldn't. Its been a year now and i couldn't keep living like that, i was feeling miserable, didnt know what he wanted (he doesnt want to seriously talk..) I was at a point were i was telling myself he had casted a spell on me .. (i know this sounds ridiculous, but why not ? ive never felt so "caught" )
When i saw Circe was conjunct my sun i felt empowered and thought that i just should cut the ties..
But i didnt want to hurt him or .. I just wanted to tell him i couldn't bare this situation anymore..

I understand the defense shield but then it really gets weird, it would mean i DID reach his soul / mind ?

quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
Also you were naked I assume.
Whether you realize it or not the kind of meditation you were doing and focused on some guy; and naked too; will set up all kinds of strong projections of emotion and even images. He may not want that and you did not have his permission.
One should never do such contacting without the recipient's permission and knowledge of when contact will be tried.
Additionally I wonder how much may have been fueled by your desire for him; desire he has not reciprocated; that could have set off a kind of Kundalini effect.
Or perhaps you were subconsciously sending him sexual vibes and strong desire which could cause him to try and reject you subconsciously if he is not interested in you sexually.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kundalini

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Yes well, i was taking a bath, so yes i was naked .. my intentions were not to be naked, but i thought water would help to conduct the energy ...
I understand it sounds a bit weird, i have to say that i know it happened but i "can't believe" it happened. Then, i understand that i maybe sent something he didnt want to know / see.. and im sorry, that was not my intentions ..
How am i supposed to cut the ties if i dont send them back ?

I read about the Kundalini effect, which is kinda creeepy, but i dont think it happened (well, i didnt feel anything ..)
I have had desires yes, but i didnt want them anymore.. I was thinking "that's really too bad, but if he doesnt want well, that's okay. i just need to gather myself and leave"
Would you like to developpe about all this please ? did i send something i didnt mean to send ?

quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:

Seriously; until you have his permission;
do not try to contact him like that again.
It is unkind and a personal invasion and a form of psychic attack even if you meant it with love and kindness.
Additionally what you were trying to do does not sound like meditation; but instead either astral projection or remote viewing.
Those three things are not the same thing.

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Yes, i said "meditation" because i didnt know what happened, how it's called .
I understand and again, i feel sorry, i thought it was a grand idea because i wanted to free myself, i didnt know what to do anymore and had no bad intentions, really .. I thought that i should talk to his soul if his conscious didnt want to have a serious talk (for whatever reason, i doesnt really matter in the end ..)

How do you know if you have the permission and when it is a good time to do this ?
What is "remote viewing" please ? i looked on yhe internet but i dont really understand ..

posted July 01, 2017 09:24 PM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
Thanks, LEXX.

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Randall you're such a good moderator!Bumping threads, being here .. Thank you for that

posted July 01, 2017 11:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
that could have set off a kind of Kundalini effect.

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I said i have felt nothing, and this is true.
But, i was with my half, we just had a "moment" (which ended great, i guess this information is important) and now i feel really weird, something warm grows up down there and goes up, its really warm and im litterally shaking

Is it possible that what i just had with my half "released" something ?
I have to say that im scared

I decided to behave like it was birth labor, stay calm, knowing that the wave will pass, but its really unpleasant.
What do you think ? what can i do ?

posted July 02, 2017 01:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Thanks, LEXX.

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posted July 02, 2017 01:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Zhooey:

I said i have felt nothing, and this is true.
But, i was with my half, we just had a "moment" (which ended great, i guess this information is important) and now i feel really weird, something warm grows up down there and goes up, its really warm and im litterally shaking

Is it possible that what i just had with my half "released" something ?
I have to say that im scared

I decided to behave like it was birth labor, stay calm, knowing that the wave will pass, but its really unpleasant.
What do you think ? what can i do ?

(oh my god i feel so stupid you know )

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As to what you said about
"your half"....
exactly what do mean?
Andplease could you elaborate here:
You said:

quote:

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and now i feel really weird, something warm grows up down there and goes up, its really warm and im litterally shaking

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posted July 02, 2017 02:54 AM            

I really like my half, we make a good team, he is handsome and kind. we have 2 kids together
That is why i wanted to cut the ties with the someone, i didnt want this above to change..
The someone is single, we are more like "pals"? im not sure of the term (english is not my first langage..) but we are definitely not best friend, he doesnt communicate and shuts himself when i get too close .. i know we have some karmic **** to deal with, i wanted to deal with because it wouldnt have been fixed, its better right ? but for 2 monthes now i have wanted to stop my "obsession" because i understood he wouldnt want to open and then it wasnt worth it. but i couldnt. that's why i decided to cut the ties and tell him goodbye like that .. I needed a closure..

i feel, i dont know, we had sex with my half and i had an orgasm that was grand. i didnt pay attention it happens often.
And after, while falling asleep, something in my throat, like when you're angry whith ericksonian hypnosis, and warmth from my "butt / chakra / sex / lower hips" its like a fog it doesnt have boudaries and i opened my eyes like "oh? what is this ?" and it went up my head. i was boiling and i could feel energy moving like when i go to see my acupuncturist form the two sides of my head.

i went out, putting my feet and hand on the earth, saying i didnt want any of this, that i was sorry but i never asked for something like that. but it was cold outside so i didnt stay long.
Then i went here to write because i was really freaked out and then went back to my bed.
I decided to ground myself with many root from my feet to the mattress, lying on my back, in order to feel "aligned", breathing slowly and it cooled ..
I fell asleep 4 hours ago and woke up because i wanted to change my position while sleeping, thinking it was over.
I have felt 4-5 "rushes", but no shaking and no no boiling this morning. I try to feel my "feet roots" ...

Oh, it was unpleasant, overwhelming. i guess the warmth on the "butt hip" could be nice, but its scary and i'm not sure i want feel this.

I have a black obsedian stone bracelet that i got yesterday, i was looking for a sun stone to protect myself but the women kept asking me "be more specific or i cant help you" but there was people in the store and i fell shy.. and she gave me this, saying i had jealousy around me. it was weird because i felt attracted by the black obsedian when i walked next to them so i said ok.

Yes i know its a lot and im sorry because its sunday morning, i cant call my acupuncturist who could do something..
I know a magnetizer (for fire), could he help ?
I just want to sleep, i couldnt sleep since the other day because i was scared and tonight, i was feeling better, i burned white sage to clean the house, had my bracelet but this happened ..

posted July 02, 2017 03:43 AM            

That demon might be your shadow side, yes, just a symbolic representation of it. Yeah, accept it. Don't force yourself to accept it though, what you can do is simply let yourself feel all kinds of emotions and face all kinds of thoughts that come in your mind when you remember the demon, just let them pass. At the beginning, it will be difficult, but after you get a bit comfortable with the process, you might even enjoy it, personally I find it very adventurous. (NOTE: Practice this only after those effects of energy moving here and there subside)
That thing about your shadow stopping the process, sometimes what appears on the surface as one thing is completely different when we go deeper, not just sometimes, actually most of the times. Now this is just a possibility, but maybe deep down at the unconscious level you don't want to cut the ties, that's why your shadow( representing your unconscious in this case) might have stopped the process.
Rather than using this technique which sounds like some etheric technique to cut ties with him, it'd be better if you use hynosis to find out whether you want to cut ties or not deep down.

posted July 02, 2017 04:36 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
^ That sounds like Kundalini. If it is, you are going to have to be very cautious with it. From what I've read, if it rises when the person is not prepared for it, it can be very dangerous to the person, the shock would be too much to handle. A safe way would to be open chakras step by step, starting from the bottom. Otherwise it will be like a building without a strong base, sooner or later it will collapse, result in schizophrenia and what not.
If you are not interested in it, it would be better to leave it alone. It seems like you've stumbled across some energy which was lying dormant.

That demon might be your shadow side, yes, just a symbolic representation of it. Yeah, accept it. Don't force yourself to accept it though, what you can do is simply let yourself feel all kinds of emotions and face all kinds of thoughts that come in your mind when you remember the demon, just let them pass. At the beginning, it will be difficult, but after you get a bit comfortable with the process, you might even enjoy it, personally I find it very adventurous. (NOTE: Practice this only after those effects of energy moving here and there subside)
That thing about your shadow stopping the process, sometimes what appears on the surface as one thing is completely different when we go deeper, not just sometimes, actually most of the times. Now this is just a possibility, but maybe deep down at the unconscious level you don't want to cut the ties, that's why your shadow( representing your unconscious in this case) might have stopped the process.
Rather than using this technique which sounds like some etheric technique to cut ties with him, it'd be better if you use hynosis to find out whether you want to cut ties or not deep down.

I haven't read the whole thing yet.

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Yes, i read that all over the internet, why do you think i am so scared ? Plus the feeling is huge
And yes, i dont want this, this is too much. I dont want this responsability ..

Im supposed to take my family on vacation tonight, in a foreign contry, for 2 weeks, with no acces to internet..
I hope this is going to fade because im going to feel alone if i doesnt..

posted July 02, 2017 09:36 AM            

I called the magnetizer that i know, i just came home and he made mind empty and cleaned it. Well we made my mind empty and we cleaned it, and then we closed it...
I feel in peace

I will leave in a few hours to go on vacations, i think i'm going to be okay

posted July 02, 2017 12:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
Enjoy your vacation!

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posted July 02, 2017 02:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
^ That sounds like Kundalini. If it is, you are going to have to be very cautious with it. From what I've read, if it rises when the person is not prepared for it, it can be very dangerous to the person, the shock would be too much to handle. A safe way would to be open chakras step by step, starting from the bottom. Otherwise it will be like a building without a strong base, sooner or later it will collapse, resulting in schizophrenia and what not.
If you are not interested in it, it would be better to leave it alone. It seems like you've stumbled across some energy which was lying dormant.

That demon might be your shadow side, yes, just a symbolic representation of it. Yeah, accept it. Don't force yourself to accept it though, what you can do is simply let yourself feel all kinds of emotions and face all kinds of thoughts that come in your mind when you remember the demon, just let them pass. At the beginning, it will be difficult, but after you get a bit comfortable with the process, you might even enjoy it, personally I find it very adventurous. (NOTE: Practice this only after those effects of energy moving here and there subside)
That thing about your shadow stopping the process, sometimes what appears on the surface as one thing is completely different when we go deeper, not just sometimes, actually most of the times. Now this is just a possibility, but maybe deep down at the unconscious level you don't want to cut the ties, that's why your shadow( representing your unconscious in this case) might have stopped the process.
Rather than using this technique which sounds like some etheric technique to cut ties with him, it'd be better if you use hynosis to find out whether you want to cut ties or not deep down.

I haven't read the whole thing yet.

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posted July 02, 2017 02:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
^ That sounds like Kundalini. If it is, you are going to have to be very cautious with it. From what I've read, if it rises when the person is not prepared for it, it can be very dangerous to the person, the shock would be too much to handle. A safe way would to be open chakras step by step, starting from the bottom. Otherwise it will be like a building without a strong base, sooner or later it will collapse, resulting in schizophrenia and what not.
If you are not interested in it, it would be better to leave it alone. It seems like you've stumbled across some energy which was lying dormant.

That demon might be your shadow side, yes, just a symbolic representation of it. Yeah, accept it. Don't force yourself to accept it though, what you can do is simply let yourself feel all kinds of emotions and face all kinds of thoughts that come in your mind when you remember the demon, just let them pass. At the beginning, it will be difficult, but after you get a bit comfortable with the process, you might even enjoy it, personally I find it very adventurous. (NOTE: Practice this only after those effects of energy moving here and there subside)
That thing about your shadow stopping the process, sometimes what appears on the surface as one thing is completely different when we go deeper, not just sometimes, actually most of the times. Now this is just a possibility, but maybe deep down at the unconscious level you don't want to cut the ties, that's why your shadow( representing your unconscious in this case) might have stopped the process.
Rather than using this technique which sounds like some etheric technique to cut ties with him, it'd be better if you use hynosis to find out whether you want to cut ties or not deep down.

I haven't read the whole thing yet.

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posted July 02, 2017 03:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Zhooey:

Yes, i read that all over the internet, why do you think i am so scared ? Plus the feeling is huge
And yes, i dont want this, this is too much. I dont want this responsability ..

Im supposed to take my family on vacation tonight, in a foreign contry, for 2 weeks, with no acces to internet..
I hope this is going to fade because im going to feel alone if i doesnt..

And im never going to take a bath again, trust me ^^

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Oh by the way!
DO NOT STOP TAKING BATHS! I hope you were kidding about never bathing again!
Or take them with the man you are with now!
Could be a really nice experience!
I hope I have made sense.

posted July 04, 2017 11:22 PM            

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Originally posted by Zhooey:
Thank you for all this, i need time To digest process, and typing on my phone is boring so ill comme black later to answer

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posted July 04, 2017 11:23 PM            

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Originally posted by Randall:

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