Author
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Topic: I finally did it!!! I told my mom I changed my name!
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Gabby Moderator Posts: 4488 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted July 28, 2014 02:37 PM
I legally changed my name last summer, in August. But I didn't officially go all the way n change everything over because I was worried what my would think. I knew it would hurt her, she specifically chose my name n loved it....but it was a very bad name for me numerically and what it made in my Lexigram was very bad! My name was very attached to my childhood abuse because my step dad used to specifically state my name over n over as he did his brainwashing me. He would say my name in a very kind way as he did horrible things to me, and say, 'My name' do you see how you deserve this? 'My name' tell me that you know you did this, it's your fault...do you see this, 'my name'. He eventually trained me to want the discipline n pain because I believed I had done whatever he was accusing me of, even when I hadn't. Over n over he spent hours everyday training me and I'd zone out often during these sessions and he'd affectionately say my name over n over until he got me to come back to reality and hear him instead of tuning him out then he could continue. I lost my ability to trust my own memory about things and went I to a fog that I lived in, in various degrees from about age 3-25. So my name was a trigger for me to go back into that fog and bring me back to a very weak place that I stop trusting my own judgement and felt like I deserved pain that I really didn't. I didn't realize my name was such a trigger until about a year n half-2 years ago. Today I told her, n I told her why! She cried but understood, we both cried about it! She said if that man wasn't dead she would kill him, she said sometimes she wishes she would have been the one who killed him even if she would have went to prison. Fortunately someone else murdered him, not my mom! Lol So now....I'm completely free to become the new me!! She said she will work hard to start calling me my new name! I'm so happy, I feel so free! IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 43433 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 29, 2014 11:46 AM
Congrats!IP: Logged |
Gabby Moderator Posts: 4488 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted July 29, 2014 01:24 PM
Thank you! It was hard and a huge thing holding me back from going all the way! I'm not sure if I need to pick an amazing date to change everything over on my license? I chose a great date last year for my court hearing....is this equally important? IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 43433 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 30, 2014 10:31 AM
Yes! Definitely!IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 43433 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 31, 2014 02:23 PM
And maybe look at Astrology also. IP: Logged |
Gabby Moderator Posts: 4488 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted July 31, 2014 11:15 PM
Ok!! There is a great date coming up in early August!IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 43433 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 01, 2014 12:23 PM
Go for it!IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 43433 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2014 01:07 PM
Did you do it yet?IP: Logged |