posted January 11, 2010 10:17 AM         

Last year I had Saturn conjunct my virgo moon in the first house. I was an emotional wreck for most of the year. It was horrible. I felt lonely, isolated and depressed most of the time. I felt like I was in a giant black hole that I couldn't get out of. I felt invisible and unworthy of human interaction. Now I have slowly emerged out of that deep black hole, as Saturn has moved on.

However, now Saturn is conjunct my Sun in early Libra in the second house, which happens to also be squared by the lovely Pluto. So now I feel a lot like I am suffocating. I feel like I am in a tightly wrapped small box and I can't move, and all I want to do is scream but I can't make any sound. I am feeling very restricted to say the least.

I suppose I should mention that I also have transiting Uranus square my 5th house Neptune along with transiting Neptune square my 4th house Uranus.

I feel disorientated. People I thought were friends, have lied straight to my face, multiple times. Relationships have ended. Family relationships are seemingly disintegrating. I feel incredibly ineffectual and I'm losing motivation, quickly. I have been extraodinarily unproductive at work, even though I have strict time constraints. My mind is in a large haze and I just can't seem to get it together.

Alas, I don't really want to play anymore.

Next Saturn will move on to meet the rest of my Libra stellium, which include Saturn, Jupiter and Mercury and then my Venus in Scorpio. I do wonder what is in store for me in the next few years. I sincerely hope it gets better, or at least a little easier.