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Author Topic:   Synastry Overlays and The Right Relationship for You
JChristine
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posted November 30, 2010 10:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JChristine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So I know here in Lindaland that when we look at Synastry we usually want to find certain standard configurations in order to determine whether or not a relationship is viable or not.

Examples being:
7th house overlays/aspects
Angle conjunctions
Mars/Venus/Pluto aspects
Sun/Moon/Asc aspects etc

However I'm curious about synastry that is long lasting/viable but does not fit the usual list. Can synastry & composite charts be successful between a couple that does not fit the standard criteria, but is a success because it fits & enriches the charts & lives of those involved?

When I think back on my past relationships I can see how different overlays worked.

7th House Partner: We clicked, but we compromised a lot, everything was a business plan on how to live fairly. It became an ordeal just to be together...everything was about being just/fair, it was fun at first and great relationship practice, but it sucked the joy out of things. It became more about what/how much one could/could not give as opposed to what could be lovingly shared.

4th House Partner: The overwhelming feeling of familiarity, wanting to own a home together, have a family, comfort. I was even willing to be a Step mother to his child.
Was a nice feeling, but there was so much ease that he couldn't be pushed to show up for a date!

8th House Partner: Still figuring this one out! At first there was a lot of chemistry between us, but as time went on I would just find myself irked by his presence. A lot of things about him just got under my skin. I would take long breaks from seeing him, and ultimately ended it because I disliked how I felt around him. Guess he dug up and mirrored all my 8th house dirt. And to top it off, he would not take no for an answer and it took me a month to break things off with him. He was still very upset about it in the end.

And Finally: 1st House Partner: I feel like sighing a breath of relief. Finally someone who I feel I can be myself with. We carry on like two chattering monkeys in a tree. There is a lot of laughter and familiarity. There is a great deal of passion too. Our point of views are very similar and as he said on our first date "It feels like we've been married for 20 years" If he proposed tomorrow I'd probably say yes.


Now I wonder if I like this relationship best because my chart is geared toward it and it fits my natal needs. Or does the standard rules still apply?

Whats your experience like with Synastry?

Which overlay did you like the best?

Which overlay did you like the least?

Which one was the most successful?

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JChristine
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posted December 02, 2010 08:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for JChristine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*bump*
No takers at all?? C'mon! Just a lil discussion

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Ami Anne
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posted December 02, 2010 08:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
With 12th house synastry,you live in each other's unconscious.
I suppose this would be my favorite cuz I am an 8th house type of person

------------------
If I am not for myself, who am I? If I am only for myself, what am I , Bruh

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angel100
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posted December 02, 2010 06:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for angel100     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I really love your description of the first house synastry overlay..I identify with that very much. The best relationship I have had to date was with a virgo guy. My ascendant is 8 degrees virgo and his venus is 8 virgo aswell...he said he was instantly attracted to me on first sight. His sun is 20 virgo also in my first house..conjunct my natal mars...all that 1st house personal planets/points conjunctions just made for a great relationship....everything was there frienship, great sex and yet, challenges that kept the spark alive....I feel the 7th house is too idealistic at times..I've seen a few instances where one partner had a personal planet on the others descendant (or in their 7th house) and they were together for years but eventually seperated because they hadn't really been themselves with each other from the beginning?...Eighth house overlay I have also experienced...his sun, moon and venus all in my 8th house..he saw me as a sexual object..a toy that he could play with whenever he wanted...very posessive though despite being an ass lol...4th house overlay I wasn't very fond of..I felt VERY comfortable around him....could talk to him about anything..but not much sexual spark...

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vertiver
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posted December 02, 2010 06:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for vertiver     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I recently was seeing this guy that had his Saturn exactly conjunct my ASC. I didn't notice any Saturnian vibes, but I read that the Saturn person often feels that the relationship will inevitably fail, and recently I've tried to get a hold of him and no response.

But I'm relieved in a way, I knew he wasn't the "one" if there is such a thing. Plus he is a Capricorn Sun, so obviously Saturn is going to play a big role for him. Now I can go on to date someone else, that I've had my eye on for a while!

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JChristine
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posted December 02, 2010 08:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JChristine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Awesome! So far I'm loving the 1st house overlay the most. Has anyone experienced 5th house overlay? Lots of romance maybe? I've had a little bit of 6th house in which I lit up someone's 6th house. I always wanted to be of service & of use. It just sucked when it was taken for granted and became the expectation.

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Lioness
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posted December 02, 2010 08:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
With 12th house synastry,you live in each other's unconscious.
I suppose this would be my favorite cuz I am an 8th house type of person


Noooooooooooooooooo....... its to confusing.. you also hide everything from each other.. especially ur feelings..

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JChristine
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posted December 02, 2010 08:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JChristine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami & Lioness,

Again this is why I'd like to know if Synastry is highly dependent on what a person needs to evolve and grow.

12th house does hide many a thing, however it can be beautiful when it comes to transcending boundaries and getting in touch with your highest self & the Universal Oneness. That may work for Ami but be horrible for Lioness. Maybe its ideal for the long term or it may be just what you need to get you on the right path for the next relationship.

My chart is 12th house heavy, I can dig the unseen & spiritual, not too long ago I wanted a relationship I could get down, dirty & deep with. I received the 8th house overlay...and then I decided I didn't want it anymore! Lol...I got clearer on my desires for a relationship and 1st house overlay arrived.

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staborgi
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posted December 02, 2010 10:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for staborgi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I recently read something about the 2nd and 12th houses being pretty important in relationships since they are inconjunct the 7th house. My relationships with overlays in my 2nd, and Taurus Suns (the ruler of my second)- I feel like I don't have to try too hard with them, they see me for the things I like about myself and there's a kind of comfort there so I don't feel inhibited- which means a lot to me. My experience with the 12th is just as fascinating and I get just as attached to its dynamics but kind of uncomfortable too. Usually what will happen is that I'll feel some initial discomfort and mistrust and then the person starts to do or say things that seem so keenly in sync with my own unspoken feelings that I eventually, with enough time to let things settle, I feel very protected and connected to them. But the initial mistrust is kind of hard to get past and really strikes me in an undeniable way. My happiest relationship was with someone whose Moon conjuncted my ASC from the 12th and whose Mars was in my 12th as well. I felt like this person cared deeply about me and was so in tune with me and not willing to let go of that connection and pursuing it (Mars) that it ended up being a really meaningful experience. And I really always felt 100% at ease if he was around.

.Actually I really agree with your description of 7th house relationships JChristine- the constant back-and-forth and reticence of 7th house overlays isn't really attractive to me. Draining and ultimately not very spontaneous.

I like 11th house overlays too. I think it might be especially true because I have a super tight Venus/Uranus conjunction and heavy emotional stuff, even though I can relate to it because of a lot of Scorpio in my chart, just isn't conducive to romance and fun to me. But I feeling of objective friendship and comradery is. I feel like I have a solid base for the relationship that I can always fall back on if we ever get too swept up in anything. I think with something like that I am more willing to get into 8th house stuff- which I am very intrigued by in relationships because I like the lack of b.s. that 8th house relationships provide. I admit if it's too heavy, I'm likely to become really uncomfortable, but I like it mixed in with friendlier aspects and overlays because I feel like the person is really interested in what makes me tick- stuff I don't even know about- and I end up learning more about myself and living sincerely and from the heart (my Sun is in the 8th so that's probably why I care about that).

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Lioness
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posted December 02, 2010 10:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by JChristine:
Ami & Lioness,

Again this is why I'd like to know if Synastry is highly dependent on what a person needs to evolve and grow.

12th house does hide many a thing, however it can be beautiful when it comes to transcending boundaries and getting in touch with your highest self & the Universal Oneness. That may work for Ami but be horrible for Lioness. Maybe its ideal for the long term or it may be just what you need to get you on the right path for the next relationship.

My chart is 12th house heavy, I can dig the unseen & spiritual, not too long ago I wanted a relationship I could get down, dirty & deep with. I received the 8th house overlay...and then I decided I didn't want it anymore! Lol...I got clearer on my desires for a relationship and 1st house overlay arrived.


Yes I can agree with that.. What's comfortable for one, may not work for someone else... It is a very deep and meaningful connection, yes it does force you to see your self in a different light, to become your higher self...
Really this is not easy... Its been very emotional.. I am not an emotional person.. I view emotions as weakness.. Well not the emotion its self, but to show emotions is a weakness... So for this one guy to come along like dah dah dah dah.. and make me emotional causes a lot of confusion.... I've had to figure out what emotions are.. I have to understand what I'm feeling... This is truly the hardest thing I have ever had to do... I have been through alot.. I never show my weakness .. But YES I am learning from it.... It's just hasnt been an easy road... sighhhh

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Lioness
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posted December 02, 2010 10:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by staborgi:
My experience with the 12th is just as fascinating and I get just as attached to its dynamics but kind of uncomfortable too. Usually what will happen is that I'll feel some initial discomfort and mistrust and then the person starts to do or say things that seem so keenly in sync with my own unspoken feelings that I eventually, with enough time to let things settle, I feel very protected and connected to them. But the initial mistrust is kind of hard to get past and really strikes me in an undeniable way. My happiest relationship was with someone whose Moon conjuncted my ASC from the 12th and whose Mars was in my 12th as well. I felt like this person cared deeply about me and was so in tune with me and not willing to let go of that connection and pursuing it (Mars) that it ended up being a really meaningful experience. And I really always felt 100% at ease if he was around.

Well said.. I agree, its fascinating, yet uncomfortable. I do feel as if He and I protect each other.. We are very deeply in tune.. I do feel as if I know his entire self, even though he hasnt told me much... What I mean by self, is not his experience's but what he feels, and his views,I know his reactions...

Did you two have a lot of weird and crazy coincidences? Does it seem like you have lived the same life? Meaning alot of the same experience's yet different...

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Ami Anne
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posted December 02, 2010 10:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Joni Mitchell had a song "A Case of You"
One line says "You're in my blood like Holy Wine"
That is 12th house synastry.
I am a very,very deep person.
I need someone who can be as deep as I need to go.
That would be 12th house synastry, I think.
You could say anything to that person.

------------------
If I am not for myself, who am I? If I am only for myself, what am I , Bruh

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staborgi
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posted December 02, 2010 10:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for staborgi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah, we did have a lot of weird coincidences. Lots of times I would randomly find myself thinking about him and end up running into him. He's said the same to me.

But I'll be honest, I think the weirdest coincidences I've ever had with anyone have to be with this guy I'm getting to know right now. My Mars is in his 12th in a super tight conjunction with his Saturn/Pluto. Maybe it's because Mars is my ASC ruler and Pluto his...there are some other interesting things going on...all my planets are in super tight conjunctions to his, a lot of exact midpoint stuff, and similar natal aspects we share. I honestly have never felt that I know someone so well without any "hard evidence" only to later and continually have it confirmed. Really specific stuff too...we also have very similar family histories. I could go on and on...I remember one time I was shoe shopping at thought of these sneakers he owns that I like- as I was thinking this, the sneakers appear before me and I look up and he's standing right in front of me in the street. Stuff like that, for the entire time I've known him!

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Lioness
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posted December 02, 2010 11:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by staborgi:
Yeah, we did have a lot of weird coincidences. Lots of times I would randomly find myself thinking about him and end up running into him. He's said the same to me.

But I'll be honest, I think the weirdest coincidences I've ever had with anyone have to be with this guy I'm getting to know right now. My Mars is in his 12th in a super tight conjunction with his Saturn/Pluto. Maybe it's because Mars is my ASC ruler and Pluto his...there are some other interesting things going on...all my planets are in super tight conjunctions to his, a lot of exact midpoint stuff, and similar natal aspects we share. I honestly have never felt that I know someone so well without any "hard evidence" only to later and continually have it confirmed. Really specific stuff too...we also have very similar family histories. I could go on and on...I remember one time I was shoe shopping at thought of these sneakers he owns that I like- as I was thinking this, the sneakers appear before me and I look up and he's standing right in front of me in the street. Stuff like that, for the entire time I've known him!


Yeah the coincidence's are really weird.. Ours are a little different.. more like same life events, yet different... My first job is what he does now (yet at a higher level) We started working for the same company at age 20. But in different area's.. I was begged to go to his area.. I wanted another position, but was told this one is perfect for me... I even rejected the money they offered to me, so the up it... We see each other all week, so we dont really run into each other, but we do walk into rooms from opposite ends at the same time...

Also our kids are 1 day apart.. we both had kids at age 19.. the list just goes on and on....
His Sun,Mars,Mercury,Vesta,Ceres,Dsc and SN are in my 12th... Oo.. his Vertex/Pallas conjuncts my 12th house cusp.
Geez... can u see why he effects me so hard..

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JChristine
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posted December 03, 2010 05:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for JChristine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by staborgi:
[B]I recently read something about the 2nd and 12th houses being pretty important in relationships since they are inconjunct the 7th house. My relationships with overlays in my 2nd, and Taurus Suns (the ruler of my second)- I feel like I don't have to try too hard with them, they see me for the things I like about myself and there's a kind of comfort there so I don't feel inhibited- which means a lot to me.

The second house overlay is interesting and startling to me. The current gentleman throws his Venus & Mars into my 2nd and I throw my Jupiter into his. Like I said, everything has moved very quickly but it feels so very natural. Neither of us to my knowledge feel like we're not being ourselves. Its very sweet and comforting. I'm more startled by how he wants to spoil me without me asking for anything. I'm a little wary about it since my experience with Mr. 7th House made me feel like if I couldn't pull my own weight or give as much in return that I wasn't deserving of gifts. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to spoil my loved ones, I can't wait for the day that I can just buy gifts just because and not have to worry about breaking the bank. I just struggle with the feeling of waiting for the 'other shoe to drop' Like...oh you spoil me now, but soon this is going to become an issue, isn't it.

I hope not. I think generosity & thoughtfulness are very attractiveness are very positive qualities to have.

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JChristine
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posted December 05, 2010 07:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JChristine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How about the emphasis of the different houses in Composite charts?

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blugrey
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posted December 07, 2010 08:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for blugrey     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
-

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lunatic
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posted December 08, 2010 12:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lunatic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The point is who feels it more?
I know for both there must be an influence, but who really feels the energy the "planet person" or the "house person"?
I like the 5house and the 8house the most, it feels more erotic than comfy. I wonder about the 4house, if the partner thinks you remind him his mother lol

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blugrey
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posted December 08, 2010 01:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blugrey     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
-

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lunatic
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posted December 08, 2010 01:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lunatic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
blugrey
what the 4th house means to you?

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blugrey
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posted December 08, 2010 01:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blugrey     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I guess it mostly just is this really warm feeling. For me, when I am around Cancer men and men with Cancer placements it's like I've come home from a really long journey and I'm really tired and just it's relief. It's half romantic half a family kind of feeling. I can let my guard down and open up and just feel comfortable with them. They bring out the affectionate childlike side of me and they just feel like "home", like I belong with them. With lots of these kind of people I can just look into their eyes from across the room and just feel electricity and warmth. It's not the most sexually intense feeling and not necessarily overly passionate... Though I do have a Cancer Mars, but it's just like I'm in a haze and the world kind of slows down and I feel at peace and my mind slows down which is really hard to do usually. Haha!

I have Cancer 4th house...

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blugrey
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posted December 08, 2010 01:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blugrey     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And when it comes to the family part, rather than an overt brother, mother, or whatever family role that is comparable, they feel like someone I can MAKE a family with... If you can catch my drift.

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lunatic
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posted December 08, 2010 11:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lunatic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
blugrey
thanks for answering

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12thhouser
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posted May 28, 2012 09:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12thhouser     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I realize we're talking about synastry overlays and relationships, but when I read the question about "who feels it more," I felt the need to chime in here.

I have Pisces ascendant, and two friends of mine have their Pisces suns right on my ascendant line. Given the interpretations I've read online that the Sun person feels they can just be themselves around the 1st house person, I have found that to be the case. I've felt more or less like an empty vessel that the sun person just poured themselves into, whether I was up for it or not. The house person's mere presence seems to trigger the Sun person just opening up, almost like they're "confessing" everything they've been holding inside. This seems to go along with other discussions I've had on the issue, that the Sun person can be themselves, but the house person can really only show their ascendant side. I've also read of there being "instant approval" between the two. I guess that's the case, but with the two Pisces sun people I knew, I didn't feel the "approval" toward them (not that I disapproved), but I think they each felt it toward me.

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Lotis White
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posted May 28, 2012 08:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lotis White     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is an interesting topic.

Okay I’ve been into astrology for a long time (since age 13) and throughout this time I’ve developed certain steps for identifying someone's romantic 'type' using astrology... (This is a combination of my own ideas and what I’ve learned form many grate astrologers out there)

For identifying someone’s type when looking at the natal chart first I check the OBVIOUS things…

5th house cusp and ruler, plus planets in the 5th for… who is romantically exciting to you, who impresses you, who is the ’apple of your eye’ . This house is the one in charge of romantic sparks and infatuation (also check the sign next along after the cusp sign, if a large part of it falls into the 5th house).

Then, 7th house cusp and ruler, plus planets in the 7th house for…who gives you a feeling of sweet liking, affection, warmth, and completion…. Like they offer you what you ‘need’ in a partner. The 7th house is not always exciting like the 5th house but rather it represents who you like to be with, and relate to as an equal and partner.

And last but not least, 8th house cusp and ruler, plus planets in the 8th for… who attracts you in an intriguing ‘lets merge’ type of way… Here you want to figure the other person out, and connect with them on the most intimate level possible. This is where we share of ourselves and what we have to offer with another physically, emotionally, and financially to the point where our lives are deeply intertwined.

From an astrological perspective the 5th house is the ROMANCE/COURTSHIP period of the relationship…

The 7th house is the MARRIAGE/COMMITMENT part of the relationship…

And the 8th house is the CONSUMATION/MERGING of resources part of the relationship that occurs after a formal commitment.

There are TWO major ways to connect with your partners chart using these houses… The first is by having planets in the other persons chart fall into these houses using HOUSE OVERLAYES… The second is by having planets in the other person’s chart ASPECT the HOUSE CUSP RULERS in synastry….

For example having someone’s Moon conjunct your 8th house ruler could make you feel profoundly intimate toward that person even though their Moon is not actually in your 8th house. I can not overemphasize the importance of the house cusp rulers enough in terms of how they can create CHEMISTRY between two people.

Then, after looking at these obvious indicators of romantic attraction, I’ll start examining the HIDDEN INDICATORS OF ATTACTION in the person’s chart… Our SECONDARY 5th, 7th and 8th house cusps…

Just as we all have PRIMARY 5th , 7th and 8th house cusps in our natal chart which we all know about, there are also other houses in our chart which function as a SECONDARY version of the house. A backup, if you will, that provides extra information about our tastes in that area of life…

I’ll continue to explain this using the Dsc as an example. But remember that EVERY house in your chart (including the 5th and the 8th ) has another secondary house that functions in a supplementary way regarding the theme of the house in question.

Here’s how it works… (using the Dsc as an example)

Every sign in the zodiac is naturally linked (on a symbolic level) to a certain house cusp in our chart… Aries is linked to the 1st house, Taurus is linked to the 2nd house, Gemini is linked to the 3rd house, and so on….

So if you want to know which of other house cusps in your chart is symbolically linked to your Dsc… look at the sign of the 7th house cusp (our PRIMARY 7th house), and then find the house in your chart that is symbolically linked to your Dsc cusp sign. For example, if you have a Pisces DSC look at the 12th house. In the case of a Pisces Dsc, the 12 house will revel supplementary information about who you are attracted to, and who you have chemistry with. Also look at planets in the 12th, the sign of house ruler, and how this ruler is aspected). In another example, if you have an Aquarius Dsc look at your natal 11th house for extra clues on what you like in partnership. For a Capricorn Dsc look to the 10th house. For a Virgo Dsc look at the 6th house. For an Aries Dsc look at the 1st house, and so on through the zodiac….

I call the house symbolically linked to the DSC sign the ‘SECONDARY DSC’ because it can function as an extension of the 7th house….. In terms of what you attract, what type of partnership experiences you have, and what you look for in a partner…. It’s like the secondary Dsc is an ECHO of the primary or original natal 7th house…. The first time an echo bounces it is the clearest and the loudest…. And this echo is shown by the house symbolically linked to the sign on 7th house cusp…

Looking at it in another way… People with an Aries Dsc look for others who ‘energize’ there personality and self assertion…. So when a partner places planets in Libra or Scorpio in this persons 1st house it will feel like natural partnership material for them. Same thing for people with a Gemini Dsc… the look for those who will energize them in the area of communication…. So when people put planets in this person’s 3rd house of communication, it also brings to the fore issues of partnership… and as you can guess it continues like this on through the zodiac using Dsc signs…

Celebrity examples…

Katie Holmes has Leo rising with Aqua in the DSC, and Tom Cruise’s Sun falls in Cancer in her 11th house…Tom Cruise has Scorpio rising with a Taurus DSC, and Katie’s Sun falls in Sagittarius in his 2nd house.

Angelina Jolie has her planets falling in Brad Pitt’s primary 7th and 5th houses. However Angelina has Capricorn on her Dsc, this matches Pitt’s Moon/Venus energy, but not his Sun… Well, Angelina’s secondary Dsc is her 10th house cusp, and she has Jupiter in Aries conjunct her Mc… and Brad is a Sag Asc/Sun ruled by Jupiter also in Aries…

With these examples hopefully you can see how house overlays, and also the signs showing up in the partners, chart are further explained by the secondary Dsc. Also look at aspect from the partner’s chart to the Secondary Dsc ruler to further explain your chemistry with that person.

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